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Zoe Mae Jul 23
Shimmering tin foil smokes in the light
Ashtrays overflow as the dead pace all night
Searching for lighters and peeking through screens
It's not a nightmare
It's a methhead's dream
You might be on ****
if you run over your own transmission
pushing your car as hard as possible
because Tik Tok by Kesha is playing.

You're definitely on ****
it afterwards you pull into a nearby parking lot
and decide to just shoot **** there
for the next few days.

You're not on **** anymore
when the business owner is fed up with you
and you're falling asleep talking to the police
who only find empty bags and tell you to leave.

The lines become blurred
when you're six months sober
and a psychosis has developed
to the point where you're hiding
behind your couch from the shadow
people with ****** rifles outside.
Mindy Belgard Mar 16
Still alive
But barely breathing
I searched but didnt find a meaning
My persistent heart wont stop its beating
I get high instead of sleeping
Finding veins to shoot some speed in
Countless hours ive spent tweaking
Im Just a ****** and a fiend
Playing victim
To a cycle so vicious
Hard to admit im the one who chose and picked this
Im on my own hit list
My lifes the perfect nightmare thats ever been scripted
my Memories play out in tragedies
Remembering saddens me
Ive been more stressed than any kid should ever be
And yet i never let them see
The Years spent living in denial
I want to cry but fake a smile
Something i learned as a child
They wont hurt me if i never let them in
I never learned how to get vulnerable
I just held it all in
Bottled up feelings
Never once expressing
How it feels inside my head
All alone no one knows me
Ive aways been a phony
Force feeding myself so im not too noticeably boney
I Cant cope unless im high
Needle full of dope until i die
My wills too weak to be freed
What was a want has now become a need
Im getting Paranoid as my track marks are getting harder to hide
My Blood thickens as it dries
Thomas W Case Jan 30
I was feeling
down
depressed
and dark.
I put
some
rocks in my
cup
to uplift my
spirits,
to climb
out of the hole.

I want to
run on
the clouds
and
touch the sun;
go 180 around
the third turn.
Feel nothing but
the wind;
go out like
Earnhardt Sr.
in
a blaze of
glory.
Last lap
last run.
jon Dec 2020
I cannot seem to think on my own.
People think for me and I feel alone.
But without them I would not be around.
I hear a voice in the background.
I say background but do I mean it?
I don't, its probably just another memory slip.
Wait, I do mean it.
But instead, it's all in my head.
My best friend is my bed.
I gotta get in the booth and get emotions recorded.

Everything is distorted.
Things start to move.
I become someone else.
A new person. A new identity.
New everything.  
The whole works. I wish i was dead.
They tell me it's in my head.
I'm gonna survive. I know it look like I'm being lazy.
I promise I'm trying, my head is crazy.
I know I'm not but they don't.
And I know they won't.
When episodes occur,
I just lay in bed,
Still staying in my head.
I do nothing but pick it back up.
Whether it be crystal or my double cup.
My person calls this
Type of cycle insanity.
I love her, my family, she is all I have.
Without the love,
I would be gone.
Without the love,
There would be no me.
I need her just as much
As she needs me.
Without the love,
I do not thrive.
Without the love,
I will not survive.
Without the love,
You can push and shove
And not get anywhere.
I'm so lost in my head,
I don't even know my own way out.
I only know the way to my bed.
Momma knows best as I lay my head to rest.
Chaos Kidd Dec 2020
As far as I can remember you’ve RAN my life,

From my father and mother and also Ex-wife,

We all have been your worthless slave,

Days we refused are the days we craved,

Desolation and destruction in your wake,

I’ve offered you my useless life to take,

As I fail to get my life on track,

I just shoot bigger loads of twack,

I’m as lost as the orphan boy in the woods,

I’m not remembered for doing much good,

Only wrongs and misplaced hate,

Had me wander into my fate,

I blame them all but not once me,

I blame them all one, two, and three,

So as I pointed out all their flaws,

I became immersed by your powerful jaws,

Your claws are sharp, long and pointy,

So where’s the right path can you please point me?

My direction is sporadic as my thoughts,

I knows there’s this one thing that I’ve been taught,

And that is never show weakness not in this game,

Or you may end up killed by what’s his name,

He burned you badly beyond repair,

Because you tread with little care,

I get that you were naïve,

But in my words you should believe,

I’ve been down this road my whole life through,

I beg that you won’t do these things that I do!,

I had a soul as my Fathers son,

And as my mothers youngest one,

I’ve watched these paths taken lightly,

The scenes I’ve seen aren’t all that sightly,

I’ve been young and as I grow old,

I started to learn to do as I’m told,

For if I hear those words nye,  

Soon I’ll be the one to die!,

Im so lost, alone, and misunderstood,

Sorrily the high I get just isn’t that good!,

Good enough I think inside,

But it could be better if only I tried,

Tears and blood oh I have tasted,

But its nothing to the years I've seemingly wasted!
Written on June 14, 2020 by my dear friend Jordan Ernest. This poem hit too close to home and is to beautifully real to not share with the rest of you.
Ryan Aug 2020
Amphetamines in the dark.
Sitting here, heart pounding.
All bite and no bark.
My shame compounding.

I’ve been up for days.
Heart beating, chest thumping.
I navigate the haze.
My internal engine pumping.

Amphetamines in the dark.
I haven’t had this energy in years.
All started by a spark.
It will only end in tears.
Jim Kirk Jan 2020
Born my son of youth,
My pride shadowed you,
Our long talks sitting outside,
Your wisdom and learning astounded,

You followed my career to fly,
Your letters stroked my ego,
Returning in uniform,
So healthy and strong.

Life is random and chaos,
Tomorrow is a dice tossed against a wall,
Struggling up my drive,
Grasping a wounded leg,

You was a ghost decimated by ****,
My heart bled, my love insane,
You were weak, sick, you were meths *****,
To the VA and rehab I hoped,

But rules by elderly, tired, bored women closed the doors,
You detoxed, and cleaned up in your high school room,
Daily classes, and screening followed soon,

A wife,  two girls, rounded your life,
But **** called her *****,
And she had exclusivity of your soul,
Of your girls gone, likely a loss for evermore,

We opened our hearts and all we had,
To you, wife, and little daughters,
Once, twice, three times many more,
Our pain ebbed, but our love was true,

Lastly, my wife and I had highest of hopes,
Everything fell in place this time,
I prayed, cried, it’s been awhile,
Life is Random and Chaos,

We all fell this time, no energy anymore,
No hope, no faith, battered love I taste,
The emptiness I feel is to great, I put it in a box,
My son of youth, I can no longer shadow you,

Yet Chaos and Randomness is a two edged sword....

By James Kirk-Wiggins (c) January 2020, All rights reserved
The destruction to our essence is no greater than when we observe a child of our youth choosing an insurmountable path toward destruction and eventually......
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