We are all treading water Trying to keep our heads above the waves
Same game Different methods of beating bosses in every victorious match
Dealing with maps encountered everywhere progressed in this world No matter how complicated the terrain or what difficulty the opposition is set to
Just multiple devils disguised as characters to test character and integrity
In the digital world if mistakes are made get to retry levels until you get it right
If you die That death does not equal a permanent zap out of existence but instead is more like a breif catnap Then you are magically healed and respawned like a phoenix rising from the ash and ruin
The same miracle does not work like that in reality
When our time comes we are banished from this living hell we have named Earth to reside in a perpetual pitch-black exile
There is no consolation prize Bonus round Final scoring or tallying of points to alter the outcome of events The only resemblance the end of a human beings life has to a video game is the "sudden death" part
If my life was a video game I think it would be something like Kingdom Hearts
I was taught many things. To read, write, to think. Why, were we never taught to process our hurt. The smallest pin *****, a devastating blow to an airtight seal. That holds us all together. A lesson so important. Yet often forgotten. Hold fast, push forward. Tomorrow is another day. And with it comes another lesson. May you soon have knowledge of what you seek.
Close your eyes Slowly now, Breathe in Breathe out It's okay You're safe I know it was hell, But it's over now You're going to be okay You're going to be sad You're going to be confused You're going to be angry But in the end You're going to be okay You're going to smile again It's over now
Tell me when I'm gonna live again Tell me when this fear will end Tell me when I'm gonna feel inside Tell me when I'll feel alive - Skillet, "Rebirthing"
There are a lot of Others out there trying to make Their voice heard in this world Trying to let people know Their (shared) sorrows Trying to tell Their stories, fact and fiction about friendship & opposition loss & gain hurt & healing through weakness and pain to courageous and strong Trying to.
My voice is just Another voice amongst so many Others just like me Trying to stand out in a crowd of voices just as important needed as me. Just as unique and special and needy of a listening ear as me.
Will I not? open my heart to all the Others and be the listen and care they need to try on While my own is left on its own strength that I need to stay strong for the Others
It will struggle…
… but survive with the glow that loving Others brings Healing the broken supporting the weak encouraging the little igniting the strong.
It will glow and grow stronger For I want to and will.
There is nothing left for you to fix There is nothing left for you to say I guess you really did all that to have everything play out your way.
I was so careless I was a mess Somehow my mind you managed to undress I cared about your happiness that for a brief moment I left myself behind In a puddle of distress In a empty pattern of unstableness.
I was born with wings that you tried to cut through There was a disguise that prevented me from seeing the real you. Giving you time to convince me that you cared about me too.. I guess this is your cue...
I guess the last thing I want to say to you is: I hope the next time you look a female in the eye, you select to be true.
A past experience that no longer hurts But definitely a hard time that felt the worst.
it hurts they don't tell you that it hurts. that your chest gets too tight and aches, and your lungs gasp and scream for air while your throat stings, and your eyes swell and burn from scalding tears that you can't stop no matter how much you want to.
they don't tell you that all your muscles scream the next day from tensing up. they don't tell you that there's no way to stop them. they don't tell you that they don't just affect your body. they overtake your mind. every illogical fear, every small worry, magnified until they've grown into a monolith of overwhelming panic crushing you under its weight.
no. they dont tell you any of that at all.
why don't they tell you any of that at all?
it's heavy. it weighs so heavily on you all day. there's pain in your heart as soon as you awake from fitful and restless sleep. you know it's coming most of the time. you can feel it in the uneasy heartbeats just a little too fast, the little stressors seeming bigger than they should. it does so much damage; big, heavy panic. destroys you while it's there, and most of the time after it goes away, too.
i've been dealing with panic attacks, so here's a little glimpse. thank you to any readers **
Its voice in my head is almost silent I have pushed it back so far, I barely hear its weeping The tell tale sting in my eye The congestion starting now I try to push it back again But this time i went to far Bottled monsters dont want to stay Cramped and shoved all the way in They want out But i want them in! I struggle to keep them back As my defense weaks they grow stronger Waiting for a chance to erupt out of me Like fire from a dragon's mouth Lava from a volcano First one breaks free Then another And before I know it Im a screaming, crying Snotting, Stomping, And then it stops. The calm in the storm i Calm down reevaluate Breath deeply And its gone im fine! I was always fine You told me i was fine didnt you? You always were there for me werent you You were there when it happened You did not leave me did you You told me to let them out didnt you?? You would NEVER allow me to hurt my self this way! Would you? You love me right? Yeah i know i love you too.