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xavier thomas May 23
I dedicated my life
to stay by your side
respect our relationship & to always love you right,
keeping a vow to never cross any boundary line.
But you showed a different side.
An unexpected twist that brought tears to my eyes.
Your energy changed.
From positive to negative, this affection & demeanor wasn’t the same.
Anytime my friends called to check on me or hangout, you yell.
Cursing out my name as if I brought shame into our relationship.

Now I can’t breathe...

I can’t breathe because I’m traumatized,
I’m traumatized because I can’t socialize,
I can’t socialize because I ghosted my friends for you so now I hide in fear

You stole a peace of my mind to the point where I can’t even recognize who I am anymore.
Which causes me to feel less of a “Woman” inside.

But no more!
Times have changed

Somewhere along the road I found strength.
Gain the courage to move on & think about what’s best for me
rather than sink back into your arms.
See, I've learned that you never had power...
You were a simple weak man
trying to devour a Queen’s castle
rather control your own **** tower
like the lowlife peasant you are.

But now that you are gone,
it is safe to say
I am better without you in every way.
So stay your bch a off of my phone.
There’s nothing here for you, please leave me alone.
Your words mean nothin', so please hold your tongue &
don’t worry about the next man I f-k with
nor I am lovin'.
Just know it will never again be you,
you’re no longer a discussion
highly irrelevant
good riddance , peace out boo boo.
--What a Life --
Ellie Harris Apr 28
What do I stand for?
Such a simple question,
sometimes incessant in your mind.
Gnawing at your psyche
asking, demanding, screaming.

stand for?

I know...
****, I didn't know what I was trying to do with this, but I hope you enjoy it!
Dead on demand wil be the name of my band.
When I'm reborn and my friends are too.
A different universe where our dreams come true.
Not like in here.
Where every phone call is bad news that you don't want to hear.

We will be free because we went through hell in here first.
We know not to be too ecstatic cause we'd known the thirst.
When everything goes right we know what every type of wrong feels like.
Everything will be completely turned upside down and ruled by music and magic.
Love is rather ecstatic.

In here it's dark when I wake and all the people are separated.
In their own space dealing with their own pain.
Dead on demand is something that could never really be honorated.
***, it's gone on too long! Learning from every disaster but disaster will always remain!

We will be free!
Dead on demand flying to the colourful sea.
Reborn with your friend.
Dead on demand will be the name of my band!
It will never be like it is in here.
Where every phone call is bad news that you don't want to hear.

We will be free because we went through hell in here first.
We know not to be too ecstatic cause we'd known the thirst.
When everything goes right we know what every type of wrong feels like.
Everything will be completely turned upside down and ruled by music and magic.

Love is rather ecstatic.
Love is rather right.
Love is a feeling like you never felt before.
Love is rather ecstatic.
Love is better than magic!
A Mar 30
I just feel so small and everything else is so huge and it keeps piling up on me, smothering me, until all I can see and breath is this wall of musts and responsibility and endless tasks and emotions that won't stop pressing up in my throat and I can't cry, I just don't take the time to do it, everything else is too demanding that I can't even do that, and I don't remember anymore how to relax my shoulder or unclench my jaw and I just can't see any pause ahead, no oasis of breathing deeply again in the near future, no space for just me to be.
A Mar 8
To all the boys who have ruthlessly clinged themselves upon me, forcing me to make room for them, demanding me to fit into their dreams of me, expecting me to perform, wanting me to take them in.

To all the boys who have made me change for them, rushed my development, taking me out into the wilderness, so far away that I no longer could find my way back home.

To all of you who have shaped me into who I am today, leaving me less naive, so careful of others' feelings after learning to put theirs ahead of my own.

To all of you who have left me shining from all the love, more in touch with my feelings and my gut, a bit harder but beautiful in the adore from your eyes.

To all of you - I am done. I have nothing left to say to you, I've already thought it all. But to myself - I made it home. Bruised, scared and scarred but I made it. And even though it isn't what it used to be, I'm still back and the next time I go, it will be when I want to go and not because of a stupid boy.
Jaxey Nov 2019
You watch helpless
as i burn
and demand to know
who did it
but how can I say

It was you
who lit the match
i cant
Tizzop Nov 2019
manager demanded: write
for all of 'em

conscience claimed: write

yesterday time
stopped passing by
yesterday i
floated above the
hudson river

grand mansions
polished shores


the pillage started when
scavengers pillaged

don't get me wrong you
get me?
Swasti Jain Oct 2019
What do i seek?
What more do I ask for?
What is it that's left?
To feel, to say, to listen and to bear.

To give is to take,
To trust is to wait,
To attach is to not depend
And to love is to not demand.
The only equations I understand.

But why is it
That I deviate
And I'm unable to take a stand?

But why is it
That my weakness
Makes you my need beforehand?

But why is it
That I want the mountains
And give in to the islands?

But why is it
That I always need time
And it slips away like sand?

But why is it
That I want to build a house
And still need my empty land?

But why is it
That I want to rewrite stories
And not give a second chance?
My eyes hurt whenever I see what they have in their hands
It seems the treasures they have glow more than mine
If I could take what they have maybe I won't whine or demand
For my mother told me a boy should never be envious in life

As I was getting taller my resentment grew stronger and louder,
"I want to have what they want! They have the cleanest of luxury"
I was never raised to grasp rubies so I begrudge men with power
Whenever I want something they refused, so I grew up with envy

Now my hands can afford diamonds like everybody else
the satisfaction that I felt was all I yearned for these years
Looking back to where accessories were considered wealth
Senseless for me to think that not having earthly desires is what I fear

Now if ever I pass by an alley and a kid looks at me with jealousy
Three words to change his look, "Here's a candy"
So he could see that happiness shines more than jewelry
To the kids who were not given anything when they were young
you know what it feels like
Her child was downed
Downed to the downed land
His wings were completely destroyed
The hunger animal approached

She screamed, "Help my juvenile!
He was so little
He can't face that awful

His wings were damaged
Oh! My God help him
She looked wide

The birds could not rejoin
They knew who would join
They escaped as the rain

Fallen wide of the kind land
In spite the kind should demand
The mother knew there is no gain

Except pray to his God
As she knew the wild could
Snap him without any tick

So she closed her eyes
Flew wide, wide
While her tears ascended

As the flow of anger and trembled
Water as the man was deliberated
As wild
every one has hope. when that hope is evaporated, man could be fall and lost his aim.
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