Temporal Fugue Jan 11

Most people only annoy me
while their lips are moving

Good lord, some people should pause to breath, or maybe, not. :D
Nicole Elise Nov 2016

the more i try the more it just feels false
my words come out and just like that I freeze-
i regret what I say and keep silent around everyone
then the silence catches up with me
and infiltrates my mind

why did i speak why did i have to be
me, what is it about my existence
that makes life so fucking difficult to
to speak to think to form a sentence or two
why is something so simple so complex

you have kind eyes
i’m not saying anything more except
that’s what attracted me -
not in a romantic way or
any way at all
just a friendly way i guess,
so some sort of way it turns out,
a really random way or
completely accidental or
oops there goes my mind again

but i can’t help it when there’s someone new
who tolerates me to the point of tears
then drops me on my ass and forgets
i’m even here

i dont trust very easily but i want to trust you,
my eyes want to cry and my mouth wants to speak
but see what happens when the two collide?
this is what happens and
this is how i lose people and
this is how i live
because i’m afraid of being left behind or disliked
because it’s not every day someone with kind eyes
shares an ounce of of their kindness by looking into my

dear god please don’t fuck this up
i know i’m an atheist but
damnit atheists have some kind fucking eyes

you know when you make a new friend and you feel like you're constantly annoying the shit out of them? this is about that.

Pick your soapbox.
Seriously, there's plenty to go around:
abortion, firearms, climate, racism,
the church and the state...
Any side too.
Hell, you think evolution is demonic sleight of hand?
There's a group for that.

Then, shout as loud as possible
with (at) millions of others.
Facts or struggle are optional.

But you're not allowed
to mind your own business and avoid conflict.
That's just strange or you're of the enemy.

And don't dare try to work it out with others.
This is a debate, god dammit!

© Derek Devereaux Smith 2015, 2016

Yume Blade Aug 2015

Talk to you without problem
Look at you without outage
Answer you without hesitation
Smile you without stop
Disappoint you without attention
Annoy you without regret
Reassure you without success

❤ thank you my love for being patient with me ❗
Amanda rodeiro Apr 2015

Sometimes I have to lie to my mind in order to get some sleep at night

I am not proud of this

Sometimes I have to shut down everyone around me in order to temporarily forget about the anger I keep shut inside me

I am not proud of this

Sometimes I have to run so hard in order to make myself feel pain caused by myself for a change instead of others

I am not proud of this

Sometimes I open my heart so wide but always end up stitching it back up again in order to mend the broken thought that I can’t fully feel connected to anyone

I am not proud of this

Sometimes I let other people’s voices wash over my own in order to make them happy

I am not proud of this
Sometimes I allow myself to get taken advantage of, as if the chances I reluctantly keep giving out will make a person change their selfish ways

I am not proud of this

The word “bitch” hangs over my head lit up with fluorescent lights flashing wildly
Sometimes I can’t find any power in myself to curl my lips into a sly smile, I just can’t do it

Some days I am weak, moody and impenitent 
I can’t deal with anyone’s shit let alone my own
The need to be alone is conspicuous and demanding, beating me up to the point where I may just concede
I have to make friends with myself again, I just need some respectful space in order to do so

Mercury Chap Mar 2015

I love to talk
I love to have my words expressed
But when I blurt out the word,
I don't know why my words make me depressed.

I love to write and make curves on the paper with my ink,
Imagination pouring out of mind
Creating my world in some little corner of this world,
I cannot fathom how to express this world,
Creating it outside my mind
So it can be visible to all.

My thoughts aren't that clustered
My words aren't obscene
I figure out how to blow away everyone
Everyone from my life's messed up scenes.

I have friends
I love to be with them
But somehow I manage make my own boundaries
And seclude myself from everyone,
Taking no advice from the infinite wisdom trees
I am surrounded by
Who try to make sure
I have a happy life
But happiness is not something which allures
Me, and I repel every positive charge with my negativity.

maybe marc Aug 2014

it's sad how i can remember the feeling
but not totally grasp it
and i can't even forget it
not even if i wanted to

but how would i know.

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