I met the Soul,
And she was empty.
She was exhausted, unattached.
She wandered charily,
Taking the back streets,
Not to be noticed.
She was unsaved.

Was she abused?
Was she just given up?
She walked so poor, not oneself.
"Why are you suffering?" -
I asked her heedfully.
And lo I realized:
It's my Soul herself.

Ten –
I loved you much
Nine –
As not anyone before.
Eight –
I forgave you a lot of
Seven –
Falsehood and lots more.
Six –
I threw into whirlpool.
Five –
I suffered meanness.
Four –
When it was cold,
Three –
I gave up proudness.
Two –
I waited for love in return,
One –
But I didn’t wait.
While I was waiting for your love,
My love got lost for late.

I’d like to talk about spring,
About nature’s breathe with fresh
And breezy mornings, sunny days,
About feelings in spring plesh.

I’d like to talk about love,
The one that takes you all, in whole!
It’s in your heart! It is inside!
It makes a magic just for all!

I’d like to talk about myself,
The one that I don’t even know,
About myself with different fate…
But truly, I guess I’d better go.

I want to wander over the pavements,
The dawn bridges, the morning streets,
Where gentle wind caresses my hair.
I follow my happiness. I’m pure and sweet.

We’d walk together with weeks and years,
And time would go on unhurriedly long.
And I’d live my life, so cloudless, beauty,
Without any fear of love. I’d be strong.

I wouldn’t fear of stupid minds.
I wouldn’t hold unthinking people.
I wouldn’t be shy of one funny way –
To smile at passersby with a glance a little.

To love them all without purpose,
To see the world with wide open soul,
And love you whole without edges,
And wear your worn shirt. Not care that droll.

I’ll be waiting for you at dawn,
Where the night ends,
Where birds chirp in whisper
Like elves from fairylands.

I’ll wash my feet with cool dew
And I will be calmly awaiting,
Where pure thoughts are twisting with osiers
And creating dreams, fascinating.

I’ll be waiting for you at dawn.
Come some morning. I’m here,
Where dew is cool and all-pure
And our dreams are near.

It’s night, freezing much outside.
You’re talking about Paris…
Let me, please, sit closer to you
And I’ll move nearer to Paris.

You’re talking about Montmartre
And lo I am there by now.
I hear from all sides: “Oh, belle mademoiselle!”
I’m blushing as under the crown.

“Je suis fasciné par vous!” “Oh, merci!”
“Quelle beauté!” My feet are going numb.
“Asseyer-vous, s'il vous plait. Je veux peindre de vous!”
I can’t say no, and I sit down.

'Je marche sur Montmartre…'
And though I only dream it,
Beautiful Paris, that I see in your eyes,
Is enough for me to fall in love with it.

Once upon a time, there was a love.
She lived in a responsive heart.
That love grew up and blossomed as amazing flower.
And they had never ever lived apart.

That love lived really like in heaven.
Her life was careless just to the full.
But once he came! Her curse and misery!
And love began to fade in full.

He weaned that love from joke and smiling.
She stopped to look with open eyes.
He was her ****, her full obsession.
She was his captive, no otherwise.

So heart was suffering, love was dying.
There was no happiness in their mood.
And heart, inspite of pain and sorrows,
Just let the love to leave for good.

Since then the heart is fully empty.
The love is gone. Where’s she and how?
No love, no truth, no faith, no kindness.
No point to live from then to now…  

There was a love. And she was pure,
Unblemished, naïve and to all.
But you destroyed her white perfection.
You make her suffer just in full.

I'm so tired, Mum,
Of tackling a lot all the while,
Of hiding my nerves into a ring-mail,
Of running away all the time.

I'm so tired, Mum!
There're so much lies around!
It's so scary, I'm starting to feel
That I'm falling down.

I'm so tired, Mum!
It's so unfair! I can't even weep.
Fluff my pillow like for a kid, Mum.
I deathly want to sleep.

The dog's paw is broken.
The dog's in unbearable pain.
The dog's not whimpering.
It's as if happy. It's not on a chain.

The dog's satisfied with the sunshine.
And yesterday it was raining. That's bad...
Somebody threw a bone in the garbage.
It'll probable get it to eat beforehand.

Both dog's eyes are squinty.
It's warm and free now in whole
Yesterday's gone. Tomorrow'll be later.
Today the dog's calm at all

Hopelessness and desperation.
No place for me. I can't be found.
Just only doom and destination.
I'm like a ****** bride with no sound.

May be I spoiled, I don't conceal.
I sinned, repented and forgave.
And didn't live with mute appeal.
I'm not a saint, but not a knave.

I am like others: grudges, dances,
Triumph and errors, fear of all.
I am like others: love with candles
And then dark loneliness in whole

But only time made fun of me.
And didn't give a second chance.
All things I've done through daft stupidity,
I can't undo. Just in no stance.

I’m cold… You think I’m really fluey?
I’m not for sure… Maybe you’re right.
The weather’s nasty by mischance for now.
And I’m not wearing my cozy woolly scarf.

This February snows a lot and rages.
I’d like to wrap in plaid and not to leave.
I know it’s blues. I know for certain, sweetheart.
You shouldn’t get a feel for me. I’m peeve.

The spring will come. There will be a revival
Of new ideas, follies and delight.
And I will rise, I will return, my dear,
Better than previous. I will be vitalized!

How I want to understand you
With every cell of my swarthy skin.
How I want to hug you all
Till my pulse madness! Not care of anything.

How I want to feel you in whole
In every fiber of my being.
But I'm afraid to spot one day
That you're the stranger and we have nothing.

I draw your name with a thin twig in a sand,
Like touching the surface of meanings by breath.
Sand grains flows together like dots on a chequered sheet
And lay down one-line in letters as shibboleth.

In every sand letter of your name there’s me,
Untalented, hopeless, irrelevant, but so tender.
The stray wind will blow away your name from me
And I will stay alone on a sand, unshod and in surrender.

Save me! I'm so afraid of falling off
All radars and locators of existence.

Save me! I'm so afraid of waking up
And making sense that I'm at far distance.

Save me! While it's no late at all,
While I can hear the pain inside and see the light.

Save me! While it's still possible.
While I'm here, cause tomorrow's my affright.

The night fell down with a silk sheet.
The city sleeps.
The night is walking silently
Through concrete heaps.

She treads regally, barely touching
The dark stones.
The night has come, smiling lordly,
Into the throne.

The night's happy. It's to her liking
People's dreams.
They're sacred. All men in them
Are almost saints.

Well now, the night rejoices and rules!
It's her time!
She scatters the stars and the moon in the sky
To sublime.  

The night put out all lanterns
In city's streets.
The city sleeps quietly and soundly
Without all feats.

It’s morning. I woke up. It’s hatefully grey.
I’d close my eyes and go back to sleep.
Thoughts wander around me like chimeras
And weave their nets from all sides of me.

I think I’ll make one of them just a reality:
I’ll make some coffee, there’s no other way.
The day won’t work out without coffee.
And there’ll be a mess in my head anyway.

I’m up. What a nebulous nasty morning.
It shamelessly drives me crazy at all.
And why did I suddenly feel wholly
That I know all about myself?
What a fool?

What a phenomenal wacky silliness!
What a criminal irrational nonsense!
I thought that tomorrow is really fatal
As it was in the same way for years.

And what is in point of fact?
Where’s tomorrow?
All colors around me are totally dim.
I try to find my previous strong energy,
But only monotony is all-around me.

It was so simple yesterday, but now it’s ugly.
My coffee’s sneezing. It’s got a cold.
Well, I’ll go to live just like that, don’t look behind.
And I will live as long as I can, with no support.

My grey cat curls up
Down by my side.
It'll be a long night.
We'll get through.

Rain's knocking the bench
There, outside.
It'll pass off after night.
We'll get through.

I'm staring the ceiling.
The darkness's the same
I can't sleep again.
Well, we'll get through.

I’ll leave you at all, whispering,
So as not to awake you.
I’ll kiss you softly at parting
And I’ll never forget you.

Don’t feel sorry for me, my loving.
I will come to you in your sleeps.
I will be with you there, my dear.
But now I’ll just be in your dreams.

I’ll leave, covered the door behind me.
Don’t try to turn me back.
I’m an illusion, an impossible dream.
And when you arouse, you’ll find my lack.

I turned out the lights in my room.
I tightly pulled the curtains.
Your wilted bouquet is on the table.
Its dropping petals are so uncertain.

I’m not waiting for you anymore.
I closed my doors firmly.
If you call me, I won't sadly come.
It didn't work out. I'm lonely.

I'll make black coffee without milk.
I'll be up the whole night.
Now I have to find myself.
I said "Goodbye" to you last night.

I forbid myself to love you!
It's unbearable!
It's like I'm tearing myself to pieces,
To shreds at all!
I madly want to be with you!
More than nearer!
But I forbid myself to think of you!
Not at all!

I forbid myself to remember you!
It's torture!
The sunshine in my window at dawn -
It's you!
Without you I maim my Soul!
I **** her!
My days, my dreams, my thoughts are naught
Without you!

I loved you so much, to the pain in my temples.
My love was a billow that made one’s blood cold.

I looked for you wolfish till one drops, till hoarseness.
I saw you in each one and ripped myself cold.

My nights are sleepless, my mornings are lack.
I try to conceal myself and hide you in whole.

My heart is pulseless, my mind is dark.
I know it’s folly, but I need you all.

I didn't leave fast,
Just bit by bit.
I didn't leave all at once.
I stood and I waited.

I vanished not quick.
Just drop by drop.
I vanished as a fog,
Till I determined to stop.

I couldn't stay more.
I had to leave quick.
We had to break up.
We both were like sick

I remember your hands.
They are strong and gentle!
I remember your eyes.
They're incredibly deep!
I remember your lips.
They're so mint and sinner!
I remember your voice.
It's the passion indeed!

I remember all:
As I was without you,
Alone as a pup,
Thrown into a ditch.
Weltered in life,
Ruined disgusting.
I was forgotten,
Dusted and *******.

I remember you.
You looked afar,
Past me at all,
As if an unknown.
You were so scared.
You chickened out,
You disappeared.
I'm now a stone.

I’ve got to pull myself together.
I’m loss.
I’m scattered roughly by the wind,
Back and forth.
I’ve fallen to the ground, and all crows
Are on top.
They’re circling, circling, restless devils,
And don’t stop.
Shhh! Fly away! I’m going to.

I’ve got to restore myself to this body.
It’s the right way.
My body's awkward, enfeebled indeed –
Just get away!
I’ve lived in it, learnt a lot in it.
I swear!
I’ve loved, created, broken and lost, but lived
Just anywhere!
Shhh! Right-on. It’s my body.

It’s time to go out. There’s nothing to do here
At all.
No need to catch emptiness or uselessly freak
For all.
Believe, disbelieve, wait or don't wait
Any more.
It’s time to go out. I don’t want to stay here.
What for?
Shhh! It’s enough! I've got tired of lies.

A glass of wine, a rainy evening…
The window’s wide open, the candles blink.
The wind is trying to put them out.
Silence fills her. No need to think.

She feels good, and no need to hurry.
Tears of heaven delight the ear.
She has no friends. She has no girlfriends.
And only her cat is always near.

She is contented with her aloneness.
There’s no fluster or moping at all.
She’s pleased with herself and she is honest
With her own conscience and with her soul.

She doesn’t want any loving thrills,
No worrying, no passions, no needless doubts.
All is got over. Nothing remains.
Enough as it were so many fouls.

The wine is drunk. The evening is chilly.
The window’s wide open. The candles went out.
She calmly goes to pure bedroom.
No need to hurry. And all is out.

I want to go home so much!
I want to go to my open essence.
There’s coffee on the table. It’s undrunk.
And there’s my future, which is pure taintless.

I want to go home, to my place.
The time is ripe: my heart and soul are holed.
To hell with being along! I go home!
I am invisible. And here I am cold.

Hello, my darling! How do you feel?
What are you doing? Don’t be so shy!
Don’t worry, honey, I won’t leave you.
Come on, go into! Maybe tea with a pie?

I’ve caught sight of you for a long time.
I’ve simply kept quite about it.
And before you noticed me yourself,
I studied you whole, to be truthful of it.

I knew we’d have to go inseparably
Though life together until the end.
I won’t deny, I wasn’t thrilled with
That part of journey. But I couldn’t contend.

I realize the years take their toll.
Don’t get me wrong. I will be sad a short time.
But I am sane and I am sighted.
And I conceive in whole that mine is mine.

I won’t cry and I won’t rueful.
I’m ready to take you all with no trace.
Come in, my wrinkle. You see, I’m not boring.
Come here! And let me hug you, my Grace!