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Aug 2022 · 2.0k
The Need
Somewhatdamaged Aug 2022
Bloom as you have reached your time
Show your beauty as you're born for
Sting with thorns as it is what you need to
Wither as your time has come
Grandmaa used to love flowers, for her...
Jul 2022 · 853
Voices
Somewhatdamaged Jul 2022
These voices in my head
Cant resist,dosesn't understand
Locked in the cage of my own skin
Always busting me to throw in

These voices, won't give up
They wont give in
Dragging me over
Always following me
To pull me under
They're pulling under
Can't win the war in my own game
Jun 2021 · 1.1k
Reset
Somewhatdamaged Jun 2021
cannot sleep
cannot escape
the dreams i have
is keeping me awake

what was
might not always be
what is
never enough to set me free
what more
do i have to see?

after all that's said and done
back to the same spot
have i always been wrong?
at least let me breathe
reset life reset me
but not the same ****
over and over again
Nov 2020 · 594
Non-Entity
Somewhatdamaged Nov 2020
Staring at the sky
Pale blue
Is there any hope left
Wish non of it were true
How did I get here?
Is there any place left
I can call my home
The clouds are pouring in
Burning me within

Missing in a maze
Disarrayed and alone
Thought I could see
After all I was blind

All that I've cared
Is nothing but frail
How fragile was I
With nothing left to grasp
Just turn it into ash

I'm locked in my head
With what I've done
Maybe there was somebody
Who could've rescued me
But I didn't let anyone in
Now all that's left of me
Thoughts consuming me
With all that could've been
Non-Entity

Please someone grab my hand
And run far away
Just save me from myself
Oct 2020 · 541
My Curse (suicide note)
Somewhatdamaged Oct 2020
Pale skin
Scarred within
Messy hair
Slightly insane
Drowsy eyes
Broken inside

I feel like I'm breaking
And its only the beginning
I want to get this out my head
Lonely as I am
Broken, bruised and scarred!
The never ending
Nor forgiving
This merciless voice
Inside my head
Think I'm gonna burst my brain
Maybe that is how
My life should end!

Bad posture
Never sober
Always late
Nobody cares
Emotionless face
Violent feedback

And all of this rage
Comes through pain
Cannot deny
Cannot embrace
These voices in my head
Like never ending flame
Running through my veins
Has left me insane!

What have I become?
Such miserable ****!
What am I doing?
What is going on?
Everyone I know
I've distanced myself
Now I don't know what to do
I don't know where to go

Except
Accept
Nothingness
Dissapear in silence
Where I don't become a bother
And I don't want to be bothered
Just Rest In Peace.

I wish I knew back then
What I know right now
Would I still fail horribly?
To contain this curse of misery
Or would I **** my feelings
Instead of killing me
Somewhatdamaged Sep 2020
The ones who slay the human lives
Are mostly the religious fanatics
Scared imbeciles
Afraid of what they've done
Or afraid to rot in hell
But forgot
This is the hell that we created!
judgement is made in this world!
Jul 2020 · 229
Life
Somewhatdamaged Jul 2020
The playground
With series of
Fortunate and unfortunate
Events and opportunities
Along with
Easy and hard lessons
To learn
With each self made desicions
Whether good or bad
To overcome past
But to leave some good memories
At the end
Life
Jun 2020 · 416
Hollow Belief
Somewhatdamaged Jun 2020
He's got something left to prove
Like any of us do
If he could just follow his heart
And let it all out
Right infront of us
Only if we would let him

She's got something left to say
Which none of us dare to persuade
Burried deep inside of her
Piercing like a thorn

All we are
Afraid of the dark
Yet we are
Taught to be scared of the light
Nothing's fair enough
Unless it bends back to you
Nothing's good enough
Until we bow down to you
Who we are
What we got
Does it really defines us?
In what we believe
Is that all that's left in us?

I've got nothing left to do
Nothing left to show you
All you keep kneeling
To something no one can see!
There is only one religion.HUMANITY...
May 2020 · 184
Enough's Enough
Somewhatdamaged May 2020
Those long talks
till 5 A.M.
Thought we meant
every word we said
Those stupid little fights
Felt so right
Till it got on our nerves
And couldn't stand each other's sight!
Nothing seemed enough
May 2020 · 1.1k
Mr. Self Destruct
Somewhatdamaged May 2020
I am a freak of nature
I am control
I am the silence in your voice
When you can't seem to hold
I am the one you push around
Just like a *****
I am the one
You keep begging for more
I am control

All these words
Running through back of my mind
Leave me alone
No I can't stand on my own

Start to humiliate you?
You're acting like you're the only one
With what you've been through
Leave me alone
I will stand on my own

All I am is a **** burden
Then why am I not forgotten?
Calling me just to ******* argue!
Did I disappoint you?
And let you down
You can't even grasp with what I've been through
Leave me alone
No more talking
Through back of my mind!

I'll lead you where you want to go
I'll never let you loose control
I am control!

You made me this way
And I couldn't stay away
Or did I choose to be this way?
Either way
I am my biggest ******* mistake
Mr. Self Destruct!
those endless words that control you...I am my own demise!
May 2020 · 254
Difficult to Swallow
Somewhatdamaged May 2020
Its one of those days again
Nothing's right
Nothing's ever fine
Every little thing exists to annoy
Every other I want to destroy
This never ending tunnel
With darker twists ahead
Am I living the nightmare?
Or stuck in this absurd reality?
May 2020 · 701
Level
Somewhatdamaged May 2020
That wretched face
Inside of that beautiful skin
I couldn't see
I cannot believe

Swirling in the delusion
You created
Your tainted caress
I hope we never ever met
But the smile that gave away
My trust
Your illusion

Now I'm so sick
of your *******!
Its clearer than ever
You dragging me in your downward spiral

You've tore me inside out
But I've finally figured out
What really must be done
No mercy! No remorse!

Oh my beautiful liar
You cold blooded *****!
Never I thought I would do this.
Now I'm on my knees
You brought me down to your level...
May 2020 · 332
Digital World Zombie
Somewhatdamaged May 2020
The perfect little life
Glowing Skin
Rad Car
Shiny Teeth
Forever Happy Life!
Is it real or just fantasy?
Is it true or you just showing off?

The flawless talents you claim to have
In your virtual reality
Rising from social media industry
You sure you're nothing but a slave?
Slave to self created lies and misery...

With all this artificial manufacturing
Even the modern music sounds so boring.
The love for auto-tuned vocals and beats
I find it full of ****!
Nothing comes natural
Nothing's raw anymore
Cause everyone seems to forget
Mistakes make the better tune
Not just in music but in life too.

Now
Everything needs to be comfortable
Everything needs to be fast
All of us have become so impatient
This obscure routine seems reliable
Bound to the super computer in our palms
Rotating through 3 apps whole day
All we do is rage and moan.

My perfect little dream
Collapsing in front of my eyes
and refusing to do anything
but become a digital world zombie...
You Us Me-Zombies
May 2020 · 360
At Last
Somewhatdamaged May 2020
No matter what you do
Your past will always haunt you
How hard you run
How long you hide
Past will always find you
Tear you from the inside
Present the world in the collage
Of what you really are
And in the end
All you can do
Either embrace your past
Or curse yourself
the ruthless memories that never goes away....
May 2020 · 433
Whole
Somewhatdamaged May 2020
The older I get
more the reality smothers me
All the pain I've felt
nothing but the curse to stay alive.

Living in a tiresome roulette
Bending every rule that's out there.
Walking away from blind perception everyday
Alone I stand. Alone I stay.

I'll look down where you're all standing
All I see, herd of sheep!
All those lies you let it surround you
burning your lives with what you don't have.

This world rejects me
Or is it the other way around?
I don't believe what this world is about
And then this world threw me the **** away
I'm not the one to fall in line,
but this world's gonna have to pay!

Something inside of me
just screams out loud.
This thing inside of me
don't belong in your crowd.
The older I get
all your ******* lies bother me.
And all that I've felt...
the agony to watch this whole world burn!

I am what you can't see.
I am what you failed to understand.
Someone you hate to see right.
Something you won't believe.
Yet I am your burning desire,
someone important!
And you know
I am the future!
Some what damaged. Some what broken.
Yet a better whole than you!
my interpretation in how the common people feel against world leaders and their imbecile followers...
Apr 2020 · 168
And I Realized
Somewhatdamaged Apr 2020
Now
I know
Its alright
Its fine
To be alone
To be on my own
Done wasting my time
Now its time to make it my own
Apr 2020 · 363
Still Worth It
Somewhatdamaged Apr 2020
A fable lesson learned
After every immoral step I took
Something valuable I earned
As all the pages I have burned
Nothing I could undo...
Apr 2020 · 536
My Sober Days
Somewhatdamaged Apr 2020
What used to matter
Now its all useless.

All those those things I thought were true
Seems like I didn't even had a clue.
Even though I was used to the pain
Cause it was the only thing made me feel alive!
Now it seems to not matter
It was all useless!

Waking up everyday with the same burden
Caught in the web I, myself had woven
What it really seems
Is that nothing really matters!

My head starts spinning
My body's shaking
Thinking about what could've done!
My feet starts walking
My hands are reaching
Desire for my world to burn!

And still I am here
Just waiting for you...
Drowning in the pool of agony
With disbelief in Separation!!!
Mar 2020 · 219
Nothing
Somewhatdamaged Mar 2020
I am nothing
without a soul
just a hollow shell.

I am nothing
without my thoughts
just a fool on the line.

I have nothing
left to give
I am just running from myself.

I wish I had something
left to hold on to
feels like I'm drowning in the sand.

I feel nothing
running all alone
till I bleed myself dry.

I am nothing
without you
I wish you could've stayed
I don't know where you're gone.
Somewhatdamaged Mar 2020
Everyone has to live
before knowing the reason why
And everyone has to die
while thriving to stay alive for one more time
The pursuit for happiness all life long
ignoring all the hysterical emotions
Whatever keeps happening
have the hunger for one more
Because whatever may the reason to be
Know that nothing lasts FOREVER!!!
Feb 2020 · 314
The Desperate Heart
Somewhatdamaged Feb 2020
The urge for what's next
Has blinded you what's already there!
Don't you realize
All the way in you're dead!
This impractical imbecile you've become
Nothing seems right
To what's already been done!

Seems like you've stopped thinking over.
May not be able to put in words
On how you feel,
but all I know is
we cling to memories of what we had
not blindly seeking on everything
to what's about to come!
Feb 2020 · 410
Again
Somewhatdamaged Feb 2020
All I see is you
Your heart stopping smile
And your never tiring glowing eyes.
All your beautiful etiquettes
And me drowning
In the twisted swirling confusion.
Nothing's clear but seems so real
Eyes shut, Dream on!

But the first thing I see
When my eyes wide open
Are the broken weak efforts
Trying to get off the bed.
I need to but I don't want to
Here I go again,
In the never ending spiral.
I am the mindless freak
The ignorant piece with nothing to feel.
Jan 2020 · 215
The Ghost and The Lesson
Somewhatdamaged Jan 2020
Lost myself, completely disarrayed.
Bent myself anyway I could.
Wish you could have stayed,
but no matter what
I will do what I should.

You said it was your time,
time to leave it all behind.
Leaving me alone to live,
live with your wise words to shine.
Remembering you gives me pain and strength
but now I'm not afraid
of what I don't know.
Thank you for understanding.
I will be living,
I will be learning,
I will be growing!
Jan 2020 · 382
You
Somewhatdamaged Jan 2020
You
I love the way I can hate
Your screaming
Your blaming
and all your misery.
You blame me for spreading in.
And then you hate me
for what you put me through!

And all your disbelief
that you comfort me with,
all your hatred
all your lying,
the way you played with me
I miss the way I can hate!

Cause I know its you, not me!
You turned my simplest taste
into a worthless meaning.
The way you were holding me
Your tainted caress
struck the void in me!

Where the **** are you?
I hope you're satisfied.
You're nowhere to be found.
I'm not missing you
I just miss the way I hate you!
Jan 2020 · 637
Conversation With Self
Somewhatdamaged Jan 2020
Closed every door by myself.
Struggling even to stand up.
Burning within, back facing the floor
barely breathing
barely alive.
one thing running through my mind,
What if I knew back then
what I know right now?
What I really was
and now I'm ****** up in between!

Now is no time for whining
no place to complain.
Your aggression, turn it to focus.
Its like the fuel,
burn it to race your raging engine!
Might've been failing
but never stop trying.
After all you've been through
Or all that could've been,
now you've come closer
to what you've been doing!
Jan 2020 · 180
Question of the Day
Somewhatdamaged Jan 2020
Its easier to blame others
For your own mistakes
Its even easier to blend in
When something higher is at stakes
But what you believe in
Are you sure you aren't making fool out of yourselves?
Dec 2019 · 318
The Only One
Somewhatdamaged Dec 2019
Everyday the new stuff is here
And I'm loosing myself in fear!
Can't see myself anywhere,
been tormented with none of my share.
Its beyond me, can't help myself
What they shoved to my face
I cannot repair.

In all this disarray
the fragments I'm loosing of myself.
Everybody keeps on pushing forward,
but it drags behind me, in the back!
Sometimes what you cling to most
Is the one to hurt you most!

The whole world finds it easy
Am I the only one suffering?
Dec 2019 · 160
Dead Inside
Somewhatdamaged Dec 2019
burning inside
with all these thoughts in my mind
sometimes I want to take my own life
then I realize
nobody will know why
Why I wanted to die?
wish that I could tell you why
the pain I feel inside
wishing to leave it all behind!
I want nobody to sympathize
Yet I know I'm already dead inside!!!
Dec 2019 · 386
Every man
Somewhatdamaged Dec 2019
Born for greatness
Got stuck in this gutter full of madness!
He was all that you call life
Then the conditions and circumstances we put him in
He turned out immoral and vile!

Now in the pursuit of paper
Thinks he's after happiness.
Forgot how black his heart turned over
Even after saying never
Never will I become like them but just better.

Better he was
Born for greatness
Little did he realise
He was really good with violence!

It was'nt just about the money
He said.
Its about proving they're wrong
With his crooked smile
Never did he realize
He has become a part of something
That he never wanted to belong!
Dec 2019 · 531
The Violent Urge
Somewhatdamaged Dec 2019
You make me want to kick you in the teeth
It may hurt me back but not my feelings.

The urge to snap your kneck
makes me shiver filled with rage.
I hate that I want you
but I know that I don't need you!

After trying everything,
it so bothers me
that you're still breathing.

The memories of you
Makes me want to puke!

Why the **** did we ever come across?
Wait, hold on to that thought
Knife is talking to me,
reminds me to slit your ******* throat!
Dec 2019 · 458
The Last Stand
Somewhatdamaged Dec 2019
Living on the edge of the knife
Standing still
With nothing to call mine
Where right is wrong
And wrong is right

Hope ends here
Just tremble in fear
Bled dry
With my last breathe
Still standing tall
Cause being myself is all that I can do
Nov 2019 · 225
The Ocean
Somewhatdamaged Nov 2019
Flowing like water
Going wherever I need to go
Cutting through the way
No narrow path can stop me.
I am the water
I am a river
I flow through everything
That's all I know.
Nothing is ever what it seems,
I am the sea
I am the ocean.
Nov 2019 · 234
The Reason
Somewhatdamaged Nov 2019
Was filled with power and rage
Could've conquered the whole world.
Instead simplified all the mistakes
to the journey of void.
Should've stayed sober,
to know who's watching me over
but used all my power and rage
to lock myself inside a cage.
Now I know, I've figured out.
I'm never getting myself back again!
Everything happens for a reason.
Sometimes I wish I just didn't knew.
Nov 2019 · 396
The God
Somewhatdamaged Nov 2019
No proof needed, said God.
Just have faith, said God.
God is never late, always on time.
Said everybody!

But I'm here waiting,
for a very long time.
Waiting for the beginning
the beginning of the end
from all this madness!

All the hustle and rustle
I find it chaotic.

Said God created,
all of this.
Well what a wonderful thing to do,
bet he finds amusing in all our misery.

This is some God's work,
and nobody can run from it!

God are you enjoying this?
Watching us eat each other!
This diabolic situation you put us in,
Where the **** are you! I wonder.
I'm not a religious person but this poem is for all the blind religious people!
Please be offended!! ;)
Oct 2019 · 406
The Same Day
Somewhatdamaged Oct 2019
Wake up in the morning,
Rise and Shine!
Stay up in the front
that place is only mine.

Greet her with a smile
like the first day I met her.
Yeah its worth for a while.
I live for her. I will die for her!
Atleast that's what I thought.

As they say,
Too much sweet turns bitter.
The same thing happened to me,
could have been much quicker.

Now i wake up everyday
pretending to thrive.
The more I try to forget
The more I loose myself.

Leaving you was all I could do.
And you never gave a reason to stay.
Whether it was right or wrong
its eating me everyday.
I'm living the same day, everyday!
inspired by NIN's song with a twist of mine...
Somewhatdamaged Oct 2019
Will you be there?
When I lag behind.
Hoping someday
to leave all this mess behind.

Believe me when I tell you this,
I've tried everything.
Devil's the witness!!

Still on my last breathe
stuck with a human heart.
My eyes wandering around,
and you are nowhere to be found
but only in my heart!
this is the poem for my grandmother...just trying relate to her even after years have passed...
Oct 2019 · 213
The Curse
Somewhatdamaged Oct 2019
As a child, we were taught
World is full of magic and mystery
but as we know now,
it is full of mystery but cursed!
Sometimes it feels like nothing's hidden
yet the monsters creeping out makes me shiver.
The world is still a mystery.
Who is the root of this curse?
Oct 2019 · 951
The World
Somewhatdamaged Oct 2019
I think I'm the only one
stuck here like this,
unlike anyone!
It may seem like sometimes
I am the Rock!
& not even Fire can hurt me.
But like everyone
Every night, I look above,
for the spark of miracle
wishing the world to be better.
Oct 2019 · 204
The Dilemma
Somewhatdamaged Oct 2019
I don't like anything new,
& I'm sick of everything I'm used to.
Sometimes thrive for something different
yet get bored of it in an instant.
Trying to hold on to what I already have
still, getting ******* at the same routine!
Sep 2019 · 237
The Memories
Somewhatdamaged Sep 2019
Caught in the landslide of memories,
feels like this spiral never ends.
Even the pain it hates me!
It creeps under and pulls me out along.

This thing inside me
can't forget, can't relate.
Never lies, never betrays,
yet I'm dying to forget!
Sep 2019 · 368
The Confusion
Somewhatdamaged Sep 2019
What you're discovering now
I've lived that years ago.
Things you thought were impossible
I've seen it a long time coming.
All that was, called crazy,
Now everything's plain stupidity!
Surrounded by futile mind,
Have I become one of them?
Or am I still crazy?
Sep 2019 · 331
The Comeback
Somewhatdamaged Sep 2019
All the burdens in my hands
And all the nightmares I have,
Defines Me.
trying to escape from what I've become
collecting the fragments
just for the pain I need to overcome.
Believe me, when I tell you this
I don't need this, Any of this!
but in this fake world,
can't grasp what's what?
then in the end, all I can feel
is the scars I have,
that you left to fill this void!
wish I had some magic potion,
or some kind of spell to cast upon you,
to stop all the grieving you feed upon.
You pride yourself with your ******* throne,
now its time,
Let me show you how its really done!
Feb 2019 · 316
My hope
Somewhatdamaged Feb 2019
Hopeless without a goal
Reckless without a soul
Bound to self destruct
With everything going around
My heart is left with a hole.

Whenever I come undone
Just hold my hand
And say my name.
I may come to you in pieces
But you make me whole.
Dec 2018 · 353
Bound to Happen
Somewhatdamaged Dec 2018
Hurt me good
Hurt me bad.
Its all the same.
Things never seem to change.
In the end I'm all alone,
Can do nothing
but just wait for all this to end.
Nov 2018 · 678
That Feeling
Somewhatdamaged Nov 2018
I know what I am,
yet sometimes I find it difficult to understand.
I was walking the path of deceit
....hoping I would find someone who would hold my hand.

I never knew the feeling to be looked at like a person that really matters,
At the verge of my defiance,
I found someone whom I can count on and climb the highest ladder.

You gave me strength,
You gave me hope,
You made me feel special,
I felt like we were bound to be together,
Although to the world I was the Devil!

Loving is hard as people always say,
Yes it was but not as hard to see you walk away.

And then again,
I was all alone but with a different pain
The pain I couldn't bear,
In the path of deceit again,
With the pain you left me with as your share.

Maybe it was me, the reason for us to end,
But wherever you are I hope for the best,
Because now I know who I really am and I never should have let you hold my hand.
this is the first poem I wrote....
Nov 2018 · 400
Escalating to Revenge
Somewhatdamaged Nov 2018
I'm having one of those days,
where nothing seems alright.
My head's stumbling like its in the ******* maze!
And I'm losing in every fight.

What the **** is going on?
Feels like the water is flowing backwards,
The gravity pull is upwards.
Seems like everything is messed up.

Oh what a shame
Don't know when it all began.
You play all your mind game,
Trying to put all your blame,
On ME!!

Pretending that you were here for me,
Offering me your helping hand.
You tried to serve and feed me,
Only what's good for you.
I swallowed it whole,
But now I'm spitting it back on you!

I've drowned in your shadow,
So dark and deep!
Couldn't even figure out,
If I'm fake or real!

You sold me out, knocked me down,
Stabbed me on the back,
Soaked my heart in gasoline
And burned it down!

Now I could care less,
Coz my head is full of ******* rage!
Oh my vision has turned red,
So you better runaway.

Yeah you better be scared,
When my eyes are furious and red.
Had enough of your stupid games,
Its my turn to make you pay!
its pretty raw but don't want to change it though....written in my troubled days to make myself feel better...was not angry with just one person but with so many people and specially the system!!
Nov 2018 · 423
Relentless Monster
Somewhatdamaged Nov 2018
Time as a monster
Keeps tick tick ticking over.
Sometimes behind me,
Most of the times ahead of me,
But when its right beside me,
I get really scared.
Wish I could be spared,
But it cares for no one
And keeps on coming and coming and coming...
Nov 2018 · 605
I
Somewhatdamaged Nov 2018
I
I am a God, I am the Devil.
I provide the circumstances for an easy life yet I am the one to make it hard.
I am the one who brings you down still I am the one who raises your level.
I am the one who gives you hope and I am the one who leaves you scarred.

I am the one who cared deeply but I am the one who remained a mystery.
I am the one who exaggerates your pain yet I was the one who put you out of misery.
I was the one who helped you climb the highest mountains still I will be the one who will push you out of envy.
I am the one to lie but I expect everyone to speak truthfully.

I am the Buddha, I am the ******,
I can spread peace worldwide yet I can be the mass murderer.
I could put the gun in your hands or I could free you from your own prison.
I can start the war in the name of racism or later people could pay me tribute and start a different religion.


I am a human being, that's who I choose to be.
I make mistakes and I learn from it.
I am not perfect, that's not what I intend to be.
This world ain't a joyride but I know I have the guts to live through it.
Oct 2018 · 385
Guilt Inside
Somewhatdamaged Oct 2018
I don't know what's going on,
Don't know what went wrong!
In my mind, nothing's clear,
Seems I've turned my life to over-steer.

I just want to disappear,
In my loss everyone's here to cheer!
Feel so empty in here.
Losing you was my only fear!

Then you turned on your way,
It was my darkest day!

When we stayed up all night,
Made me feel so safe and right.
Holding you meant world to me,
Felt so alive and free.

I must have done something wrong,
To you is where I belong!

We fought so many times,
exploded like the freaking mines!
Should have been me to leave you,
maybe I was scared of this view.

I wake up all these nights,
remembering all our fights.
When you first blamed me,
Should have been me to leave!
Oct 2018 · 1.2k
The Dragging Well
Somewhatdamaged Oct 2018
Been a long long time now,
stuck here down below.

I don't know what I'm doing here.
I don't know how I got here,
Maybe I do, but all I can see,
at the way top above,
glimpse of a sunlight
through a tiny hole.

I've tried so many times,
trying to crawl back to the sunlight.

The walls are too slippery,
There's no ledges to hold on to...

feel so scared in the dark,
as I am the only one.
yet I feel so ashamed,
even though there are no eyes of anyone.

Each day I wake up, Today is The Day!
then I realize there's no one here, what can I say...

I cry, I scream, I rage,
sometimes I realize I'm expressing, but only in my head!

No matter how many times I climb,
I keep falling down.
I wish there was someone else,
that can keep holding me now.

Can't figure out what else can I do...
Still I'm dying to crawl out through!
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