Emptiness.
    Rain.
        Coffee.
            Books.
      ­         Music.
                 Nature.
                   Distance.
                      Time....
                          My Unending
                              Surreal but True
                                  Utopia__

A silent symphony plays in the background
Soothing the atmosphere of its whispers and tears 

There's an aroma of quietness all around 
A hint of madness in serenity it bears 

Tommorows cease to exist from now on,
and can you not hear ?

Life singing the yesterday's songs,
To be lost in the approaching calmness my dear 

Time slows down to a halt 
Too tired to move and caress the impending doom 
And night saves the memory to be kept in a vault;
Safe and hidden from the looming gloom.

And I lie in ecstasy 
a dream I longed to dream 

A fading reality 
To be erased of all that I've seen 

And I recall my oldest friend 
A hope that I banished long ago 
But it haunts me again in the end 
And the hope to feel alive grows 
A spark in the embed darkness 
Ignites the desires I locked away 
And it possess me once again 
To let me please my whites and greys 

And I bleed of all that poison 
That this world and I brew 
Letting go of all the answers 
That once my soul knew 
Slowly but surely 
The coldness I nurtured, is replaced by the warmth of my sin,

And I wonder with peace 
What the morrow may bring ?

And I wonder with peace 
When the morrow may ring ?

And I dream away my life 
As I exhale my last precious breath 

Forever lost in my sweet dream 
into the approaching beautiful death.

Wait a moment I'm thinking,
The sadness syncing,
Maybe i'm dead,  I'm never blinking
always in a room closed, in my head
And thinking, and inking, in my bed
Never awake, always sinking.

Bottles by the bed, in my head
with fear shed, and years bled
and my sadness been drinking
All my tears and pain,

Maybe i'm insane, tell me, what's my name ? What's my name ?  Tell me, what's my name ? I'll ask again, what's my name ? Please whisper!

There's nobody else in my brain, It's so filthy and i cannot even look at the man in the mirror.
He makes feel so ugly.




From Compton to the streets
I heard their names
From a random city
I try but i have no game
I have no name, and no shame
Feed me your hollow
I'll eat away a part of your blame
I'll follow you around the world
Just tell me my name ?



I'm no one, no heart, maybe someone
But no scars, I'm tired and done,
so fired up,
In love, here to lose and burn.




I'll never learn that i can
Never ever reach the sky
More lies, sure i'll cry,
If someday i die, before my time
Maybe it's all in my mind
The walls and the rhymes
The kind man and the blind
I don't understand but it's fine

I'm not gonna make it
I hate it, hate that fact
In fact, it makes me want to
Not be mad, makes me sad
That I wasn't raised to be bad
Taught to be mad,

So normal, wearing formal
Staying dormant, fearing gold
And the glittering ornaments
There's no fun in fancy garments
I don't have any green for the
Entitlement,

Maybe I was wrong to seek
Enlightenment,
Not meant to speak anything foreign

Always looking for questions on the line, online, on random forums, what's mine
Whats yours, nobody knows and that's the moment, where you can find your torment,

The pain would still grow and my voice will still hurt, fill my share of world with words and more dirt,

Dawn to dust, gone with rust, here i lust lest i fall in love, and i know i cannot keep up, i'm so fed up, stuck within myself and locked, with no one to talk, not enough space for me to walk, i wear no face and i am who i am not, when I see in the mirror it stops, the clock is shattered, and it doesn't matter who won.

Wait a moment I'm thinking,
The sadness syncing,
Maybe i'm dead,  I'm never blinking
always in a room closed, in my head
And thinking, and inking, in my bed
Never awake, always sinking.

Bottles by the bed, in my head
with fear shed, and years bled
and my sadness been drinking
All my tears and pain,

Maybe i'm insane, tell me, what's my name ? What's my name ?  Tell me, what's my name ? I'll ask again, what's my name ? Please whisper!

There's nobody else in my brain, It's so filthy and i cannot even look at the man in the mirror.
He makes feel so ugly.


that old man on the pavement has no eyes,
It's better to be cold than to live in a fear you cannot describe,
With every tear we hide, more of us, and more of us die,
every year we make a resolution for pollution and we try,
to fly without wings, we can do without things,
they say sky is the limit, but nobody asks why, why can't we search for it within

People going bezerk over little things, and you cannot win,
Or you'll be left in a riddle, felt alight for a while and now i'm back in the middle playing second fiddle to my heart that is brittle,

My pain won't wither, and they won't whisper to me why they linger

All around my soul, masking me whole, and i keep asking why am I so cold ?
Where is the life, my rhymes, that line when I need something to hold

Nothing's new and I've said everything I had to say before,
Painting my blues, as i can, but I don't understand, i'm never sure,

Have no clue, they've locked the door, and now i'm a mad-man.

And the madness grows, the sadness knows, as the winds blows,

And the sand eats the earth, we were all dirt, we are all dust.

And nobody knows.




Yeah, i read, i read all day
I bleed, i feed all day, i see
I'm free all day, and it repeats
It eats into my brain and it feeds
It sinks deep inside my viens
And inks me when I'm asleep
I blink and what i am think-ing
Makes no sense in a heart beat
It's so hard to beat what you need
And what you keep is so hard to reach
Its better to be ripped apart in pieces
Than to leave it out in the open to feed
So broken and apart but still i greed
No smile on my face but i still greet
Every tear with the same surprise
My brain is in a free- fall i cannot
Describe, i don't subscribe to what
I believe, i believe more in lies
They teach more than they preach
And that's enough confusion
To suffice, in so many illusions
You cannot seek that one delusion
And become what you cannot hide
It's true, the dead cannot die
No good-bye's, it's all in our heads
But we don't get, we are designed to
Forget but maybe just not yet, no, not today, I keep telling myself all night
From so far away, there are so many ways,
She could have stayed, he could have stayed, but nobody stays, and nobody stayed, and that's how we were made, so broken and vile.

I breathe beneath the ocean
And i drink my tears out in the open
My head is a night and eyes broken
I say things loud in fear, so rotten
And soon i'll be forgotten.

Wait a moment I'm thinking,
The sadness syncing,
Maybe i'm dead,  I'm never blinking
always in a room closed, in my head
And thinking, and inking, in my bed
Never awake, always sinking.


Bottles by the bed, in my head
with fear shed, and years bled
and my sadness been drinking
All my tears and pain,

Maybe i'm insane, tell me, what's my name ? What's my name ?  Tell me, what's my name ? I'll ask again, what's my name ? Please whisper!

There's nobody else in my brain, It's so filthy and i cannot even look at the man in the mirror.
He makes feel so ugly.




And he keeps me, never leaves me
It loves me and feeds me
When I'm down it needs me
Never around when it eats me
Laid on the ground in the end,
Six feet too deep, or maybe burning
It's better to be afraid than never be
Found, better to hate, than be bitter
It's better to wither than drown.

So wear your crown of shit,
And wear your gown of thorns
That never fits, let it sync
You were born in a shitty place and an old town.

So wear that face, and glow
For nobody can know, it's been sinking and it's been syncing, and you've been dreaming, and it's so loud.


Wait a moment I'm thinking,
The sadness syncing,
Maybe i'm dead,  I'm never blinking
always in a room closed, in my head
And thinking, and inking, in my bed
Never awake, always sinking.

Bottles by the bed, in my head
with fear shed, and years bled
and my sadness been drinking
All my tears and pain,

Maybe i'm insane, tell me, what's my name ? What's my name ?  Tell me, what's my name ? I'll ask again, what's my name ? Please whisper!

There's nobody else in my brain, It's so filthy and i cannot even look at the man in the mirror.
He makes feel so ugly.

you are my universe
if my universe is an animal
and that animal is tearing a smaller creature apart with its teeth.

you are my world
if my world is just this room
and the door is constantly locked from the outside.

i cannot tell if this is asbestos or stardust -
- either way, i can't get it out of my eyes.

Flightless owl 
Who knows the dark corners 
Of night sky like the back of his hand 
His protruding eyes no longer shine 
To keep this darkness aglow 
Ah Sky, this mourning widow
The evil surges through her blood
‎And removes each star like a brushstroke 
Only to leave scars all around her body 
This life is poor, bloody! 
A burning hell with no flames, no light 
To keep this mess together tight! 
Darkness speaks, and the owl sees. 
tragedy occurs out of hand 
And out of place 
With no good hands to keep it safe
With no trace to track 
This world runs amock 
Oh‎ this pain never ends. 
And sky cries ever louder..
Tina RSH ©

For days and days on end
We cascade down this powder blue spiral of diamond tears
Rhinestones of fake gold plaster our world
Painted nails a polished white like pearls
A brazen kiss at the pool, faded pink
Padded cells like dream houses in our fantasies
Crop tops over high waist skirts
Engaged in a minute, divorced in a second
Clouds of tears like woven blankets of knitted cotton
Made out of plastic and sadness
With roses and yellow flowers on the back seats of our Cadillacs
We live at gas stations hidden behind run down motel walls
Our telephones still have cables
And we never really talk on them
Silky thoughts create our days
Dreams of quilted housecoats
Nylons, cigarettes, needles
Beach girl robes and pick up trucks
Marvelous ecstatic dances, shiny decadence
I want to go skiing at Christmas
And have a back porch party down in Rio
When we make the pact with the Devil
And the demons descend while the stars ascend
I know we will survive in this pastel land