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Terra Levez Nov 2020
sometimes in the silent dark
when im curled in the corner
is it just
the sound of my traitorous heart
outside the
Samara Nov 2020
looking up at the popcorn on the ceiling.
watching it dance, groove, and jive.

wondering if I'm imagining this too
and what it even means to be

the waves of goosebumps come and go
and I'm a little cold
from the AC I keep too low
so that I can hide under a blanket.
lydia orr Jul 2020
chill of the winter night
drifting through the open sunroof
throbbing stars
a crisp breeze
licking our skin
invading our bodies with tingling goosebumps
slipping ourselves the pill of oblivion
drifting into a reality
that perhaps only existed in our minds
we did believe our imaginations
much more comfortably
than we would ever believe reality

so we sat there
slumped on the black leather seats
watching the notes spill from the speakers
and dissipate into the air
Wolf Towne Jul 2020
****** knuckles
Late night drives in rain fall

Hollow inside
I hate this feeling
It's one that always sends me reeling

Locked doors
Blood shot eyes
I'm starting to feel sleep deprived

I feel like a mental patient

I can't get up
Texts too late
I don't want to do today

Self loathing
Bleach and comet
This time I'm not going to *****

False hope
Everything hurts
This little blue pill just doesn't work
Cardboard-Jones Jul 2019
Underneath the clouds
But stumbling above the ground.
I quietly shout
What’s keeping me around?
What keeps me silhouetted in the background
Of your fickle heart and your crown?

When I open my eyes,
A blurry masquerade of a reality unmade.
I can’t tell if I’m awake.
And I can’t tell if I made a mistake.
I’m putty in your hand
At home with the ******.

I can’t tell if I’m awake.
And I can’t tell if I made a mistake.
And I can’t tell if I’m insane.
Hypnagogia is the transitional phase between wakefulness and sleep.
B Dec 2018
on the wall;
memories of all my faults.
But I still dance along the halls
good friends with skins that crawl.
Dark house, let me recall
my endless thrall
state of mental assault
Over my shoulder, go, the salt
cannot tell what is false.
Nothing makes me feel small
like figures
on the wall.
Shin Sep 2018
Shattered shards of sea foam open my eyes

nothing to do but drift through this tepid stew.

The porcelain palm trees lean in and whisper

about the ending, or so they surmised.

Closing my eyes, I take time to construe

and I see an angel; and I kiss her

and the world grows weary, silent, and still.
These are the words I'd use to describe a single slice of a trip I remember from a time past approximately one and a half years ago.
Kathleen M Mar 2018
There is a light, it's flickering a pale white blue.
The carpet is rough on my face, silence permeates the house. I should get up.
I should pull myself into personhood. My hands tremor, I let my finger tips find the end of the carpet. Skimming the floor boards shaking fingers beginning to tap tap tap out the only sound.
I used to drink the restlessness away, now I am left a craving in its place. Tap tap tap say the fingers.

Violent imagery flashes across my mind, car crashes,  rending metal, glass breaking, bones snapping there are sharp falls and hit and runs and stabbing on the sidewalk,  knife sliding into my flesh. Leaping into oncoming traffic, my heart skipping beats and laughter always my laughter. The final moment of freedom replayed over an over.  I can't tell you why it makes me smile, I don't know why myself.
Tap tap tap tap tap irrattic finger tips might be getting angry. Have your limbs been angry at you before?

Rolling over the popcorn ceiling swirls,
I realized a while back if I pay attention to the patterns they shift, I hallucinate mildly on most days. I think I might miss it if I were being honest. I focus on my skin, the way the air touches it, the way cold feels, if I savour this enough I almost feel high, high is almost always on the other side of sensation.
I might always be a touch high compared to how the average Joe feels. This is not a desirable state, but if you talk to me tomorrow I might say it's a gift.

I slowly stand, my knees cracking fingertips tap tap tapping up the wall. Giving up drinking was like giving up one of my last connections to my dearly  departed. Gin and alcoholism kept a part of him close to me. Medication and therapy take me further and further away from the person who knew him.

I walk barefoot, the texture of the floor boards underfoot, stepping into the kitchen I pull a wine glass from the cupboard. I want to hear it sing, I flick the glass, I hold the opening of the glass near my ear. I can feel the sound touching my ear. Soft ringing until it's quiet again, I've tried to savour the experience by listening in to the sounds of my world.
Listening to the slow crunch of a crisp apple, the sound of the city, the bubbling of the fish tank. Perfect beautiful sounds ripe with happening.
You can hear the happening of what is at all times if you choose to.

There are other ways to savour, I think it helps to be here and now, the savouring it I mean. By "it" I mean everything your senses allow you to perceive, the everything that is your sensory image of the world around you. Your brain built the image of the world, it's a reflection of you. The world is a mirror to your mind.
Often the reflection is not something I'm proud of, other times I'm exploding with pride.

I wish I could share what I've found with him, but I wasn't fast enough, I wasn't paying attention.

Attention to here and now has been the key I keep dropping and picking up.
Sam Kauffmann Dec 2017
Sometimes I feel like I’m on drugs
But these drugs are better than any
I hallucinate a life with you
I walk down the stairs past you but
Instead of an awkward smile
You pull me aside and kiss me
Gently but with true passion
You kiss me knowing
I would die for you
But our love would never die
These hallucinations are so perfect
Like one white cloud in the blue sky
I know they aren’t real
Life for me is nothing but storm clouds
Raining on every parade before it starts
Like an addict I need more
More and more and more
Of this perfect hallucination
Where I float across the ground
To you and you are there to greet me
You laugh because I am laughing
I am laughing because you make me happy
You make me happy because
Your existence is the drug
You existing means that there is light in the universe.
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