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77.8k · Feb 2018
Backspace
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2018
If I could turn back time
I would hit Backspace all day,
Id put on Caps Lock
and SHOUT what I say.

I'd use the whole Alphabet
To tell you hello,
Press seven Numbers
Til you picked up the phone.

I'd Tab through the comments
I didn't want to hear,
And use the Arrow Keys
To drag your body near.

I would Delete the harsh words
I didn't mean to speak,
And Insert the "I love yous"
I before couldn't leak.

I would use Ctrl to
Keep reigns over my heart,
And I would Escape lies
That tore us apart.

I'd Print out your photo
And kiss it goodnight,
Use the Calculator
To check that we were right.

I'd Paint you a picture
of us, you and me,
Then I'd hit Enter
Just so you would see.

Those are the things
I would do in my strife,
If only Backspace
worked in real life.
This is the first poem (that I have a copy of) i wrote that I actually thought was good. I was in seventh grade, twelve years old, and I wrote it for a newspaper competition. I knew it was really great but I didn't think I would beat all other applicants in the state in my age group. So you can imagine my surprise I'm sure when I DID win! That is the first time I was proud of my writing. So this one has a lot of special sentimental value. Thanks for reading.
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2019
I tried to save you many times before
Witnessed others try to save you too
Finally I realize that the only person
Able to save you from your demons is you
I don't want to save you, only show you the light you have within you so you can use it to save yourself
14.9k · Mar 2018
I Wish I
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2018
I wish I wasn't still in love
With the person I believed you were
I wish I remembered our time
Clearly instead of merged into a blur

I wish I could happen upon
A picture of us without feeling sick
I wish I was able to outrun
My pain, I tried, but it's too quick

I wish I was capable of
Saying your name without tears leaking out
I wish I had some control over
The honest chaotic words I spout

I wish I was better at apologies
I am sorry for causing you pain
I wish I was worse at forgiveness
My trust is too easy to regain

I wish I didn't miss your touch
And the way you hugged me
I wish I was able to talk
About us without saying "we"

I wish I was able to forget
How your face looks when your heart is sore
I wish I could listen to our song
And not crumble to bits on the floor

I wish I would have deleted your texts
So I would not reread them all day
I wish I had a magic wand
To turn our skies blue instead of grey

I wish I didn't fake a smile
In every picture I post
I wish I was brave enough
To exorcise your stubborn ghost

I wish I could escape the ropes
Of silence wrapped around my heart
I wish I wouldn't of bared my
Whole soul when you shared only a part

I wish I didn't see your image
In my mind each time I close my eyes
I wish I could forget the feeling
Of your fingertips dancing on my thighs

I wish I dreamed of something else
Besides your smile every night
I wish I could bury my hurt
Deep below the surface; out of sight

I wish I was an important enough
reason for you to change
I wish I could spin you like a
Rubiks Cube until you rearrange

I wish I had an easier time
Dragging this body out of bed every day
I wish I didn't want to hide
Under covers and waste away

I wish I could make the sun shine
And light up my life once more
I wish I wasn't too delicate
To speak openly like before

I wish I still felt beautiful
The way I did when you stared at me
I wish I would have stopped handing you chances
After number 93

I wish I possessed the strength
To push myself off my knees
I wish I had the perfect plan
To save you from your deserved disease

I wish I lived in the present
Instead I am always stuck in the past
I wish I could slow down time
I'm powerless; it flies by too fast

I wish I could leave you behind
Move on, let go of this sunken ship
I wish I didn't let you drive
Each time we went on a guilt trip

I wish I could predict the future
What our outcome will be
I wish I had the ability
To write the ending to this story

I wish I lived somewhere new
So I wouldn't see your mom around
I wish I could ask how you are
And look anywhere else but the ground

I wish I could put my heart
Back together in one piece
I wish I was strong enough
To force these wants and needs to cease

I wish I hated you for putting
Me through all seven layers of Hell
I wish I didn't miss your kiss
The heaven I once thought I knew so well

I wish I was a heartless corpse
Incapable of love or emotion
I wish I would have my breath taken
Sorrows are waves and I drown in this ocean
The ending doesn't feel right but it was getting long
10.3k · Nov 2018
My Jail
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
Wish I could do something right
So words would ring true
Wish I met high expectations
Maybe then I could lose a few

I wish I was not weighted with
Weakness well within my core
If only I was put together differently
Strength would emit from every pore

I create my shortcomings
How am I sabotaging my own goal?
Not trying in the first place
Allowing fear to take control

My heart bleeds in anticipation
Before cuts have a chance to appear
Live my life in apprehension
Assuming danger to always be near

My motionless state of insecurity
Realm of dysfunctional doubt
I forever am encapsulated in time
My skull is a jail and I cannot get out
Not so proud of this one but eh.. here it is anyway

Written 8/25/18
9.2k · Feb 2018
Sunset
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2018
Oh sunset, your aura still lingers,
A charming shade across the sky,
A perfect watercolor painting,
The first sign of day waving goodbye.

Oh sunset, you're so beautiful,
Your colors paint the air,
Flashes of the brightest hues,
You leave traces everywhere.

Oh sunset, how you grin,
With such a cheerful light,
Your lovely warmth is always,
An unexpected delight.

Oh sunset how you have lit my path,
Tolerated my blurry tears,
You're a familiar place, where I've loved and lost,
But still you remain, despite the cruel years.

Oh sunset, now you're dancing,
Alive, and carelessly free,
Sunset im feeling jealous,
Oh I wish that could be me.

Oh sunset, how fleeting, mysterious,
You never do stay for long,
Just enough moments to make me realize,
What in my life is so very wrong.

Oh sunset I despise your tricks,
The way you flirt with the sky,
I am not as easily deceived,
I see right through your lie.

Oh sunset i see youre wilting,
but please don't go just yet,
I need your flimsy arms to hold me,
and im scared i will forget.

Oh sunset, you fade, silent as always,
A trickle of fear touches my heart,
A sliver of doubt is all that I need,
To tear this beauty apart.

Oh sunset, you smile, wink, just play,
Deciding it's time to make haste,
So gone is the promise of comfort and love,
All hopes, all dreams; a silly waste.

The treetops aloft are golden,
but shadows are closing in,
Oh sunset i would love you more,
If you werent so weak, such a coward, a fool,
To  let the darkness win.
Funny story; I wrote this in my head while on a walk and jotted it down the best I could for what I remembered, and then I lost it so I tried to write it again, now I have stumbled across the old one so I combined them to make one seamless piece of art.
8.9k · May 2018
A Fair Warning (Haiku)
Amanda Kay Burke May 2018
Before you love me
Know my mind is ****** up with
Pure insanity
Now you have seen my crazy firsthand
8.8k · Jan 2018
Overdose (Rap)
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2018
VERSE 1

Another year has come and gone,
I realize now that I was wrong,
For ******* at you way too long,
Blaming you for us not getting along,
Arguing with you until dawn,
We go back and forth just like ping-pong,
About all of the crazy conclusions I've drawn,
Now it's eggshells we are walking upon,
I hate that you are distant and withdrawn,
I'm trying but it's so hard to be strong,
I know that with you is where my heart belongs,
I'm reminded each time I hear our song,
This feeling is one I wish I could prolong,
Your love is a drug, I love to be on.

HOOK

It's hard for me to say, but I'm addicted to loving you,
Always chasing my next fix, you are what I pursue,
I need to feel your high, I need to have you close,
I just want to fill up on your love, so I can overdose.

VERSE 2

Baby you know you are my everything, my high when I am low,
You pick me up when i am down, I can't let you go,
You really are the best thing, that I have ever found,
When I'm with you i feel like I'm ten feet off the ground,
Nothing can compare to you, babe you are the best,
But when I'm too far away from you, I turn into a mess.
To the point I will do anything to feel your caress,
And rub my hands across your bare chest,
I don't know why I do this, a different side of me emerges,
When you get me alone and I give into my urges,
Since I had a taste I'm craving you and no one else,
It's obvious I'm strung out, all my friends say I need help.

(HOOK)

VERSE 3

We've been staying up too late,
This addiction I'm growing to hate,
My mind is fuzzy I can't think straight,
I've even started to lose weight,
When you penetrate me we levitate,
I'm elevated, my pupils dilate.
I try to slow down, gradually wean,
Myself off of the magic inside of your jeans,
But hard as I try I can't break the routine,
I'm beginning to think I'll never stay clean.

(HOOK)

BRIDGE

I'm addicted to your love, though it's tough to admit,
This habit is one I'm not sure I can quit.
This is my first attempt at writing rap but I think it came out great. Any feedback would be soooo appreciated!
8.2k · Jul 2018
Heavy-Chested
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2018
Heavy-chested, I try to release emotions,
The moon shakes its head in dismay,
Seasons unwinding, heartache in slow-motion,
And in weather hides words I can't say.

In the thick sincere compliments
Concerns flail, attempt to get out,
Bang on barriers, will not budge,
'Life consumed, hopeless doubt.

Mind enveloped in fear,
Shackled by trusting nature,
Wings clipped, self-made prisoner,
I wonder if you sense restraints stir.

Certain only one choice allowed,
A crowd of disapproving eyes stare,
Maybe stars can take me far from this place,
They twinkle, dreams in night air.

Want to shine with a similar light,
Ugly areas stand in protest,
Hold back the glow, I seem dimmer,
Searching for a spot to rest.

Weakness planted in crevices,
Rosebushes bearing thorns blooming,
Learning to love myself even when no one else does,
I'm hard to be with, I am only human.
Love me when i least deserve it, because thats when i need it the most.
7.6k · May 2018
Alone And Trapped
Amanda Kay Burke May 2018
Why do I find myself alone and trapped
By the four walls around my mind?
I search for some way to scale them
A rope or ladder I never find.

I did not choose to be in this desperate place
Here where my darkest thoughts are kept
The deepest corners are a lair to pain
Dusty crevices long since swept.

Amongst undisturbed sticky cobwebs
Lies a part of me coated in dust
The tortured memories of nightmares past
Don't want to uncover, know deep down I must.

This house built to harbor hatred and hurt
Changed from a home to a prison cell
Halls that used to be a welcome escape
Have instead transformed into an exitless hell.
My mind is a home I'm trapped in,
and it's lonely inside this mansion.
-NF
6.9k · Mar 2018
Fill Me Up
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2018
Fill the hollow crevice of my existence
With light, show me a warmer way
Stop numbness from taking over
I am slipping further0 into dismay.

Down the senseless pit of despair
My direction is out of control
Darkness paralyzes my mind
Strangling thoughts that crawl and roll

Constricting my body until I give up
I kick the air but cannot land a blow
The empty space will never stop resisting
The sound of my own scream has become my foe.

The endless void swallows my voice
Here the tears I cry fall forever
The lies I have told mean nothing now
I knew my will was always meant to sever.

Faced with nothingness all around
This is my life; a ******* hole
It's slowly shoving me outwards
Little by little, pain taking over my soul.

Chaos has reality gripped
In a tight but unsure grasp
Confusing the mass of color
And motion contained in its clasp

Bullied by the tidal wave of isolation
Head above water though it is strong
Giving up the ability to move
Surviving by the current floating me along.

My consciousness is traveling lethargically
I no longer feel my torso or limbs
Attempt to wiggle a finger but it won't budge
It takes all my strength to speak and part dry lips.

This is where existence ceases
Where time's beginning meets its end
An unending loop of monotonous emotions displayed
A breif instant in which Eternity life does suspend
This started as how I felt when I was crippled by heartache and doubt but switched lanes kinda. It's random I suppose. But it sounds pretty.
6.0k · Feb 2018
Arms
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2018
"Your arms feel like home." I said.
"Yours are heaven." He replied.
Me and my boyfriend will say things to eachother that are so beautiful i turn it into poetry sometines. This is one such example. He takes my breath away.
6.0k · Sep 2018
The Me You Knew
Amanda Kay Burke Sep 2018
Passed you in the hall today
It was good seeing you smile
Why don't you ever stop?
So we can chat for awhile.

Always been there for me
Each time I needed to vent
Lately it feels like I'm trapped
On a seperate continent.

What happened to how we were?
Secrets we used to share?
Silence settled in somehow
Now it's coursing through the air.

Left wondering what went wrong
Did I change too much for your mind to take?
Bet you're tired of helping me
Bounce back from every mistake.

Guess I was choosing roads
Guiding away from your direction
I was misled along the path
I lost all your affection.

Two different people now
Feel your disappointed gaze
Watch me walk away from you
I recede into the maze

You are immersed in happiness
Unaware of our lives drifting apart
I am wishing that things could be
Like they were at the start.

I long to feel close again
If only we could go back
Even with a time machine
Would I be able to get my life on track?

I am not the same person
I was the day I met you
But if you would look a little harder
There is still a glimpse of the me you knew.
This was written a long time ago about  drifting apart from a close friend
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
Do not wanna scream at you every day
I don't want to fight or make you hurt
More and more I say words that cause you pain
Is it so hard to make this work?
Would need you if you didn't need me
To face that realization is hard
Sleep off doubts hoping you won't see
Return cause they never go far
Why are you what I fear the most?
Dreaming open eyes
Fantasies we hope to come true that we used to host
Never will if you keep giving lies
There will come a day everything changes
Nothing will stay the same
Left picking up pieces while reality rearranges
Both will end up with cuts of shame
Love with an intensity so great
When saying your name it rattles doors
Mind might belong to me
My heart is all yours
For my best friend and lover Paul
5.5k · Jun 2018
I Mean It
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2018
I am still trying to be your friend
Looking past many flaws
It's kinda hard to see past
The stress you always cause

I know I should let you go
You are a battle I'll never win
Something keeps me holding on
Through the chaos I am in

You are not worth it anymore
This is not what I envisioned
I truly mean it this time when I say
I am done with being imprisoned
No date on this one..
5.3k · Oct 2018
The Other Woman
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
We fell in love, life was perfect for awhile,
Each touch was concentrated sunlight,
We'd kiss, I'd taste whichever flavor
***** we drank earlier that night.

Turned to you, I needed a friend,
Called to vent every day,
Time passed by us swiftly,
Had my heart, things finally felt okay.

Was the perfect romance for awhile
But as the summers and winters went by
Began to notice the thick haze we lived in,
Something different in your eyes.

Didn't know what was amiss,
Keep me waiting up all night,
Though I wasn't sure exactly what it was
Knew you were hiding something out of sight.

Uncovered more and more incessant lies,
Started small then grew, neverending,
We sadly floated further apart
With each secret text you were sending.

Was obvious there was someone else,
She took all of your time,
I figured you were buying her lots of gifts
Because you never seemed to have a dime.

Truth is, it was painfully clear,
Should have seen it at the start,
I was not the only one
Owning a piece of your heart.

The day I finally discovered who she was,
Identity of your seductive sin,
Is the day our world changed forever,
Your mistresses name was ******.
What do you think? I thought it was a pretty good idea. Does anyone else have any metaphors or similes they'd like to contribute for cheating compared to drug addiction? If that makes sense..
4.5k · Apr 2022
Skull Fuck Chuck
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2022
You live on "borrowed time"
At least that is the story you say
If that actually is true
Can you explain the delay?
Knowing how fake you are
Sure it's just a lie
Many of your words are *******
Surprised you are not covered in flies
Uncertain how you got to this point
Was a time where you once stood tall
What I mean;
You had a reason to
Still do with no reason at all
I guess along journey you changed
The person that I see
Became a perfect example
Example of who NOT to be
You tread upon backs of others
In order to get what you want
Even if that means inflicting pain
You do not mind being a ****
Not thinking about future
Solely focused on present thrill
Feeding on people's energy
Seem to never get your fill
I suspect you are miserable inside
That's why you tear others in two
Only way to ease your suffering  
Make everyone as unhappy as you
But never seem to shed a tear
Wear a permanent grin
I believe it's because you are striving so hard
Concealing the agony within
Broken so many ways
Have a house but it's not home
Without family to return to
Probably easier to roam
A steady rotation of bodies
Little boys avidly chasing your tail
Your company isn't free
Because *****'s for sale
Thrown like a football
Highest bidder gets the pass
You get bored-no problem
There is always greener grass
Your life rests in ruins
Lost so many parts
Kids
Friends
And reputation
Vanished like your heart
Falling apart a piece at a time
Pretending to keep together
We both know you can't maintain
Perfect charade forever
Your youthful beauty all but dead
Wear so much paint on your face
Entire cosmetics section of Walmart
Stuffed into your makeup case
I see beneath false advertisement
True colors bleed right through
Under skin is grey and black
Soul the ghastliest hue
Reflected in statements you make
Sound either insane or idiotic
Unsure if you are playing stupid
Or you are truly that psychotic
It appears you hurt those around you
Because you can
As if you don't have enough suitors
Steal another woman's man
Your cruelty clearly defined
At least it is from my point of view
Fool everyone else surrounding
A persona that isn't true
But karma will catch up in the end
Hope you're destined to be alone
I feel that is what you deserve
Frozen straight to bone
It's never too late to turn over a new leaf
Begin treating people right
You have to want improvement
Fear for you it's out of sight
Content with road you're walking
Not knowing where it leads
Flesh poked with needles
Uncaring it bleeds
Darkness swallowing you whole
Don't seem to be aware
It's strangling the last bit of goodness
Within remaining there
I do not understand how you can glance
In mirror and not feel disgust
All the disappointment you've caused
Lost a lot more than just trust
Next time you drag name through the mud
Make sure own hands are clean
You have more sins in your book
Than a ***** magazine
If expecting us to back down
In for quite a surprise
Soon as we go toe-to-toe
I will cut you down to size
So better watch your mouth
If the plan is to avoid confrontation
Free to do and say whatever you please
I warn you - there will be retaliation
This was written about this ***** who was talking **** about my family behind our backs. Sorry to anyone who is offended. The to title comes from a text she sent a friend of ours saying she wanted to beat her to a ****** pulp and then skull **** her, and her name is Charlie.
4.5k · Aug 2018
Sit Back And Watch You Fall
Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2018
Let go of the problem weighing your soul down
Lay your head on your pillow; rest
Listen to insightful words
Let my advice help you do what's best.

Slowly moving between dark realms
Tingling with faint apprehension
Entranced, stumbling in a clouded stupor
Ravenous greed beyond my comprehension.

What will it take to open your eyes?
Days are fading fast
Insecure about how many tomorrows you have
Or rather, how many you lack.

We have little time on Earth
I am screaming but you won't wake up
Hearing same opinions repeated
Broken spirit remains stuck.

Center of your universe
Drugs have your mind caged
I cannot tell which parts are real
Which are perfectly staged.

Your forgery is well-crafted now
The world is starting to see
The way you live not good or right
To speak then act differently.

Could I aid your hand somehow?
Each attempt met with resistance
Say the same phrases each time
From each other grow distant.

Honestly it has been over for awhile
I have given our love my all
Though I wish we could be together
It hurts too bad to sit back and watch you fall.
Its painful to watch an angel fall
4.3k · Jul 2018
Could Make Better Choices
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2018
Before moon comes out to show
Lack of progress I think I'll get drunk
Could make better decisions
Life is easier to flunk

I look down, hide my shamefIul eyes
Heart lays in the dirt
Wrung out, tossed aside like trash
Can I run from this hurt?

I placed expectations high
In the wrong box, the wrong shelf
Cannot disentangle, stuck to my mistakes
Try but fail to fix myself

**** it, I am gonna get high
Life too short to live sober, full of sorrow
Rather die tonight with smoke in happy lungs
Than survive an endless number of substance free tomorrows
It is hard to live a morally sound life.
4.1k · Aug 2018
Worth It
Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2018
I am waiting for this daydream
To fizzle out, die
For him to finally prove
This relationship is just a lie.

That everyone else's words are right
This ice is too thin
I must be crazy if I trust
And waste time with him.

I will only end up getting hurt
I know what's at stake
I'm telling you from the start
It is a chance I'm willing to take.

I might be a fool but I am
Ready for what turmoil may come
I am steeling my heart for the moment
When everything good comes undone.

I do not need your "wisdom"
Your bias and bitter advice
If he breaks me to pieces
You are not the ones who'll pay the price.

You do not understand my world
And to you I will not explain
I'm going to leave it at this
My happiness is worth the risk of pain.
Written a long time ago about a short relationship. He was a good guy though.
3.9k · Sep 2018
Universes
Amanda Kay Burke Sep 2018
Hold the universe inside my palms
I alone understand it is but a solitary dream
Between stars I make out memories
Connecting dots, forming images ingrained in my mind

I look in the unfilled depths of sky where suns have yet to burn out, remaining eternally preserved in an explosion of beauty lightyears away wondering about humans peering at their ambience through time and space

This isolated reflection I witness change in compliance with the predetermined path set in motion by the astrological forces of nature
Unstable
My hands must be trembling
Scared of sorrow and frustration they undeniably confront

The fear of the uncertain, the inconsistency of the unapologetic future awaiting
Solemn visions of an imperfect outcome, enough torment to push strength a bit too far over the edge

Fragile balance of peace and chaos resting within cupped desperate hands
Ignorant, the quickness of extinction among synapses in the cavern lighting the entirety of my skull
Pinned under familiar self-induced delusions
Galaxies silently begging for permanent freedom
Such fate to let their wishes dangle ignored
Urges within bursting, released
That moment I also give in
Forcefully close my fingers into a fist
Instantly crushing wild constellations scattered around my consciousness
A great deal more fragile than realized

Once unshakable destiny budged a millimeter by one lone act of rebellion
Against a powerful pull the majority pretend is rigid
Elusive control by way of self-combustion of life's temporary illusions
Proof one touch can fell worlds of fantasy

Founded on fiction

Or maybe

Reality
I was inspired by Horton Hears A Who
3.8k · Oct 2018
Promised Roses (Haiku)
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
You promised roses.
Laughter. Forever. Long nights.
Yet only gave goodbye.
Trying to improve this one.. its not really inspired by my life so it seems.. lackluster.
3.6k · Oct 2023
Words Are Flowers (Senyru)
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2023
Your words are flowers
Blooming in interactions
Early blossoms grow
Written 3-9-20
3.5k · May 2017
Weight
Amanda Kay Burke May 2017
Underneath the water,
My flaws are clear and tough,
I am forever shrinking,
but never thin enough.

My reflection is distorted,
Or so they tell me so,
But they don't understand,
They don't see the things I know.

So its time to stop speaking out,
I'm too far gone to save,
I don't hear the words I need,
The answer that I crave.

And every day, so carefully,
The numbers slowly rise,
Despite the suffering I do,
They tell me only lies.

It makes no difference what I do,
Or which foods I eat each day,
I will never look the way I want,
No matter how much or little I weigh.
3.4k · Apr 2017
Fuck You
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2017
******* Mom. ******* Dad.
Youre the reason why I'm sad.
You don't see, you don't care,
You make sure i can't go anywhere.

Soon enough ill be eighteen,
and youll be sorry you were mean,
When you call I'll say to you,
"You can go to Hell. *******!!!"
This was written a long time ago as im moved out now and have been for a long time but i like the raw emotion in it.
3.2k · Feb 2019
Gaslighting
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2019
Now that I know what
This means you can't do it to
My brain anymore
It is a psychological manipulation tactic where an 'abuser' makes intended 'victim' think they are crazy so they inherently cannot trust their own judgement/instinct. Pretty ****** up right? Don't let people do this to you!! It's common in physically and mentally abusive relationships! Yes there is such a thing as mentally abusive. Sometimes it's even worse than physical and this is coming from someone with experience with both..
3.1k · Aug 2018
Paradise
Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2018
Even through stormy skies
Sing songs of calmer days
I swear when cold and cloudy
Passion pacifies with sunlit rays

Looked at you, my frosty armor melted
No place warmer than your eyes
Daydreams and illusions don't come close or compare
Gut filled with air from fluttering butterflies

I discovered home in your embrace
Your love is thawing my ice
Your presence is a welcome heat wave to my Winter
In your strong arms I found paradise
Paradise every time I close my eyes
3.0k · Dec 2018
Eating Me Alive
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2018
Thoughts are eating me alive
I feel sharp bites as they gnaw
Bleeding out pints of sense and reason
From conclusions I draw

I am glad to drift to sleep every night
Even with precious time flying by
Happy to experience any relief
No problems behind closed eyes

Conversations filling free dreams floating within
Attempting to be understood
Have no interest in indulging opinions
Hanging silent in my head, engraved in 'would'

In efforts to turn around my thinking
I stuff my mind with different distractions
Put hands to use with various tasks
Only substances bring satisfaction

I need to unearth the causes
Responsible for lack of peace
Little by little learn to be happy
Sorrows burning my brain will cease
Thoughts can cause more damage than anything else
3.0k · Oct 2018
If It Doesn't Feel Right
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
Gaze upon your sleeping figure
Wonder where I went wrong
How can I love you so deeply
If in your arms I don't belong?

How come goosebumps rise
When I hear or think of your name
Yet with your face inches away from mine
Our love just doesn't feel the same?

How can my eyes look and see
Perfection from bottom to top
But feel magnetic attraction fading
Powerless to make it stop?

How can I rely on you for such
An enormous portion of my happiness
If every token of generosity
Makes me worth less and less?

How is every sincere compliment able
To spill from your mouth true and clear
When we are both aware you deserve better?
I don't match the adjectives poured in my ear.

How did our easy conversation
Turn to spontaneous spiteful fight?
Understanding somehow replaced with animosity
At least we still share words late into the night.

How can I be chilled by a trace of fear
Tagging along with excitement up my spine?
How is darkness tainting all we know
Yet one touch from you and I'm fine?

How am I able to hate part of you
While loving the rest with all my heart?
How am I distant when you are around
Then miss you very much when we're apart?

How can my brain worship your image
After the extensive damage you've done?
If you cause me to to feel my absolute lowest
How could I still believe you are the one?

Lay beside your body wishing
To be close like we were before
How can I yearn so strongly for your embrace
If we don't feel right anymore?
How can feelings so strong fade into resentment?
2.9k · Oct 2018
Congratulations, You Win!
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
Living for your twisted amusement
I am taking risk after risk
To be friends like I promised
Help you find happiness

When I was your girl that seemed simple
Had it figured out
Life took the things I knew about you
Replaced them with a load of doubt

It all happened within my reach
I was too slow to turn the tides
Losing all I clutched close to my heart
When I wouldn't loosen my grip time pried

Those who predicted our demise
Lifted their gaze to point and laugh
In that position I realized something
I was meant to grow from this mishap

It was a part of my journey
The truth was made openly clear
Dark clouds loomed over  sweet perfection
Horizon no longer smudged by denial and fear

Senses aren't functioning very well
In the center of your games
This place I recognize without hesitation
I sit and strategize methods to break the chains

There is no hand to conquer
Though this chess match was fun
I've learned you never play fair
You just cheat and cheat until you've won
It seems like everyone plays games nowadays
2.8k · Aug 2021
Slip And Fall (Haiku)
Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2021
A heart falling fast
Yesterday's footprints fading
Stumbling into love
Be careful boys and girls as love is a slippery surface
2.8k · Feb 2019
Cravings (Senyru)
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2019
Cravings for a hit
Hints of sin begin within
Winning bit by bit
Cravings are the worst
2.7k · Aug 2018
Savor My Smile
Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2018
I am so tired of the struggle
Existing every torturous minute on Earth
Want to feel good when I wake up
Look at myself, know my worth.

I want my insecurities to disappear
With me all hours of the day
Tried to abandon them with no luck
Stubborn ******* are determined to stay.

Distort my vision often
Sing fears, remind of the nothing I've become
Watching with glee as I sit in this prison
Search for something to make sadness numb.

A substance to silence my sorrows
Found conflict instead of the comfort I crave
I want tomorrow to carry less dread
Forecast is hot weather, not enough shade.

The Earth keeps on surprising me
How I wish the pain would stop
I miss the days when monsters weren't real
Now my shoulders they sit atop.

The world shakes unstable feet
Each time recovery takes longer
I am beginning to understand defeat
I think about past tears, I get stronger.

Like sun beaming after a rainstorm
I will blaze more brilliantly than before
Confidence shining through open pores in skin
Self_acceptance and forgiveness lighting my core.

I need to change my attitude
Drop bad habits weighing me down
Like leaves shed by Autumn trees
Free myself, let them cascade to the ground.

Mood flips rather quickly
I want control over emotions I feel
I may be happy for a moment but it never lasts
I savor those seconds my smile is real.
It used to be real most of the time. Now its hardly ever real.
2.6k · May 2021
Rainclouds
Amanda Kay Burke May 2021
I continue waiting for the storm to end
Your raindrops to stop falling down
I think I must be fooling myself
Every time you let me drown
2.6k · Jul 2018
Still Waiting
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2018
I keep giving you chances
Over and over you swear you're done
When I catch you lying I try to leave
Yet always return because you're the one
I'm finally beginning to realize
That the day you change will never come
Sometimes we wait too long for things we know aren't coming
2.5k · Dec 2018
Hero
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2018
For so long been a victim to your charm
Sweet and seductive smile
So I have seen voodoo put to work
Learned to accept it, at least for awhile.

Time has taken toll on us
Which is an excuse for behavior
Watch me grow up and grow tired
Of you being my savior.

What do I do to rescue myself?
Heart does not know how to fly
Is the leap worth the risk I take?
He isn't a hero, he's just a normal guy
She needed a hero, so that's what she became.
2.5k · Nov 2018
At Peace Inside
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
The one thing I cannot comprehend
In life continually questioned
Why I lack the strength to succeed
When told I have the tools I need

I'm wandering present desires
Mind lost yet never tires
Wondering what is out there to find
Path overgrown, leaving feet blind

So the day I find the inner compass I seek
Explore areas before was too weak
Breathe and know why I'm alive
I will finally be at peace inside
Why am I so far behind everyone else my age in life?
2.4k · Jun 2022
Eccentric
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2022
I am a little bit different
Do things my own way
I would rather be weird than boring
Don't care what others may say
I will always stay true to myself
2.4k · Oct 2018
I Dream Of Forgetting
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
We go deeper than we realize
Memory of us bleeding pictures heavy
Endure a number of slices from words
To assure us we are very unsteady

My soul has not stopped shaking since
You set off the earthquake that destroyed
Any defenses in okay shape
Your ripples I tried to avoid

Is it wrong to say I wish we'd never become
Friends so I would not get caught in your net
Let you entice me with flattery
Today my feet aren't getting wet

Crumbling but cannot show cracks
Taking measures so you won't decode
The variety of contradicting statements
I eagerly continue to unload

Leftovers of our romance
Strange and out of place
Feels like we are actors
Or athletes in a race

Despite the villian you see me as
I am hurting beneath my skin
Do what you like with lonely days
Jealousy predestined to creep in

Poetry too honest for you
Been a critic at best
I have found negativity can motivate
Claimed strength put to test

See you and I struggle as well
You run, catch up to my heels
There's no way you can match my pace
Tired, I let you control the steering wheel

Know exactly the right buttons to press
Tempers over edge when we fought
Dream of forgetting your incredible name
In reality mind for some reason will not
I can't get you out of my mind even after all this time maybe i should have waited longer before we separated but i made a rushed decision on your heart left an incision, im now haunted by regret and memories i cant forget, maybe there's a reason my heart won't set you free, is it possible somehow we are still meant tto be?
2.4k · Apr 2021
Safe Distance Away
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2021
You deserve much better
That is plain to see
I can't possibly imagine
What you see in me
You should be with someone capable
Of giving love and devotion
I am so ****** up inside
Numb to almost all emotion
You and I are different
Your heart is made of gold
While my own is solid as a rock
Impenetrable and cold
Why was I created this way?
Who have I become?
I barely recognize myself
Or remember where I'm from
Please don't get too attached
Because I am not made of glue
So just because you are stuck on me
Doesn't mean I will be too
Left all vulnerability behind
To deteriorate in the past
It's easier to remain indifferent
I've learned good things don't last
You can't sweep me off my feet
I've already been knocked to the ground
And I'll only drag you further down with me
The longer you stay around
Please don't give me presents
I am not worthy of the price
Somebody as ******* up as me
Shouldn't be with someone so nice
Please leave me for your own good
Before I rip your feelings apart
All my edges are sharp pieces of glass
If you get any closer I'll break your heart
Stay as far away from me as you can
2.4k · Aug 2018
Watching Our Love Catch Fire
Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2018
I watch our love go up in flames
Feel my soul catch fire too
Summer reminds of happier days
The face I once knew

Distance is dangerous wind
Fanning flames, vacant of your smile each day
Your heart so numb you cannot feel the burn
Hear it beat even miles away

Patience the quality I lack
Forget to give my feelings time
So these hasty decisions catch up
When it's too late to change my mind

In forgotten days when your heart was better
Pleasant, simple, and unaware
Friendship quietly develops rust
Photographs more than eyes can bear

Broken glass, shattered hearts
It has all lead to this dead end
Perfectly synced self-destruction
Beautifully orchestrated lies descend

Peeking through darkness, cartwheeling midair
No stars left in our sky
The night alive with melancholy
Sorrowful birdsong in gusts low and high

My heart suspended in tragic beauty
Soul dies a little more every day
Waiting for eyelids to finally open to the light
Radiating from the glow of flames guiding the way
I swear I'd burn the city down to show you the light
2.3k · May 2017
I Need A Man
Amanda Kay Burke May 2017
I need a man who will stand by me,
Not one who only looks out for himself,
I want more than someone who keeps,
My heart up on some dusty shelf.

I deserve someone who wont run away,
I need a man that i can trust,
How much longer will you keep me here?
Im alone and gathering rust.

I don't like being taken for granted,
I wish you wouldnt have cast me aside,
Sometimes it feels as if I was,
The only one who ever tried.

I did everything you asked me to,
but I guess it wasnt enough,
I need a man who is willing to fight.
You gave up as soon as things got rough.

Will you ever appreciate me?
Im tired of crying every night,
I love you but it hurts to hold on,
I need a man who will treat me right.
2.3k · Oct 2021
The Sunrise And Promise..
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2021
The sunrise
Promise of a new day is a blessing I don't deserve

The autumn
Chance to change it brings is a gift I won't accept

Thoughts of beauty make me resent myself

Pulled me up a thousand times yet I still dig yet another hole to crawl back into

Dormancy making heart itch with restlessness

Living life in a frightened state of inactivity

Leaving pain somewhere I won't find it again but somehow it always makes its way back home
Like a lost pet
2.3k · Apr 2022
Firework Flash (Haiku)
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2022
Fireworks flash bright
Sky flowers blooming above
Dazzling night lights fade
High above is a world of color
2.3k · Sep 2018
Shambles
Amanda Kay Burke Sep 2018
Our relationship lies in shambles
I guess I'm to blame
My mistakes have done damage
Things will never be the same

I say words I cannot take back
Ones that cut deep
I am sorry for harsh truths, selfish lies
Promises I failed to keep

I can repair some of what I broke
Not all wrongs can be made right
We put the past behind us
Doesn't mean you're alright

Just because you do not let me see you cry
Does not mean you shed no tears
Beneath your beautiful imperfection
Vision is altered by halting fears

The thought you knew is blurred
Cannot help but look at me differently
Not every single wrinkle in our relationship
Can be smoothed over with an apology

Used to have your trust and respect
You have taken both of them back
Now you stare at me with the same expression
As that of an amnesiac

Is there a road we can take to get back
To the paradise we were at before?
You say I am the only one you want
We both know you deserve more
Ir always rains the hardest on those who deserve sun the most
2.3k · Apr 2020
Broken Beginnings
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2020
Back to where we started
Broken homes
Broken hearts
Us against the world
Let me tackle darkest parts

Past plots reincarnated
Where we are at now
Foolish enough to believe what happened once
This place we won't allow

No matter how we strive to improve
Story is destined for tragedy
Bad behavior repeats repoitore
Stop trying to force what isn't meant to be

I think we know how this ends
Tried mending a million ways
There is no way to avoid the outcome
Yet we still cling tight to "always"

Happy ending in negative mind
Even close to reality
Disappointment forged chasms between us
Bond isn't what it used to be

As we call eachother corny names
Pain hidden behind each letter
We are back where we began our tale
Maybe this time will be better?
Maybe its harder to build from a wrecked foundation than from the ground up but it's worth the extra effort
2.2k · Apr 2022
Symphonality (Haiku)
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2022
I heard your music
Off-key and beat behind tune
I still tapped my feet
If people were melodies
Amanda Kay Burke Sep 2023
The door opens to world beyond
Say one final goodbye
We wish our time lasted longer
Your turn to be lifted into the sky
Always aware you were an angel
Now you have finally got wings to fly
About my mom
2.2k · Oct 2018
Dungeon
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
I am feeling lower than ever before
In my head I hold leaden weights
Think I need professional help
Emotions ignored become hard to navigate

Push down pain a little longer
Numb wounds for awhile
Gulp lumps of uneasiness
Conceal misery with a phony smile

Heart broken and bleeding
Hidden from all who look
I have mastered the art of composure
Face an unreadable book

Quiet night is tense and dim
Begging me to sneak off and play
Think I might cave in this one time
I'm scared I won't be able to get away

Under covers I hide in bed
Hoping I will not be found
By weakness and uncertainty
I lay motionless without sound

Trying to sort my issues
Organization isn't really my thing
Prefer to shove difficult subjects in a box
Lock out of sight so I can avoid the sting

Discovered something dull inside me
I found a tool sharper for out
Condemned the skin once considered home
It is easier to not think about

I'm told intensity only worsens with time
A smile hideously glued
Energetic as dying muscles will allow
Wild heart now meek and subdued

Memories will not depart
Echoes of voices loved then lost
Brighter still, rotating faces
Seasons changing sunlight to frost

My head has become a dark dungeon
Trapped there with my dirtiest sins
Watching mistakes as they rattle rusted bars
Capturing worst thoughts caged within
Sometimes my head is a quiet empty house painted white and others it is a crowded prison, dimly lit, dingy, filthy and loud.
2.2k · Oct 2021
Salutations (Haiku)
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2021
Stepped outside the door
Day waiting to tell me "Hi"
The blue sky smiling
I wish my smile was as big as the sky's
2.1k · Sep 2018
A Thousand Mistakes Carried
Amanda Kay Burke Sep 2018
Carrying a thousand mistakes in my arms
Thoughts weighed down by words and worry
In my mind rolling back and forth
Judgement making vision blurry

Surrounding area fades into the background
I watch anything but you
We each play with the other's feelings
A foolish game we both are used to

All my stress becomes complicated
Stretch my patience until barely there
Give myself another headache
Wasting peace on you, I stare

Friend? Foe? Not sure anymore
In your eyes darkness is rising
Love you no matter what shape you form
Any secret identity you may be disguising

I take your hidden baggage
All that I will never see
Welcome confidential cargo onboard
I will accept you for you if you accept me for me
I'll take you for who you are if you take me for everything
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