god flew through my coffee this morning;
an intellectual crow entered my apartment,
and it guzzled a sip of the holy brew
me? i didn't take notice, just took notes

a blind writer who seeks the extraordinary,
distracted by a strayed quest for himself
left eye red, the right one black, wolfishly
a tribe of suicidals shattered my eye sight

they were dancing in trance
they were singing in kid's voices:

"we forgotten who we are; our skins crumbling
we don't want to live inside your body; no!
we won't be your voice anymore; we be leaving

golemland is our destination, shelter of letters"
then, the tribe of suicidals left, depriving me of words

when no one sleeps, the crowd dances
shining rubies, decorated with lurid lights
when no one's there for you, death strikes
girlie's heads are spinning and feeling empty

in the times of hunger and destruction
nobody sees it coming, nobody cares
like faith no more, but the other way around
your spirit is trippin' as you are feeling frozen

numb love catches your attention, you're sighing
alarming moments when you are entering the club
techno sounds, jarring like sirens, ultimate daring
your head is spinning and you're feeling golden

glossy-white creatures arise from the underground
lights are cutting the darkness of manhattan's mansion
take some, get some, burn some, baby love me
waterfalls are splashing, the ocean, the dashing

orange smoke fills the air, like mist
goons and traitors occupy all tables
a small bar, downtown, silent quarter
whole ones and racks, bagged, airtight

the zippers of the bottega shine golden
24 k, 24/7, creatures of the night who
are made of struggle, gore and greed
deception and loyalty: the brotherhood

hour of the thieves, year of white marble
350 million a year, a neeeedy enterprise
sick profit, blank sheets floating loosely
shark collar and tattoos, loaded *******

sounds of the past in an air breeze, secretly
old butch is swallowing a paper message
leave no traces, mind dem ears and eyes
wild roses and escalades, the night glows

don't think you could
beat the street without
me

it's madov's bossy laughter
and his vossy
attitude

i don't know if
you know what i mean:
solitude

but that's fine my brother
but that's fine my sister

without writing
everything is fist fighting
without fist fighting
everything is writing

i need me a

new language
new lady
thousand babies

and i'll found a tribe
you never heard of it'll
be called

tizzop

i live inside a bubble, fly with me into this bubble
life used to be a hustle, but it ain't anymore
gotta make summin' or gotta take summin'
come fly with me, my cubies are shining whitely

i reside on a planet which is full of whole ones
re'in up for all the phantoms, their fandoms
art nouveau balcony, bluely shimmering rooms,
you enter the hallway like dreams, embers in ya eyes

brother, i am all-night like owls, heavily religious
by the end of the day, i will be ******* the devil
we call that fly night, for everyone staying on it
luridly white marbles, everybody trippin', trippin'

our bubble is like frippin: frippin freely
and i'm skating through the garden, jeezy
today's my birthday: 500 peace of cake
my heart's racing, amg, i'll be waiting in the snow

fly with me, into this bubble, bubble
i wanna be higher than ever, higher
with me, there is no struggle, struggle
i'll take you with me, bubble, bubble, bubble

i'm praying, while i'm driving, and when 'm praying
i am thinking and i talk myself into a coma
raising in a 911, our bubble, bubble
stay with me inside that bubble, bubble

i am trustworthiy, since i been dealing with souls
but sometimes i freak out and jump out of my window
cause i read my palm lines and learned, when i'll die
so i grew myself a plumage, like birds, for our bubble

don't come lookin' for me, i'll be waiting in the snow
or under miami's sunset, nuns will be sinning
dem lyrics are for dogz, dem lyrics are for sinners
i want to come right now, just like a coup d'etat

cubies filled with magic, come into my bubble
the crowd is filling the castle and stars
are raining down, you close your eyes
you close your eyes, escaping into the night

fly with me, into this bubble, bubble
i wanna be higher than ever, higher
with me, there is no struggle, struggle
i'll take you with me, bubble, bubble, bubble

the clarity of water
your disconcerted eyes
the peaceful traveller
your shade

the conscience of this page
a hustler who will die
the uplifted ego
death's arrival

exhaustion and ruin
uncle
father
the blink in the statue's frozen glimpse

a nightly graveyard-screech
the outerworld's dog
water, sand and concrete
divided oceans

the uplifted you
feelings of guilt
the repentance at the day of the feast:
it is not me

i was brought up to
read books and play the
violin

i am from the heart of the
world you
know

a place among thieves
a place among business aspirations
a place among the pines

actually like a
postcard however
someday a clan of

gory
icy
determined

men came into town
men who took up
residence

between pines and a business park
buildings were built by the
men of the clan:

golden paint
giant offices
porsches
lambos
maybachs

gory
icy
determined

men had come into town
yelling in strange terms:

brate
hajde
jebi se

unexpected assassinations
executions of local mobsters
****** threats on judges

jebi se!
brate hajde

old methods
new turf

a war began
clan against mob
murderer against murderer
man against man

this place where i
lived
this place among
pines

turned into a war zone
year 2019

corners packed with hordes
willing to die
armed with

machetes
pump actions
rocket launchers
tanks

this place where i
lived
this place among
pines

turned into a war zone
year 2019

discipline keeps the mind focussed
a sick laughing in the background
rivers of knowledge, psychology

i got your back if you got mine
ancestors stole my land, my brain
existence revolves around dollars

you don't know the voices in my head
they are trying to control me, kid
how can they spot my very location?

i was born in a dump, my father a drunk
my momma died during my birth; my fault?
let me blow up all the golden buildings

my mind be the place where i make plans
people told me that "slang" was "horrible"
nobody has to like that, you feel me?

my skin color is black and white, you know?
don't let them get into my head, **** voices
can i walk the streets freely? who trusts me?

golden opportunities all over the place
don't ask a nameless what his name is
he will never tell you but shoot someone

it's simply not wise, we want justice
when your heart is turning ice cold
hour of the *******, hour of the sucker

the bassline trembles, i'm shivering
females are entering my safe house
armed with prejudices and dishonor

i'm already dead, words chocked me
too much poetry, nowhere to go
**** this end, i will come back!

dear idol i
want to be like you

dear idol i
want to be you

scratched your name into my arm
your face is my tattoo
your tattoo is my face

been listening a decade
to your lyrics i'm all

'bout it
wit it

re-in up
bossed up
fetish for dough

baby i be yours
take me as a gift

my game tizzop

"hell yeah" changes into...






"heaven yeah"

FOR...







US ARMY

god created the sun
god created rain
rain and sun slept together
a rainbow evolved

every being has a double, somewhen
i'm half gipsy and jewish
bleedin' blueish
wise man told me lies about trueness

smell the fragrance of ghosts
relax, feel, love yourself
i will be praying for you
in rainbows

if ya down wit dis listen
to this gayrap swallow it
like a fat jaypack it is anti-macho
against crews like humpty-packo

pitch-black baby ain't no rooster
will **** wit our ****-booster
we are too star for your underground
flows are miles-high and they glitter

it is lipstick-**** we're spitting poison
and your kid sound vanishes
look your raps are always "almost"
you'll be killed by our host

like the impaler this guy vlad
your midlife-crisis is cute
eminem is now called ruth
the new rapcolor is purple

glossily white attitude, princess and rainbow goon
how i'm feeling you, don't have to lie, last night
we were blasting off, flying, watching our city
when i woke up, you were laughing, you are lifestyle

i'm your drug, like beat and melody, djset and rapz
we are totally white like the meetings of escada
24/7 way of life, the pulse of days flashing past
look, my name is tizzop, look, how i'm splashing

this waterfall is soaking you, powerful pressure
jason is stuck to the mirrors, drive-bys and k.o.
100.000, 00 $, spent on a party night
you can start hating me, you better go skating

i am excessively ray ban and i love to fill mouths
enuff talking, let's go, for sure, 3:05 am
mercedes maybach and chauffeur, life is easy
i deal with twelve souls, soon to be trippled

all the kids are trippin', pearly white nights like frippin
i am writing on snowwhite cliffs, ocean full of glowing fishs
i got the magical pillow, you may fall in love with me
always hitting the center, mansions for your longing

wings of birds were stolen by the gods, centuries ago
an earth's day lasts for 86, 400.002 seconds
children are roaming in the mind of these lines
they are counting, playfully and without feelings

days come and go, they float through our lives
i wrote about the stages of dreams and dreamt of an *******
the ruins of old poems are silver, blue and red
remains of a day's thoughts, decoded and clear, similarly

it is not wise to count seconds while you are breathing
it is not wise to count on people while they are leaving
it is strange to use "wise" in order to refer to cleverness
people of color may feel excluded by our languages

in german, "white" is called "weiß" and that sounds like "wise"
explain to me the origins of such a word, i demand it
before the river will have swallowed me; i demand an answer
poems come, poems go, leave a trace, stain – and a change

fools are flodding the streets in order to have a five o'clock tea
proudly, they are talking about their old heroes, bearded conquerors
these guys nevah really wanted to dig strangaz, dey killed 'em.
they killed unknown people, they stabbed my dreams

they murdered ancestors because they were used to murdering
they invented words without speaking but grinning
power is an invisible instrument that consists of hierarchies
power is what we see and oversee, power is the origin of wars

wars are the origin of despair; and that is nothing new
wars, though, may be invisible and silent, just in the mind
what is a war, does a war need bombs, guns and soldiers?
wars occur everywhere, daily, within 86, 400.002 seconds

the length of a day is measured in numbers; they are just inventions
numbers are man-made, animals orient on the sun and the moon
humans celebrate planets and write poems about them
we all will surive as long as we keep writing and tolerate each other

**** the river, **** the river of oblivion
past lives are drifting beneath its surface
they are singing a hymn, in kids voices
this hymn was written by the thoughts of ancestors

a human being has more than 60.000 thoughts a day
the psychiatrist who told me that is chinese
i like her appearance, she's my type, sweetly dark
the memory of my poems is implanted into her brain

when the night becomes day, the sun swallows every word
its rays burn down all the letters of the past
and the past is nothing but the last word written
i want to take a bath in the ideal of love

this ideal is tattooed on a person special to me
i have to think of what alejandro said in sicario
a movie is never a movie but a collection of memories
no story will ever be written without experience

the observations of birds make up for a pool of poems
if these creatures could write, yet they sing their stories
every soul which existed on earth, comes back to it
sooner or later, gökhan, reyka, ama and alexander

i would have liked to meet my uncle but he died of an overdose
a man who hated him gave him poison and alex injected it
as a child, i would often look at his picture:
eyes wide open, wildly glowing, as if he was in a waking dream

take a close look at daniel blue: thievin'
tommy's wallet floats thru his garden
camouflage of a secretive spirit, bricks
and daniel does it all for loads of blow

milly meantime desperate since
her square drawings grow into strife
but that's how she acts out, love ya girl
yayo, tho, remains the white magic...

catch my thoughts, old friend, come over
yesterday's enemy, now platin mutants
lay down, relax, breathe deeply, 16 seconds
eagerly governing are kingpins & eagles

feel me in the midst of purple mist
among dusk, dawn, and dusk, 108 hours
insomnia, trance, return, greed, insights
months vanish like hours, but still here

you get me? this is much appreciated
this is a highly desired lifestyle, kiddo
especially when the mouth ironly hurts
and you spot the shadows of memories

on a staircase in frankfurt, german financial centre.

a habesha lady in company of two brothers; one of them, a rastafarian, is carrying a beautiful young girl in his arms.

the habesha lady grabs into the girl's ***** blonde hair, saying: "her hair looks so good."

by the sound of her voice, i sense clearly that she has been on strong drugs excessively.

what will be her fate?
and, more importantly, was this girl her daughter?

on the route of longing, i met you
don't know where you are now; where are you?
my hands are covered with silver sweat
and i am looking for a soul mate

how long will we overlook each other?
at which day will we unite like halves
that become an entirely new creature?
in the moment of sweet oblivion...

the streets are overfilled with ***** beings
are you one of them? are we two of them?
i'm looking for unreal love, you know
just for an idea, maybe for a mate

the difference is located in our greed
the golden lion with the twinkling mane
was roaring me into the land of dreams
is this a correct sentence in english?

can you help me to find you? how?
it's unbearable to be lonely
isolation is a grey, howling wolf
an animal, too close to me, go away

of longing and greed is this poem
its first part revolved about drugs
the second part is about you, babe
if i could only spot you in the masses

will we arrive together at the beach?
you know, in this old hut, close to the waves
it's always warm there, baby, every day
a nice place for kids; an arrival's place

i trust in you and you love me
forever protected, the umbrella
maybe i'm scared, here and there
i, then, close my eyes and speak to you

you, then, answer me and calm me
we don't need any poetry, God
it's you and me, it's you and me...
YOUR SON, Mikey, Tizzop, Max

protect my mom and my dad,
my brothers and sisters
Elias, Christoph, Katharina, Chris,
Alin and Valerie, Andreas, Dennis

Nicholas, Eden, Beza, Milly, Janet,
Albin, Richard, Robin, Davis, Gisi
and their LOVED ONES. FOREVER.

i do thank you from the bottom of
my heart and my soul.
forever yours, Mikey, Tizzop, Max

want a new addiction, want to fall victim
explain to me: why do dem females have similar names?
i was blacklisted and then i got promoted

all my poems were burned by me
and i destroyed all my novels, dramas and stories
blog entries, essays and term paperz...

and every time i closed my eyes, i stopped existing
the creature of the night, ******* of da city
fundamental, livin' under mental conditionz
chanukka and christmaz, gimme me three minutez:

imma be, stay and i'll have claimed my spot in it
no matter where ya at, anthony and antwone,
italo-africanz, meet dem boyz, cry, run, but die
no room for da shy, da law of the chosen few

8000 family memberz, nationwide and global
and don't they dare to fukk around -- we alwayz local

will you protect our
heritage?

will you tell mom the
truth about us?

would you die for
me when they shoot at
us again?

last time nine
bullets hit me as i hustled
to save
tizzop

i got a friend
on hello poetry

i like her poetry
she a good person:

interested
light-hearted
and a fighter

keep it up girl
and stay a writer


by the way: tizzop says hello!

mom is waving from a train
bro has been playing x-box
sis will soon be back from her moon-date
dad is carrying the ashes of his lover

everybody does something  
**** me until i hate you no' more

in a void of air and space
music floats and keeps us safe
you need to listen

fo real and fo shizzle: listen
it's 3:45 everybody bossed up
dough fetish fantasies

the suzuki in a jakuzzi
keeps my mind busy
(keeps my mind busy)

how can you enter the next stage?
it's fo real like tizzops cage
the barrel of a golden gauge

look into my face: a rat race
never ending being fast paced
today is my last day but i will

remain

ten minutes ago
i was talking to a woman
whose background i'm
aware of

this woman was pretty and she looked
at me with ****** interest

however: i moved my left arm in
a way that is related to my background as
a fatherless boy

rejection in her eyes the consequence

BUT:

i will never stop to move my arms as i learned moving them
–– precisely this way –– in my childhood

nobody –– male female animal or object –– is able to change this:
i do not need anybody trying.

feel me. that's how i am.

self-acceptance. self-love. courage.

my past is filled with oedipal encounters:
many men i needed to rival

today i unintentionally travelled (really?)
today i involuntarily travelled (no way)
today i travelled into my past:

memories of many men that i needed to rival.
due to my fatherless childhood i didn't have
a man to compete against; that's why i JUMPED at countless chances to do so. none of these conflicts happened by chance.

i picked strangers to compete against.
but then there was this day. a certain day. a secret night.

since then, i have gradually and later on gently overcome my need to compete.

i was bewildered today because i competed against another man. why?

out of the dark, i developed an affection for a woman younger than me; a brief moment of ****** interest. the competitor involved walked her home after a meeting the three of us had been together.

while they were strolling down the street, i followed them. i wanted to see what they were doing. i wanted to observe how they observed each other's attraction.

did so for a couple of minutes; they didn't take notice of me; or they were playing dead while their mouths were overfilled with squishing sounds of saliva.

and then ––  as promptly as old patterns of rivalry had emerged ––
i lost my affection for this young woman.

affection left my soul like a spirit leaves a dead body. the affection vanished into thin air since it couldn't find a shelter in my soul. so this wired affection went on a quest for another creature.

i didn't say goodbye. just wrote something down.

gökhan is turkish
it means: ruler of heaven

first time i met you:
september 3rd 1993
first day at school

we looked at each other
we wanted to sit together
we became friends

how sturdy you were
people always thought you
were much older
but me?

i had a babyface
hated my babyface
wanted to look older due to my
fatherless childhood
always wanted to be my own dad
wouldn't work though

so gökhan became my daddy
father figure and protector
i looked up to you my man

ruler of heaven

six years later you died of cancer
i rushed to the hospital
countryside germany

when entering your room
aware of your death
i saw your stiff body

and you were smiling
i will never forget that
gökhan

an african-turk growing
up in germany 1990s
called gökhan tatchouop
lost the battle against cancer
sixteen years old

and he really died with a smile
because he was a good man
who did the right thing

as i get older year by year
i could be gökhan's dad by now

you're with me

time was talking to me in a bubble of dreams
asked me if i was ready for a new experience
since time doesn't speak to you normally, i stuttered:
ye-yes, i'm ready, bu-but where will it take me?

well, young man, time said, it will take you to
a country that has never been discovered
this country is made of islands, thousands of them
nobody lives there, except orange birds and fish

but forget all the islands, they are lifeless, excluding one:
home to a man who is called golem the violinist
he consists of letters and is mute, he can not speak a word
how will i talk to golem then? i asked inquisitively

time didn't answer my question; it just smiled gently
i blinked and afterwards, i arrived on the island
swarms of orange birds were roaming the air
silver waves were surging against my naked feet

was i really dreaming? i pinched myself and it hurt
i was not dreaming because i could feel the pain
suddenly, i could hear a violin, slowly played
i turned around and saw golem, his eyes closed

golem was huge, athletic and coated in tattoos
the entire body was covered with the alphabet
golem's head was nodding to the melody of the music
puzzled, i asked him which song he was performing

he didn't answer; i had forgotten that he was mute
i asked again, he put the violin aside, devoted mien
golem raised his index finger and placed it on a letter
it was an "s", curiously, i followed his finger, as he continued

i finally read the words "sunshine adagio in d minor"
but at this stage of my life, i was just listening, passively
today, i depend on music to write, on orchestral sounds
"sunshine adagio in d minor" was played by the golem

he presented me the grace and strength of the violin
i could never visit this island again; never in my life
golem enchanted me so heavily, my memory is erased
i can't remember the way to his island anymore

it is not on any map, nowhere, but i kept something:
golem introduced me to breathtaking music, heaven yeah!
and the violin has been inspiring me since then
sunshine, adagio in d minor: i do admire you, song

i thank you golem for your gift and for your time
maybe you'll read this one day and tell me the way back
back to your island, back to the birthplace of muse
i love you brother, you are like kin, all yours, mikey

winter holidays and you become snow
between glaciers and silver towers
among apes, wizards and goons
you become snow in the winter

as you turn into what you dread
as you turn into this being
a viking, werewolf, you name it
may the games begin, you may die

beneath the surface of your dreams
beneath red heavens and families
in times of hunger, you stay focussed
you become snow in the winter

as you turn into another, an: other
snow is flooding the news flash
sinners, brothers and sisters
burning sandstorms, playful twisters

elijah's path is covered with thorns
roses **** the innocent and they cry
wild roses turn into winter snow
raise your head, watchin' them grow

clocks, the same time, worldwide
remember the oaths of the old ones
remember them praying in the snow

...and turn into this being

brate be
seven feet
balkan handz

yugo betrugo
atm tear it off
toni da serb
rade belgrade

brate be seven feet
balkan dropkick
es ist optik
es ist kopffick

we so yibbish
we so yibbish
diz is fibbish
gimme widdish

diz be the last day
of yous ridiculous stay
on this world
last day of ya stay

gimme your girl
gimme da cash
para be stammel
du hammel ik fick dich

he a sturdy kidic
aber keine wichtig!

come over and watch
gimme some cash
i'll cut ya head off
yous trash
ain't no madov
ya
know the code bro

inspire me baby
shorty now a sporty
nach dieser feier

gimme some raki
my pantz be khaki
benz like stasi you
know the code joe

gimme gimme gimme
bibi bibi bibi

ain't no real like
the copy of a copy
du opfer ich schneide
deinen kopf ab
eingeweide
quill'n
you gotz to chill

we so yibbish
we so yibbish
diz is fibbish
gimme widdish

jacket originally stolen
cevape and börek
para and babas
we don't care yeah

life be quick
touch my d##k
rub my d##k
life too quick

energy months
mothman *****
michael myers' titts
hyper years

feel me like an o.g.
you know the code brate
wenn ich deine fresse schlage

yugo betrugo
ebonics we got this
yugo betrugo
brate in die fresse pate

we so yibbish
we so yibbish
diz is fibbish
gimme widdish

ain't nothing new
check the views
just one fu##in fan
will burn ya jam

hip hop colors
flip flop mamas
beach feelingz
we need ringz:

MASSIVE

we need chainz:

CUBAN LINK NECKLACE 1 KG CLASSIC

last minutes of trust
in a poem made of dust
you made me hate me

feel the real injection daily
everything seems to poke
you turned into a joke

everything seems to shine
twinkle and rhyme
feel the real injection

this verse is for my protection
this verse is killing you: action!
lamps out of broken teeth

brother breaks his brother's knee
brother stabs his brother's stomach
feel the real injection

everything is for protection
turning choirboys into warriors
brother against brother

everything is an attraction
brother smashes brother's face in
brother against brother face it:

brother against brother

In the dark luster of the last arrival
Wrapped in the oblivion of our fathers
Surrounded by false promises
They hemmed the tracks of life

Waiting for the train to return
The train was delayed and didn't come
A swarm of sparrows flying above us
Whistling a song about summer

Spread the light; be the lighthouse!
Shine thoroughly within oblivion
Shine! Shine as bright as a lighthouse
Lead the light through the valley's gorges

I do need your shine urgently
To forget about oblivion
Shine! Shine as strong as a message
Come into my embrace at the tracks

i am threatened by someone:
every day

in my head
behind my eyes
behind my flesh
in the land of my soul there lives a dictator

to whom i listened far too long
this dictator wants to **** me
fully and entirely

it may sound contradictory:
i do not hate him since
he is weak and overfilled with doubts

his shouts are coming from my
childhood; he looks similar as i looked
when i was four years old.
(only similar, uuuuuh yeeah)

the child-like dictator is disguised in a dress of childly needs.
his spirit is not spiritual.
he is only child-like:
a copy.

and his insidious siren calls:
now they sound like the voice
of a lonely man.

believe me, child-like dictator:
i do tolerate you as a part of myself.

be certain, dictator:
i won't follow your ideas, needs and orders.

you may stay.
i walk freely.

How the things get further away
Disappearing in the haze of a day
Undressed and bare naked
Trash made of freedom's desires

The vanishing of things remains
I threw up the yesterday
Cause yesterday served it's time
There is no movement in things

Present me a kind of a nightly dance
Move between the clouds
In the veil of everything imaginable
To dissolve with me at dawn

Today's soldiers are very young children
Fighting battles for accolades
Exchanging sweet freedom against things
Giving in to the opinion of strangers

How all the things fade in sheen
Among **** dreams and fear
We watch it or we look away
That's a new repetition

been living in a rehab
fifth day
telling myself: don't relapse


STAY

righteousness
care
siblings

mom
dad
son
wife

eden

1+1 equals 2

pa + pa equals:






papa

flakes in the kitchen, flakes in the kitchen
my fate is holy like religion, old traditions:
live life greedily, follow your ambitions
without the stacks, i got an itching

thousand racks, volume of a bible
the day is black, that is my lifestyle
don't offer me gizmos, i know the skid row
above the earth, you see an airglow

above my head, you watch my hair glow
snow male machiny, breathing airflow
phantom with a whisk, never stop-and-frisk
my birthmark, no risk, twenty yumys in the carpark

when no one sleeps, the crowd dances
i'll be hanging with the focus, grabbin' chances
fountain flavour, the mountain and the savior
brash, blue bunnies burning all my moneys

you can't go back to dem buildings
let it be, hashtag smorky, snakes
from the face of the heavens it's
a quiet view, this place feels like home

you can't go back there, tribulations
you know the mentality of cockroaches
you know their game and you know mine
you're standing on your own, decide

who could they possibly ask to fight?
energy, loaded brain, muscle flex
bullet holes, wild roses and benzes  
a quiet view, this place feels like home

who could possibly burn the struggle down?
in the voice of the enemy, you hear yourself
too many will fall, too many will collapse
you're standing on your own, my friend

is








not perceptable inside a shopping mall.

a lioness above
clouds chilling
in freezing iceblue fog
quite willing

to attack and to shock
earth to **** and disturb
to swallow and gobble
each life fully and fast

today, sir, is the day to say thank you
and my way to do so, ermh --
is to write you a poem
i don't know about your past but your

knowledge of mine is vast
you knew me better than my parents
and you spotted the real me during our therapy never said my "father" that he

was proud of me -- but you did, you revealed in me the true kid because you have the gift to lead people to the place where their truth is; most people join the rat race, but you always kept the same pace and you

made it to erase my shame, healing people is what you're here for, reliable and faithful, and regardless of any writer's fame: YOU HAVE A NAME... an inner flame of kindness glows in your soul, you released me from my

blindness, and you helped me dealing with my tormenter: cole, i never felt that you played a role, i sensed you are whole, may god bless your four daughters, and i wished YOU had been my father, but thats fine: cause you

became a father figure, and soon i figured that your goodness makes you richer than a person owning millions, i do thank you a billion times for being
a mirror who is speaking, at our first session i

shivered, but hid it, you opened me, and noted nothing down, you just listened and saved me from drowning
each letter is for you, each word proves my gratitude how can you have this attitude? how do you do this?

im not idealizing, yet, you're my idol, cause you taught me bout my anger, that as a child, i never had a man as a rival, i had lost my destination and you were my arrival

Fakhri Khalik, you were my arrival.
You stopped my denial.
You are a huge part of my survival.

You are my arrival, I am your disciple.

Forever Yours.

Max

manager demanded: write
for all of 'em

conscience claimed: write

yesterday time
stopped passing by
yesterday i
floated above the
hudson river

grand mansions
polished shores
self-storages

swamps
vultures
scavengers

the pillage started when
scavengers pillaged
prey

don't get me wrong you
get me?

hey daddy i
have been trying for so...
long

please may i talk to
you?

forgive me to disturb you i
know you're a genius
as well as a soldier

may i?

three husbands
three wifes

don't try to find 'em as
they will have found you
long before nighttime

somewhen in-between-time
yeah baby i know it's fighttime

but don't try to opppose your
destiny as you've been watched
by satellites / surveillance cams /
your friends and your aunts

they're not against you
yet none of 'em is gonna thank you
for nothin' you feel me?

believe it or don't: by the end of the
year YOU gonna say: thank you

welcome to the
you-place

how disturbingly insidious you are.
you must hate me, don't you?
i mean who are you?!

you're playing tricks on me like crazy. that's for certain. and if anything is for certain in our drug-plagued country, then it is this certainty: that you ― the child-like dictator ― want to rule over me.

let me explain to the reader why i am saying so:

an hour ago, i was taking my son to kindergarten. closely to the chest my little daughter eden; sleeping in a baby carrier.

after i had dropped off my son, ideas for new poems were going through my head.

i eventually decided to write a poem on drugs, written from the perspective of various mind-altering substances.

well. fine.

i got home. my wife took eden out from the baby carrier. i was ready to write. only one cigarette first. smoking on the balcony. don't need my kids to inhale toxical fog. and don't need to know them about my smoking habit.

suddenly, out of the blue (no: out of the dark) ―

out of the dark, you made my heart beating faster. my heart was racing. my heart was banging against my chest.
secretly, you creeped through the area between skin and soul.
seconds later, you made it somehow to reach my mind.

inside my head, you were not saying anything. i don't hear voices and i'm not crazy. (that's the second certainty i am gaining from writing this poem.)

you're not a talker, child-like dictator. you're a quiet addict, depressed and scared to speak with others. because you do fear people, closeness and love. you fear them so much that you want to do drugs in order to feel something else than fear. and to numb how afraid of love you are.

a poor creature you are. but your attempt to ****** me quietly today: it failed.

and you know why? because i have friends. and many of these friends have been struggling with their own dictatorships. feel me.

i won't let you make my decisions.
gonna stay clean.

for me. for my family.

adios amigo. don't pressure me like you do. try to love me as i love you.

try to love.
try to.
try.

mikey

that's why i am trying to adopt the good
and an endeavor should be treated with dedication

dear love i need you
fill my soul
you feel me...