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This *****
Artificially awake
apples 20 years have passed
oranges i want a do over
manhole cover coins
savage glares across the 4 wheeled property lines
young moms not giving a ****, that's alright
kiss of sun hidden from
anxious from blue oak , it's ridges pluming in the dappled twist
and floundering wave, wiggling wave of oak leaves green as frogs.
ponytail suzy, *** from galaxy sci-fi
i brought up a cup while it was empty there,
but so distracted by my own trembling effort,
every hair a furry hood, every fatty fixture of my face a rebounding basset hound
tennis shoes up to my neck, dumb naked in my greenery,
already old somehow, the window closing,
the permanency of parks, like a stilletto in a limosine,
green fixture of my white blinded attempt to see tomorrow,
tourist .
thoughts of Sylvia
, my gaping awe at the feminine,
and its green garden.

Hunger Jul 2021
Someone slap me in the face,
So I can forget that I am a disgrace,
Someone **** my pain,
So I can stop going insane,
Someone fix the voices inside,
So I can finally hide,
They scream at me and say I am wrong,
To listen to music be happy or sing a song,
All the noise hurts as my soul weighs me down,
I fell as though the sound is the water in which I drown,
Could I ever be happy again in any way,
If not yesterday perhaps today,
Id gladly give heart soul and mind,
To finally have joy to stand behind,
But inside I cry,
I feel like I should die,
I hold my breathe waiting to see black,
And let it out wishing the air was crack,
Cause id rather be anyone but me,
Cause them maybe I could be free,
But if must stay me,
Can someone help distract me from myself...
I am not getting better, it all just hurts worse, nothing is helping, I need someone to love, and no one is there, I just feel dead and empty, I pray and pray and nothing happens, I do my best and nothing changes, the weight, the pain, the lack of emotion after all, I hate being in pain but the numbness that follows is even worse...
Unpolished Ink Apr 2021
I will never understand
exactly when did a finger on the hand of time uncurl
and wave me on from being a girl
Getting older
moon man Dec 2020
they want to see you crumble like an old abandoned building
they wait for you to stop climbing
they pray that you will ultimately fail
however, they fear your gaze
for you have a fire in your eyes
and that fire is hot enough to burn away any doubt
I've re-watched the original rocky movies and the two creed spin off's and it's got me so pumped to work out that i wrote a motivational poem to myself...and of course, whoever needs to feel like the Italian stallion
levi eden r Nov 2020
four in the morning, the trees are breathing and i'm in sync.
took me forever to start liking the side of my face but i'm doing it.
the glow and the light that i see in my peripheral is a sign, it all feels like signs and this path i'm paving is mine.
the sun hasn't come up but i smell the morning air, it's a mix of grass and nostalgia and safety.
it's my mom waking me and my sisters up to go to my grandmas,
it's church camp,
it's garage sales and littlest pet shop and monster high and bratz.
took me forever to start just Being and Living but i'm doing it.
i've always liked the silence before we begin again, before we're born again.
John Darnielle Nov 2020
It's not the barnacles that do all the damage
Figure this out too late
It's not the destination that makes the difference
It's the freight

Everything becomes a blur from six feet away
Get used to this
Every card ever turned over remains in play
Get used to this

Not every wave is a tidal wave
Not every wave is a tidal wave

It's not the mutiny written down in the diary
It's the manifest
Forgotten cargo in obsolete measurements
Anybody's guess

Even the proud, even the very proud
Probably die on their knees
Twin masts out on the open seas
Mistaken for trees

Not every wave is a tidal wave
Not every wave is a tidal wave
this song may or may not be titled after the Magic: the Gathering card
John Darnielle Nov 2020
We sail we sleep we scry by land
We dig a pit beneath the sand
A place to keep the sun at bay
At dark we rise and find our way

With our faithful companion by our side
Put it all on the table and let it ride
Close to the drop-off on our long slide

The land we left becomes a dream
The ghosts we knew, they rise like steam
They leave some trails against the sky
All but invisible to the eye

With our faithful companion by our side
Put it all on the table and let it ride
Close to the drop-off on our long slide

Call off the search party,
Let mourners wail by the shore

Point to the spot where our ship disappeared
We're not coming home any more

Should you succeed and breach the coast
You tell your friends you've seen a ghost
You tell them all there's nothing here worth dying for
You leave it there

With our faithful companion by our side
Put it all on the table and let it ride
Close to the drop-off on our long slide
song from the new album, Getting into Knives
Felicity Smoak Aug 2020
I yearn for the girl I used to be.

The girl who used to care about her studies.
The girl who used to write poetry.
The girl who used to sing confidently.
The girl who used to paint vividly.
The girl who used to love freely.
The girl who used to care deeply.

I do not care about my studies (as much).
I do not write poetry (as much).
I do not sing confidently (as much).
I do not paint vividly (as much).
I do not love freely (as much).
I do not care deeply (as much).

The intensity has passed on,
to younger generations,
to newer beings,
to fresh souls,
with more to live for,
with more to care for,
and with more to prepare for,
than I.

For I am old,
and I will continue to do the things I love,
but not with the passion,
but not with the love,
but not with the care,
but not with the confidence,
but not with the freedom,
that I once had.

Is this what aging feels like?
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