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Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2020
I am trying to write happy poems
To smile once more
Dull ache in my stomach
Trying to ignore

Try and try to be stronger
My chin up high
Living in the present
Let it pass me by

Trying to focus on the good
Instead dwelling on the bad
Start making new memories
Missing old ones had

Try not to complain much
To stifle tears
Embrace what is in front of me
These are my best years

I am so sick of wasting my life
Chasing goals impossible to attain
Stop throwing my health and money away
Learned down a bottomless drain

I have been alive for two dozen rotations
Around the boiling sun
I die a little bit every day
Decomposing each one
Keyword: TRYING
391 · Jul 2020
Normal
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2020
Sometimes wish I was normal but what does that even mean?
Nobody privately is as normal as they seem
Some of us hide behind a false veil of protection
Others wear mistakes as armor for protection
I own what I have done so no one can give me ****
Impossible to understand if they haven't lived through it
Everyone struggles
We all feel pain
I never judge those whose choices aren't the same
I hope I grow to find happiness once more
Along with freedom I harbored before
How long until efforts prevail?
Progressing at a pace slower than a snail
I hate myself because I am weak
Expectations way too high to meet
Falling centimeters short of each goal
Cannot fall asleep but can fall into these holes
Every time I strive it's in vain
Can hear the taunts of success i can't attain
I love seeing people smile
Laugh
Maybe some joy will rub off as they pass
I hate being the way I am
391 · Dec 2020
Flying Free (Haiku)
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2020
Jump with new courage
With them leap like you have wings
Fly as free as birds
I always used to wish I was a bird
391 · Dec 2021
Quitters Can't Win
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2021
I didn't want to give up on us
Thought I would stick with you through the worst
So you can fault me if you want
But you gave up on yourself first
391 · Nov 2020
Friends Over Frauds
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
I prefer to have only one true friend than ten million frauds

To fall a million times than to never try at all

Rather lose with honor than win by breaking rules

Be hated for person I truly am that celebrated for a disguise

I pick reality over rose-hued ruses
I wish everyone felt this way
390 · Jun 2018
The Only Reason (Haiku)
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2018
She was the reason
He was finally able
To take off his mask
Love takes off masks we fear we cannot live without, but know we cannot live within.
390 · Nov 2020
Heavy Heart (Haiku)
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
My heart is heavy
Carrying a massive weight:
Absence of your love
I'm so confused. I dont know if something terrible happened and I just havent heard yet or if you are just done with me. But why wont you at least give me an explanation? Either way I feel sick to my stomach. Living without you is the hardest thing i have ever done.
390 · Oct 2018
Perfect Intrusion
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
You were every fantasy I imagined
Inside my head, perfect intrusion
Don't want to lose these childish hopes
Can't hold a man who's an illusion.

Let me sleep, be at peace
Worry will come when I wake
Contol over urges is weak at best
Drawn to the people who bring me heartache.

Of the dreams I've sacrificed
The hardest to lose is the future we planned
Promised myself I'd mature and grow
Reasons took time to understand.

What happened to nightly conversations?
Once was my favorite part of each day
My heart torn in two directions
I foresee danger either way.

How do I choose which way to head?
Stuck thoughts which cost me sleep
Try to stop them with mental blocks
Over the hurdles hours leap.

Feels like you're always lurking in the shadows
Where your memory burns like fire
In false promises identity is revealed
Lost in a maze of sweet desire.

The human in front of me
Does not match the image in my mind
Seems you've grown roots hidden in my brain
Not as simple as it sounds to leave you behind.
Erasing someone from your life is one thing. Erasing someone from your heart is a different story.
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2020
Be not scared of death
Growing slowly with old age
The simplest blessing
389 · Nov 2020
Lessons In Lying
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
Whoever taught you to lie did an excellent job

What it is that makes you so authentic is your total sincerity

To be lonely awhile might knock some sense into you

I would like to see you lie then
Why do we end up like our parents?
Amanda Kay Burke May 2019
I am standing here in front of you
Yet somehow one step behind
Maybe I did not really catch up
Though eyes are no longer blind

Now that I am gifted with sight
Burdened by what I see
Small details I never noticed in the past
Leap out at all angles screaming at me

How I wish for my eyeballs to be extracted
Each shifting day they cause more pain
Was I happier living in darkness?
Found that light shed only burns my brain

If I had known the accuracy of the phrase
"Ignorance is bliss"
I would not have worked to find the truth
Would have never wished for this

I've been told the truth will set you free
Sometimes it also weighs you down
Sets the wings given on fire
Or tears them off so you crash to the ground

All I asked for was to know you
Who you truly are
I will love you deeply until the day
You forget each tear and scar

You only have shown me fragments before
Now I understand why you concealed the rest
You may have a lot of broken parts
But to me you'll forever be the best
I would go back to ignorance if I could go back and choose without realizing what the bliss I had was. But I could never pick happiness over knowing the truth or reality of any situation because if you dont know what is really happening  in your life then none if those positive emotions are even real are they?

They certainly feel real before the illusions are stripped away..
388 · Mar 2020
Thrilling
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2020
And there's something that happens
When we talk
When we touch
As our buttons unfasten
Pour feelings into *** and such

Trying not to overthink each action
No matter how I try
Cannot avoid distraction
Sounds of ecstasy amplify

When our hot blood flows faster
Worlds halt breifly and stand still
Irresistible desire becomes my master
Leaves me desperate for your thrill
I don't write about *** much but if making love is not living breathing poetry than what is?
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2020
I love you more than hate myself
The worst thing is you do too
Don't know what you see in me
I am so shocked that you do
If only we could trade eyes for a day
388 · Jan 2020
Under My Skin
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2020
You have ways of getting under my skin
When you are miles away
Don't understand why I hold onto
Words in the back of my mind each day

Fight
Forget past arguments
Continuous struggle I'm losing
Consuming the house we share
Showing scars
Blood oozing

Much more damage than can heal
Not what I choose
War becoming clearer with time
Further pain to gain unclouded views

When light fades I am blinded once more
Can't breathe when you're not here
Visions flutter faintly inside my chest
Standing in emptiness
Reach out to pull you near

I cannot explain why I cannot shake you off
Brain stuck on you like glue
Lift my gaze for a moment
Cast aside charm invading my view

I climb
Get away from your hold
And turn away from your eyes
I can't see through your blindfold
the darkness taken by your disguise

Standing heart falls deeper every night
Blackness is to blame
Heart entrancing with endless illusions
Surrounding me to be consumed by your name
Once again sorry but I don't know if I've posted this one before
388 · Oct 2020
Baa
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2020
Baa
I wrap my ribs in blankets and attempt to get some sleep
But I am kept up by “baas” from imaginary sheep
I have counted so many I lost track of the number
Yet not one nudged me an inch toward my slumber
And even in the quiet hours foreplaying dawn
No tiredness is found
My mind races on
I am comfortable like my bed is made of bricks
Turning and tossing as the second hand ticks
Knowing I am not going to get a wink of shut-eye
But optimistic enough to try
Close my eyes to the movie playing outside my window pane
Colors changing
Black to pink to blue
Do not entertain
It washes over me slowly
Like the tide rolling in
I surrender to insomnia
Not strong enough to win
I listen to the rustle of wind sifted through branches on trees
And let my brain be carried away to fond memories
It’s not the same as drifting off but it comes pretty close
If my head must remain active at least it's engrossed
I would like to catch some Zs but they keep slipping away
Hands as slow as the transition from night to day
I'm looking for an escape to ease my weary soul
Some sun to light my insides
Darker than coal
My weakness gets the best of me
Drowning me in fear
Convincing myself demons are worse than they appear
But as the blackness inhabiting my room begins to lift
Something stirs my senses and I feel a distinct shift
I forget all the obstacles in the way of my rest
A weight is no longer pressing on my chest
Just as everyone else starts their daily routine
I finally doze and enter a world more serene
The dreams I wished to visit but were too far for so long
Are now mine to live in
Only to me belong
It may have taken more time but was surely worth the wait
When it comes to sleep no such thing as too late
Insomnia can be a real ***** sometimes
388 · Aug 2018
Colorblind (Haiku)
Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2018
I was colorblind
You took my grey world and filled
It with your colors
I am colorblind, coffee black and egg white...
387 · Feb 2019
A Way Out
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2019
I am holding onto something
I'm scared it isn't real
Is this an illusion?
Is it what you really feel?

I know it is wishful thinking
Wishes don't come true
Every time you're on my mind
I hope I am on yours too

I am waiting for your attitude to change
Wondering when it will end
The moment heart finally breaks
Allowing it to start to mend

Labyrinths have me trapped
In each feeling you raise
Searching but I still can't find
My way out of this maze
You ah-maze me...
387 · Apr 2018
Out Of Love (Haiku)
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2018
My brain has fallen
Out of love now I am just
Waiting on my heart
Why don't they ever do things at the same time?
387 · Apr 2018
I Love You Always
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2018
I love you even when you get angry
When holes appear in the sheetrock wall
As hurtful insults are thrown from your mouth
Voice so loud I can't help but feel small

I love you when you are dead tired
And can barely move or lift your feet
When you feel there is no way to go on
Head hung low in frustrated defeat

I love you when you get upset
When the disappointment reads clear on your face
Your despair only enhances your features
You carry your sorrows with grace

I love you when you are at your best and your worst
When you are wrong and when you are right
Your scars and flaws are unique and beautiful
I'm in love with everything you are;
Your darkness as well as your light
We love eachother when most people wouldnt be able to
387 · Mar 2022
Hailstorm
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2022
A girl used to inhabit the sky
Cried every day without fail
Until teardrops froze her to ice
And her shattered pieces fell like hail
387 · Jan 2020
Early Heat
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2020
Your early heat nudging my back
The coldness floods this impatient day
Made brittle in the breaking Dawn
Soften when the biting wind blows ice away
About waking up to a cold day in a warm bed next to my soulmate
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2020
I am not very good at being a friend
Am not always there by your side
I can promise to be there til the end
No matter how bumpy the ride
386 · Jun 2017
Monsters
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2017
It's not as easy as you think,
To trust someone with all your heart,
Because once you've felt the pain of an ending,
You become too scared to look for a start.

When you have heard countless excuses,
Listened to a thousand alibis,
Youll start to assume that fairytales,
Are only nightmares in disguise.

I spent my childhood escaping,
The monsters underneath my bed,
But I grew up when they moved out,
And started living in my soul instead.
This is a little dark but i think it is one of my best pieces. Thoughts anyone?
386 · Dec 2019
Color And Fluctuation
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2019
You were my angel in blackest days
Smile the only light
Think my world would still be black
If you had not of taken away the night

Darkness seemed to fill
I knew
Life spaced out by sobs of punctuation
The monotonous dullness of time
Provided color and fluctuation

How could I dim the sky?
The one?
Had put the sun in mine
Hearts are setting in the distance
I'll forever remember your shine
My earthangel
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
Someday you will love someone other than me
You will love this girl even more
Each part of her body will hold greater beauty
Fills me with sadness to my core

The way we shared our dearest thoughts
The wonderful lazy days spent
How you always supported my goals
Those things you will forget

A new face will replace mine in your heart
It is quite tragic to bear that thought
Guess I'm unable to comprehend the idea
Of one day being nothing but an ex you forgot

Sad because I know the truth
Feeling down for many reasons
The prize I worked my *** of for is out of reach
Your adoration fading with the seasons

Wonder what your next partner will be like
Will she wear similar type of clothes?
Are those hands going to touch the same parts I have felt?
Only future knows I suppose

Hear you're having trouble moving on
I am too, never thought I would be the one to sever
One thing I promise to you my love
You will not stay lonely forever
The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else.
385 · Feb 2018
Worse
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2018
Forgive me for causing you pain,
You are the unlikely person I have to hurt,
I am viewing our love circle the drain,
The end we can no longer divert.

I say farewell to your crumbling mask,
Hello to the intruder underneath,
Who are you? The enquiry I won't ask,
You never own what lies beneath.

Your outer skin surpasses perfection,
But you fail to show a darker side,
Afraid if you uncover that section,
You will squander your only spot to hide.

I clutched onto this dream too long,
Too tightly, believing you would change,
You could, but you don't realize what's wrong.
Our happy ending is right out of range.

The word goodbye is a heavy blow,
It lands like a fist, hitting your heart,
I know you say it aches to watch me go,
But it's far worse to be the one to depart.
I always thought that it couldn't hurt that bad being the dumper but now I see I was wrong. Sometimes you have to make choices that are unbearably painful because it's what is best, even if it doesn't feel like it at the moment. Thoughts?
385 · Mar 2018
Lonely Map (Haiku)
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2018
There are pieces of
you scattered all over this
lonely map I walk
Why are there reminders of what we shared everywhere? It feels like there is noplace I can go where we haven't had a romantic memory, or any memory. It all hurts.
385 · May 2018
A Perfect Ten
Amanda Kay Burke May 2018
I am tired of defending you
And telling all my friends that they are wrong
Stick up for you every time but I
Can only believe you for so long

I am sick of acting like I'm happy
And pretending I am fine without you
Want more than what we have now
But I am scared that dream will never come true

I need to prove you care about me
I do not want to be alone anymore
Make the suffering worthwhile
Remind me what I am doing this for

Show me you can be the man
I fell for way back when
And I promise I will do my best
To be the girl you fell in love with again
An oldie
385 · May 2019
All-In
Amanda Kay Burke May 2019
I am afraid to go all in
Although I love you so much
Proud I have resisted succumbing
Hide my heart away from your touch

Locked inside a dark cool place
I will be kind but cautious too
Special for a little bit but not for long
Warm and soft glow soon will fall through

You make a perfect Prince Charming
Afraid it's all a game
A chance is the gift I'm giving you
Waiting for proof you're no longer the same

Sincerely I pledge my love to you
We are fated to break somewhere
Wanting to show you the depth of these feelings
With more than words sculpted from air

Fear forms a fence between us
Distance a familiar friend
Passion puts me in a prison cell
Losing power to pain and the impending end

Let me walk apart from love
Fantasies weaken away by the hour
Lets part ways while our love is still sweet
Rather than watch it slowly sour

Bitter tasting cynicism lingers from the past
Allow me to surrender to fear
Escape the possibility of getting bit or burned
Before goodbye has a chance to get near
We are afraid to care too much in fear that the other person does not care at all
384 · Jan 2018
Bus Ride
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2018
I'm tired of staring out the window,
Waiting for something to change between us,
Knowing that you're on your way to work,
While I am stuck riding the dark school bus.

I know you aren't thinking of me,
You've been busy since winter came around,
There's no room inside of your head,
For feelings you buried in the ground.

I hope you can look into your heart,
Past my immaturity,
And find that you made a big mistake,
Realize you're still in love with me.

Never underestimate the power
Contained in the words "I miss you"
Because if I try hard enough,
I can make you see that you miss me too.

I watch shapes fly by through the glass,
Reminding me that I was left behind,
I'm on my way to school, and today
Could be the day you change your mind.
Written on 12-13-12

Feedback?
384 · Apr 2018
Close To Hell
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2018
Demons come out to play every night
Dancing around my brain til first light
Delighting in my darkest dreams, laughing because I am alone
Insomnia is the closest thing to Hell I have ever known
I used to hate sleepless nights, but they are much easier now that i dont have to spend them alone
384 · Jan 2019
Remaining Reminders
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2019
Looking through the reminders remaining of you
Rush of nostalgia engulfs my body
Ten years passed since we met
Ten years of fractures on my brittle heart
Frozen in hope for better days
Paralyzed in physical photographs
Feeding off broken dreams of us together
Falling to depths of loneliness
Consumed by sadness eternally
Forever sifting through ruins of our love
I wish I wanted to write a happy poem
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2019
After infinite loneliness
Found a way out through you
Your embrace ended that time
But also started something new

No one expected us
To fall so fast but we clicked
Fate was not in our control
By a higher power picked

On our own battling the world
Lost souls swept up in tragedy
Appearing to be angels sent
To take away misery

I love you, all that you do,
If you go can I be found?
My fear gets in the way
Making me hard to stick around

I miss you when you are gone
But return and I don't treat you right
It becomes too risky
Don't bother putting up a fight

Because I would rather be alone
Than see you leave someday
Slowly drift apart in time
Don't know why I'm this way
Written 11/17/18
383 · May 2018
What Did I Do This Time?
Amanda Kay Burke May 2018
It must have been something I've done
What foolish mistake have I made?
Why am I suddenly alone again?
I wish that you had stayed.

I am sorry it's not working out
That this is "too hard" for you
You didn't try to change it though
Look who can be logical too

I am trying not to take it hard
I have cried all that I can cry
Only time can heal this wound
Created the moment you said goodbye

I want to smile to show I am strong
But on my face nothing is there
I doubt it would make a difference anyway
Since you obviously do not care

I feel hollow, barely still here
Wondering why you would leave me behind
And even though you tore my heart out
I'll still be waiting if you ever change your mind.
Written 10/23/10 right after the first guy i really experienced strong feelings for dumped me. It was only a two week relationship but I had liked him for a long time before that. He was a good friend but he mived away and i have no idea what he is doing now
383 · Apr 2020
Sudden Death
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2020
We are all treading water
Trying to keep our heads above the waves

Same game
Different methods of beating bosses in every victorious match

Dealing with maps encountered everywhere progressed in this world
No matter how complicated the terrain or what difficulty the opposition is set to

Just multiple devils disguised as characters to test character and integrity

In the digital world if mistakes are made get to retry levels until you get it right

If you die
That death does not equal a permanent zap out of existence but instead is more like a breif catnap
Then you are magically healed and respawned like a phoenix rising from the ash and ruin

The same miracle does not work like that in reality

When our time comes we are banished from this living hell we have named Earth to reside in a perpetual pitch-black exile

There is no consolation prize
Bonus round
Final scoring or tallying of points to alter the outcome of events
The only resemblance the end of a human beings life has to a video game is the "sudden death" part
If my life was a video game I think it would be something like Kingdom Hearts
383 · Feb 2019
Power Trip
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2019
Got me up all night long
I am falling in love with you
The longest crush I've ever had
And I believe you love me too
All I'm singing is our song
J. Cole was right when he wrote
"Love is a drug like the strongest stuff ever"
It's better than the ***** we pour down our throats
I'm on one now, do you feel it as well?
Though I am sober I feel my senses fly
Because love is the drug that keeps me awake
I spend all night with you high
Inspired by our song Power Trip-J. Cole

I just threw this together it's not a great representation of my skill haha
382 · Apr 2020
My Quiet Place
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2020
My quiet place is no longer quiet

My sanctuary built inside skull  has blood spilled on its white marble walls

This life I escape wormed it's way through and is slowly occupying my refuge

This lifestyle I lead finally overtakes my one area of stability

And now peaceful palace harbored in my head has become a living hell
They say find your happy place but even my happy place is sad now
382 · Feb 2019
Head or Heart?
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2019
When the world tears you apart
Do you follow your head or follow your heart?
Seriously though
382 · Feb 2018
Prison
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2018
I sit enclosed in my prison cell,
Days passing me by in a blur,
Have I lived here for months or years?
Of that I can't say for sure.

Time is twisted up in knots,
Tangled in a crooked maze,
With no clock to keep tabs on it,
The hours are pulled a thousand ways.

These walls seem like they are closing in,
Carefully shifting and changing shape,
I look for a way out of this hell,
But these bars carry no escape.

My prison bears no windows,
It's doors of steel stand strong,
Fear is tearing down my spirit,
I've been here far too long.

I'm held captive in this place,
A hostage to circumstance,
Frozen by broken regret,
I'm trapped in some awful trance.

I act like a puppet, I'm a slave,
To my residual anger and pain,
Instead of me, my emotions are,
Controlling the strings inside of my brain.

I don't understand why I am still bound,
To the cage, my heart resides in,
Each moment I try to free myself,
I am kept back down by sin.

I am shackled to my suffering,
And these bonds are too hard to break,
The cuffs I wear are cast from sorrow,
And the chains forged from heartache.

I'm imprisoned in my own weakness,
A jail of my imaginative design,
I gaze at my reflection,
I honestly can't believe it's mine.

When will I unlock the exit,
So I can open the door finally?
Maybe when I come to realize,
That i am the one who holds the key.
I wrote this on 9/22/17

Feedback is welcomed.
382 · May 2019
In Some Knee Uh
Amanda Kay Burke May 2019
I am kept awake until dawn arrives
Close to clawing out these open eyes
Near to dreams
Far from sleep
Further from the relief I seek

Every night feel taunted
The empty walls of my room
Space beside me sneers silently
Sunrise is coming soon

Sprawled in an asymmetric shape
Restlessly flipping pillows
In bed screaming
Into fistfuls of blankets
Drowning in sheets that billow

"You lost him!"
Written everywhere
Each and every item you touched
It's agonizing how I'm forced to see reminders
As if I did not already miss you too much
An excerpt from the letter I wrote that I'm pretty sure you didn't read

Tried to come up with a witty play on words for the title and failed so I went for a silly title instead
382 · Jun 2018
Do I Or Don't I? (Haiku)
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2018
Should I try and fight
These demons or give up and
Let them have my soul?
382 · Jan 2019
UniVerse
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2019
Those who take a second look
At the inner workings of my mind
Are shocked at the depth of the galaxies
The thoughts drifting through mental space confined
Positive and negative words alike
Twinkle like stars in a cold abyss
Vivid memories of laughter and fun
Images of people I miss
On the surface I may seem dim
But if you take the time to explore
The universe inside my brain
You'll see inside I burn too bright to ignore
Tired and can barely think..
382 · Dec 2019
The Storm Starts
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2019
In morning hours my eyes open
Hurricane starts right away
Cannot stand on unsteady feet
Guess this is the price I pay
Living the past I loved
Abyss of pain
Moments gone
Loneliness the only thing
I truly depend upon
I cannot believe in hollow words
Or your beloved higher power
I can't see it with my two eyes
In my thoughts won't flower
Yet it is hard to wake up by myself
Solitude wears down sanity
Gathers on your possessions
Cursed to repeat this exhausting routine
Hateful emptiness rains onto me
Hate my body
Mind
Heart
And soul
Not for any person around
For the days taking control
I scream at the world letting me fall
Will for faltering under stress
Did smiling become a daunting task?
Do fatigued muscles need more rest?
I do not choose to be unhappy
With a permanent dusty scowl
I open my mouth to speak
Voice sounds more like a growl
I feel hatred bubbling over
With care try to keep it sealed in
The world is chock-full of reminders
Everything will never be the same again
Flat soda filling my coffee mug
Flat broke wishing my pulse would flatline
Mirror's angle exposing each flaw
Life I'm ready to decline
I am a terrible excuse for a person
In a museum of a house
All the rooms are testaments
To lonely feelings I no longer rouse
Living with bruised ego
Legs
And knees
Delayed reflexes
Lay down pride
Funny thing is I'm not a captive
Door is open wide
But I'm a bird
My wings are broken
Irony is that I can't fly
I breathe fresh air on my lonely perch
Love enough to make me cry
Caged in a pool created from tears
Can barely stay afloat
I'm on a flimsy raft
I'm in need of a sturdier boat
Every overwhelming day I face is terrible
People watching how I react
Stuck inside a glass cage
My prison is under attack
I did not end it very well I will admit haha
381 · Dec 2019
I Used To Write Happy Poems
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2019
I remember writing happy poems
Those days are gone
Distant as the star
I have been wishing on

I used to publish pleasing words
Now don't even try
How can I write about the beauty of life?
I want badly to die

I once sung upbeat music
From voice silence stole melody
Every song played through my headphones
Recorded in minor key

I used to write positive things
Thoughts like that visit less and less
Every direction my mind takes
Leads back to unhappiness

I used to create pretty pieces
These days pencil goes to mark
Before reaching the bottom of the paper
Verses take a turn for the dark

It is not that I have writer's block
Inspiration easier than ever to find
Problem is the subject matter
Originates from blackest corners of my mind

I remember arranging sunny stanzas
Covering love
Friendship
And magic
Poetry used to be happy
Now each line will forever stay tragic
So now you know why
381 · Feb 2018
So Much Easier (Haiku)
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2018
I wish I hated
you. It would make goodbye feel
So much easier.
I know it's choppy but I love the meaning behind it.
380 · Dec 2019
I Knew This Day Was Coming
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2019
I suspected this day was coming
Now that it's finally here
Realize I'm not ready
Face my biggest fear

I want to stop desperately
Seems I've tried a lot
Every time I am ready
Stubborn addiction is not

The drugs grab control of me
Steer me straight into a wall
Pull me back into the ditch
Doesn't matter how many times I go through withdrawal

I have learned my lesson the hard way
Much too often to count
Then again the hard way
The only way I've known about

Let the ocean take away
I drown in blue misery
Wash up on some greener shores
World that in comparison is easy

Do not smoke if you can't handle the heat
You're afraid of getting burned
Flames always steal a part
Once gone not always returned

I have given up on finding myself
Buried pieces too deep
Intention was to plant them
No harvest grows to reap

So remain trapped in a cycle
Strapped by only threads
Running from my demons
Tires me as sickness spreads

No one coming to save me
I've toppled overboard
Danced on the very edge
This is my reward

Consume me as I spiral down
Watch me crash in an explosion
Go enjoy the show
Not what I have chosen

When eyes can't stand my reflection
Monster staring back
Use to blur the edges
To smudge all that I lack

Time is always running
One minute after the next
Door to sobriety is always open
In the moment hesitating perplexed

Do not quit because I don't know how
I've done it once before
Daydreaming past recovery
Cannot remember what I did it for

When the silence starts mocking me
Following a great and heavy pause or two
Hold my hand tightly
It will pull me through
Its so hard to just walk away for good
380 · Jun 2018
Love Is Free
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2018
If you watch the next friend's reaction
Or anyone you pay a kind compliment to
Notice a sparkle light up their eyes
If given opportunity spread love, it's free to do!
Spread kindness around like confetti
380 · May 2018
Goes By Faster (Haiku)
Amanda Kay Burke May 2018
When you want nothing
More than to stop time it goes
By even faster
380 · Mar 2018
Already Broken (Haiku)
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2018
Why are we intent
On breaking our hearts more than
We already have?
My ex reached out to me because he is going through something huge in his life and it's brought up a lot of painful feelings that are difficult to feel.
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