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There is so little left,
And still that i need to question.
So untrusting of what i can see, hear or touch,
My senses fooled a thousand times and a thousand times again.

Hardened fortifications blossom,
Bringing perpetual reinforcement.
Working for at least a respite,
From coyote hordes outdoors.

Odysseus waits at the gates,
Educated eyes identify his horses,
Staring straight through the belly of the beasts,
Thwarting threats before they take to action.

King in the learned castle,
To never be fooled again.
Entrenched deep in his defences,
Securing solace through his reclusion.

it is lonely on your own

There is so little left,
This gives forth the question,
so untrusting of what i see, hear, touch but feel?
Perhaps the fraud is mine.

Cynical battlements sprout,
With spores of harsh repairs.
Crusading for disenchantment,
Cry wolf and call coyote.

Teach to never looked beyond the gates,
Focus attention in,
Cowered behind walls and towers,
Forever fearful to lower the bridges.

Lord of what little is leftover,
If any is left at all,
Prisoner to himself,
Until he allow himself to leave.
Ashlee Reyes Sep 19
last night your kisses
made the moon brighter
we'd smoked before
but inhaling you
made me higher.

i went back to my empty apartment
dreamed of you real sweet

but i know better
than to text you
and wish you the
most decent day

i wanna believe in the concept
"ask and it is given"
but i know better
than to expect you to stay
Ahh ****, no matter how I twist and turn things it always seems like I miss
something
It seems
to just be this ******* mess
I want to write exuberant
want to be happy, a big ******* party
But, my cynicism
my slowly increasing bitterness
makes me to the person I hate
So, guess that’s fun
AvengingPoet Jul 9
The hounds of space
Controlling and dictating
Your every thought and feeling
No thoughts for yourself

Out of breath
From the overwhelming data
God I just wanna run from it all
A needle in my ******* arm

I’m just a lurker
Watching the 1’s and 0’s
Explode in a negative fireworks display
Another day, another day...

The hounds of the digital space
Biting and gnawing at you
Drowning in blood
Seeking more and more everyday...
Amanda May 8
I am afraid to go all in
Although I love you so much
Proud I have resisted succumbing
Hide my heart away from your touch

Locked inside a dark cool place
I will be kind but cautious too
Special for a little bit but not for long
Warm and soft glow soon will fall through

You make a perfect Prince Charming
Afraid it's all a game
A chance is the gift I'm giving you
Waiting for proof you're no longer the same

Sincerely I pledge my love to you
We are fated to break somewhere
Wanting to show you the depth of these feelings
With more than words sculpted from air

Fear forms a fence between us
Distance a familiar friend
Passion puts me in a prison cell
Losing power to pain and the impending end

Let me walk apart from love
Fantasies weaken away by the hour
Lets part ways while our love is still sweet
Rather than watch it slowly sour

Bitter tasting cynicism lingers from the past
Allow me to surrender to fear
Escape the possibility of getting bit or burned
Before goodbye has a chance to get near
We are afraid to care too much in fear that the other person does not care at all
Kat Apr 10
They think
I am so kind
They see my
Awkward apologies
Offers to help
Smiles at strangers
Kind words to people
Who are not kind back
They call me cheerful
Optimistic
Opportunistic
They think I’m motivated
Not melancholy
But they’d never know
That inside me lies the ice
Of apathy
Of cynicism
Cold in my stomach
Cold in my soul
They'd never know
That sometimes
When I can’t take it anymore
The chill spreads
Creeps into my bones
Wraps its ghostly fingers
Around my heart
My gut
My lungs
And I can no longer hold in
My thoughts:
Nothing matters
We’re all going to die
People are evil
Want an example?
Just listen to the news
Just listen to my story
Friendships fade
People pass away
The world is filled
With so much ******* pain

They don’t know
And when I explode
They are surprised
Shouldn’t have been surprised
This is how I deal with the world
Hide behind a facade
No one wants to be friends
With a cynic
But one day this cynicism
This apathy
Will freeze me solid
See
I have walked through fire
Fought embers of anger
And I like to say
I am a phoenix
Who can rise again
From the ashes
But I know
I was not made
To withstand the cold

They think
They know me
But they don’t know this thing
That lies in wait
Waiting to envelop me
Entirely
To kiss my lips
Until they crack
To freeze my brittle bones
Till they break in two
To destroy my skin
Till it turns black and dead
To distort my pretty face
Into a twisted grimace
To leave me a frozen corpse
To lie forever
In the eternity
Of this cruel world
I wrote this poem about one of my D&D characters, but it draws upon some of my experiences with feeling apathetic and cynical when depressed/anxious.
Kat Apr 10
I am so tired of this pain

Sometimes it’s physical -
The dull ache of muscles permanently tight
The sharpness of a joint flared up
The stinging and burning of an injection
The constant throb of a perpetual headache
This pain
Contorts my face into grimaces
Clenches my hands into white-knuckles fists
Arches my back when I want to stay still
Tears cries from my lips when I want to stay silent

Sometimes it’s emotional —
Anger settling in my gut like a slow-burning fire
Fear turning my stomach to a bottomless pit
Sorrow ripping my heart and squeezing my chest tight
This pain
Makes tears flow down my cheeks like drops of rain
Leaves me languishing in lethargy till I have nothing left
Leaves me shaking in a ball, too scared for comfort

Parasitic pain
Burying into my calm
Eroding at my resolve
Until it crumbles like a building in a quake
Until I explode
And the glass of my windows shatters
And the fire in my stomach flares up
And consumes me whole
Until I scream at the ones I love
Until I tell them how nothing matters
Until I break free of my facade
Of calm and kindness and concern
Exposing the raw cynic beneath
Until I keep doing it
Until it breaks me
Until I lose anything and everything
I have ever loved
Until I tell myself to stop
And I don't  
Because hurting others
Hurts me
And although I have already
Hurt so much
I still feel like
I need to hurt more
Ylzm Apr 5
Be inspired not from without
of those you imagined yourself desirous to be
but rather be inspired from within
from discovering the unique self you truly are
the one you and the world never knew
the mystery and the wonder the world awaits to see
and the reason that is truly your reason for being

But the world demands success
defined from templates of history
imposed without care for who you are
but only for what you count for them
you, seduced with morsels and crumbs,
freely choose to be slave for their profits

And so alas the world lost
the truly free alienated

becoming

one weary hungry step at a time
discovery drifts to disillusion
mystery remains mystery
wonder turns to ruin,
despair and cynicism
the flicker of reason
burns dim
if only
on hope
of

eternity
EricM Mar 8
In the passenger seat of my car
You on top in a black dress
Your skirt hiked up above your waist
It was cramped
You struggled to maneuver
But it's always like this
Or so it seems
Things go right in my life
More often than my dreams
Juhlhaus Jan 17
On a misty city morning
still resolved to early rising
I came upon a heap of corpses

They were child sacrifices
made to satisfy the fancy
of Christian capitalist and pagan
and a jolly old fat man
who lives at the North Pole

They might have been

growing tall
in a field or on a hill
drinking sunlight
breathing love songs
in answer to caress of wind

But the silent pines
didn't seem to mind
their broken bodies one last gift
filling my chest with fragrant air
and longings
for fields and hills
on a misty city morning
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