oh my darling angel you are the reason i’m still a person with skin you are the reason i wake up in the morning and smile sometimes with teeth sometimes without but smile nonetheless//you are the reason i eat with such gusto because i know you would laugh at the way i wolf down pasta//you are the reason for the hole in my chest in your absence i collapse like a dying star//you are the reason i’m trying so hard to be better and//you are the reason i called my therapist’s office and said hi yes could i please have a listening ear//you are the reason all my cuticles are picked ragged like so many spiky sea animals warning you not to touch//you are the reason for my writing the note you left me to write calling me “stinky” still sits on my shelf untouched//you are the reason i’m insecure about my taste in alcohol//you are the reason i’m not insecure about my laugh anymore//you are the reason that my hair is soft and//you are the reason i’m shaving my legs again//you are the reason i care about *** at all and//you are the reason it scares me so ******* much you are the reason for much of my life as it stands now proud and tall and shaking like a fawn still wet from her mother’s womb
i kinda like how this turned out, it needs a lot of work but honestly i'm just gonna post drafts on here and see how it goes
ME: I’ve called you all here today to ask you something. BROTHER 1: [looking sideways at the door] BROTHER 2: Hmm. MOM: [smiling widely in that way that says she knows] DAD: [smiling widely in that way that says he doesn’t] ME: To be frank, I don’t think you all like each other very much. Is that true? MOM: [smile gets tighter, hand reaches towards phone] DAD: No, it’s not. [scratching side of head nervously] BROTHER 2: Hmm. BROTHER 1: You all bore me. ME: We know we do. MOM: [typing furiously] [silence punctuated by dog licking his leg] ME: So, now what? BROTHER 1: [rolling eyes slowly and obviously] What do you mean, now what? ME: Well, I mean where do we go from here? MOM: We don’t. We just stay here or nothing at all. BROTHER 2: Hmm. DAD: What else can we do? How do we know doing anything at all would be better? ME: I am tired of writing poems in my head about us. We have to do something. [silence punctuated by dog coughing] BROTHER 1: ******* and your poems. Do you want to hang out? MOM: I love you all but I can’t stand any of you. BROTHER 2: Can we be done now? ME: We’ll never be done. ALL: We’ll never be done. [dog sneezes]
i cannot post this on my poetry instagram bc my family might see it so have this… thing… idk
I think the kind of love I crave doesn’t exist in this world, I believe the kind of love I yearn for is out of this world, and that’s probably why, I stopped searching for it in people’s eyes, what they see when they see me, and in people’s hearts, what they feel when they’re near me, because honestly, I’ll never know what’s real and what’s just a fantasy.
I see, I see those cold cold girls who hide behind hoodies and bun their curls who line their eyes smoky with darkness that circles their mind resulting from their cries who's lips are red due to a temper that's so **** short -on thin ice they tread, who glare at every guy just so they back off waiting for the one who'll dare answer their why why? would someone like them and love them why? would someone want them and need them but everyone keeps their distance but everyone stays away and that's the reason these cold cold girls never let anyone in.