I wrote student fees and it autocorrected to

My friend was drunk and said CV
when they meant VC

Volunteering is sold to us like a product,
it's not that it's good in of itself,
it's good for your self,
it'll look good on your CV

it'll look good on your CV
it'll look good on your CV
it'll look good on your CV

if only you could see me
if only you could see me
if only you could see me

you'd see the way my face freezes or flinches
either one,
there is a pain that runs across my face like an electric shock

dehumanising someone is like they invented a wireless, handsfree, bluetooth way of stabbing someone,
you can do it without touching me,
but I can assure the pain in my chest will tell you otherwise,
you have cut me

please help me find the plug at the wall
help me restart
help me find the USB charger
help me connect

you've convinced me that if I claw at my arm long enough
wires will spark and spit at me
I am a machine because you treat me as one

like when they ask for my number at Student Health
or they ask for my number at Studylink
or they ask for number at the Bank
I remember I am nothing like everyone else.

Does logging off look bad on your CV?

CV is curriculum vitae, VC is vice chancellor (aka the person in charge of the university)
Brent Kincaid Sep 16

You emoji’d me a happy face
I emoji’d you back a heart.
You sent me an okay thing.
When did all this start?

You shot me back an icon
That looked rather like a hand
But my phone’s screen is small
So I couldn’t quite understand.
I wan’t moving fast enough
To send an answer right back.
You sent another emoji and that
Was when I completely lost track.

I got from you a little thing
Like a jack’o’lantern face
So I sent a laughing icon
That must have been a disgrace.
You zapped back three letters
Which I quickly recognized.
W, T and F, in caps appeared
Like a specter before my eyes.

You emoji’d me a happy face
I emoji’d you back a heart.
You sent me an okay thing.
When did all this start?

I typed in a question mark
And quickly hit the ‘send’
Still hoping against hope
This madness could end
And we could begin to speak
As human beings can do
If they use the keyboard letters
And at least a finger or two.

I never heard from you again
I must have done something bad.
Not even a red face emoji
Or the one that means you’re sad.
I try to stay on top of things
As new fashions will unfold
But this kind of funny picture show
Quickly has gotten old.

You emoji’d me a happy face
I emoji’d you back a heart.
You sent me an okay thing.
When did all this start?

Oiciruam Sep 11

Laboring for me
The computer's whirring fan
A murmuring brook

Vexren4000 Jul 21

Take a bite,
Of the world of bytes,
Mega and Meta,
Zeta and Terra,
Bits and bytes,
Now rule the day,
And everyday,
From now on.


                              Some say the scientific method
                              Is the ultimate algorithm and others
                              Prefer prayer.

For symbolists, all intelligence can be reduced to manipulating symbols, in the same way that a mathematician solves equations by replacing expressions by other expressions. Symbolists understand that you can't learn from scratch: you need some initial knowledge to go with the data. They've figured out how to incorporate pre-existing knowledge into learning, and how to combine different pieces of knowledge on the fly in order to solve new problems. Their master algorithm is inverse deduction, which figures out what knowledge is missing in order to make a deduction go through, and then makes it as general as possible.

                    ­          In its simplicity
                              Can sustain concentration

For connectionists, learning is what the brain does, and so what we need to do is reverse engineer it. The brain learns by adjusting the strengths of connections between neurons, and the crucial problem is figuring out which connections are to blame for which errors and changing them accordingly. The connectionists' master algorithm is back propagation, which compares a system's outputs with the desired one and then successively changes the connections in layer after layer of neurons so as to bring the output closer to what it should be.

                              Hungry and cold
                              A holy condition
                              A warrior's position in the world
Evolutionaries believe that the mother of all learning is natural selection. If it made us, it can make anything, and all we need to do is simulate it on the computer. The key problem that evolutionaries solve is learning structure: not just adjusting parameters, like back propagation does, but creating the brain that these adjustments can then fine-tune. The evolutionaries' master algorithm is genetic programming, which mates and evolves computer programs in the same way that nature mates and evolves organisms.

            ­                  A good shit's the metric
                              Of a dying man

Bayesians are concerned above all with uncertainty. All learned knowledge is uncertain, and learning itself is a form of uncertain inference. The problem then becomes how to deal with noisy, incomplete, and even contradictory information without falling apart. The solution is probabilistic inference, and the master algorithm is Bayes' theorem and its derivatives. Bayes' theorem tell us how to incorporate new evidence into our beliefs, and probabilistic inference algorithms do that as efficiently as possible.

                              I can't believe
                              I won't live forever, therefore,
                              I invented an afterlife to go with reincarnation

For analogizers, the key to learning is recognizing similarities between situations and thereby inferring other similarities. If two patients have similar symptoms, perhaps they have the same disease. The key problem is judging how similar two things are. The analogizers' master algorithm is the support vector machine, which figures out which experiences to remember and how to combine them to make new predictions.

                              Prepare for a powerful anesthesia
                              Chemical processes irresistible
                              A good and perfect rest


--Domingos, Pedro, The Master Algorithm: How the Quest for the Ultimate Learning Machine Will Remake Our World, Basic Books, 2015.
Justin Lai Apr 14

They built me, standard-grade,
But with one crucial chip missing.
While other models are made
Programmed for social networking.

Laughter and jibes, except
This variant groping in the dark.
Much signs to intercept,
Machine simmers, overheats, sparks.

Every version upgrade,
Alas, still just one step behind.
Patience in every trade;
Stranger, if you could be so kind...

I've ran out of computer metaphors xD
Oskar Erikson Mar 14

disconnect me- rip out these wires needlessly transmitting data points of zero's and one's, linking up in a systematic corruption of who i am and who i want, mechanical neurons lighting fires in my heart and brain, pulsing until they burn out into ashes and dust just another singed electronic unfeeling part of me that will only result in catastrophic system failure.
and i can't switch off.
its the only warmth i know will stay.
its the only warmth i ever get around me.

Nateive Son Feb 26

The end of my job interview,
For a legal marijuana grow house,
Ends with the standard,
"Please tell us about yourself, Jojo"
And I take a sip,
From my Days Inn coffeewater,
Savoring the moments,
Before the dam breaks.

"I guess I'll start with the basics,
I'm a technologically advanced psycho luddite,
Shot into the future,
But something keeps tethering me to the past,
Whatever that even is,
And every time I'm next to a river or granite chunk,
I feel this peace that things are even somewhat permanent,
Unlike the 24/7 news cycle,
Which grinds my food into shit,
The stress that powers the universe I suppose.

And I can remember back in J-school,
Being really excited about living in the hole,
And calling up the cops for grisly details,
But then the next day,
Something else would happen,
And it was like yesterday,
Totally erased.

I just didn't get it.

And so I rejected the socialization of modernity,
In favor of roaming this Brave New World,
With nothing but my own mind,
People are always trying to take that away from you,
And now I'm here,
Because I enjoy talking to plants,
More than people."

The hippy chick,
With some great pit hair,
Looks up from her laptop,
And gives me a small grin.

Good news,


This poem will be revised and expanded at a later date

Too much caffeine, not enough daffodils: http://static5.businessinsider.com/image/50f0c59e6bb3f7b23800000b-1173-879/nuclear-weapon-bomb-castle-romeo-1.jpg
Alison Latres Feb 23

Once again, as night rolls in,
My eyelids do not fall.
Wide awake, despite how late,
I do not mind at all.

2:30 AM Reads an alarm clock,
Sitting on my nightstand.
Or the dim screen of my laptop;
In which its keyboard is at my hands.

The heavy sound comes right down,
But deaf ears it fell upon.
The sound of a rooster's crow, the sunlight shows,
Marking the start of dawn.

I'd tire now, what's the time?
It's clearly past my assumptions.
A glance reveals it's four fifty-nine,
And the bags under eyes display my malfunction.

Oops, then, I'll sleep again,
And get some rest for once.
Tomorrow, though, tomorrow...!
I'll be awake to see a full sun!

The Trumpoet Feb 21

So they hacked some computers.
"No big deal" you may say,
"Since their influence steered things
toward the right way"

"They just didn't respect us,
that's why the attack.
So I place all the blame
on the Dems and Barack"

"So we'll get nice and cozy,
Vladimir and me,
since there is just so much
upon which we agree"

"We want to be strongmen
who'll shape history
and we're both such examples
of virility"

"And we'll handle the media
through fear and attack
to ensure truth and balance
shall never come back"

"Admiration and power
is what we adore,
it's the one greatest cause
that we truly live for"

So, Mr. Trump...

When you're there in the Oval
and Europe's alarmed
'cause in Prague and in Warsaw.
the Russians, well armed,

have crossed o'er the borders
and come to reclaim
their former domininons,
then who will you blame?

So why this great bromance?
What's your motivation?
Why would you align
with Vlad and his nation?

Could it be business ties?
Or maybe high debt?
Or maybe dark secrets
you wish they'd forget?

I do not want to think
that it could be such things
but the Russians sure look
like they're pulling your strings.

You can also see this and my other Trump poems at: www.trumpoet.com
Link to video of this poem: https://youtu.be/VvZzczQhNEY
Written January 15, 2017
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