The roaring sound of applause is becoming too boisterous to bear.
A flock of cameras and video recorders begin to huddle at the corners of the platform set behind the curtains of the stage. Actors, dancers, stage crew, and all of those who smiled, slowly line up for the grand finale.
But not this girl.
This girl sits on top of the railing of the things that hold up the set. Waiting, seeking, and wistfully watching. An actress, without a doubt. One of the best, they say. Although this girl had no plans to take that step and accept gravity as her master and plummet to her death, she won’t deny that she hasn’t thought of that before. This time, she had other things on her mind. Something radical? Well, maybe. Spontaneous? She was too lazy to move. Dark and twisted? Not in that sense. Nonetheless, she was thinking of something with importance.
For instance, she was thinking about the homemade cookies her mother used to give her, if she behaved perfectly, quiet, and still. Since she loved the feeling of success and food in her stomach, she fought back the longing of playing games and having fun.“Too perfect a child” some might say, but that never got into her. All she wanted was the sky, moon, stars, and nothing all at once.
Years go by, mistakes are done, and nothing is made whole again. The girl is woven in a snare of lies and is drowning in a bathtub full of the blood of swine. She swims and floats and tries to escape the demons that haunt her very soul. Breathe in, breathe out. She continues to sit perfectly, quietly and still. Never talking, only listening, to the sounds of rules and* rules and rules and rules and rules and rules that mess up her insides.*
The girl performs an act that no one has ever seen. Taunting and terrifying, but beautiful and graceful all together. The mask shows her perfection, the mask shows you nothing. Jump, then fall, tumble to the ground. Tick, tock, tick, tock, the sound as time goes by.
The roaring sound of applause from the demons in her head is becoming too boisterous to bear.
A flock of cameras and video recorders begin to huddle at the corners of the platform set at the unseen bottom of the pit. Actors, dancers, stage crew, and all of those who tell her, slowly line up for the grand finale.
She takes that step.
When I'm at The Kingdom Hall, I do something to honor God.
I am a Christian who is proud to applaud.
I applaud God and you should too.
God loves me and he loves you.
When it comes time for us to give God our applause,
We should not hesitate to clap, we should not pause.
Jehovah God deserves applause because his only son died for our sins.
And Jesus's death will make it possible for us to see our loved ones again.
He sprints across the field
Navigating obstacle after obstacle
Addiction, illness, depression
Bits of him flying off into the distance
His hope, dreams, will
He's falling apart, getting smaller
Propelling himself forward regardless of his destruction
The finish line is a bullet
There is no applause
"When we die, do we die alone?"
And the word caught in my throat when I said no
Cause I knew that I was lying just to ease the pain of passing
But she's the one who left me all alone
Yeah, she's the one who left me all alone
And she sang, "Whoa! It's time for me to go.
I've been hanging 'round too long
And you gotta let me go."
"Just let me go"
And I know she saw disappointment in my eyes,
But she closed her own and said her last goodbyes
I guess she got me all along
And I sang, "Whoa! I've got to I've been choking on these words from long ago."
Burning fire set me free.
You know I'm burning out for this.
And we both sang, "Whoa! I've got to go.
I've been waiting for too long. I let you go."
"Yeah, we waited for too long we let each other go.
Yeah, we waited for too long we let each other go."
Yeah, I waited for too long and now you're gone.