Johnny walker Dec 2018
Deep In thought I am
of today and that of
my darling a year
since
Helen passed away
I'm thinking of the
last that I held her
the last she ever
spoke to
me
but somehow can't
seem to remember
why I just don't seem
to no where once I remembered
all
Try to remember the last I held her last time she spoke to me, I can't don't why
Johnny walker Nov 2018
Shadows of our life
come dancing off the
walls acting out our lives
when once we were
together and how happy
that we
were
But I know this to be a
dream that I'm dreaming
don't won't the dream
to end now I've held and
kissed you, but never want
to awaken from this
dream
A dream of our own shadows dancing of the walls
Joseph Loggi Oct 2018
I got a couple of things to say
That I feel would clear
All that fog that hangs
Inside my head
and makes it
so hard to
think.
But if I open my mouth
All the mist will
Come out
And I won't see
the truth.
I had seen a painting, entitled,
“The Portrait Of A Poet”, it was
perfect in its beauty, and yet
still, the viewer had not known
the secrets it held, the thorns
encasing the roses in the
garden surrounding her,
the book she held with
her heart’s song, the
symphony she veiled
In the sea of eyes
flowing from her
feet with faces
of a blank canvas,
seeking the color
of love, when they
gazed upon the
painting, they
did not see in
her eyes, the
one who saw
the beauty and
light in everything
within the greatest
suffering, they
looked past the
bird with the
shining wings
who lived in the
cage, she was
unaware of
her luminous
features as
her colors
were painted,
for the truth
of her lies
within the
flower of
purity,
touched
by the
moonlight,
she sits with her
demure hands
rested, gentle
and soft with
the gaze of
reverie, the
dreamer with
the heart
of the ocean,
opening her
embrace,
she seeks
nothing and
receives all,
the woman
with a soft
fringe
touching
her temple
once stroked
with her slender
fingers the
pages unseen
within the
books of
her enamor,
she was
enchanted
by fairytales,
and captivated
by the magic
unnoticed by
the ones who
possess them,
as they spoke
in cafes and
kissed within
the homes of
wondrous,
hidden places,
she saw the
rising stars
as he whispered,
“I love you”,
the man who
loved her
and longed
for her roses,
as he gazed
upon her
portrait,
as he
opened
as the
doors,
and they
sighed
in the union
of the swan
and the lover.
exist Aug 2018
it can be so incredibly amazing
yet so incredibly isolating
to realize you’re one of a kind
and no one will understand your mind
daily struggle
A W Apr 2018
Finally, tears were shed.
There was a heart that bled.
An able body that could not be held.
Calling out to the silence; cold.
Shaking a hollow breath.
There I lay beneath.
Your feet raised to step over me once more.
I can't bare the pain in my core.

No longer do I feel my life is mine.
I don't feel like myself anymore. He took that away from me. The fear I constantly have feels like I can't reach out.
lins Mar 2018
my love is you,
my dear,

your smile is my light,

your eyes welcome my heart,

my love,
you've got me.
Oskar Erikson Jan 2018
Vermillion scarred skin.
Your lips bring blood
back to me.
Aleeza Jan 2018
if you were to ask me right now if i still loved you
i would not be able to answer
everyone who has asked me to this point has gotten the same answer
i don't know
maybe i do but in a different way
i have no time to really assess if i still do

you'd think after a few years
declaring to all the world that i don't anymore
you'd think that i mean it
that i am sure now of what i say
but there are moments that i question myself
is everything i've denied actually true?

there are days that i silently wish
hundreds of thoughts rushing to try to become the one i deem best
scenes i could probably write but deny myself the chance to
i might never fully admit it but there are so many things that i want to tell you about
like how my day went and interesting facts i found and that funny thing that happened
like how some people stress me out and how i'm almost always angry and the feeling that my heart is giving out
like how i miss you but i know that i can't keep a conversation going
like how i want to cling while i'm also stepping away

and on those days i understand
that what i want to talk about is mildly intriguing
barely enough to last more than an hour at best
that we are both busy and too preoccupied with other matters
almost drowning in a sea of responsibilities we cannot abandon
that some things are better kept to myself
because i know that they are of no importance to you
and sometimes i fear
that you feel the same way about me

there are days that i want to keep trying
i have no idea where that could take me
if any of it is worth my time and my exhaustion
but i still try
still rack my brain for anything to say
still try to find common ground when already we are bored of each other
still stay up to talk even as my body groans in protest
still support the things that you do and the choices that you make
still understand why you shut me out when all i ever did was let you in
still try to arrange meetings just for us so we can at least converse without the distance

and on those days i don't get much
i try to make excuses for it but i'm starting to lose ways to go around them
because no matter how many times i try i find myself bearing more weight than you do
i have learned to know when to stop initiating conversation
i have learned that we are more different than we made out to be
i have learned that i stay up far too late for a reply that will never come
i have learned that my support isn't what you are looking for
i have learned that you will never let me in
i have learned that i will be waiting for nothing in the agreed meeting places

there are days that i want to cave in
i want to tell you of my hurt and hope that you can comfort me
tell you about how hard it is to breathe sometimes
tell you about the burden i should stop pretending i could tolerate
tell you about the how it's gotten worse these past few months
tell you about how i need something, someone to cling to
tell you about how there are hard weeks that make me want to be held for a long time

and on those days i close myself to the world
choosing not to tell you any of that
choosing not to tell anyone that
because everyone else will worry
fuss over me and try to convince me that things will be better
because i know that you won't
and i don't blame you
i have been difficult and confusing and i seemed so intent on not healing
but it would have been nice to know that you will be there for me
trying to, at least

there are days that i want to forget
completely put in the past and never remember
but they always haunt me
always try to remind me of what was done
like how you forget everything until the very last minute
like how you put certain things before me time after time
like how i let you choose even when it hurt me

and on those days i knew how to accept
i will always forgive even with the lack of an apology
because who am i really to you?
who am i to demand attention, to demand time?
i have no right to it, that much i know
so i forgive again and again
always having hope for the next time around
trying to drown out the voices that say that i am little more to you than something occasionally important

because i know that it isn't true
you can still remember little facts about me even when i've forgotten that i ever told you
you can still see me in so many things that you always bring them up to me
you can still stand by me as i make decisions that are particularly hard
you can still talk to me despite the rift i caused
you can still say that you are immensely proud of who i've become

and sometimes, i think
you
you, who fought to save us, save what remnants of what we used to have
you, who never hesitated to tell me i was important whenever i doubted it
you, who would surprise me with small gestures that i would remember weeks after
you, who found my stories amusing when very few others did
you, who would read everything i wrote and believed in me more than i could

and sometimes, i remember
that i would probably go to the ends of the world to find someone who can be there for you
listen to you and understand you and remind you to rest
support you and give you feedback and get you smiling as much as possible
someone to know all the little quirks and all the things that make you who you are
someone to stay unlike the others who left
i remember that they asked why i wanted to do that when i could be that for you
i remember answering that there are things i cannot be for you and that there are things you cannot be for me
i remember saying that you will always be that light i want to protect
for you may surround yourself in shadow but i know of the flicker in you

and there are things that i can never be sure about
like the best times to talk or how to predict reactions from you
but i am sure of one thing, at least
i am sure that i will keep you
and that i will try to make what we have better than what it is now

i still don't have a clear answer for the question
and i guess i will never have one
for now, i hope that all i've said will be enough.
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