The butter started to glisten with fear
In the face of the icy saucer
In the silence the sound of the basket reciting angrily-
There was no place for an affair with
The strawberry jam.
So sickly sweet
The pleading knife resisted;
Don't make me do it

A smooth slice,
A pale & hard interior.
The shaking jug cried.
And the jam fell to the floor.

We were wild and eager in the cold,
Wanting to explore
Life lived by each minute-
Shot-
We wanted more and more.
And these are the nights remembered, in September
And we were told to enjoy them, remember, September

You have just one chance,
Don’t you know that child
Drink, smoke and dance,
Don’t care,  
Go wild
Have no regrets, you shouldn’t care,
Please that’s what they say
But we feel pain, tears pour like rain
When we wake up the next day

But those are the nights remembered, in September
Force yourself, enjoy them,
Those nights,
In September

Go insane and feel no pain
They don’t know what to say,
When you wake up and look around
At the hurt caused the next day

Please say you remember
The ages that have past,
A family so large with one woman in charge
The time it moves so fast.

A history repeated
Through the paths of time
A soldier, a sailor,
A prayer and dream maker,
All encompassed in some crime

Many children, different mothers,
Adopted, born in sin
Amongst tears and blood and a five year long flood
Their drive was just to win.

As one was added, one was torn away,
Listen, beg for them to stay.

If you want to feel safe,
Or even just calm
I know somewhere that you can go.
Find a bathroom stall- nice and clean
Make sure there are no gaps above the door and walls
No spaces high
And no spaces low
Sit on the seat, touch your finger tips to each side
Close your eyes and stare at the smooth surface
Leave your worries (or your mind) outside
It may sound crazy
Or a bit bizzare
But give it a try
It isn't far

I have the city
Beneath me. If I fall, they
Will catch me, won't they?

Last night,
In bed tucked up tight,
I heard a man whistling in the darkness

Teddy Bear's Picnic from down below
It was clear, soft and slow
I got up and whistled back

He wouldn't hear me from floor four
But then he continued the morbid tune
And it was even louder
Than before

Hey sir, please don’t go,
We need you so,
You could help us if you really tried
Don’t turn your back,
See here, what we lack,
You can put us back on track
Help, we’re so sick,
Someone aid us, quick,
There’s a war raging on outside
Someone please be aware,
Our bodies are bone and bare,
Turn around, sir, just at least pretend to care

Blood and money
All you want is money,
Smile as you go past, no one finds this funny
What you don’t see, you don’t care about
Riding head upright, while we all bow and shout
Riches, riches, sell some of your riches
Replace them with the grey bodies in the ditches
What you don’t see, you don’t care about
Riding head upright, while we all stand and shout

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire,
I think it will end in a nuclear explosion.

Apple floating in the leaves,
Apple shining bright,
Apple ready to be picked
(and lusted with)
Winking in the dusk,
Ready for a fight,
Get ready to be  
Tricked

Whispers in your ear in the golden glow-
Uncover those instincts that just don’t show-
One little bite,
They’ll never know,
Reaching for that sin so time does slow

*Just don’t think about it

I want a soft touch
Lips like blossoms, with feeling
One day, I'll find it

I returned to find my name had been stepped upon
Through no fault of my own
Through nothing I had done

Boys had interpretted something that they heard
And spread my identity around
Tinged and blackened with what they preferred

I am innocent in all of this
I wanted to fight back
But people told me not to bring it forth
It would make it worse, to cut them some slack

If I was a man this wouldn't be an issue
Please can people stick up for those who have been trodden on
This is a fight one girl cannot make alone

Say goodbye from afar,
Watching in that long red dress
Surrounded by the men in suits at the bar,
That gaze just aching finesse

Dancers swaying in the tropical breeze,
The wind sighing through those tropical trees,
Eyes murmur a silent song,
Before the dawn breaks, I’ll be long gone

Girl, please go, I tremble in your sight,
To leave, not stay, it’s taking all my might,
Your grace is etched in my mind, all throughout the fight,
The world is out there to explore

Say goodbye from afar
Watching in that long red dress,
Surrounded by the men at the bar
That gaze just weeping finesse

The tear weeps down your cheek,
That upright pose that will not break,
Watching them, watching you watching me,
Alone at night, is looking more bleak

Girl, please go, I tremble in your sight
To leave, not stay, it’s taking all my might
Your grace is etched in my mind, all throughout the fight,
The world is out there to explore

Please write me your letters
Although in darkness, I will reply
Though in pain I’ll feel better
With them clutched to my chest like that I’ll die
Like that I’ll die

Like that I’ll die

Say goodbye from afar,
Watching in that long red dress
Surrounded by the men in suits at the bar,
That gaze just aching finesse

He wanted to get through to me
And knew that I liked poetry
So he jotted down his selfish thoughts
Added commas and some dots
Spaced out the backhanded phrases
Which he thought were deep and full of praise
And tried to cover his intentions with flowery description
To persuade me with a mental inscription

It is easy to tell when poems are from the heart
And the ones which have been deeply rendered
So I read those lines and cringed from the start
Because now I am sure it is you who is the pretender

Angels, in heaven
I am just a mortal man,
I wield power above the common score
Angels, in heaven
I have done what I can,
It’s hard to think of the sick and poor

So tell me, please Angels,
How can I be so taught and hard,
In the end it’s just a raging fight
I touch it, I taste it,
From fire and blood I am so scarred,
Believe I still contain immortal light

Like anger,
Furious anger,
The anger lives inside
It drives me,
This dagger,
Within me it resides
Was it my choice-
I gave the sound-
Which burned them all
Brought them to the ground
Was it my choice-
They had to die-
The sick and helpless slaughtered
For a lie

Forgive me, dear Angels
At some point I will go,
At some point I will reach the end
Don’t abandon me here,
Don’t push me down to sink so low
The things I’ve done you can surely mend

Like Anger,
Dark anger,
My soul is full of sin
The world is,
A stranger,
I must die or I must win

Angels please just see me.
Angels please just take me.
For I must die or I must win

Out on the horizon
A line of glowing green
And the squids all flock towards it
That flourescent glean

What is it to them do you think?
An unknown beacon emitting warmth
Do they think they'll find love
As they all commute north

I suppose they are tricked and trapped and tangled in nets
Blinded by the light
Drawn towards the threat
From the green glowing beacon
Their path was set
Into the end and out of the wet.

You’re awake,
But trapped in your mind
I was there,
When you left us all, behind
You can’t escape this verdict, no chance,
Everyone knows what you’ve done-
You’re a monster,
But an angel to just some
You’re a monster,
You can’t escape
Just try to run,
Monster,   Monster,   Angel,   Monster,   Monster

In a labyrinth of lies,
Beasts track you in a web of spiders
And the raven flies,
A sign that you’ve arrived

You can hide it from yourself, soldier
But heaven knows your sins
You’re a monster, yes you’ve tried to win-
Monster, try to live within that skin

Monster, Monster, Monster, Monster, Monster

There she was, standing on the train
Drops in her hair from the outside rain
She had rough holes in her shoes,
A small tear up her tights,
Beneath her ruffled hair her eyes shone bright.

Reading her book in just a sweater,
Moving her lips with each glorious letter
Not wearing a coat,
Saving up for the right one,
Heading home to laugh and have fun.

The same skirt that has been worn each day this week,
Beneath her blouse sleeves delicate wrists do peak,
A curl behind her ear and
Regular earrings worn without fail,
Behind her she leaves a positive trail.

Riding here, a cloak over your face,
What has caused you to come to this haunted place?
Atop a horse that is one with the night,
Why are you here, this isn’t your fight
My hand in yours leading the way,
You beg me to go so why should I stay
Dark eyes with hair swept over your face,
Why have you come to this silent place?

Back on her horse and riding away
Just riding, away
Back on her horse riding away
Away
The shadows shoot by under the moon’s silver rays
An old ruined castle for the night we will stay
The dew stained grass
Until the dawn of the day

Taking your hands gentle with grace
Now we are here is it the end of the chase?
Leaning to you yet away you do move
Bringing me here, why don’t you approve
Hearing the ocean, the wind in the trees
You’re still and pure, please just be freed
Staring at me, your touch full of grace,
Is it the end of the unstated chase?

Is this a chase
Chase
Why this strange chase

This overgrown room with an old and slow pace,
Acting as if we’re in wait for a race
Taking my hand, is there something you know,
Flying back home, what won’t you show?

Return to the villa there’s a man in my bed,
Drips on the floor from the shot in his head
You took me away at a frantic pace
You look at me as if we’ve just won a race

The race
An innocent race

Secrets carried on the breeze,
Why aren’t you listening?
Turn your head away,
Just hear them please.
In your head, they’re in your head,
Your exiled people.
In your head, though they are dead
These unknown people.

Soft voices call,
Yet no one’s there-
Whisper secrets,
You still care-
Beyond belief,
Beyond your sight,
Murmuring shadow
In dark and light,

In dark and light.

You're going deaf, you can’t touch me,
What is real life, and what are feelings?
They’re clouds sir, mirages, why can’t you see?
They’re fallen skeletons, sir, not alive, just leave it be.

Soft voices call,
They can’t forgive,
You think they’re real,
Yet they don’t live,
Fight them off,
Memories of the night
Keep staring straight,
Let them take flight.

At work staring up,
My head full of lines and poems,
Not present again.

Floating on a grand barge,
Watch the man that’s in charge,
Pride and power in his voice.
The hammock gently swings,
Swaying in the wind,
Was this your final choice?

The animals are creating noise,
Barge-hands who look like boys,
The current’s getting stronger.
Flies settle on your damp chest,
Is this some sort of regal test,
Close your eyes a moment,

Just listen to the breeze.

You’re here, it’s here
They are, all here,
No one really cares.
Dream of a storm, can you hear?
There is no need for you to fear
Fingers on the rippling surface,
Drops like tears
You know now that it’s too near,
The diamond sky is just too clear.
Watching the shore fade, hear the cheers

You’re leaving dear.

He watched her in her white dress on the way to church,
And to and from work
Chatting and laughing with her friends.
Each day before she got home he would lay a single red rose at her door,
Scurrying away as she walked around the corner,
Timing it perfectly so that her father wouldn’t find the secret flower instead.

Each time she’d lean down to pick up the rose,
Smiling with puzzlement,
And look around her, and each time he’d feel the urge to rise from the bushes and show himself.

Finally, one day before she turned the corner to her house,
He walked straight up to her and handed her the rose.
Her smile turned from recognition of the rose,
To a frowning bewilderment.
‘Why?’ she asked.
‘Because I love you’.

‘I’m sorry, I can’t accept these any more’.
Head lowered, she moved past him and closed the door firmly.
He ignored the hot trickle of his blood as he clutched the stem into his fist and stared after her.

Now that she knew him, at church she would see him out of the corner
Of her eye and look pointedly away.
His heart tore at his chest.
He wanted to go up to her,
To explain,
To talk to her,
But he was too scared of another rejection.

At night he hid in the bushes, ignoring the little ****** of the twigs, and watched her silhouette at her bedroom window, longing to climb through and confront her.

One night, as if she could sense his watching,
She came to the window and drew the blinds forcefully.

On the way back from work one day a small boy ran up to her and Handed her an envelope,
Then scurried away in embarrassment.
Smiling,
She took it from him and opened it.
Dried rose petals drifted to the ground

like desert scented snowflakes.

He watched as she turned pale and tore up the envelope so that the rose petals and paper alike blew away along the dusty streets.

The next night she found a pile of dried rose petals on her pillow.
Angrily she ****** them from the window,

Creating a furious red rain.

When she was changing the next day into her work clothes,
She found another rose folded into her clothes.
Heart pounding, she bolted her window before she left.
Now, to and from work, she kept her head down and glanced around her feverishly.

Days soon past and she received no roses, and it seemed that the mysterious man had vanished.
Now, the letters she received were from suitors and she kept them in a box at the end of her bed,
Tied with a ribbon.
On the day she came into her room glowing with a diamond shining On her left hand,
She found her room filled with bouquets of roses.
Confused, she asked her father who had put them there.

Someone knocked on the door.
The man that she had loved had been stabbed on the street in the Balmy evening,
And no one had seen who it was.
In his button hole had been a red rose.
The constable handed it to her; ‘I’m guessing this was for you’.
Then she collapsed.

The next day they found the body of an unknown male drowned in the river.
In his hand was clutched a white handkerchief embroidered with roses.
She sat in her room, looking in the mirror at her pale face and the eyes Absent of their usual glow.
Suddenly she saw his face in the mirror next to hers, and heart leaping She swung around.

There was no one there.

Turning back to the mirror she saw only her reflection,
But a red rose lay on the table in front of her.

That evening the body of a woman was found drowned in the river,

In the exact same place as the previous body had been found,

With roses in her hair.

We bumped in the street
Now her ring is down the sink
The baby, all smiles

Is this the real world,
A ticking time bomb?
Or a clock,
As I hope I won't explode.

In my career I need to rise,
Be successful and stable with an iron fist
At the same time I need to find a husband but I'm not even meeting people
Have kids young so I'm an active grandmother,
But then, what about my job?

Everyone is having children older these days,
They say,
But what about my biologicial countdown timer?
A woman called me a 'lady' the other day,
And my friends are getting married.

Is life a checklist?
If so, maybe the world needs to rethink.

Girl in white,
Soon you will dream,
I’ll try not to scream,
As you go, into the light.
You’ll smile and say,
Now is the day,
We’ll go far away,
With our hands clasped so tight.

I hope the sun decides to shine
Through the drifting blinds,
And the warmth will flow
from your eyes to mine.
The butterflies will mirror
How your soul takes flight,
As you ride that tall ship into the light.

The perfume,
It won’t fade
As your last song,
Is made,
Your flowers will be laid
On the earth, damply fresh.
The stars will shine,
and we’ll drink red wine,
Your favourite lines, forever
Etched, into our minds.

The moths will be tied
To your dress just outside,
It’s a message to the world,
The most sublime of signs.
The ocean will whisper
Secrets, throughout the night
I’ll keep your candle burning, always bright.

The books that we read, lying out on your bed
Not a tear I’ll shed
As the words, spin around,
Buried deep in my heart.
In them I’ll try to see
Why death is free,
You didn’t seem scared to me
When the wind echoed
‘depart’.

Your hair was intertwined
As the petals aligned,
A golden sweet glow,
From your toes to your spine.
I’ll sit here in the silence
I know I am in your sight
And when time takes me to you, I’ll alight.

So many words that seem so morose
Line after line of sadness
In these dark phrases, we do engross
Our emotions will turn to madness

So for a small moment, let’s think of what life really contains
Away from this swirling devotion
If that’s all we focus on we’ll all go insane
Let’s deviate from all this commotion

Outside it’s sunny and even if it’s not,
Imagine you’re inside and cosy
Sipping cocktails by the sea while it’s hot,
Laughing until your cheeks are rosy

Sand between toes
The smile of a stranger
A bubbling creek flows
With no grief and no danger

Chocolate and ice cream and sugar and spice,
Sunglasses and flowers and everything nice,
These little things should all suffice,
To make your eyes glow, away from the **vice

I have travelled the world,
                                               Climbed tall ships at sea,
       But I still do not know
                                               Who I want to be


Stare out the window,
                                       What does life mean to you?
How do we know,
                                       What we are meant to do?


I am wild in spirit
                                 But I can’t seem to      grow        it.

Please someone                           help me,

                                              Help me to show it.

A frangipani candle,
Sandalwood perfume
The shimmer of the shadows,
That light up the room

A hard covered book
With a silver inscription,
Warm jasmine tea,
Baklava from the kitchen

Soft red lipstick
And a robe of white silk
Dark lash rimmed eyes,
A bath of rose petals, floating in milk

Sweet drifting music
From the balmy outside,
The chirping of cicadas
And the whisper of the tide

Gentle gold jewellery
Which can carry you away
A feather pillow on the wooden floor,
The start
                          To the end
                                                       Of the day

I remember your breath,
In the room without death,
You were ranting so strange with your hands.
Stroking your hair,
In the perfumed air
While the blossoms
Lay still on your land.

And those were the days,
And that was our world,
We were running from the filth
And the cash.
And I was in love
With your eerie kind soul,
I still have your
White ribbon sash.

But you weren’t aware,
With the books in your head,
Amongst the butterflies drifting around.
You weren’t aware,
With your bright shining hair,
Just sleep now,
You’re sleeping now,
Just sleep now,
You’re awake now,
Your fingertips gracing the ground.

I remember your breath,
In the room without death,
Your jewels useless,
They lay on the mat.
We sat and we sang,
Ignoring the bang,
As the prisoners were shot through their hats.

And then closing your eyes
From the outside noise,
That tried to sneak up under the door.
You sighed out a song,
You said ‘God no more’
I have lived well
Though I didn’t live long.

And you floated away,
Like a white feathered moth,
Your face
It was warmed by the sun.
You floated away,
On that tropical dusk day,
You’re asleep now,
Please just sleep now,
You’re asleep now,
A constant dream now,
Stop feeling the earth down

It’s done.

I’m cheerful in the morning
Then the clocks tick over into another time zone
I hope that the phone does not ring
Because if it does I know who it will be
I can hear the snake in your tone
Like a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes
The voice with no face
I sit rigid while the others speak down the line
Yet you signal me out
Making me feel like a sparrow amongst the doves
More than friendly emails
More than friendly offerings
Telling me to keep things
Just between us

There is nothing to keep.

You are a poison across the sea
And try as you might, you cannot affect me.

I’ve seen hell- and it’s white, snow white.

Today the train wasn’t packed
Although moving space, it lacked
Someone got their bag caught in the doors, fact
And a woman elbowed me without much tact.

Luckily the man on the platform always has a smile
Which makes me happy while I wait a while
So I’m not in a bad mood at the end of the mile
That I travel, then queue at the escalator in single file

It is a relief to reach the suddenly cool air
And the breeze calms me as it ripples through my hair
I am then in no need of a jacket as I settle in my chair
And I forget about the cost of my journey’s fare

When the heat of summer goes
Starry day
Will leave no more
Without the man of the moon
We will rest
In it
Again

But in sleep,
And in dreams
We can’t see your voice.
And in sleep,
But in dreams
We shall speak again.

If the desserts and hills rise,
And I leave to the start of nights,
In the light we hear her sounds
Beckoning me away

I will leave there

And leave again

I wish I was a dragonfly,
Blue in the shimmering sun
Settling on the tropical palms,
When my breeze guided journey was done.

The tips of my wings would softly skim
The water of the pool,
A microscopic dragon in flight
My eyes, two kaleidoscope jewels.

My family would have existed for three million years,
Or more,
But I shall glide for just six weeks,
Enough time to see, what’s worth flying for.

I could see her glancing at me behind lowered eyes
It was either me,
Or the book.
Suddenly she turned, the candle flame mirrored in her pupils
Her face was flushed by nervousness
Or maybe drink.
She liked literature she said
But I think she also liked my accent
She was wild
I was wild
No time for the corperate world although that's where we both existed
Reading, travelling, red hair
We liked the same things
So
I never messaged her back

He was sitting behind me in a resteraunt
Alone
Engrossed in a book
An Iranian author
A set of essays
He was nice to the waiter
A foreign accent, a tattoo of the sea and bright red hair
A candle created shadows on his face
I turned around
I like to explore unknown territory
He held out his phone
Out of place in the context of his person
Perhaps that's why he hasn't made any more contact
Like the fleeting patterns on his skin on a cold city night