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I ****** me up
I've broken down
I feel some thing

Inside me now
I can't stand to think
Am I

A beast?
A monster?
At least I'm not

The least of us,
No, not
Any longer

A broken doll,
I don't serve
No master

I was the bottom of
The totem

I went and
Flipped the pole right over

Now I'm King of The Hill
You can call me Bobby

I got a thing for Laotion chicks
And I rip tide like tsunamis

Vance Joy now,
I'm bowing out the game

Can't stand to be around you,
Were you always this lame?
Breaking Bad
Autumn Inspired
Seamus IV Aug 22
Thinking with short breath, gripping my chest, sinking with stress?
Just to attest, Imagine putting stress to the test
Over pushing boundaries set with intent
Chasing leads, gaining lost time pursuing a lust with broken trust
Only to rise to the question
Can the duality of morals and ethics which define us..
Be overwritten?
Misconstrued needs for skeptics lost in line
Slowly assimilating breathless methods


Black rose petals spiraling to conclusion, Decomposing as if to forget this
Why don't I neglect this elusive euphoria defined in terms of confusion?
Split paths once veering in opposite directions begin running parallel
I know I'm here, but who's that there?
Ominous reflections veer back with eyes unfamiliar
A face with no definition grabs my wrist lurching me forward
Weightlessly ***** following a diverging direction with questioned intention.
Where are you taking me? (Silence)
Operating in two places at once, questioning who is the driver


There but ever increasingly distant, attempting to reach you
The sunrise rekindling the spark of yesterdays intuitions
Preserving eloquence like a flower in full bloom
Suddenly fades eerie in an instant, dwindling on gloomy restless expressions
Cloudy perception refracted by crystalline illusions
The evanescent cypress terpene, king of bliss
Flowing in the direction towards what has been calling it most
An icy chill enters my chest, a constant race to chase an endless quest
A ploy of acceptance with a cotton ball
Pieces of
our past.
Wondering how we will
them back
in the days
of the weeks,
the months
of the years ahead...

as you disguise
on benches,
in corners, alleys.
Hidden in woods,
of freeways.
Tents, cars
of strangers.
Filthy trap houses.
You disappear,
to find
comfort in
the only place
left to heal.

The Deep Depths of Sleep.

Oh how I
worry about
you my love.
You suffer so
for this journey  
you have embarked on...

Oh, how I
hurt for you,
yearn for you,
love for you
and cry for you.

Your pain
so deep
keeps you away,
to dwell in the
terrifying place that
the need to
Self implode..
Obliterate all ability to feel.

Even the
true sense of Belonging
Of being
Missing my precious daughter so...
Randy Johnson Jun 26
I've always said no to drugs but my friend didn't do the same.
When a person dies of an overdose, it's always a **** shame.
John learned the hard way that a man reaps what he sews.
Every time drugs were offered to him, I wish he had said no.
I'm not certain what he overdosed on, it may have been ****.
When my friend of forty years overdosed, he drew his last breath.
I recently read that **** damages the lungs, kidneys, liver, heart and brain.
John might have rejected **** if that was something he could've ascertained.
Years ago, I tried to convince him to get some help but my words always fell on deaf ears.
He was forty-eight but if he had said no to drugs, he could've lived for many more years.
Ashley Jun 14
I say I be doing fine but **** sometimes I miss those good old times
I’m selfish I’m mean I just need methamphetamine
But I’m fine
I’m fine I’m really trying to be fine
I just need a line
8ball and I’ll be fine
4 yrs sober and I’m fine
It’s just a thought of not being fine
But im fine
No way to breathe
No way to find myself
Out of this sorrow
of you

I hear rumors
Sleeping In laundry mats
Dumpsers next
to the river
At night
Under freeway passes

The **** owns you
Knowing you
are so vulnerable
Breaks my heart
Even more

I am isolated
in your aloneness
I am lost in
your lost-ness
I miss you deeply
Yet am afraid
Of all you
come with

How do I find solace
When there is none
When the
silver lining has
become tarnished

My Sparkle Girl
Gone Girl Gone
Even if I found you
You would deny me
You would deny
me because
I am the voice
of reason
That you run from

I am so very alone
in your aloneness
Methamphetamine addiction. Heartbreaking
You are gone,
yet everywhere
that I touch,
see, with my sensitive eyes
and heart.

You are gone,
Yet we never stop looking.
We know you're out there.
Each morning we call the
the jails.

You are gone.
Day after day
we hear nothing.
We wonder,
we hope,
we pray that you
are alive.
That no one has hurt you too badly through the night.
That you've not hurt yourself too much to come back from.

You are gone.
Yet the shadow of you is here.
It is everywhere.
Your shadow floats down from the
moon light,
and at night
covers such deep sadness
we know then that we miss you beyond the stars.

The You
that was You..
Losing an adult child to drugs is devastating beyond words. It hurts so bad.
Amanda Feb 23
Cravings for a hit
Hints of sin begin within
Winning bit by bit
Cravings are the worst
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