As a cookie
I crumble, easily
As an orange
Squeeze me , tears will shed
As the deep blue sea
Tranquil, yet slowly damaged
With your words.
The skin suits,
The single identity crisis,
Into a man’s
They lost forever and
A day ago.
And nothing is left
But the measly foundation;
Rotting and infested
there’s a gouging hole where my chest used to be
ever since the moment i met you
a tiny piece of me has crumbled and fallen to the floor
leaving trails of myself as i pass
and over the months as i have been chipped away at
i’ve grown tired of the pain
i’ve grown tired of the wanting and the longing
i’ve rushed to pick up pieces of myself again but i found that they don’t fit
i am not the same anymore
we are not the same
nothing will be like it was
these months have sloshed like water, up and down and now the water is gone
a new tide has come in
and i don’t know how to fit here in these waters
what to expect from them
acceptance rolls in between my fingers
touching my skin and begging to be absorbed
this past month i have been playing with it in my hands, feeling its tacky sticky texture
it promises no returns, only a way to pick up my pieces again and fill in the gaps you left, with it’s presence
i lay on the ground
water laps at my body and pushes bits of me into the holes they once occupied
my hand is now covered in it, the acceptance
i lay in the slowness, the grey sounds of the water filling my ear and there is nothing i can do but wait
wait for the acceptance to over take my body
wait for myself to be whole again
i remember your face and i wonder how that’s ever possible
and yet here i am, being put back together and remedied
here i am
waiting for my impossibilities to soak into my skin and become possible
here i am
i dont know how to get over her but i will, its happening, i just have to wait
You were my everything, now I am nothing to you.
I fell in love with you, and you thought you felt the same.
You did not.
I fell in love and continued to fall deeper.
You led me on and continued to walk.
My heart crumbled and cracked, and you tried to help me.
Although you only made it worse.
So I cannot love you anymore, because I have been told the inevitable,
That you do not love me, and I can't force you too.
My heart is like a cage,
Trapping feelings that it can't let go.
My heart is like a drum,
Hammering away as our skins touch.
My heart is like a rose,
With thorns yet admiration for you.
My heart is like a tower,
Every brick was placed to protect myself from you.
My heart is like glass,
Breaking into pieces as I see you with her.
My heart is now crumbled.
Pencil scratching words out
The sound of paper and lead connecting
Frustration, not meaning what you write
Eraser comes out
The crumbler of words
Rubs across the unwanted
And now unsaid
Words that don’t let you speak your mind
Wipe the crumbled words away
Let them fly off the table
Land on the ground
Begin an adventure
That only crumbled words can
Rolling out into
Into what it means
What do I say
The crumbled words representing
Things you would never dare admit
Letting themselves free
I miss you
I love you
Brushing those haunting
Impacting, changing words away
Inspired by a friend who once told me she called erased words crumbled words
How do you shake that
which thrives on being crumbled?
It's simple - you don't.
Oh how you crumbled my defences.
Oh how my walls fell in defeat.
*The damage was displayed
in the rubble at my feet.
// They were bound to fall someday;
they've been standing way too long,
just rotting away. //