unadded, exiled from the kingdom
i think back to his enchanting features
and weep bitterly, proclaiming:
oh, woe is me, a person exiled from
the city walls which guards against barbarians

Pounding, the parade of drums that pound in my chest.
Shrinking, both my lungs and my body that deflate.
Pouring, sweat pouring out of each pour in my skin, dripping down into a puddle of tears.
My ears feel as if they're waiting to pop, my mind departs from my body as it ascends to the atmosphere above.
Lost, I feel lost as my reflection stares back at me.
The name I was given feels foreign on my tongue as I repeat it over and over hoping it will come back.
As my name crawls away like a scared child I lose recognition of who I was.

Who am I
What am I

As I continue to stare into my soulless eyes, my name is there in the back of my head.
This name is not the one that crawled away from me, but it's a name I'm crawling too.
My hunched over figure perks up like a flower after a downpour
I hold my hand and grasp onto the name that found me.

I know who I am
I know what I am

The light flickers in the night sky
Chains tighten around my heart, tugging as it tries to escape the black hole that consumes me
Fire burns in my eyes as they’re being set ablaze by the sight they can’t yet see
Heat rises to my cheeks like an active volcano erupting from being idol for too long
I am a dying star waiting to burst into shards of colour that can pierce your soul
I am a nebula bound to catch your eye, you are light years away, I am out of your reach inside the glass doors that hold me captive
Hiding away in the small room where one keeps their clothes, the colours of the stars leak through the cracks underneath the doors trying to reach you

The stars
That created us
Formed our souls
So we were perfect
For each other.
You and I are stardust
Our souls connect
We are a star
In human form.
I know your soul
I love your soul.

i dream of
running my hands through
his black curls
but his heart is obsidian
and i am an iron pickaxe

though i may want you
i don't want to hold your hand
backtrack any thoughts or words
written with you in mind
regret devoting so much
time and energy to study your features
or wondering whether you can end up
making the mistake of being with me

a slurry of fire and magma can’t escape
through the crust, being stopped by a
thin layer of earth, unable to express
itself, to wreak havoc upon the earth.

it’s passion is bottled up, its fear is contained,
his fury is sealed, saved for another day
when it can express its emotion.
but now, the crust encases it like a weighted blanket

i cannot tell where you stand
or what you think of me
do you tread on dry land,
or do you go through the sea?

your signs are unreadable, your lips are
divine, perhaps a sign that
you are like a traffic light going back
to green, or to red, to tell me to slow my car

but i can’t stop, it’s on a hill
and the brake-line is cut  
and as i gaze out of my windowsill
and see a tree sprouting chestnuts

and they ask me:
why do you subscribe to spotify premium?
and i say that it’s only to put the song
by the smiths with his name on loop
that i might hear his name spoke

your eyes inject me like fentanyl
making me addicted
making me dependent on every glance to live
i’m addicted to your smile, your charm
and all that’s you