I've been hiding baby
Oh for so long
Been afraid I'd turn into the morning fog
I'm still shaking when I'm standing right next to you
You call my name and time just stops
You make sure to hold my hand in a dark room
I'm holding back from you
Because once you get me there is no turning back
In this game of two
heartbreaker and the fool.
I'm trying to be a bad man
Literally a bad man, man
Dating and hurting other girls for fun
Just to forget my life's wonder woman
I got my hair dyed tonight
It's my first time I tried
Wanting to look bad outside
But still have a good heart inside
I want to be a bad man to forget you
Play with every girl like uncle drew
Do crazy ****ts to myself and others too
I'm a bad man now, so F.U. Wooh!
Rhymes in my Mind
I am waiting for this daydream
To fizzle out, die
For him to finally prove
This relationship is just a lie.
That everyone else's words are right
This ice is too thin
I must be crazy if I trust
And waste time with him.
I will only end up getting hurt
I know what's at stake
I'm telling you from the start
It is a chance I'm willing to take.
I might be a fool but I am
Ready for what turmoil may come
I am steeling my heart for the moment
When everything good comes undone.
I do not need your "wisdom"
Your bias and bitter advice
If he breaks me to pieces
You are not the ones who'll pay the price.
You do not understand my world
And to you I will not explain
I'm going to leave it at this
My happiness is worth the risk of pain.
Written a long time ago about a short relationship. He was a good guy though.
a reality seduced by danger is
what made her want him more
the passion between them was electric
the way their bodies fit together like
puzzle pieces in the night
she’s addicted to the thrill
and to the evil angel who
wants her to be his forever
He was the tough guy,
The bad boy, the person
You never, ever crossed.
He was the owner of the old hotrod, the
House you always avoided
Because it was too loud and smelly.
He was the guy who never
Shaved his beard, kept at least
Three motorcycles in his garage, and
Had a different girlfriend every month.
He was the tough guy.
But then his dad took ill,
And suddenly he didn’t care
About his hotrod anymore.
His buddies were forgotten,
His workshop untouched,
As his calloused hands held
His father’s weak and shaky ones.
The graveside service was
A week later, and I remember
Him kneeling over his father’s coffin,
Head bowed in prayer,
Trying to stay calm, but
Tears flew down his cheeks with
An intensity that no one had
Seen before, nor since.
And that’s when I learned that
Tough guys aren’t always tough.
Wednesday, May 17th, 2017
Ok so here we are
You at your house, me at mine
Sending pictures back and forth
But not those pictures, like the ones I used to send,
Which made me feel less like me and more like all of those girls.
We are sending pictures with our faces and sentences that make me smile because I love your sense of humour.
Ok so the things you do
The things you do, well…
It’s hard to say exactly how I feel about those things
I don’t agree with all of them
Like the smoking you do
To be honest it makes me jealous,
Jealous of that cigarette because it’s the one that gets to touch your lips instead of me
Your lips, hmmm im not sure I want those lips on mine
Because the smell of smoke makes me sick
But then I look at your lips and it makes me rethink.
Ok so the music you listen to,
The music you listen to tells a story
Unlike the ones which are just boring
Your favourite song the one you told me about,
The other night when we were sending those pictures with our faces and the sentences that made me laugh
The song was about taking your life
I wondered if it was a sign that you were in a fight with life
I don’t say anything but you know how I struggled with that problem
Now im sitting here thinking of all the things I said,
Wondering if it’s really worth the risk
So I make a list in my head and starts it with
Liking someone even though you shouldnt
I love repressed boys, depressed boys, not very well dressed boys
tall boys, cool boys, acting like a fool boys
raised christian gone atheistic, nihilistic boys
boys that hate themselves more than I could ever love them,
with a sense of grandeur that would rival narssius himself boys
cold eyed boys that keep knives under their sleeves and I can see the cuts on their fingertips boys
"I could slit your throat right now without a second thought," boys
"I don't love anyone but I love you," boys
I love getting on my knees for that sort of boy
because I'm colder than any of you boys
and I can make you scream in pain and wish that god was listening, boy
big talking boys with an even bigger ego and a whole lot of swagger
I'll make you close that big mouth, boy
He was a bad boy
because he didn’t care.
He saw a girl as nothing but a toy
and inhaled cigarette smoke like air.
His cap turned the wrong way
he was ready for battle.
His eyes fastened upon his next prey,
in the dark streets of Seattle.
Swallowing cute lilac pills
he survived the day.
He didn’t pay the bills
but who cares anyway?
The bad boy had after many years
stopped caring about his health.
Once he took one too many beers
lost his money and chose to resort to stealth.
His parents didn’t suspect a thing,
nor did the ones calling themselves friends.
To them, he was still their king
and they let him borrow their pens.
With a pencil in one hand
and ***** in the other.
Hoping someone would understand,
he bled out the thoughts he hadn’t even dared tell his brother.
- everyone has a back-story -