You thought you had me Wrapped around your finger- You tried to control me- Isolate me- Use me- Manipluate me- You thought I would do everything for you- You thought I couldn’t leave- I have one question- How well did that turn out?
Lipstick stains all over your mouth mixed with drawn blood as your tongue crashed violently around my insides As you traveled you left behind your mark as if I were something to be discovered Some the size of Ireland Others the size of Australia When the sunlight reflects on our window, I am reminded that it is my time to be vulnerable Rubbing orange peels on my aching body as if there were a bad spirit that needed to be warded off Your nose would scrunch up, but even still your amber eyes seemed ready to sap away my soul Leaving behind a husk of a body My straw hair falling off each limb just like the leaves gathered on the forest floor I longed to crush them under my sole The marks on my body seem to have started to absorb the yellow from your eyes I can’t seem to get rid of you The avocado toast in the mornings only seem to fill me up temporarily before they are all expelled Oh how quickly avocados turn ugly! My nostrils are filling with an emptiness that is cold and engulfing My head is a boat I will sail away even if I’m tattered The raging storm lurks behind me and threatens to end us both But I know behind those dark clouds there will be an array of colors waiting for my happy ending to be painted
it’s confusing to me and maybe this is where the grooming, psychological abusing comes from. i’m used and discarded, tossed into the recycling bin until i’m reused again. and again. every time making me a little weaker than the time before. a little less able to refuse. a little easier to bend, to break. the lack of permanency in the place i long for, the place in which i never got to stay for long, only to be hauled away and returned upon further notice.