The last kiss
was on your lips
before the words
and on and on,
one kiss deserves another.
and refreshed said:
"This will be the last."
If you kiss thus,
each fresh new face,
will you remain chaste?
You'll not deny
an honest try
for passion's sake,
your parting words
cut like a knife:
"I must be true
to the woman who
loves me as a wife".
Do you remember
Waiting by the door
For me to come home
Just a little after four?
Do you remember
Wondering if I were hurt
Lying by a road somewhere
Injured in the dirt?
How many times did I
Disappoint you with lies?
How many times did you
Assume I was too unwise
In my chose of friends
Who drank and smoked
Engaging in philandering
Just like old bawdy jokes?
Did you catch me out
With strangers on the make?
Did you ask yourself
“Just how much can I take?”
Did you rage and howl
And call yourself a fool
Who seems to have learned little
All those years in school?
Did some friends tell you
You needed to confront
And tell me what a rat I was
To leave you here in want.
Did you lie and defend me
And keep our secrets well hid?
Did you worry we were through?
You say you didn’t do all that?
Well, the truth of it is, I did.
when we lay between the sheets
i forget the hours that tick by,
while you lay and keep watch.
your heart beat ticking
as the clock's hands wave by.
in a drunken haze,
the only prayer i can think to recite
is your name;
though you utter another's.
i thought i saw that minute twinkle in your eyes,
that died out long before
i had the chance to inscribe it;
sometime between those weary nights
and sleepless mornings,
stained with unspoken promises and
i think you forget-
that my heart was always yours to keep,
though yours kept ticking
while mine remained frozen in time.
"I'm sure you heard the news"
my hearts now beating a mile a minute
brain firing off all the possibilities.
an accident, a death, a breakup, or worse
- s i l e n c e-
my brain relaxes, my heart slows down
a breath of air pumps through my lungs
"Good, I'm happy! He deserves the one"
"Do you really mean that? I mean he really messed you up"
"Hey, I'm okay. It's no longer my burden to bear
I am a new person, that chapter has closed."
Deep down I feel the angst churning
I never got my closure
How could he have moved on so fast
I want to scream "INFIDELITY!"
just loud enough so she can hear
Would she believe me?
Does it even matter?
I hope she doesn't know. I hope their love is genuine
if she knew the monster she was marrying, I don't think she could live.
I was her, waiting for the ring.
I want it to end
The pain surfaces every now and then
but thank goodness for this bottle
it's become my only friend
We never thought we make it this far,
but then you had to go and screw it all.
You cheated on me with two girls,
thus risking if I'd still be a part of your world.
Now I am left with a tug of war between my heart and my head.
I would not be in this position if you had not taken them to bed.
You keep making me talk about her in my sleep
And I can feel the distance
Behind closed eyelids, tell me do you see ghosts too?
I can see her wearing nothing but lipstick
And all I do is help you remember her fingertips
Burning on your skin so deep while you are sleeping
Does she drive you mad?
With you its dead-end streets and wasted dreams
I pretend we are skin to skin
Because now nights get a bit colder
You keep running back to her
when you are next to me
It's good to see you again, its been so long
Even tho I don't want to say goodbye
We both know its already late and I have to catch my ride
I'm done being her
So I'm calling off the day
you keep calling her name
I breathe you in
Kiss you and then kiss her too
It's time to lick the wounds that are your creation
It's time to become my own salvation
I found her in our house
I burnt it to the ground
one million times over.
built for you
with mine own cells.
with lavender walls
and rose petal front doors,
hiding her among the weeds.
Constructing a home
out of paper airplanes
and coloured ties.
frolic in the garden.
When I found her in our home,
our home became a house.
more than this mattress fills.
swells the vents.
comes alive with her
And I hate it here.
I found her in my house
erected beneath me.
trying to kill someone
who is already dead to you.
Flushing your poison out of my veins
Trying my hardest to break free from these chains
I gave you my heart, I gave you my soul
For nearly two years I dug you out of your hole.
You used me for my money, to the tune of three thousand pounds
Lying, cheating and faking, oh how the deceit mounds.
The hurt I’m feeling is crucifying me
& a change in my daughter that I don’t want to see
You promised to empower us and love us both forever
I thought it was us against the world, the three of us together.
I was wrong to place my trust in you I was wary from the start
I tried to ignore the red flags I saw, I was determined to follow my heart.
My daughter is so hurt and angry, a furious teenage mess
She’s proud of me for walking away, she knows you deserve much less.
It looks like that’s what you’ll be getting, by being up in Leeds
Misery, sadness and distress as well as Liz’s STD’s