It is our mad fate
Unlived and unexiled
Like a prophet
Cry out in the dark
Defeated in exile
In front of
An aged mirror
We press forward
In the presence
Of the absolute
Wind. Walk outside.
You went again today.
Wood. Familiar landscape.
Blue. You're infatuated by the colour
For some reason or other.
Sad really. Sometimes blue takes over
Your mind so much you can't sleep.
Not that you sleep anyway.
Hilarious really. Two in the morning.
Why are you this way nowadays?
Did something happen? Must have
Because that would explain it all.
Oh that feels good.
Might do it again.
Nothing stopping you
From doing it again
Go on treat yourself.
There's nothing else to do.
Why are you crying now?
Did something happen?
You've been so blue recently.
You're always so blue.
Why are you always blue?
This ones odd, I wrote it in what's almost a trance. It's pretty though so I published it.
When we are apart at night;
I find us behind the closed curtains of my eyelids;
Against the side of my skull where you have me pushed.
Back brushes bone
As I lie on foreign sheets
My fingers lace the curls in your hair
As yours curl my throat and finger the lace
That slips from my skin to the floor.
Your are not between these four walls
and never have treaded the space that they hold
Yet still your scent sends sparks skittering
as they spill up and over these spinal slopes
Our mouths meet with welcome;
And tongues intertwine in time to touch
Teasing - my teeth find a grip upon your lips;
And pull, to lead, in my mind,
As we move to the bed of the brain.
Alone at night I am flushed hot;
By the infernal cells that conjure you here.
With your skin against mine;
Above and beneath me;
We move in time to the rythm of blood,
And waltz through valves from chamber-
To chamber as I am reminded;
The thought of you is the thread that should never be pulled;
But always is;
And I did and I do;
Call me your most impatient play-thing
As each neuron leads to the next
Forming circuits that race me to you.
Each image-sensation floods this vessel till I am sunk, weakly overcome,
By the mix of memories that meet and merge,
Warm like the tides soaked in sunlight.
I swear by the power of the moon:
With every wave I am pulled an inch closer to you.
Missing you across countries
When my eyes are open
I can see this intricate, layered, sculpture in all its coloured and textured glory. I can see the colours of light, the shades of darkness. But sometimes vision is overwhelming. Sometimes I need to turn that sense off, to focus on the rest.
When my eyes are closed
I can feel more intensely, I can feel sounds as if they originate from the depths of my being. Bubbling up and oozing out of my perceived edges, dissolving them in the quest to be heard. If I listen long enough, eventually I become the sound, all sound, the wind, the insects, vehicles, children playing, the washing machine. It all comes out of the same silence that is at my very core.
I can see further with my eyes closed.
There is a blood
that is beating in my skull
that is gluing my veins
and is pulsing in some silence,
but my hands are moving,
but my breaths are dripping
out and watching me
without reason or thought,
and my tongue is ticking too,
howling from me a language
I have yet to understand,
let alone voice,
and in the end,
an urgency is returning me
as a snapped over twist,
leaving me without purchase
and bleaching my words stark,
so I wonder:
what's in my bones
that's making me move?
A very important bird hit my mind with its beak,
With a message from the long lost leaves,
Shattered memories travelled to a far mountain peak.
You'll have to work hard to gather them so wear your greaves
I have come here as a delicate cue,
For your evanescent self to be soon in sight,
Don't be conquered and affright.
Towards the veritable direction, the bird flew.
Fill the hollow crevice of my existence
With light, show me a warmer way
Stop numbness from taking over
I am slipping further0 into dismay.
Down the senseless pit of despair
My direction is out of control
Darkness paralyzes my mind
Strangling thoughts that crawl and roll
Constricting my body until I give up
I kick the air but cannot land a blow
The empty space will never stop resisting
The sound of my own scream has become my foe.
The endless void swallows my voice
Here the tears I cry fall forever
The lies I have told mean nothing now
I knew my will was always meant to sever.
Faced with nothingness all around
This is my life; a ******* hole
It's slowly shoving me outwards
Little by little, pain taking over my soul.
Chaos has reality gripped
In a tight but unsure grasp
Confusing the mass of color
And motion contained in its clasp
Bullied by the tidal wave of isolation
Head above water though it is strong
Giving up the ability to move
Surviving by the current floating me along.
My consciousness is traveling lethargically
I no longer feel my torso or limbs
Attempt to wiggle a finger but it won't budge
It takes all my strength to speak and part dry lips.
This is where existence ceases
Where time's beginning meets its end
An unending loop of monotonous emotions displayed
A breif instant in which Eternity life does suspend
This started as how I felt when I was crippled by heartache and doubt but switched lanes kinda. It's random I suppose. But it sounds pretty.
I am not alone in my mind
Home to the unknown
When I will run into something
Or Some creature.
Of my fragile thoughts
Feeding off of my insecurities
So I try to have none
Strive towards confidence like holy water
Dousing my consciousness in hope that I might convince them to leave
Or maybe I'm just trying to convince myself
And maybe the leech is self doubt.
The first line came from a journal one of my classmates presented, and it inspired me to write this.
False leaders only want to control us
They create lies and tell us we are born impure and imperfect
never realizing we were created to be perfect
with a mind so susceptible to manipulation
we believe and believe, but all paths lead to the same door
I've opened it, we all hold the key to end this war