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cat 6d
what a heavy heart i hold
when an ex-lover tells me
of his 2a.m. window
how he stares through it and cries
he longs to be held,
by anyone, though not me
but i can sing for him
through little videos of folk
and little words of honey
"I'm older now than I have any right to be
Old enough to repaint and young enough to sell
I feel tired
I want to be held
I'm just
I told him once how life was short,
but love grew old
My trust is nervous
he has the right to be so dear to me
I'll hold this pain forever
I'll let it rest within
every weathering and lacing moment
where the knots in his hair have been
I still have this window
I still have his heart
I still feel his warmth
even without him
Arisa Mar 12
Be my friend and I will save your life.

Betray me once and I will spare it.

betray me twice and I will take it.

betray me thrice and
wow, carol,
did you really have to be a ***** today?
what is wrong with you.
We all have that one ***** tbh
cat Mar 7
he allows himself to rest,
forgetting his uncertainties
and just lets go
no mas puede llevar las cosas
que tiene que llevar
para vivir otro dia
to face the life of Everyman
challenged of his lusts
forsaken of companionship
oh hijo mio que vivía valiente
taking his first step into the void
duerme pa siempre
querido del mundo
and one of all man
Nomkhumbulwa Feb 27
You were my everything,
I've always known  you were special.
But only now I realise,
How much I needed you my little girl.

You were my constant companion,
Never left me alone,
Always by my side,
Even after I left you alone.

You forgave me everytime,
I left you home alone,
Sometimes months at a time,
I was gone.

You trusted me always,
At the door on my return,
Waiting to greet me,
But I could tell you were concerned.

You had been abandoned,
Early in life,
I know you had a difficult start
Moving from shelter to shelter is no life.

We were supposed to be together,
I knew I needed to help you,
Rescue you from a sad untimely death,
And give you a loving home.

You had nowhere to go,
All those years ago
I couldnt let you die.,
You had to come and be mine.

You were more than just company,
You were a true friend,
They told me you didnt like cuddles,
But I found out thats all you wanted in the end.

You helped me more than any human,
You were so loving and kind,
You understood everything about me,
You were there when I lost my mind.

You let me cry on you,
You saw me cut myself,
But you never ran away,
Although I know you didnt want me to cut.

I loved you very much,
And I know you loved me too,
And I hope that you understood
How much I really loved you.

You saved my life one morning,
When our smoke alarms failed,
The house filling with smoke at 5am,
You got me out of bed.

Even Qasem loved you,
For when I was stuck in hospital,
He got over his fear as a Muslim,
He made friends with you, didnt mind your poo.

I always knew how you felt,
You showed me your disgust,
When I brought home the school gerbils,
And you pooped on my bed in disgust.

You looked after me in Aberdeenshire,
As I looked after you,
I know our house was very cold,
You got used to the coal fire so soon.

You helped me move back to Arran,
Im sorry for how stressful that was,
Such a long time to spend in a box,
But we had no choice but for trains, boats and bus.

I had lived here before,
But for you it was all very new,
Yet you adapted so quickly,
Walked out of your box, like you knew.

I know you were happy on Arran,
You settled in so quickly,
It was liked you'd always lived here,
Maybe because we were close to the sea.

My people got fewer and fewer,
But your loyalty was forever,
I know sometimes you were hungry,
We were both hungry at these times.

I never meant to neglect you,
And I know you understood,
I'd do anything so you didnt go hungry,
When I couldnt get out of bed.

I cooked fish from the freezer,
Though I know it wasnt your favourite,
I never meant to make you sick,
Your body just wasnt used to it.

I am sorry for how much I left you,
You lit up my life when I returned,
I trusted the people left to feed you,
Knew they'd take care of you while I was gone.

I was so happy to see you,
Looking healthy and content,
With your bright yellow eyes shining,
And your comforting purr of content.

Thank you for looking after me,
Many times you kept me going,
Although I have wanted to die,
I could never leave you my darling.

I had to stay alive,
I know you needed me,
No one else could be here for you,
And I know how much you loved me.

I may have gone away at times,
But I was always pleased to see you,
I knew you were here waiting,
And I always thought about you.

You became my only companion,
Nearly everyone else had gone,
You showed so much compassion,
You never left me alone.

I got to know you so well,
You went out a little in the sun,
But you never wandered far,
Wanting the door left open for a quick return.

Im sorry for the times you got stuck outside,
I know it didnt happen a lot,
But you always went to hide somewhere,
I know the fear now, it can be too much.

I know how it feels now,
I get the panic and fear too,
My legs collapse for no reason,
I know how it must have been for you.

When you got so sick,
I hated seeing you in pain,
But I knew you still wanted to be here,
And I kept promising, mummy will end the pain.

You were like a little angel,
Took your medicine so well,
Let me feed you by syringe,
You wanted to be here still, I could tell.

But then you were in such pain,
All night you'd lie so close to me,
Resting your bleeding tumour
Against my neck, the pain I could see.

Then I knew you didnt want to be here,
You were tired and had had enough,
You looked at me, trusted me to end your pain,
The tumour bleeding, swollen, you couldnt close your mouth.

I knew when you sat out in the cold,
You wanted it to end,
You were hoping you would die,
But I didnt want you to starve, so your body was still strong.

I could see you were in pain,
I could feel it too,
I even got used to the smell of your tumour,
So close to my face, as I tried to comfort you.

I'd wanted to give you diazepam,
But I knew from my training its not right,
But I did give you extra pain killers,
On your very last night.

I didnt want you to suffer,
Anymore than you were,
And it seemed to help you settle,
And these nights would now be no more.  

Mummy asked the vet to come tomorrow,
You had told me it was time,
I let you listen to the birds and music,
Comforting you until she came.

I wanted to take you to bed again,
But I know that would have been wrong,
I didnt want to end you life,
But otherwise, I would have been cruel, and wrong.

You enjoyed your last meal,
Some tasty treats came in the post,
You had more medication,
To ease the pain, as the time drew close.

The hours seemed to last forever,
But I was happy to see you at ease,
The vet came to our house,
You had your sedative on my knees.

You are not keen on strangers,
And tried to go and hide,
But the sedative worked quite quickly,
I picked you up and cuddled you till it was time.

Your body went limp,
You were so sleepy,
And the vet shaved your leg,
Much more humane that the heart, I agree.

Then she injected a huge dose of barbiturate,
Your heart stopped almost instantly,
Mummy wanted that injection too,
You died quickly upon my knee.

Now you are in the garden,
And I am so sorry,
But I did everything I could,
I cant let you in anymore, but I really wish I could.

I am really lost without you,
More than I expected,
Never knew i'd feel this alone,
Dont know what I expected.

The house now feels unsafe,
The panic does things to my body,
Nightmares wake me up,
And now you're not here to help me.

I wish I could have gone with you,
And we could still be together,
No more pain for either of us,
We'd be together forever.

I am so sorry Tiggy, please forgive me, thank you for everything,
love from mummy ***
I wrote this for my cat.  Pathetic as that sounds.  But I loved her so much.
Jay Feb 13
Partner, companion, friend.
My dear lover,
My beloved muse.
I understand now what I did not know before.
Things I could not have known, without you.
Our lives have become an expedition of searching the deepest parts of our minds.
Understanding the past, hoping for the future, and going with the present.
There is no rule book when it comes to caring for another person, no rule book for love.
It does not stand alone.
You cannot have love without sorrow,
Without anger,
Without joy.
It’s vulnerable.
Love is, vulnerable.
It’s showing all of your cards, hoping they accept.
It’s watching them blossom, sometimes, away from you.
It’s selfish, and selfless.
My dear lover,
My beloved muse.
Your tenderness, I will never forget.
There is warmth in my heart, where your name lays.
I love you.
Izzy Aghahowa Dec 2018
it was dark and the thunder was growing
along with the screams of the children outside
who were running away from the storm
that was to come
with my hands clenched
and my ribs growing tired
my breaths became restless and weak
as i started to lose control
i fell out of my keep
like a lamb that had strayed afar
there you were
with your deafening heartbeat
as you watched me like a silent hawk
watching its prey
carelessly finding
remnants of an unwinding heart
that had been left sober
on the kitchen counter
we were walking on egg shells
around aquamarine carpets
the mud stains you left
had a form that couldn't help
but fall into tangled pieces of righteous light
that were trapped in the heat of our human pressures
and our unspoken pleasures
your painfully bright emerald eyes
seldom locked with mine  
your razor-edged chin
in my shoulder it found its borough
it laid firmly planted
waiting to feel secure
within my tiny grasp
as we moulded an embrace
that felt like lifetimes that had been and gone
in silence was your comfort
it lived there with laughter
while you floated above the hair on my skin
as your hands exposed bubbling panic
though it was draped in loose tranquility
we found we had lost ourselves
the lights had finally escaped our eyes
we were now alone with the raging tempest
Leon Murphy Nov 2018
As you were before
You stood out of the crowd
You were just the way you are
you never stood still even for a moment,
you didn't stand about.

Your my friend
Your my friend,
And I saw you falling
broken both your legs
on your way down.

Your my friend
Your my friend,
I never had a doubt
Stood up again and you reached out for another time
You clinged to me
you didn't even cry as you stood up again and set a limping foot in front.

Your problems had gotten worse
The light felt cold from your eyes
I tried to make you laugh but you couldn't even make a smile.
You didn't stand out of the crowd and you had blended unwillingly into the mass.

But then again
But then again,
Time heals everything
just not magically.
Eventually I saw your eyes
light up again.
Your breath didn't turn cold
as I was lucky to have a friend again.

A precious treasure just waiting to be uncovered as I am so fortunate.

As you fall
As you fall.

The sound of your head cracking
On the pavement.

It broke my heart
It broke my heart.

You went dark for a moment
Screaming on the ground.
Hitting everything around you

Your life was hard and your body was scarred.
Your breath turned toxic as you cursed your surroundings.

You slept for a while and slowly
But suddenly you became something that I can't describe.

Pain turned to love.
Suffering formed into joy
I couldn't even comprehend
What you had become.

Your my friend
Your my friend,
You challenged the world that makes you bend over
Never surrendered.

Yet you had risen
Yet you had ascended
You paved your own way
Across the globe
You tore down those walls
The cage of your own
Which you had became.

Hey there my friend!
I see you've become what you always had wanted to be
I stood by your side and it made me realize.
I was just like you all along.
Yuppy Cups Nov 2018
I don't want to

Complicate you

I just want to

Add some value

Extricate me

From my heartbeat

Elevate me

From this deep heat
No stress no fuss. Just want to be near you in whatever way I can be.
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