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Ryan Aug 2
Amphetamines in the dark.
Sitting here, heart pounding.
All bite and no bark.
My shame compounding.

I’ve been up for days.
Heart beating, chest thumping.
I navigate the haze.
My internal engine pumping.

Amphetamines in the dark.
I haven’t had this energy in years.
All started by a spark.
It will only end in tears.
Chaos Kidd Jul 9
Out here chasing dragons breath, all because you fell in love with ****. You won't have anything left after her theft.
    Leaving you with a ****** up misconception thats all part of her deception, did you really think you were an exception?
    Addiction is nothing but a contradiction are you ready for the eviction of your own jurisdiction?
    There's no using without it turning to abusing, even though its confusing I swear you'll start losing.
    Those lines may seem divine made of dope *** designs, until you realize your decline. Nobody's going to believe that you're fine.
     Remember when you'd cringe at the thought of a syringe, now in your addiction you're starting to binge.
    Did you ever think the drug thats so ****** viral would take you head first into a downward spiral?
    Crystal will make your mind distal, maybe even give you enough "courage" to pick up a pistol!
    Who knew a little blow would make you feel so low? The "high" is definitely a faux.
    It feels like the sin is buried deep within, even though you're extremely thin. Why the hell did you even begin?
    You say you're straight but you're declining at a fast rate, I swear it ain't ever too late!
    Feeling like you're stuck in a cave, hell maybe its your grave but I need you to be brave!
   It may seem like a cliche but I need you to pray, sobriety isn't something you delay!

•☆•Chaos_Kidd•☆•
Chaos Kidd Jul 9
They see me sinking and look the other way. I wonder, would they notice if I took my life today.

   This picture perfect mask I've  been trying to live behind has gotten so withered and worn over time.

   I know that I shouldn't love this sensation, because it's been constant annihilation. Did I mention it made me become some sort of an abomination?

      If you look at my life especially my past, I've always been known as the black sheep, the outcast. Once my eyes were glassed, my life began moving fast.

There's something amiss deep inside of my brain, it leads me to believe I can never abstain. Not with this poison inside of my vein, a darkness that continues to reign.
Jim Kirk Jan 2
Born my son of youth,
My pride shadowed you,
Our long talks sitting outside,
Your wisdom and learning astounded,

You followed my career to fly,
Your letters stroked my ego,
Returning in uniform,
So healthy and strong.

Life is random and chaos,
Tomorrow is a dice tossed against a wall,
Struggling up my drive,
Grasping a wounded leg,

You was a ghost decimated by ****,
My heart bled, my love insane,
You were weak, sick, you were meths *****,
To the VA and rehab I hoped,

But rules by elderly, tired, bored women closed the doors,
You detoxed, and cleaned up in your high school room,
Daily classes, and screening followed soon,

A wife,  two girls, rounded your life,
But **** called her *****,
And she had exclusivity of your soul,
Of your girls gone, likely a loss for evermore,

We opened our hearts and all we had,
To you, wife, and little daughters,
Once, twice, three times many more,
Our pain ebbed, but our love was true,

Lastly, my wife and I had highest of hopes,
Everything fell in place this time,
I prayed, cried, it’s been awhile,
Life is Random and Chaos,

We all fell this time, no energy anymore,
No hope, no faith, battered love I taste,
The emptiness I feel is to great, I put it in a box,
My son of youth, I can no longer shadow you,

Yet Chaos and Randomness is a two edged sword....

By James Kirk-Wiggins (c) January 2020, All rights reserved
The destruction to our essence is no greater than when we observe a child of our youth choosing an insurmountable path toward destruction and eventually......
chelle Nov 2019
There is a hole in my arm
Where the fire used to go
I dressed it in a bandage
can't believe I went so low
I ****** me up
I've broken down
I feel some thing

Inside me now
I can't stand to think
Am I

A beast?
A monster?
At least I'm not

The least of us,
No, not
Any longer

A broken doll,
I don't serve
No master

I was the bottom of
The totem
Pole

Till
I went and
Flipped the pole right over

Now I'm King of The Hill
You can call me Bobby

I got a thing for Laotion chicks
And I rip tide like tsunamis

Vance Joy now,
I'm bowing out the game

Can't stand to be around you,
Were you always this lame?
Breaking Bad
And
Autumn Inspired
Seamus IV Aug 2019
Thinking with short breath, gripping my chest, sinking with stress?
Just to attest, Imagine putting stress to the test
Over pushing boundaries set with intent
Chasing leads, gaining lost time pursuing a lust with broken trust
Only to rise to the question
Can the duality of morals and ethics which define us..
Be overwritten?
Misconstrued needs for skeptics lost in line
Slowly assimilating breathless methods

Hijacked

Black rose petals spiraling to conclusion, Decomposing as if to forget this
Why don't I neglect this elusive euphoria defined in terms of confusion?
Split paths once veering in opposite directions begin running parallel
I know I'm here, but who's that there?
Ominous reflections veer back with eyes unfamiliar
A face with no definition grabs my wrist lurching me forward
Weightlessly ***** following a diverging direction with questioned intention.
Where are you taking me? (Silence)
Operating in two places at once, questioning who is the driver

Hijacked

There but ever increasingly distant, attempting to reach you
The sunrise rekindling the spark of yesterdays intuitions
Preserving eloquence like a flower in full bloom
Suddenly fades eerie in an instant, dwindling on gloomy restless expressions
Cloudy perception refracted by crystalline illusions
The evanescent cypress terpene, king of bliss
Flowing in the direction towards what has been calling it most
An icy chill enters my chest, a constant race to chase an endless quest
A ploy of acceptance with a cotton ball
Pieces of
our past.
Wondering how we will
Patchwork
them back
together,
in the days
of the weeks,
the months
of the years ahead...

as you disguise
yourself,
on benches,
in corners, alleys.
Hidden in woods,
underpasses
of freeways.
Tents, cars
of strangers.
Filthy trap houses.
You disappear,
to find
comfort in
the only place
left to heal.

The Deep Depths of Sleep.

Oh how I
worry about
you my love.
You suffer so
for this journey  
you have embarked on...

Oh, how I
hurt for you,
yearn for you,
love for you
and cry for you.

Your pain
so deep
keeps you away,
to dwell in the
terrifying place that
encourages
the need to
Self implode..
Obliterate all ability to feel.

Even the
true sense of Belonging
Of being
unconditionally
loved.
Missing my precious daughter so...
Randy Johnson Jun 2019
I've always said no to drugs but my friend didn't do the same.
When a person dies of an overdose, it's always a **** shame.
John learned the hard way that a man reaps what he sews.
Every time drugs were offered to him, I wish he had said no.
I'm not certain what he overdosed on, it may have been ****.
When my friend of forty years overdosed, he drew his last breath.
I recently read that **** damages the lungs, kidneys, liver, heart and brain.
John might have rejected **** if that was something he could've ascertained.
Years ago, I tried to convince him to get some help but my words always fell on deaf ears.
He was forty-eight but if he had said no to drugs, he could've lived for many more years.
DEDICATED TO JOHN W. BROWN (1970-2019) WHO DIED ON JUNE 3, 2019.
Ashley Jun 2019
I say I be doing fine but **** sometimes I miss those good old times
I’m selfish I’m mean I just need methamphetamine
But I’m fine
I’m fine I’m really trying to be fine
I just need a line
8ball and I’ll be fine
4 yrs sober and I’m fine
It’s just a thought of not being fine
But im fine
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