Can you blame me? Yea I was in and out the bed, goin to and from men, looking for affection.

You can love another child that's not yours, give them hugs, buy them gifts, all the while treating my like shit, like I'm some kid off the streets. Or some so so child you gotta babysit?

I'm sorry for the things I've done, but this wouldn't have happened, if you hadn't did what you done.

You gave me all I wanted in the world for a minute, but then I mess up, own up, and you dismiss me like 'forget it'? Not even a third chance, you brushed me off like dirt on your pants.

You expect me to strong, but you don't answer when I call, and you get angry when someone talks to you about me, and then put me at fault, when really your the one that made the push that ultimately led to my fall.

You told me you'd always be there, that you'd love me through it all, but clearly all you care about is that woman you call your wife, she's just temporary,at anytime she could drop out your life.

But me? I'm permanent. You can take that to the bank, but daddy why I gotta ask; for me do you have so much hate?
Chill Nov 2017
That is how I feel
To forgive has left me without strength
That child with all the love to give is all grown up
Like a full grown tree I don’t need your watering
My roots go down real deep
In Christ I found solace stability and love
Love craved for from you
Strong trees don’t usually confess but I wasn’t always strong
I didn’t understand
I wish I  never knew you
That I could cook up your goodness and intended love if you’d had the opportunity
But you weren’t dead,dad
You were simply absent
And me
I was simply fatherless

Your could have been a better dad

Or better dead
BrownChild Oct 2017
I called out to you.
I whispered it in the dark
I looked everywhere.
but you weren't there..
I never had a dad like I wanted...
I know I won't get as angry I want to be,
And I'll regret me,
Because I'm never able to do it;
She always changes something,
Somehow it always gets better for her,
But it just gets worse for me.
I just become more guilty,
Even only by listening.

I feel like I can never really express my feelings,
Yet I still seem to do it too much,
Then I still fall.
So many things are happening,
This always repeats;
It has horrible timing.
If ignorance is a good thing,
Why is it so hard to actually
Keep it?

And I keep picturing loads of the same things.
When I'm not sure what I feel,
Maybe I hide from it.
I peak and when I see
I can no longer believe
So I just wait to weep.
I've no clue what to say,
Without any more delay,
I'll race through the page,
Give it all a way
In factual content:
I'll probably seem fine.
But it's not that way at all.
Poetic T Aug 2017
Where is the twinkle
the one who shots across
             my vision,
my star....

I look and see a starless void.

You were meant to guide me,
but you are vacant like the sky.
Alexa Aug 2017
My biological "father" is currently in jail. I cut him out of my life.

My mother raised me. I'm glad she's in my life.

My grandfather who I call my father raised me but died when I was 5. I'm angry he's not in my life.

What I'm saying here is that I lost my "father" to drugs and alcohol. But I lost my father due to cancer.
It hurts sometimes
It screams inside
Is this pain really mine?
It clenches together in my insides
Making me dream, wishing for a better time.
I'll do just fine
That's always my line.
If something's not there
You're supposed to bring yourself to it,
But what can I seek
when whatever I need
ceases to exist out of my mind?
They say my reckless head helps me,
I tell myself I can use it to encourage myself,
But still it hurts me all the same.
You see, I use it to give what I haven't got
It's of no use because it kills with a slightly stronger dose.

I can try to forget
It can't last long,
Nothing's supposed to be pain free.
However there's other things
I just can't be bothered to feel,
And if I almost do I just stop:
Because they're not the most important;
They don't come back day by day,
Just to join me in the night.
I never had a "daddy" to sing a lullaby.
For years I didn't want one,
Half convinced still I wasn't missing out,
Yet now it's starting to hurt
Then I realise I'll never find my soulmate.
The percentage isn't in my favour,
How could it ever be?
How do you find your one person
out of 7.5 billion?
If I can't have a father,
how could I get an eternal partner?
Lacking strengthens my need,
For that perfect guy in my head to love me.
He's not here though,
And he never will be,
Tough as it is, I'll never be away from him.
Lack creates need,
tries to make up for things:
This is how it feels when you can't fill either gap.

Spaces are filled by made up places.
Spaces are areas without meaning,
Places are of meaning or association, unempty.
The space is one half of a non-existing f a m i l y.
My place is where I can have a future boyfriend made of better things.
My reckless head
Is supposed to give hope and safety,
Shelter me from reality.
My reckless head
Don't they know it breaks me,
To dream of things
That can never be?

Spaces are there.
Places are put there.
Anyone else there?
Is there a difference that you see?
All my minor sorrows seem the same to me.
Jacob Resendez Aug 2016
I won't be anything to you, you
Who planted the seed in confusion
Never knew I would be a product
A spawn of accident I was
Swimming in mystery, living without thought
You became a man of higher proportions
Seven feet tall in a blurry photograph
In my dreams you stood unnecessarily
Before I knew myself, I barely knew you
Giving you a second chance
Might have been the scariest thing to him
There is no fixing what was never there
No hating what I never loved
I'm stuck with confusion as well
Who am I supposed to call Father?
Shyne AM Aug 2015
I wish I had a father
Maybe that would have made me a better lover
Don’t they say that children from broken families
These children are the ones with the tragedies

I wish I knew what it feels like
to be daddy’s little girl
To be protected
in a shell just like a beautiful white pearl

I have so many questions
I also have a confession

Out of all the things in the world
One can pick from
I wish he had picked me  
I wish he could tell me stories about my skinned knees

I don’t know how to ride a bicycle
Isn’t that one of the first things you learn in a life cycle?
He didn’t help me get off the training wheels

I cant let people love me
I don’t know much
but I do know
How messed up that sounds to be
Brittny S Jun 2015
Fatherless Child
Brittny Shaffer

Life hurts
Emotions hidden deep down in the dirt
Your not sure which direction to go in
There's to much confusion, you have no time because your life is thin
Trying to walk right but your on the path of sin
No feelings of your own being self centered just within
I always had a vision in mind
When I grow up I want to be just like my father
Hoping that he become the next African American doctor
My dream was that he'd become something powerful and he showed he cared
But my deepest fear was that he'd never be there
But who am I to say
Everything does not go right
Everything is not fair
Because with the power of God only thing you have to do is decree and declare
I wish my father would've realized
He had a purpose that he was not placed on this earth to get chastised
When i look out of the window
There is something that I see
A father not caring about his child he didn't believe
What was it about me that you didn't want to receive
Why was it that your hopes was always in the streets
Did you ever look back to say I have a child who is in need
Or was your focus on woman who didn't put fourth  good deeds
But DAD you loved them over me
Strangers came first they was people that you pleased
Your family was a meaning fairytale
It was make belief
I paint the picture I have an image
You took life as a game and not as a privilege
You was in your own world
You had your own village
Not even concerned
The devil had you he was in control
Had you in the streets doing a daily role
Dope dealing
Got you locked up
and you said that it was wrong
But never thought about me you left me at home on my own
No food, no shelter, no comfort all alone
Your game was just a cattle to kill it was so strong
Before time your life was over it was gone
I remember the time I saw you on your death bed about to die
You held your hand out and said ill make it don't drop a tear don't cry
But you never realized the pain I went through because of your lies
The hurt I carried with me because you never tried
I lived 16 years no father a long ride
A father concerned only about him full of pride
Where was the love that needed to be supplied
Where was the hope that I put in to be prescribed
But people
Im here to share a message with all of the fathers
We as people need to rise up and set a standard as a generation
Become more of a father hood for kids all around the nation.
Its never to late stop with the procrastination
ALL aboard join the father hood station
We shouldn't be built of frustration
Fathers should be a role model to daughters and sons to say I strive for determination
Im tired of seeing children suffer due to separation
Fight for what you love, fight for your children
Having them apart of your life should never be a hesitation
They should be # 1! Make that your expectation
Looking for a father who never look back to get me
But on his way out said baby please forgive me
Father why
You only want me in your life because your about to die
Now I should walk out of the room and  just say GOODBYE
When i needed you DADDY COME HOME DADDY WHERE ARE YOU DADDY FATHER never got a reply
We as children shouldn't have to wonder if our fathers could be a rely
Free at last free at last thank GOD almighty were free at last
But where are our fathers
No new outfits, no new shoes
  Fathers are Found as killers now on the news
I just wanted you in my life
Me as your daughter why couldn't you make that sacrifice
FATHERS your daughters need you
FATHERS your sons need you
They need that fatherly advice
If I could get one wish
It would be for my father to hug me and give me that one big kiss
My fathers coming back he didn't forget about me
For all the fathers out there who abandon there children
FIX IT NOW let that be your fulfillment
We are all meant to shine as most of us do
But we as children don't deserve to be hurt and go through
SO change take action make your children happy and experience something NEW
Im out make sure you be about that positive life

Be Blessed
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