when you’re going solely off of what feels right, it’s pretty easy to be swayed when you ate bad chicken or take a bubble bath or the streets look friendly but so does the underside of my comforter so you tell me how am i supposed to know?
And then everything that ever made sense crumbled and shattered. And i was left to let the water overcome me. It ran down, flowed with a constant that comforted. The moisture started breaking down that which i settled to engage myself with.
And here i am mourning something that was never quite mine in the first place.
when the water rushes to fill my ears, I hear the ever-present, rarely-heard drum of my own heart beating at the edge of the water, I can feel it around my face as my eyes blur upwards, here I am blinking and thinking always thinking, or maybe deliberating arguing, even, with myself pushing the thoughts of drowning to the back of my mind again distracted by the soft hum of it the music I have going on the sink, by the tub, filled with water filled with me pulling my knees to examine the bruises scattered across my legs a deep breath in, hold it while pure silence envelopes me, there I close my eyes let the thoughts continue let them be im happy