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i got really high this morning
and it feels like I cheated on recovery
it feels like I ripped my sobriety from my cold dead high hands
I'm listening to lil peep again
and I feel like I'm actually going bad again
I didn't care for my broken tender wounds yesterday
and I broke down into a beautiful pile of sadness
and there i layed
for a miserable, deadly, slow 5 hours until i
fell into a deep sleep
and i woke up this morning and cheated on recovery
recovery is a giant load of ****
Mikaela L Apr 22
I am that lousy shirt you always keep in  your closet,

The colorful sneakers that don't match with any outfit,

I am out of place, yes, I simply shouldn't be there.

I don't belong there, just as that classy hat doesn't belong on your head.

I'm talking to you, Johnny, Take it off, or the tricky wind will take it away.

You'll never see it again. I already warned you.
#na
Mikey Kania Dec 2019
speaking for millions of
people who were and who have been suffering from addiction:

i do have to thank the two of you.
the tradition of the twelve steps had not existed before you created and established them.

you have a shelter in my
mind and in my soul.

God bless you.
R.I.P. Bill and Bob
In the first time in human history, addicted people benefit from a method that helps them to stay clean and sober. Effectively. Find out more below:

www.aa.org
www.na.org
www.ca.org

Simply meet them.
In person, online or via phone.

Anonymously and for free.
They are unprejudiced.

TODAY IS A GOOD DAY
Mikey Kania Dec 2019
www.aa.org
www.na.org
www.ca.org

You don't have to ask for help. Not anyone.
Simply meet them.
In person, online or via phone.

Anonymously and for free.
They are unprejudiced.
What are you waiting for?
Mikey Kania Dec 2019
the ward physician said
to an addict: YOU are going to relapse
anyhow

the chief resident told
me: if you want to have  
the numbness in your
right shin examined
you are free to leave

my reaction was a
calm one

no resentment because
i found something
inside the rehab
in the addict's stories

in their human faces
i found a healing secret
GET HELP, CARING, UNPREJUDICED AND FOR FREE:
www.aa.org
www.ca.org
www.na.org

"...most substance-addicted people are also
addicted to thinking, meaning they have a
compulsive and unhealthy relationship with
their own thinking."
-- David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest
R.I.P. David. God bless you.
Mikey Kania Dec 2019
been living in a rehab
fifth day
telling myself: don't relapse


STAY
GET HELP, CARING, UNPREJUDICED AND FOR FREE:

www.aa.org
www.ca.org
www.na.org

“...most substance-addicted people are also addicted to thinking, meaning they have a compulsive and unhealthy relationship with their own thinking.”
― David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest
R.I.P. David. God bless you.
Eve Nov 2019
Hindi ka man sakin
Ikaw parin ang mamahalin
Kahit ito'y masakit para sakin
Ito'y tatanggapin

Dahil ikaw lang ang para sakin

Meron mang kayo
At wala mang tayo
Ikaw parin ang mahal ko
Kahit sya ang piliin mo

Ano man ang sabihin
Ikaw parin
Ang pipiliin

Madali lang mag pag katanga
Basta ikaw ang dahilan
Hindi mag dadalawang isip na gawin
Basta ikaw ang nag sabi

Pero sana lang ay mapansin
Mapansin kung ano ang halaga ko
Para malaman kung ano nga ba tayo
Kasi hindi kuna alam ang gagawin ko
Pag sinabihan mo akong "Tama na"

Ayaw kung tumigil
Kasi alam kung walang pipigil
Seline Mui May 2019
I stick my self in the microwave trapped in a sealed bag and set the time for twenty-four hours, seven days a week.
I count the seconds and wait to explode
But I don’t, instead I shrink with the bag and we shrivel up melting into one. The bag and me,
Cursing the desperation to get out becomes too real. I can’t deal with life on life’s terms. “**** God!”, I say to myself. I am the stick and he is the drum. All about me, I’m in control.
Obsessed with resentment, I hug my body and wait to die. The burning fumes fill my eyes, my ears and my nose. There is blood all over my body. Fourth degree burn seeps into my brain through my skull. I am sinking but
Was me who tightened the noose around my neck ; was me to throw the anchor to the bottom of lava’s abyss. For one split second a spark surges into my soul causing me feel alive and free. Small holes form through the bag growing at light speed. The toxic lava shooting out worry fear, and every loss until the bag is parched.
Still sealed in I claw at the holes with what’s left of my hand. Vanishing around me, they all seal up. In two seconds dark will suffocate me. No longer can I fight to stay alive.
I close my eyes and prepare to die
But when I open them I’m not inside anymore
Instead I’m outside the microwave back into my own body, flaws and all. I felt a powerful spirit pull me back to life just for today.
I will never forget the beat of the drum sound my name. I am the drum, God is the stick.
We beat as one. Together we walk the path, no longer just me,
Because God and I are meant to be.
Today in recovery .
aL Jan 2019
Nakaw lang ang tingin
Ngunit ang nakita ay higit
Kahit oras ay bitin
Paghangang nakuha sa saglit

Sa kanyang labing kanais nais
Ang kanyang namumutlang pisngi
Kanyang tangkad na hindi labis
Ang kanyang bihirang ngiti

Sa sandaling ikaw ay nasilayan
Mata ko ay ayaw kang pagbitiwan
Siguro nga ay hindi ka pangkaraniwan
Sa ngayo'y tanging magagawa, ika'y titigan
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