Late night Macca-run,
Busted up hand-me-down car
Rattling along the rocky road
With his warm hoodie draped around me
Like a toga with a Supreme sticker.

AC's turned off in traffic
As the night breeze is all we need
To enjoy this comfortable night
In his car, together.

I order a hot chocolate.
He orders a cheeseburger.
And we share the fries,
And I drain his pepsi
Until all there is
Is a pile of melted ice
And the soft pallet of knock-off cola
- in which both of us refuse to drink the leftover contents.

The cup is still warm in my hands,
And the car smells of fried food and cocoa powder.
His eyes are focused on the road,
While mine are focused elsewhere.

Soon,
He drops me home,
and ditches the trash.
And that was the end of our quiet late-night dinner-date.

Be not the Clown,
But the Joker.
Don't wear the pendant,
Wear the choker.

Please, take your time,
But only if you hurry.
However, do not stress,
Unless I tell you to worry.

**** yourself,
But **** me first.
Believe in fortune,
Believe you're cursed.

Look good in white,
Look great in black.
Come here tomorrow,
and never come back.

Vote one way and please vote the other.
Hate your rival, yet love their mother.
Take down notes and burn them all away,
Collect the ashes and do your chores for the day.

You gotta be smarter,
But you better be dumb.
Play the violin,
But bang the drum.

And the most important thing of all
Is to never take anyone's advice EVER.
- Because everyone on God's green Earth
Think they're so **** clever.

To be a gentleman in a Chatroom,
One must always introduce themselves as a number.
As an age.
To inform the fine maidens of the Chatroom that,
'Yes! I am legal.'
So that way they feel obliged to tell you:
'Why, I am too!'

You must also accompany such a number with your gender.
Just so that they won't get confused,
And know that you are a
masculine
manly man
of manliness.

It is of the Gentleman's Etiquette to note your existence afterwards.
A simple 'Here' would suit.
Or spice it up with a
'You?'
Afterwards.

Make sure you always ask how your possible future **** partner is feeling, it's only polite. If they say
'I'm feeling wonderful, how about you?'
or
'My day's been ghastly. How about yours?'
- No matter what the answer, make sure to reply with a steady:
'Nothing much', or if you're feeling impatient, 'nm'
Just to show that no, you don't really care
and want to get straight into business.

- Which shows that you are a man with a clear goal in mind, and as we all know, women adore men with confidence!

The next step is the bargain.
You need to sell yourself to the feline with flair,
Ferocity,
Wit, style, charisma.

'Wanna ****?'

And if they reject your courteous advances, all you can do is tip your hat and carry on to the next lady in waiting.

Our genesis,
The foundations of us,
Was architecturally unsound.
A mistake.
A footprint left in wet cement,
Once dried, it's for all to see.
To point at. To laugh at.

Our genesis; A mistake.
We were the two girls
That shouldn't have held hands so liberally
During the school culture festival.
Two girls.
Who know a broken heart,
Tried to tie our halves together in a twisted knot,
All to get over our previous loves, previous lives,
And try to move on with something fresh on our fragile minds
And immortal, frail, hearts.

You stitched my heart back together within a few days,
So I'm sorry that I wasn't enough to stitch yours within years.

i'm sorry that me nervously tapping on the table
annoys you
sara,
but like,
it's not as if i can just
not
have anxiety
or anything.

is there anybody out there
anybody
any body.
who experiences the pain i feel right
here.

Spider in my room.
Tucked away in the corner.
I know you are there.

A thousand words written
On this pretty little layout
Of a cute minimal website,
Made of numbers and lines of code,
Made of people whose poems are told
Because now they have a place to go.

DON.
ka
DON DON.
ka
Repetitive rhythms,
Palms burning red.
All in unison, we bang the center -
And hit the drum's edge,

The audience
below
can feel the rumble
in their hearts:

Taiko.

I bathe in my past mistakes to remind myself that they are there.
    
            - The wine is hard to wash off my skin.

sand sticks onto my legs
as i crawl out of the water.

stench of salt in my hair,
as i walk the shoreline.

french fry in gull's beak,
as i toss my food away.

god i love the beach.

The ones with blurred faces
Knocked down my door last night
And tugged at my limbs with such desperation
- A rigorous exercise.

Their hands, rattling in a sharp neon glow
Stole away many things as they held me down
And shone the bright lights into my eyes,
Turning my pupils into hollowed colour:

Trust.
Potential.
Innocence.
Friendship.

All gone.
All taken.
All dead.
During the break-in.

I missed the bus seconds after the last passenger boarded.

Now I sit here alone,
Waiting for another vessel
To drag me to my destination.

The air is cold,
And my heart is still thumping away
Due to physical exertion to reach the thing I missed -
But like everything else,
My hopes,
My dreams,
They're too far to reach.

I don't know how to end this
But mention the tiny speckle of headlights
And the roar of the large vehicle in the distance.
So now I think:
'There's always another bus.'

I am the slither of fur in the night,
Glint of moonlight which captures the sleek
silver
of a cat's back
And the ghostly glow
of a cat's eyes.

An insect.
That crawls upon my body, except I can't quickly swat it away
Without causing attention to myself
and everyone noticing that my
white ******* are pulled
all the way down
to my ankles.

My lips are dry so I bite them.
Knuckles whitening while I hold onto the grip-strap
And I hear his heavy breathing against my neck.
I look at the tunnels, quickly passing by.
'Maybe this will end fast too?'

Naive of me to think so.

Sliding into my flower
Like a toxic, little aphid.
Stuck on my sticky leaves
As petals are parted and

I pour out of the open doors in Shinjuku station,
And run out, wiping a tear on my sleeve.
I tug up my decency
While I run to the ticket booth.
Angry foreigner was yelling at the old man who sits within.
The clock above strikes eight.
I decide that it's not worth it.
I won't tell anyone.
It doesn't matter.
Could be worse.
It's okay.
I'm okay.







I wasn't okay.

I watched as my heart was wrenched out of my body.
I watched as the blade twisted into my chest,
And punctured my lungs so I couldn’t breathe.

As the sword withdrew,
My heart spilled out and lay beating on the floor,
And she didn’t even carry a look that indicated the words:

“I’m sorry.”

I don't mind when white people wear

cat ears.
seifuku.
kimono.
kanji slapped on shirts.
(even if they don't know what it means)

Culture can be an aesthetic.
Just as long as they appreciate it,
We're friends.

will someone please **** my tired body
until i fall into a million pieces
and you pick me up and put
me together again just so
you can add another
line to the tally of
girls you ****?
you *******.
i hate you.

don't hold me so close
please, let me go.

i refuse to be owned
by you, by anyone

set this spirit free
before this girl goes home.

i sit here in this classroom,

detached.

away from the others
while the tutor's voice blends into the walls
and i fail to melt into it with others' ears.

I can own
seven wonderful tiny old rectangular turquoise Sri Lankan Jaguars.

But I cannot own
seven Sri Lankan wonderful rectangular old tiny turquoise Jaguars.

No.
That makes me sound crazy.

Exam room.
Air as still as dead,
Then I hear it:
Pencil.
R o l l i n g off the edg
e -
But the person catches it just in time.

I sigh in relief.

"i can't do anything right"
she says to me

"You can do plenty."
I say to her.

"not really"
she says to me

"Well, you can be here with me."
I say to her.

"anyone can do that"
she says to me

"No. Only you."
I say to her.

Be my friend and I will save your life.

Betray me once and I will spare it.

betray me twice and I will take it.

betray me thrice and
wow, carol,
did you really have to be a ***** today?
what is wrong with you.

The sweet scent of the air in spring makes me feel...


Disconnected.


Should I remember the flowers that bloomed?
Or past relationships that withered?

Perhaps my several trips to the seaside?
Or would I just drown in worries?

The comfortable combination of
Warm sunshine,
Cool breeze?
Or the painful sting of
Burning
Betrayal?

Though it is a new season, in a new year,
I can't help but feel aged with burden.

Grey days are when the clouds puff a tantrum,
Smoking the sky out of its cozy, azure, play-space
With a big fuzzy blanket that covers the high plains,
And no holes for the blue to poke through.

Occasionally, they spout out their tears
And pelt the poor people below
With a loaded water pistol.

And such people sprout out umbrellas,
Or search for storm's shelter,

Yet one person always prefers to drown in clouds' melancholy.

I don't know much about you,
Handsome stranger,
And I shouldn't want to know you at all.

I love my lover, dear stranger.
You harbor no thought of me. And if such lust blooms,
I'm forced to wilt in guilt.

Adieu.

shoreline littered

broken shells,

bits of seagrapes,

parts of a dead crab,

and footprints.

Hope.
With ugly, battering wings -
Fritters away its feathers in its cage.

It is the cage that encases my entrails.
It perches on my bones,
And its sweet tweets echo within

The nothing that is my body.
No, I won't be convinced by you today, little bird.
As if things will ever get any better.

Hope.
With its sharp, red beak.
Pecks away at me -

Until there's no lies to be said,
And no one to hear them.
No one at all.

free spirit bound tightly.

the equivalent
of keeping a wild tiger
as a house kitty.

you may gag my mouth
you may bind my wrists
you may stimulate
you may penetrate

you may humiliate

but though i am your slave
I am still my own master.

**** the deadline.
****** the word limit.
maul the teacher.
tight sentences,
so concise,
stabs my heart
wasn't worth it at all.

i just want a kiss.
one movie scene kiss
something electric
something delicious
tongues intertwined
twisting in a wicked tango
arms wrapped around your neck -
like a koala on a tree
fingers running through my hair -
like a cheetah in wild plains

i just want a kiss.
explore my mouth,
you don't need a map -
don't hesitate -
just kiss me
make it work -
make it happen -

make me yours.

I wish I could fly
And visit all of my friends
Before they are gone.

Aki for Autumn,
Haru for Spring.
I hate karaoke,
Because I can't sing.

I bet that man,
he with his white cap,
smashed my box against the wall
as he so carelessly
dumped
my package on the doorstep.

I made this skirt from
Pierre Cardin's spring collection
Where a thief stole a pound, and I paid a nickle.

I made this shirt from
A pretty curtain
That I ripped out of a groovy bungalow

I made this bracelet from
Beads drifting down river Arakawa
A child's beads, probably thrown in a tantrum.

I made this pendant from
A glass marble from a goldfish bowl
In the small classroom of an elementary school

I found my socks in a dumpster.
I found my shoes in a runaway train.
I found my coat on the shoulders of a model.

And so I plead not guilty.

Tired eyes carried the bags that sank
Descending on ones features,
All heavy and rounded,
Two moons once full became born
Anew.

The leaf latched onto the thin branch near the brook.
But even leaves, as simple as they are, know when to let go and trust the wind to take them.

You are my life support.
And I am plagued by the past.

Call me beautiful like it's the only thing
Keeping me breathing.

Kiss me like you mean it,
Your love is my medicine.

You are my life support.
Be forever bound to me.

Liquor was meant to fill the hole
You drilled into my heart.
Your absence is clear.

And you tore off the patch when you left,
Letting my mind guzzle empty.
So it doesn't even matter.

I can drink,
And drink,
And drink,

But I can never be full.
Not again.
Not after you.

this man,
and this woman.

this man,
and this man.

this woman,
and this woman.

this person,
and this person.

this love,
and this love.

When the smallest thing happens to me, I think:

"take my life away
just do it
i don't wanna be here anymore
like seriously,what the ****
kms."

The mist that leaves the vapour in the morn
Crafts fragile drops of aqua,
Gently glides down the windows
Of an empty classroom.

Crisp cold enters from rough winter winds,
The doors would shut themselves,
As a gentle shower of rain would burst from the big grey blanket
That carpeted the skies.

Rain would fall.
Pitter
Patter,
Pitter,
Patter,
Upon the tin roof.

As I watched more of those soft, small orbs of water stream down the chilled glass.

There is a stillness preserved for sturdy buildings.

They contrast the nature that swings:
The shake of a tree,
The leaves that wiggle
And
t
  w
    i
  r
     l
off their twigs in the prettiest of ways.

- Yes, a concrete jungle is still a jungle
But there's no flutter, no movement, no beauty.

That girl.
Lone, on the bays,
So beautiful
That she draws the tide
To near her
Just so the ocean
Could know her
Grace.

I paint the picture with pastel colors.
Dotting the sky in pink clouds
While the horizon lay in an amber slumber.
A single pine tree slanted towards the crystal lake;
I draw another for companionship.
And it soon blooms into a forest
With shrubs and blackberry bushes and ferns,
Then I make a ripple in the lake
With leaves that drift along the gentle current
To the farther edges of the tender loch.

I envisioned the clear waters of the wetlands
As I cleaned my pallet and washed away the paint,
Like how painting landscapes washed away my worries.

I felt like I shot myself that night,
When I blamed life for all of my problems.
I felt like I hung myself with the tough rope that dawn,
When I blamed the other for making me feel such strong emotions.
I felt like I choked myself on water,
Filling my lungs with it that day
I stared at Death in the eyes and he could only muster a raw cackle.
I do this to myself.

Seven spotted ladybird,
Dancing in my mind.

Its shade a deep burgundy,
with a slight shine that sparkled
under the soft rays of the sun.

It wobbled its way across the hood of car.
And I poked it gently,
Making it clumsily fall on its back in the driveway.

I cupped the tiny thing in my hands,
And eventually, it flew away.