This bathroom buzzes with the sound of a fan whirring. It's blades loom and spin with a constant rhythm. The dim, ultraviolet light on the ceiling, Bleaches everything out into shades of cream and khaki.
I lay in a calm and murky pool enclosed in cold white walls. Steam rises from its surface and fogs the room. The water condensates in mirroring beads on the walls, Making the tiny bathroom seem colorless and infinite.
I want to go home to my own aqua green bathtub, Walls crawling with tiny square tiles of burnt umber and burgundy. Where my silent meditation in the bath, Is interrupted by your call on the telephone.
The sides of the bathtub Rise up like castle walls Keeping me safe and Allowing me to ignore The world outside of them My small safe haven My fortress of solitude A place where I can Simply be in existence But not taking up space
Harassed light is cut and divided coming of the day is decayed in milk, the haggard moon is the latest unwelcome intrusion Detached body parts are the new order of things retracted senses ignore the smells of yesterday, A quiet mayhem to each passing moment, Each thought wrenches like sand under fingernails, Settling into place briefly has no explanatory value. Time is retracting wrapped in plastic, Guttural cries the sea is a bathtub of regret Formless burdens illuminated by the sun blunted and captured
Exposed and unafraid, I lie alone in this sea creating waves of my own volition. My creature comforts are forgotten here, except for the ever-diminishing cover of the bubbles. A porcelain deep made only for me. Here I lie, planning a life I'll likely never see. Love unending, wealth immeasurable, a life worth living. As the ocean's hue begins to change (red and furious) a final thought crashes to the beaches of my mind- -I want to live.
Glaring light and white bathtubs. Steam and high pitched melodies. Running water spreading warmth spreading legs. Silky cloths for the freshly bathed human. Confusion and worried faces all washed away by lukewarm bathtub water.
I'm being bled dry. The water turns a drip-drip Over the edge. My squirming, Twisted mermaid legs Shrivel in pain I'm ugly and deformed. I gave all I had to give. So I'm bleeding And screaming In this bathtub prison, But no one will find me here.
Inspired by the song Bathtub Mermaid by Mili... I'm feeling bled dry, stuck in a bathtub. As if I have nothing left to give and I'm just waiting for an end to my slow death.