You called me selfish, that stung,
I cannot argue because it's true,
I don't want to be like that anymore,
But especially not to you.

Said I was greedy,
Last thing I expected to hear,
The only thing I am desperate for;
Your presence, need you near.

Self-centered? I can be,
When I am pushed towards the edge,
I have given so much, but not to myself,
Teetering on a shrinking ledge.

Qualities are not perfect or pure,
Weakness reflected in all I do,
You acceot me with my scars and faults,i
But I am going to be a better me for you.

Only her scarce trust
She saves and is stingy with
Freely spending time

And hear silent cries for help
Not a single word I've spoken
Look past perfect mask of joy
I am totally broken

Under smile pasted on my face
A thousand tears stifled by lies
Soul is drowning in the oceans
I refuse to leak out my eyes

I do not know if heaven exists or not
At this point impossible to tell
The one thing I know for certain
I am already living in hell

I am not strong enough to make you proud
I try but cannot stop the tears
There is no way to fight the pain
This is worse than my scariest fears

I swear I am trying to hold it back
I am trying to keep my heart in one piece
It's beat sounds so sad and slow
I start to worry it might cease

I am alone, I am empty
Clinging to tattered remnants of what we had
Replay your voice inside my head
Until it's melody drives me mad

I am going insane without you
Need to hold you close once more
I keep hoping you will change your mind
Show up one day at my door

Can't you see I am working hard to change?
Please tell me what you want me to do
I wish I was angry, wish I felt hate
All I can say is, well, I miss you

Have never felt such pain before
Never this kind of suffering
Used to love life but now I yearn
For the relief death would bring

Skin hurts in the absence of your touch
My heart breaks again each time I wake
I try and try to sidetrack myself
But nothing whisks away the endless ache

It is so much harder to breathe the air
Now Winter is almost gone
I choke on each breath I take
Filled with fear of you moving on

I no longer see the beauty
You introduced me to a long time ago
It has disappeared from everything
Except love we used to know

I never truly understood before
Meaning of the word "bittersweet"
Until this moment our fingers
Cautiously extend to meet

The rush of longing fills body
Mix of nostalgia and despair
Electric passion flowing through me
Almost more than I can bear

The teardrops wet my expressionless face
I am thankful the sky is dark
You tentatively fiddle with the radio
Unaware I'm falling apart

I am trying so hard to be grateful
Each second I spend with you
The whole time our skin is touching
Wondering if you're grateful too

My eyes glisten and betray dismay
You finally notice something is wrong
Crack a joke to make me laugh a little
The happiness only lasts so long

One look at you
My hopes soar
In sinking waves of blue drown
Scolding stupid emotions for flying
I know our love will come crashing down

Yet despite desperate restraints
Expectations climb against will
So fond of you it makes me sick
Too infatuated I feel ill

The air coats clothes with loneliness
Lungs with empty residue
Stardust permeates sore limbs
Brightening everything we do

So curl up halfway on your lap
Savoring temporary bliss
The agonizing thoughts lurking in my brain
Are not so easy to dismiss

The ecstasy blooming in my center
Is why I remain here
Why does all the good between us
Have to be tainted by pain or fear?

The sizzling sensations are sweet
Presence infects my core with glitter
It's the inevitable hurt when you break me in two
Rendering me jaded and bitter

Now I realize how wonderful
Yet awful that word can be
Learned it is impossible
Spelling bittersweet without "we"

A thousand reasons I should go
I should leave you behind
Know it's unhealthy
The way
I am unable to get you out of my mind

Believe when I tell you
In moments I could disappear
Wouldn't see me anymore
If so but I'd still be near

We are soulmates I am positive
Am drawn to your energy
Love is what we share
Friends is what we'll always be

Regardless of what happens between us
Always want to be part of your life
Are meant to be together somehow
Even if not as husband and wife

We will be there for each other
As lovers or best friends
Til the entire universe implodes
Time itself meets it's end

You will always have a place in my bed
As well as a place in my heart
You'll always be my first choice
Even if you decide to depart

The cruel reality of life and love
Is sometimes it doesn't work
It is tragic but if you care too much
Often you'll end up getting hurt

Something creates chasms between us
Drugs
Family
Or maybe thoughts
So tired of getting my heart broken
Just attempting to connect the dots

Consumed by dumb insecurity
Troubling my true perception
Causing me to worry about
You
Your possible deception

My fear drives a wedge between
As a result I only accuse
Both want to wipe slates clean
Tried but what is the use?

To keep living like this is madness
Punishing our hearts with pain
Friends warn me to be careful
All think I'm insane

Some might label me stupid
Foolish and naive
Just because I tolerate your *******
Does not mean that I believe

Different excuse each time you call
Letting me know you've let me down
You disappoint me over and over
Love is the reason I stay around

All of us need a
Wish upon a star every
Once in awhile

Write a poem to get off my chest
All my thoughts into a pile
And boring soap opera lines
Lighter for a little while

I see familiar metaphors
See the recycled rhymes
See the same old stories
Shared countless times

I see piece of a greater puzzle
Existence of chapters not written yet
Entire ocean of future to chart
Only gotten the tip of my pen wet

I see the history shaping my universe
Joy and sorrow imprinted
See the creation made from my transformation
Artwork I sloppily printed

I see natural progression
See soul spread out on display
See what's hidden in the spaces between words
I'm too scared to say

I see truths of the galaxy I've learned
Leave traces of my essence in each mark of ink
See miracles
Mights
Madness
Writing combines my spirit with things I think

Sharp guilt is a daily reminder
To improve, try, and follow through
Your pain will be the inspirational image
That allows me to properly show love for you.

Cold dark silence engulfs my room
I hide head under a homemade blanket shield
Eyes red; aching with weariness
From screams we shoot and wield

Tears burn rosy cheeks
Fall like embers through the air
Bits of sadness sting my skin
Sear tissue and remain there

Demons living in my skull
Provide everlasting pain
It lingers on torso and limbs
Pours water down my chin like rain

I have been thinking
Maybe it is okay
I am sure a lot of people
Feel the same way

I am caught in the past
Though the future seems bright
I think of two
Instead of one each night

He is the absolute best
Anyone who looks can see
On second thought, wait
HE might be better for me

I look forward to his call
I can hear him shine
But I also wait anticipating
For HIM to come online

How he makes me
Feel deep inside
Is a stormy
Blue ocean tide

HE makes my head spin
Like a twirling carosel
HE has got me under
Some kind of magic spell

I need to choose
Which one my heart dreams of
How do I decide
When I am double in love?

I am the sun; a blazing star,
A burning orb of desire,
Stunning and warm, but don't get too close,
My passion will scorch like fire.

Intensity is daunting,
Temperature hard to take,
Heated temper tantrums erupt
At daybreak daily each time I wake.

You help me rise through volcanic bursts,
Lifting me above distress,
Extinguishing my molten rage
With the logic of your cool caress.

I light up in your presence,
A glow radiates from my core,
Bask in heat from my affection,
You are the one I shine for.

I will love you with fervor
But scald you with blistering touch,
Use caution: I fear you will crumble
To ashes within my fiery clutch.

This must be destiny

I hear echoes of warnings from my former self ricocheting in my head

This must be deserved for the plethora of ways I have hurt people

To mark me with pain I will remember and maybe be a better person

This must be fate
There was no other way out

I still hope things will improve but I think this suffering was intended and therefore my punishment must be served

Every time you call,
I'll come running,
I will not stop until I collapse,
I will not be far away.

Whenever you feel blue,
I will cheer you up,
No matter what it takes,
I won't be far away.

If you feel cold,
I'll give you a hug,
Wrap my arms around you,
I won't be far away.

So, in conclusion,
If you love me,
I'll love you,
I won't be far away.

Why do I keep making the same mistakes
Over and over when I know it isn't right?
Will I ever learn how to fix my flaws
Or are we fated to forever fight?

How can you forgive me
When I have lied and broke your heart?
How much more of my ******* can you handle
Before you fully break apart?

Will you ever be able to trust me again
After I have given you no reason to?
Have I completely ruined what we had
Or is there still a chance for me and you?

Is there anything I could do or say
To show you how much you mean to me?
What do I have to do to prove to you
That with your help I can be who you need me to be?

How do I change my stubborn ways
When I have not a clue where to start?
Is it possible for me to make my wrongs right
And repair the wounds I created on your heart?

You are the greatest mom I could ever have
You're cruel occasionally when you get mad
You are cold on surface but I know inside
Warm heart is cloaked with fear and pride
And I love you but have a difficult time showing
Settle for easy words I like throwing
I apologize that dark mood cuts deep
True intention was never to make you weep
Cigarette-scented squeezes cement bond
Cradled in arms I need no facade
Wisdom and warmth woven into your skin
Every night protect from the howling wind
Soft as a whisper your tender touch
Your edges are calloused but never too rough
You cast eyes away from my flaws
Silent disappointment inevitably cause
You hold me in the highest regard
Watching my crimson spill must be hard
The vividness of your personality
Like constellations coruscate originality
Yet not a single celestial entity compares to you
You are full of magic in everything you do
Displaying your radiant colors to all
No matter how heavy
Catch me when I fall
Believing to be beautiful
Actually am a sorry sight
Telling the truth when it hurts because that is what's right
You kiss wounds so that better they feel
Blind to my ugly parts as if they aren't real

It seems I'm starting to miss you less,
As every day goes by,
and when I say I'm happy for you?
Now its not just a lie.

It doesn't hurt when you brush by me,
Because I understand,
And there's only a little bit of pain,
When I see you walk, hand in hand.

I could stare into your eyes,
With only a trace of regret,
Because now I have good memories,
and im happy that weve met.

"What couldve been" runs through my head,
Sweet, but all too vain,
Because, in reality,
What would I have gained?

I don't want another chance,
Ive accepted that you're gone,
I just want to be your friend,
and somehow, ill move on.

I hope she walks all over you,
Like a doormat on the floor,
I hope you feel the way I did,
When you didnt need me anymore.

I hope you wake up shaking,
In the dark and all alone,
A nightmare in your tired mind,
and no messages on your phone.

I hope it hurts to watch her laugh,
and know shes happy without you,
But when you start feeling victimized,
Remember what you put me through.

I hope you get what you deserve,
and you finally fall apart,
I hope she makes you realize,
What its like to have a broken heart.

I hope she opens your eyes,
To exactly what you are,
And if you're still in love with her,
You can love her from afar.

I hope your very worst dreams come true,
So you'll know what it's like to bleed,
I hope she rips away from you,
Every single thing you think you need.

I hope you see what it's like,
To be torn apart in two,
To have everything you love,
Turn their back around on you.

I hope you fall to pieces,
That you can never rearrange,
but above all this i hope,
That maybe, somehow, you change.

I never invited any of this,
I don't choose to feel this way,
You should not have exhausted and left me here,
Why did you have to run away?

I was immature, I should have known better,
Guys like you are too solid to be true,
You just made me so happy that I
Couldn't help but pay my heart to you.

It shattered to pieces in your hands,
You looked at me and your gaze said farewell,
I left them laying on the floor,
Who needs love when your life is hell?