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I toss and turn, lost,
Holding to darkness
as it were my comfort.

I shut close my eyes
as if sleep had me
in its grasp yet
I do not rest.

These mornings I am sober but
out of my mind, for I feel an old craving

to change what I am.
Stumble through,
Hesitate upon
a question:

Whether to quit?
Thomas Harvey Oct 19
On a train bound for Kentucky Bourbon
Sat a preacher, a ******, and a business man
The ****** on his way to see the sand
The preacher prepares for his next sermon

The young ****** approached the man in the suit
He said this may sound crazy, but you look just like my dad
The man asked him to take a seat and talk about his roots
Young ****** told his story, he wound up in many places he believed were good, but ended up bad

As the night progressed the two shard a coherent bond
While in the back the preacher continued praying
Hours later the ****** woke up to the business man, who was unable to respond
They soon arrived to the town and it began to pour down raining

The preacher walked past the business man and the ****** said "father aren't you going to bless this man"
The preacher took a step back as if the ****** had lost his mind
The ****** still confused as to why the preacher wanted to leave the man behind
The preacher said "Son, I'm not sure how to tell you this, but no one else was in the van"

The ****** saw the sign Sunnyside Rehabilitation Center and he knew the preacher was never a preacher, and the business man was never in the van
Here ye, Here ye
Somebody please hear me
My psych is drowning in these dark surroundings

I'm crying out for help
The state of my soul has not yet been felt
I need a way out
I am crying out loud

I cannot pull myself from this Dark place
I feel stuck in space
If I stay here it'll be the end of me
So I pray for somebody to hear me

I'm surrounded by people
but I dont hear a sound
I'm in a daze staring at the clouds
Crying lord I still have faith
but I need you to take this pain away
Rehab

Carpe Diem! Seize The Day!
Another serenity prayer to say
In a gloomy dark room I exist
I am sick of this monotonous ****!

Day in and day out
Another lesson sought out
Too much said to comprehend
Another sigh I'd like to lend

Here I sit among my peers
Feels like I've been here for years
We sit in a room filled to max capacity
I commend the counselors for their tenacity

Another nerve to poke
Another cigarette to smoke
Each day I ponder leaving A.M.A
But for my future I sit still and stay
I work where people yell at you, curse you
call you a *******

Many lie, cheat, steal, cry, fight, ****, manipulate and con.
Most are hateful and angry; argue everything.
Many are petty criminals
All or most are drunks or addicts
A lot are prostitutes
Some are politicians
Others poets
And Moms

They threaten
Complain
Can be self centered

But I'd have it no other way
These are my people
These people are me

God bless the drunks in all their stunning, brazen beauty
There is a raw honesty in a person with nothing to lose
That is one of the most beautiful things
I have ever seen
rehab
taught me how to think differently
it
didn't
teach me to think critically
only
poured on
new
dogma
better than the old dogma
but still dogma
is there such a thing as GOOD dogma?
LDP Apr 1
All these beautiful trips,
With a suitcase filled with my sanity
On a trailer running on actual reality,
Sometimes I just wish
The people I care for from this world
Could maybe come and keep me company.
It gets lonely sometimes, but this trailer
Only has a single seat for the driver
Who is indeed, me.
People now worry,
But I can only take my foot off
The gas when I reach a place with no misery
In this very dimension we currently live in.
But how much longer will the drive
Take for my joy to no longer come to me naturally?
For now, it’s an endless trip,
Where pit stops are needed,
And sometimes they last a whole week.
From my newest collection, "Sober".
Tizzop Dec 2019
family:
nothing worth more

i am listening to my
people's words

i am listening

i am
i will be
GET HELP, CARING, UNPREJUDICED AND
FOR FREE:

www.aa.org
www.ca.org
www.na.org
Tizzop Dec 2019
the ward physician said
to an addict: YOU are going to relapse
anyhow

the chief resident told
me: if you want to have  
the numbness in your
right shin examined
you are free to leave

my reaction was a
calm one

no resentment because
i found something
inside the rehab
in the addict's stories

in their human faces
i found a healing secret
GET HELP, CARING, UNPREJUDICED AND FOR FREE:
www.aa.org
www.ca.org
www.na.org

"...most substance-addicted people are also
addicted to thinking, meaning they have a
compulsive and unhealthy relationship with
their own thinking."
-- David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest
R.I.P. David. God bless you.
Tizzop Dec 2019
been living in a rehab
fifth day
telling myself: don't relapse


STAY
GET HELP, CARING, UNPREJUDICED AND FOR FREE:

www.aa.org
www.ca.org
www.na.org

“...most substance-addicted people are also addicted to thinking, meaning they have a compulsive and unhealthy relationship with their own thinking.”
― David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest
R.I.P. David. God bless you.
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