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6.8k · Jul 2014
want
Kathleen M Jul 2014
I want to kiss you
I want to breathe you in
I want to **** you far down into my lungs and absorb you like smoke
I want to exhale you like a sigh
3.4k · Mar 2014
Intimate Stranger
Kathleen M Mar 2014
I wake up in his arms
I barely remember his name
But he’s one of the sweetest I’ve ever been with
When I go to wake him he pulls me close and asks for ten more minutes
I love the way he touches me
The soft trailing of his fingers on my spine
His whisper of a kiss on my shoulder
Such intimate affection between us
I’ve only known him for a few hours
And I don’t know if I’ll see him again
But for now I’ll just breathe this moment in and soak up these gentle kisses
3.0k · Nov 2013
Cigarettes and Alcohol
Kathleen M Nov 2013
Cigarettes and sweet alcohol
That's what you taste like
It's cold here but you're warm
Your mouth
Your hands
All over my skin
This moment
This roughness
This sweet sensation
This illusion
I hope we meet again
2.9k · Apr 2015
Thin Skin
Kathleen M Apr 2015
Skin is far too tight and thin.
It can not possibly contain the soul of me.
I hope I don't make a mess when it all gives way.
2.7k · Aug 2015
No Applause
Kathleen M Aug 2015
He sprints across the field
Navigating obstacle after obstacle
Addiction, illness, depression
Bits of him flying off into the distance
His hope, dreams, will
He's falling apart, getting smaller
Propelling himself forward regardless of his destruction
The finish line is a bullet
There is no applause
2.1k · Apr 2015
I am Poison
Kathleen M Apr 2015
I am a tight knot of chaos and impulse
I am erratic, spinning in a wild off kilter dance
I am poison to the beautiful things I love
I turn them sour with my touch
2.0k · Nov 2015
Ashes are left
Kathleen M Nov 2015
Ashes are left
Ashes and gin soaked pages
Ashes and shaking hands at breakfast
Ashes and bruised knuckles
Ashes and losing him
Ashes and the absence
Ashes and memories
Me hitting the floor vision clouded over with black
His hand on the back of my head lifting me out of shock and back into the world
His ashes and absence wears my mind thin
His arm draped around me, drunken stumble up the steps
His ashes and my flesh won't mix
His ashes and my heart won't mix
His ashes blow away in the wind every time
2.0k · Apr 2015
Weight
Kathleen M Apr 2015
I am unfathomably heavy
Pinned down by the lead filling my body
Numbness seeps into my skin
My vision clouds over and sounds become muffled
My lungs are full of lead
I cease to breathe
It tastes lonely and complete
I am immovable
Dirt cascades across my face
Buried deep where I belong
Down in the burial grounds
Where my crushing weight goes unnoticed
Kathleen M Mar 2015
darling they've found the body
curled up among the leaves
echoing the quiet decay
savoring the dying day

darling they've found the body
crying under the porch
choking on the insects
still she swallows more

pull out the nails
unwrap the barbed wire
cut the noose
pull out the nails
unwrap the barbed wire
cut the noose

darling they've found the body
on you're side on the bed
shes wearing white sheets
there are no eyes in her head

darling they've found the body
sitting in your place
talking with your voice
wearing half your face

pull out the nails
unwrap the barbed wire
cut the noose
pull out the nails
unwrap the barbed wire
cut the noose

darling they've found the body
her hands are around your throat
settling into indents
she put there long ago

darling they've found the body
they dig her up
wherever we go
1.7k · Apr 2015
Tiger Lilly's
Kathleen M Apr 2015
Orange and yellow
Exploding with memories like pinpricks and broken glass
"Tiger Lilly's, that's your flower"
"Why tiger Lilly's?"
"Bright and lovely, they suit you. You know you deserve better than what you give yourself. You're more than this drug fiend you say you are"
He drank seven beers at breakfast, the waitress looks over disapprovingly
"Talk to me tell me how you have been, I worry about you."
I eye the empty beers and say nothing
Worried about me while his own addiction flourishes in front of me
His worry for me was a distraction from his own crumbling
"You taste like ashes, everything tastes like ashes"
"I trust you"
Letting go of you with every breath
Goodbye friend
I miss you
1.6k · May 2015
Transit Man
Kathleen M May 2015
The man across from me shoves hot dog buns into his gullet rapid fire
The world speeds by and light streaks across the window
It smells like kindergarten children and popcorn
His pants are rolled up high
Sure signs that the flood will be rising soon
Shuffling his feet towards me brushing my foot
This physical contact appears to be entirely intentional
He holds his bag like there's something secret inside
He shifts uneasy
Hands fumbling to stow away the hot dog buns
Siffling slightly
He has long well manicured nails
He looks out the window to avoid eye contact
My stop arrives and I leave taking his impression with me
1.5k · Sep 2013
Amputation
Kathleen M Sep 2013
That side of me
Its ugly and disgraceful
Manipulative and jealous
Insecure and angry
Fragile and sharp
To bury this side
To smother it
To cut it into pieces would be a breath of fresh air
1.5k · Apr 2016
Inhale Smoke
Kathleen M Apr 2016
Shadows slash across the field as smoke and saxophone lull the tense muscles of my back.
Inhale smoke.
Exhale soul.
Streetlights paint the road orange and pollute the night above.
Sirens and hum of the city permiate the air.
Inhale smoke.
Exhale mind.
Doors locked to keep out strangers sweating with desperation.
Lights off to hide from supposed watching eyes.
Inhale smoke.
Exhale self.
1.5k · Apr 2016
Welcome Home
Kathleen M Apr 2016
Say 'hello' to the Earth when they bury you
Say 'how do you do' to the Worms and Ants
They're here to spread your Atoms
They're here to make you new
Matter cannot be created or destroyed
Your Atoms have always been here and they always will be
Welcome home
1.5k · Apr 2015
In The Trees
Kathleen M Apr 2015
In the trees
It is cold now
The wind creeps up and a chill trickles down my spin
The trees moan with the wind
I sink down to the soil
Laying down and shoving my fingers into the earth
They stretch and twist, flesh become plant
Not fingers but roots
Green shoots growing out of my body
Eyes turned towards the sky
Moon painting my face with pale light
A stunning realisation as I hear without ears
The trees do not moan, they sing
The wind sings
The earth hums with life
This is what I dreamed of
This is all I could ever need
1.4k · Sep 2013
Suffocation
Kathleen M Sep 2013
Suffocation is the only word to describe this feeling
It's heavy in my heart
It's filling up my lungs
It's your lead hand on my throat
It's the words clogging my windpipe
It's the betrayal that holds me under
This is the purest form of suffocation
1.4k · Sep 2013
Scarlet
Kathleen M Sep 2013
Photo shoot
These pictures will be different
Than the ones I've taken of myself
These ones aren't for men who disappear
These ones won't make me feel cheap

These ones won't require me to strip away my pride
These ones I can be proud of

Smooth A Scarlet
Messy hair
Pale skin
Red lips
Tights
Heels

Like slipping into a new skin
I'll be remade
Be given a new name
A different story

Who am I?
Anything you want me to be
Today I am Scarlet
Today I am new
1.4k · Apr 2016
Victim Show
Kathleen M Apr 2016
The dead trespass through my mind
They cave in skulls through forced lobotomy
They strap the population for lethal injection
They take lead fists to soft flesh
Claws to clean eyes
Stealing voices
Cutting out pink tongues
Cramming microphone down your throat
Can you hear me now
Hammers and clubs slam death home with every blow
Tonight we let the victims show
1.3k · Aug 2015
Clarity
Kathleen M Aug 2015
My skull echos loudly
Inside are roaring thoughts
Pounding like waves crashing into ships
I need quiet, I need tranquility
Perhaps if I opened the lid of my scalp
I could spill out all the excess noise
As I sew my scalp in place Clarity would whisper in my ear "peace is yours dear"
Clarity sweeping her delacate fingers across my restless bones
The rattling would stop
The roaring would silence
At the touch of Clarity 's shimmering skin
1.3k · Jul 2016
Garbage Guthrie
Kathleen M Jul 2016
Guthrie is a man made of garbage
His dreams they rot and leak
He has banana peel hair
Hes got old martini olive eyes
But did you see him before the light died
Years ago
Way back to a time when charm and wit flowed freely from his mouth
His tongue a silver spoon
His dealing hand like a golden talon
Tryna ***** the light out
His feet the vehicle taking him to paradise
He says "you only live once, better live the burning life."
1.3k · Apr 2015
Disassembly
Kathleen M Apr 2015
Bits of me unlock and let go
Floating past what remains of my eyes
I am made of so many colourful peices
I exhale the last of my lungs
A pink cloud shimmers in front of my face
Lighter and lighter as my body departs
Floating upwards where the air is thin
Raindrops falling between the flecks of me
My being stretched just as thin as the air I travel through
1.2k · Apr 2016
Deadly Muse
Kathleen M Apr 2016
You've infected my head.
Even in death I write of you.
My muse.
Stomping my head into the earth with every word.
A deadly gangrene.
A poison in my tea.
I lay my head against the curb bracing for the next crushing blow.
I let the infection spread.
I drink the poison down.
1.2k · Mar 2016
I
Kathleen M Mar 2016
I
I wear long coats and leather boots
I wear long billowing skirts
My hair dark and curly
I sing the blues
I drink gin and smoke ****
I put the joint out with my finger tips
I hike and make music with strangers
I read poetry and politics
I am friendly and confident
I go to sunshine and music
I dance bare foot
I walk with beasts
I tread lightly over the dead
I see birds gather and hear my name called
I look down
I see dirt
I see myself
I see growing and potential
I am not done growing yet
I have not reached the canopy
I have not caressed the sun
I wait, biding my time
I collect pieces of the dead
I remember and take heed
1.2k · Jul 2016
Jane's Brain
Kathleen M Jul 2016
Jane holds the pencil in her hand
She uses it to get the thoughts out of her head
Now they won't come out
Time for a new tactic
She swings her clenched fist at her ear
The squelch is felt more than heard
Again and again she gouges the thoughts from her brain
Thoughts pool dark red in her lap
She finally shut them up
Eyes closed
Relaxed sigh
Alone in her head again
Jane fades out
1.2k · Mar 2015
Dark Water
Kathleen M Mar 2015
Chunks of brain litter the ground
Thoughts and dreams settle on the water like oil
Swirling and colliding in the night air
The sky breathes a great sigh
The land shivers cold
I stand where the sand meets the sea
A creature perched on my tongue
Side to side leaning preparing to soar out across the endless black above and below
I step into the inky waters, my legs disappearing beneath the surface
Wading out into calm waters that drop off to unknown depths
What swims below
Would they turn me away if I went sinking down
If I tried to become part of that dark world, untouched by human hands
Would I glow from the inside
If I sank down would my internal smouldering light the way
Would I be welcome with the squid and the murk
Would those quiet unmarred creatures sorround and keep me
Would the large eyes and many limbs understand the depths I must reach
Would they bring me down and help bury me in the silt at the bottom
Would they sweep the fine particles across me
Covering and comforting my restless skin
Would the dark and the stillness there bring the calm I crave
Would I be put to rest
Would I find peace
Kathleen M Apr 2016
I used to dream about running away with you
Your gone now
I'm still running
Your shadow nipping at my heels
If I could wash my brain
I would choose this pain instead
The sharp reminder has always been more comfort than silence
No one fills the shoes you left
No one fills your mold
No one fits quite like you did
And you blew it all away
Brain washed by bullet
If I could conjure you as a saint in a higher place this could be easy
I can't
Bones burned
Belongings dispersed
Sharp reminder and silence echoing in your wake
Years will pass and I will hear that shot echo loud and clear
1.1k · Apr 2015
Stay Underneath
Kathleen M Apr 2015
It is dark here
The folds of cloth sheltering
Smoke drifts by lazy in the air
The fear is present
Stay here
Stay underneath
It is safe here
My head rings loudly inside
Like a branding iron in my brain
Don't get up
The light makes it worse
Underneath is safe
Shut your eyelids
Let unconsciousness sweep the pain away
1.1k · Sep 2013
Grandfather
Kathleen M Sep 2013
My grandfather was there
We were sat down at the kitchen table
He was telling my about my hands
Said that I had writers hands
Artists hands
Painters hands
Hands like Anne 
My grandfather was drinking 
He was always drinking
Anne was pacing around 
Angry at him
Angry at him for being drunk
Again
Angry at him for being an alcoholic 

My brother and grandfather in my room
We listen to music
My brother asks my grandfather why he's not with Anne anymore 
I don't remember the reply
I remember him saying that he still loved Anne 

The door bell rings 
Its late 
I'm supposed to be asleep 
Grandfather at the door
Im watching from the stairs 
He's talking to my father
Says he needs money quick
Asks for three hundred 
My father gives it to him no questions 
My grandfather leaves 

It's Christmas 
Grandfather shows up to everyone's surprise 
He's there with no presents 
I was just glad he was there
He told me he had a necklace for me
He just had to pick it up from a friend 
I knew better though
He fell asleep on the couch 
Im glad he was there 

Its bobbys funeral
My grandfather is there
He's unhappy 
He's tired 
I don't remember much of him that day

Im at the swimming pool with my friends 
Waiting for my dad to pick us up
My grandfather is there
I haven't seen him in a while
He's so skinny
I know he's still using
He doesnt recognize me

Family dinner 
Dinner is served late
As always 
Grandfather is there 
He's showing my friend some dance steps he learned
Mentions his new lady friend 
He seems happy

My family moves half way across the country 
Leaving Edmonton behind
The next time I hear news about my grandfather its from my father
He saw my grandfather at my great grandmothers funeral 
He's still using and it shows
He's skinny
He's lost teeth
He's sick 

But I'll always remember the time in the kitchen 
I'll always remember when he told me I had writers hands
Artists hands
Painters hands
Like Anne
1.1k · Jul 2016
High Fiving Death
Kathleen M Jul 2016
Twisted brain shiver spine tickle
Morbid curiosity has the wheel and lead feet
The torch is melting your face
Death beats you with a fire extinguisher
Death keeps screaming "it's for the irony"
You high five with exuberance.
976 · Apr 2015
I Am
Kathleen M Apr 2015
It trembles on a pedestal of glass and sand
A single beam of light pierces through the emptiness to illuminate its shaking
Its face of silver mirror reflecting light that disappears into the void
Frost coats the edges in the most delicate web, it shimmers with every angle
What odd eyes scan the depths of this isolation
Endlessly black bottomless pupils searching tirelessly
Eyelashes echoing arachnid origins flutter, meet and part
Sharp angled cheeks cut through the stillness with ease
A stillness of the mouth makes a parting of lips rare and foreign

The eyes flutter closed
Arachnid lashes meeting and locking
The lips part
Soft sighing escapes
The lips craddling its birth
956 · Aug 2015
Dance With Suicide
Kathleen M Aug 2015
She talks to me
Her voice is saccharine poison

"Picture it
Those last seconds
Those beautiful seconds
When you will finally know with all of your being there will be no more pain
You will not be plagued by memories
They eat you like cancer
You're soul is riddled with it
The scars on your skin my have healed
Such trespassing leaves more permanent brands on the inside
Wounds that don't quite heal
Imagine knowing you'll never feel it again
Imagine how free of it you can be"


I want it
I want it
I want it
I sit wrapping myself into a knot
No moving until her song is done
Dancing in my head
Unwelcome and uninvited
Inviting my hands to take action
Follow her sweet instruction
Scilence

I made it through this spinning round
Until the next serenade
881 · Aug 2015
No Answer
Kathleen M Aug 2015
I hear that bitter sweet voice
Sharp and cloying
She's so beautiful
But cold and spiteful
Leaving traces of her touch
"I'll take you away from this"
I won't listen to her
I reach out to something safe
No answer
She gains confidence with every ring
No anwer
"Remember my sweet release"
I try again stretching up clawing out of the pit
No answer
I stop reaching
She has my attention
870 · Apr 2016
I love you
Kathleen M Apr 2016
I love you
For all the times I didn't say it
For all the times you didn't know it
I love you
For every breath you questioned it
For every bit of hurt
I love you
For every time I cut you off
For everything I do wrong
I love you
For the lines crossed
For the tears lost
I love you
856 · Dec 2013
Sweet Spot
Kathleen M Dec 2013
What if I told you I found the sweet spot, the perfect combination of want, desire and satisfaction, the perfect balance of risk and thrill, the best adrenaline rush.
I'll share it with you.
Are you ready?
Can you enjoy the dark and lovely, that beautiful spinning moment, the freedom?
It's mine, it can be yours too, breathe it in, **** it down, devour every taste and color, savor it, it won't last forever. Revel in it, drown in it, wicked laughter and twisted minds, wannabe gangsters and the real thing. A sea of crazy and delight
Who are you?
What are you?
I'll show you the art of spinning out of control. Time to unwind and unravel.
This is my dream, my wild unbound satisfaction.
The writing on your face.
The drugs.
The *****.
The crazy.
The dangerous.
Its all mine, and I soak it up relentlessly.
855 · Oct 2014
Untitled
Kathleen M Oct 2014
My world is filled with strangers.
People without last names.
Intense closeness and then nothing.
Passing through without a trace.
I don't mind but it all feels paper thin.
I want something solid to stand on.
Kathleen M Jan 2014
Anne came and  left  but I remember  the sweet  cider and the wood stove, the smell of her paints. She sings songs from Chicago, and brings to life the northern lights on the canvas, the wolves, the scenes. Her songs, the guitar she plays. She croons about damaged men and neglected love. Country and blues, telling me about the costume she has for her next bar song night, her singing partner will be a Patsy Cline look alike. Anne makes Saskatoon jam, tucks me in on the couch, and tells me stories.
We walk along the trails on the acridge, Anne tells me about plants we see, like the pea vine. She encourages me to climb the tallest trees. She hears me sing and sees promise, talent, a dream waiting to happen. She gets me into theater, one of the greatest gifts I've ever received.
She brings me flowers to my shows and I always find her in the big crowds.
I remember the painting, the beautiful field with billowing clouds lazily crossing the sky in the wind. It was in the apartment that she shared with her boyfriend. He had an awful temper and it took more than it should have for Anne to finally leave him.
She stayed with us for a while, a few lovely months before leaving.
It was a few years after she disappeared before I found the demo CD of Anne singing her country and blues. Sometime I just sit and play it on repeat, its a treasure, a gateway to all those memories.
Memories of a proud and beautiful woman who helped shift my life in the direction of art and creation. A woman who was there when I was an infant and when I was a child.
I love Anne and the memories she left in her wake. Anne came and left but I remember everything.
849 · Dec 2013
Remembering Her Perfection
Kathleen M Dec 2013
I treasure those eyes the best, so lovely each night. Long lashes fluttering with your trademarked twisted elegance. I trace your skinny hips and kiss your scarlet  lips, we lay  close and and whisper across the quiet divide. I sit  inhaling smoke and exhaling pretty words that roll off the tip of my tongue, sliding down the floor boards. Drinking, spinning in sickly sweet light. I can tell  them, always trusting the people I meet, dancing to the sweet spot. Wicked am I, missing the saunter of those long lovely  legs. Trapped a loop of taunting, teasing laughter. We all talk crazy, tangled and comfortable in each others hair, this is the closest to perfection I've ever been.
831 · Apr 2015
Left Behind
Kathleen M Apr 2015
We carried his body back to shore. There was nothing we could do to stop this man hellbent on self destruction. He planned it out and wanted it more than anything. Here we are left to clean up, left to drag his corpse back to shore. His old weathered skin still holding that final smirk of satisfaction. I hope the water brought him peace, I hope the water calmed the war in his head.
Everything else is best left unsaid.
Goodbye old friend.
818 · Aug 2015
Rough draft
Kathleen M Aug 2015
Tight frayed nerves
Agitation lives in my veins
The pain in my hands keeps me awake
Begging the dark to put me at ease
Pushing consciousness away
Please make it go away
Relieve my tight skin and stifled breath
Panic clenching my lungs in its fist
804 · Mar 2017
Untitled
Kathleen M Mar 2017
There is a reckless tenancy to leave the door of my life wide open "come in come in its cold out there" I realize I've only welcomed the cold in.
784 · Jun 2015
Flee
Kathleen M Jun 2015
I've got a craving
A craving to feel the ground beneath my feet
To cover as many miles as I can
I've got to get out
get away
Distance the only measure of progress
Detach and disappear
Clean break
Amputation without a phantom itch
So tired of this steel and glass cage
City structures and the suffocating stench of decline
I feel it in every pore and cell
Run
I feel the decay devouring me
Get out of this poisonous atmosphere
Before it kills you
783 · Mar 2014
I am Gluttony
Kathleen M Mar 2014
I want to touch my feelings.
I want to reach down my throat to pluck away at my vocal cords and play a most destructive tune.
I want to rip my skull open and sift through the gritty things that live there, pull them out and drape myself in those raw thoughts and half ideas.
I want to carve a fantasy from my flesh in a beautiful juxtaposition of depravity and innocence.
I want to devour every inch of skin, get lost in that tangled ecstasy, that increase of breath and the rolling back of eyes at the power of my finger tips.
I want to spiral into the most elegant chaos, out of control and completely at home.
I’m craving excess on all levels.
All frequencies requiring more.
I am Gluttony and there is not a thing in this world that I cannot consume.
729 · Feb 2017
Hope and Science
Kathleen M Feb 2017
So I woke up feeling crushed and sad, my anxiety and my depression were screaming. My intrusive thoughts woke before I did.
So I fight back with hope.
Science and hope until my negativity feels so small in a universe so vast.
So small against the wonder of the universe, how small my hurt is amongst the vast light of countless suns. How insignificant in comparison to the depths of the oceans and the power of storms and solar flares. I am small, so is my hurt, I am strong enough to shoulder and carry it long enough to feel the wonder overtake me.
Kathleen M Oct 2014
Never owe anyone money ever, borrow nothing, take no favours.

Do not expect unconditional love from anything but a dog, no one will love you unconditionally. Life isn't a fairy tale.

Even your oldest friends will disappear when you need them most.

You love your family but that doesn't mean you should trust them.

Do not trust people.

Take at least one self defence class, people will hurt you, people will want your skin enough to crawl inside and take it from you.

Give favours you can afford to give without getting something back.

Expect nothing from others.

Take care of yourself, no matter what's happening try to take care of yourself.

Do not share your feelings while they are most intense.

Hate less, please please hate less.

Cut off any malignant people in your life.

Live with detachment, let nothing touch you.

Only tell people you love them if it doesn't matter when they don't say it back.

Do not expect people to care for you or comfort you, if it happens on its own savour every last second.
704 · Jul 2015
Dead Men Dance
Kathleen M Jul 2015
Dead men dance through my dreams
Singing a sickly song
Telling me that the light is gone
I want to drink down his favorite poison
Help me hold on to those tiny shards left behind
Let the taste of liquor remind me of his intoxicating presence
Dead men with silver tongues singing and screaming in my head
Was the bullet enough
Did it ease his pain
674 · Sep 2013
I Am The Executioner
Kathleen M Sep 2013
I have the power
I hold the key
The scales are tipped in my favour
Just like I knew they would be
I like that your heart beats in my hand
I like that I could hurt you on a whim
It's twisted
But I've always been this wicked
I can be the air that keeps you alive
I can be the poison that breaks you down
You'll know when I decide
668 · Oct 2013
A Brief Escape
Kathleen M Oct 2013
Face pressed to the pavement
Inhale
Exhale
“Is she alright””
“What is she on?”
I close my eyes and listen as a laugh bubbles out of my mouth
Smoke drifts by on lazy wind
Pass the bottle round the circle
The sun casts long silhouettes as the day struggles to end
Peace
He throws me over his shoulder and we swim in laughter and carelessness
He’s so skinny
We all pile into a heap of bodies in the grass
Tangled up in drug addled murmurings
Here with my life
Here with my dreams
Wrap me up in this chemical safety
This is where I live
In this place of poisoned innocence
This breathtaking recklessness
This is where I found hope
This is where my heart lies
This is where my life after death continues
Don’t let this moment end
642 · Apr 2016
Untitled
Kathleen M Apr 2016
Butterflies drink from pools of blood collecting near my feet
Eyes wide open
Like a fish mouth gaping and gasping
The blood looks black in the moonlight
Sidewalk pavement hums with hesitant rain drops
Clouds block the moon above
The blood shimmers black
My hands are dry and so is my mouth
My teeth are chalk
There are things creeping in the lawn
They have seen the unseen
Maybe I'm one of them
The blood thins with rain water
Only my mouth is dry now
My hands drip with rain and parts of me
I am watered down, I am the blood, I am the rain
I run off the sidewalk and am swept down the street
The lawn and the unseen but a forgotten dream
639 · Sep 2013
trembling
Kathleen M Sep 2013
Trembling
For your hurt
For my wound
For my dull edged knife
For the pity
For the blame
For the way your heart tears itself to pieces on that jagged blade
Kathleen M Oct 2013
I might be pregnant
The test is in my purse
I'm not scared
Just sorry for the baby that might be
Sorry for being stupid
Sorry for trusting that I would not be the 0.01% that gets pregnant on the pill
Sorry that I have to lie to him
He will not be a father
He is not ready
He will want me to get rid of the unexpected life

If you're there baby
I'll have you
I'll give you the best chance I can
I'll protect you no matter what
I've planned for this
I've planned for an unexpected life
I will find you a family
A family that wants a new life more than anything
I'll visit you all the time
I'll love you more than I can explain
I'll do the best I can for you baby

Just know baby that no matter what
You were always loved
You were always cared for
You were always wanted
You could be my unexpected gift
Baby
If you're there
I love you
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