how disturbingly insidious you are.
you must hate me, don't you?
i mean who are you?!
you're playing tricks on me like crazy. that's for certain. and if anything is for certain in our drug-plagued country, then it is this certainty: that you ― the child-like dictator ― want to rule over me.
let me explain to the reader why i am saying so:
an hour ago, i was taking my son to kindergarten. closely to the chest my little daughter eden; sleeping in a baby carrier.
after i had dropped off my son, ideas for new poems were going through my head.
i eventually decided to write a poem on drugs, written from the perspective of various mind-altering substances.
i got home. my wife took eden out from the baby carrier. i was ready to write. only one cigarette first. smoking on the balcony. don't need my kids to inhale toxical fog. and don't need to know them about my smoking habit.
suddenly, out of the blue (no: out of the dark) ―
out of the dark, you made my heart beating faster. my heart was racing. my heart was banging against my chest.
secretly, you creeped through the area between skin and soul.
seconds later, you made it somehow to reach my mind.
inside my head, you were not saying anything. i don't hear voices and i'm not crazy. (that's the second certainty i am gaining from writing this poem.)
you're not a talker, child-like dictator. you're a quiet addict, depressed and scared to speak with others. because you do fear people, closeness and love. you fear them so much that you want to do drugs in order to feel something else than fear. and to numb how afraid of love you are.
a poor creature you are. but your attempt to ****** me quietly today: it failed.
and you know why? because i have friends. and many of these friends have been struggling with their own dictatorships. feel me.
i won't let you make my decisions.
gonna stay clean.
for me. for my family.
adios amigo. don't pressure me like you do. try to love me as i love you.
try to love.
That's it. Ah. And some music for you guys on hellopoetry. Cause today is a good day:
YouTube: "OFFICIAL Somewhere over the Rainbow - Israel "IZ" Kamakawiwoʻole"
God bless you, IZ. And all of you poets and readers on hellopoetry.
I am grateful to Eliot for establishing such a beautiful place for many, many people from all over the world.
One more note: help for every addict: Unprejudiced and for free.
What are you waiting for? Asking for help means to be strong.