.i. what kind of guy
tell me what to be
and i'll try to be it
tell me what to see
and i'll try to see it
show me your mind
and i'll try to read it
tell me what to crave
and i'll try to need it
tell me what to feel
and i'll try to feel it
tell me where you hurt
and i'll try to heal it
tell me what to say
and i'll try to say it
tell me what part to play
and i'll try to play it
tell me what to send
and i'll try to send it
tell me what you cherish
and i'll try to defend it
tell me what life to live
and i'll try to live it
tell me what you need
and i'll try to give it
give me your hand
and i'll try to take it
if you give me your heart
i'll try not to break it
James - Next Lover
The Smiths - Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want
ii. automatic (true story)
i want to make love to you; i want to give you my soul
whisper hotly in her ear
which do you want more?
just **** me already...
taken aback just a bit, start to question her choice...
quiets me with gentle finger to my lips
and begins explanation
when we ****...
finger draws trail up body, stomach quivers in silence
finger stops at middle of chest
your soul follows... automatic.
The Beautiful South - I Think The Answer's Yes
Modern English - I Melt With You
the only poem left inside of me
the one not deceived,
is an almost empty page,
nothing but white,
save for three small words.
Cowboy Junkies w/ Natalie Merchant - Misguided Angel (Live)
30th Anniversary concert of "The Trinity Sessions"
Siouxsie And The Banshees - The Last Beat Of My Heart
iv. not an ******
i come to you,
you consume my name,
and dull my senses;
i'd do the same
i come to you,
you procure my pain,
and lure away solely;
i'd do it again
i come to you
you always take me,
i come to you
you always wake me,
and if you'd come
i'd do the same,
but i guess it'd be better
if i never came.
The House of Love - I Don't Know Why I Love You
Morrissey - Yes I Am Blind
v. we fight a lot
do you know romance or faith?
do you really claim to know my soul?
have you drunk deep of it,
tasting its substance, and
recognizing its flavour?
i don't really think
you've really even tried.
night after night
i wake from dreams of crucifixion
nailed to a cross of indecision
gateways through hands and feet
disappear with the dew of mo(u)rning
but memories of these most disturbing visions
stay with me past the dawn;
maybe you ask more than your beauty can demand?
where are the stars?
i see only specks of fool's gold
cast out chaotic upon black sadness now.
but the soft light comes to heal by night
the painful truth that wounds by day
'til death do us part?
in early spring i planted you
then watched you grow the may rains through
the growth all altitude and height
emerald waves by divine right
summer's sun drew gold from green
on edges four and in-between
you danced with wind both night and day
life in the field, death in the clay
those days grew short, the nights too long
ice soon would come, grain froze upon
with winter soon and harvest nigh
our time had come to say goodbye
pretend i don't but wonder still
drag your remains beneath the till
i wonder still where you are now
shred hollow stalks beneath the plow
i gaze upon this barren floor
and know it's time to plant once more;
from flowing fields to loaves of bread...
you're nothing now to me but dead
PJ Harvey - Oh My Lover
Blues Traveler - Alone
Note: Awesome song!! Well worth a listen, truly.
vii. missing you (now and then)
my memories of then
alive this now so far removed from then
those fingertips which touch(ed) me then
forever touch me now
don't be misled
by paltry pleasures,
prose of raptures delicate;
for burning flesh and calming eyes,
not what i've ached for
now since then
your open ear, your nothin' much
things lost forever then
yesterdays alone for now
tomorrow's love forever then
if flames engulf our forest now
forever love me ever then
the weaknesses that hold me now
our strength forever haunts me then
let tears we shed forever now
forever haunt us only then
we lost those things together though...
and that should be enough for now,
and always be enough for then
The Icicle Works - Understanding Jane
Jefferson Airplane - Coming Back To Me
viii. monkeys and typewriters
(the drug addiction begins)
all i feel of you
shadows of your hands
shadow puppets and
it's getting hard to hold
hard to hold on to
i'm being pulled away
pulled out to the unknown
and something, something
must be there for i feel
its gravity, and it's
strong, too strong
i am floating
in a void
to be, but you
and your words
no longer live there ...
and now ...
now i feel ...
i feel nothing ...
nothing at all.
Harry Connick, Jr. - Don't Get Around Much Anymore
The Replacements - Sadly, Beautiful
ix. the desert
how long? how long has it been?
a week? a month? a year?
i don't even care anymore.
i thirst. for what? for water;
for God; maybe for love?
the sand. does it go on forever?
i taste it on my tongue. i feel
it on my skin. i breathe it in,
but do i embrace it? i think i might.
i wonder if this desert
is of my own making,
to leave i need not more than
open my eyes to the paradise
that truly surrounds.
yet, i remain blind.
that which i would do, i do not;
that which i would not, i do constantly
will i die here, or will i one day
escape to dwell among the living?
perhaps my oasis i've already passed.
i continue to walk.
awake from dreams
of loving you
and hate the morning sun
for you wait in the twilight
and still whisper, lover, come
back to the place we started
and to where our love began
a place within our dreams
made of the sandman's sand
resting across the theta waves
of ocean memory
i sail to it each night
and its warm walls shelter me
but with morning castle crumbles
and the sand is washed away
and i curse myself a fool
to think that it could ever stay
i no longer know you
though you live within my sight
small comforts come with slumber
you still love me in the night
The Cure - Closedown
Ahh, the musing of a 24 year-old heart, when it seemed I fell in love once a week, but couldn't find a date to save my life, I couldn't stop reading and re-reading "The Island of the Day Before" by Umberto Eco, I was just starting to find crude early html poetry homes online at The Starlite Cafe, The Poetry Pavilion, Creative Cove, and other places that exist now only in my memory, and my sense of what made a man was still formed by my reading point-form bios from my older sister's Tiger Beat magazines when I was a kid. lol.
These are all poems about, and songs that reminded,me of, and still do, my very first real love, my daughter's mother Briony-Jane (...when summers fade to palisades, a part of me, still restless, longs to hold her...).
And after all these long years, we finally reconciled just last year when her mom passed away after a long battle with cancer, like my mom did. It took a long time to close that circle, but we did it in the end, and are now friends again, and real co-parents to our daughter Brittany (who turns 28 in 9 days, yay!)
EDIT: I guess HP doesn't like underscore characters, so some of the song links won't work. Ah well. But here's one that is so **** good it's worth a listen, honest: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHT7Kr_50Uo