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Arisa May 2019
Rosé
Tumbles down my throat
As I shove in M n' M's soon after.

I watch Gravity Falls in the meantime,
Wiping the teary mascara with a tissue -
And thinking:

"Wow. How did I get here?"
Arisa Apr 2019
Starry night.
Little uneven polka dots -
Precious as pearls.

I fell in love with a star once.
But like the celestial marbles above,
He burned out before I could call him mine.

I make a wish on a dying star,
Knowing it'll never reach him.
Arisa Mar 2019
The warmth of the sun
Vanishes prematurely.
Light on pale skin fades to shadows

But they hold my hand,
Like a toddler to a teddy,
And never vanish, nor envelop.

No pain, but not numb.
Cold, but not freezing.
It's night. And this is fine.
I used to have a fear of the dark. Now I see the night is beautiful.
Arisa Mar 2019
Sweetie,

I'm sorry that I keep staring at the other boys.
And keep thinking of the other girls,

But if I'm being honest,

If you ever left me
Love would be a forgotten feeling
That I never want to reclaim.

I may crave the skin of others,
But my beating heart is in your hands.
I feel sick.
Arisa Mar 2019
My pursuit of happiness is caught in a cab,
and hell is my driver.
i don't even know.
Arisa Oct 2019
the night air is cold on my back; naked
white, glistening in moon's light
the glint of her silver combs my hair
caresses the cheek of all who dare gaze beyond
her lustrous face.

dotted by pearl freckles that pale her complexion,
brings beauty to nightfall.

o blissful treasure,
take me in my ascent
to your humble home
of crag and dust.

my celestial shore rests on the lunar frontier;
tucked in the embrace of space.
Another poem about my muse.
Arisa Mar 2019
I ****** the stage with silence so the audience anticipates the articulation of words that soon spill out of my mouth.

The show lights blind my eyes so all I can see are headless ghosts sitting in rows, neatly compact in a spiritual communion.

My mind stutters, body shudders, yet the line is plain to see as it was painted on my lips - ready to perform, ready to be spoken.

Narration courses through my lungs to produce cornered speech, creating an introductory-zone for the others to encroach behind me

And there we were, separated into our own character beams while I stood with shallow confidence at the forefront.

Though I'm not a main lead,
or a side character,
or a set piece,
I am the narrator.
I carry the weight of the story,
And I carry the ears of those who listen.
I was never an expressive actor, but the small roles I was given at school plays  and home-brewed sketches I was grateful for.
Arisa Mar 2019
The phone is ringing
but I don't want to get out of bed.

I'm a caterpillar stuck in a cocoon.
It's not my time to flourish -
no one else is home.

So I guess I have no choice but to be the butterfly
Then crawl back into my casing once more.
I was feeling very lazy this morning.
Arisa Mar 2019
Mist may hide mountains,
But nothing covers my smile
When my eyes grasp you.
An old haiku made while waiting for my date.
Arisa Mar 2019
The low cloud above the hill
Would cling to the top of the tallest tree,
And yet no memory of us
Would cling to me the way nature illustrates.

Not forgetfulness, my love.
Not out of spite, my dear.
Just a watercolor of the way we were.
And don't lie, we weren't happy.

Those days where we sat in front of a konbini,
Long after-school after-noons,
Ended far too soon.
Ended far too quiet.

You would stare, stare, stare a storm.
A tempest that I could not see despite examining you for a lifetime.
They said we looked perfect together.
But you never looked at me the way you would the distance.

So instead the distance stood in between me and you,
Kota.
I was so ready to love you.
But we bit off more than we could chew.
An open letter to my first love. I still feel so much for him...
So it hurts me still.
Arisa Mar 2019
i'm sorry.
the leftover pizza
hidden in the back of the fridge,
just looked so tasty.

- the smell of pepperoni still lingers on my shirt.
I was hungry, okay?
Arisa Mar 2019
my name is arisa
my ******* are bouncy,
and I think my ******* are too big
for their small size.

I have a birthmark under my eye
I think it's shaped like a rabbit
but the boys at school say it's
shaped like a fat *****.

I'm a little chubby around my hips
and because of that people think
I'm fat.
But I don't weigh that much at all.
54 kg.

I've had *** with a boy before
In the cold school gym -
after school, on a friday.
We both had cleaning duty.
I dropped my volleyball and bent over to pick it up.
He was watching.
He liked it.
So I kissed him
Since I didn't know any other boys who
watched
and who
liked
At the same time.
It was on the P.E. mats used for gymnastics and pole jumping.
No ******,
but he pulled out okay.
We never spoke at all after that.

I cut my own hair since my mother is an alcoholic
a caffeine addict
and cannot sleep at all.

I had an older brother
but he was stillborn.
He would've been 23 by now.
I bet he would've went to a good university.
And studied something tough, like physics or chemistry.

my name is arisa.
this is what I suffer,
this is what I make.
do with it as you wish.
I made myself vulnerable for people to know me better. Everyone labels me as the quiet, reserved, modest girl. I'd rather get that all out of the way.
Arisa Mar 2019
i think i'm in love
with a man drunk on the moon
i think he's a wolf
I was severely bored when I wrote this.
Arisa Mar 2019
Fuyu for Winter,
Natsu for Summer.
I find no ***** to give,
So that's a huge ******.
I often find people come to me to talk about their feelings because I'm a 'Good Listener' - What they don't know is that I'm only a good listener because I have nothing to say. Because of this, I come off as cold and a tad mysterious.
Arisa Mar 2019
I need baby bars on my bed
To keep me from falling
On my head.

- Sincerely, I'm a wild dreamer.
I wake up in the morning on the floor. I need help.
Arisa Apr 2019
I wanna eat something
but it won't fill me up
only drag me down.
Arisa Mar 2019
You.
Open me with your thoughts, you.
Untie me of my burdens instead of bounding my hands.

Miracle worker.
Enter me. Never leave.
i don't even know
Arisa Mar 2019
You're not depressed.
You're just ******* yourself.
Take a day off,
Drink more water,
Works for me every time.
Better yet take a vacation.
Go to Bali for shopping spree,
The beach and the sun will do you good.
Change your diet, you lack iron, obviously.
Replace the word 'Anxious' with 'Excited'
- It will make you feel wholesome.
Take some yoga classes,
Buy yourself a cute puppy,
They increase endorphin levels.
Ice cream is cheaper than therapy! Eat some of that too.
There is also another cure - Jesus. Jesus loves you.
Cheer up, honey!
It's all in your head!
Don't let it affect you!
You're not depressed!
This is all t e m p o r a r y .
I hate people who talk like this to me.
Arisa Mar 2019
I look up to the moon late at night.
My long legs dangle off a park bench,
Hands gripping onto the edge of the table.

I'm happy there's no old gum stuck underneath.

Erena plays a song from her iphone,
It blared from her speakers like wildfire
Never the less, it suited the mood.

I ask her, what are you playing?
"なんでもない"- "It's nothing."
I shrugged.

We noticed how big the moon was that night.
Big, bright, boisterous.
Showing off its curves,
Spots, blemishes, imperfections.
I wish I was that confident.

Moon,
I see you.
How does it feel to be watched by so many insecure, lonely people?

Moon,
Please answer,
Are you as confident as you seem, so high above?

Or,
Maybe,
You're just like us.
Recalling a summer night in the park with an old friend of mine. Erena.

— The End —