I want to walk
with you.

I want our footprints
along the ocean shore.

I want you to
look at me the way I look at you.

Except that just like those footprints,
your love for me has disappeared.

(-DF-04/304/16-)

I’m a planet.

I, like them, feel surrounded.

Surrounded and Isolated.

How is that even possible?

I used to think being alone was hard.

Now I realize that I feel alone in a room full of people,

and that’s even harder.

I worry my planet is missing something.

Missing the will to keep moving.

But I know that I must, for I am a planet that will not burn out.

(-DF-03/04/16-)

Don't wait around for someone to bring you flowers.
Breathe in the air that surrounds you.
Let go of the mystery they've left behind.
Clean up the broken pieces.
Mend your heart into one.

While you lay in bed turning at the thought of them
realize that they were never part of the dream.
Stop waiting for them to call you beautiful.
You already are.
There's no need for thoughtless words.

Buy the seeds, plant your flowers.
Treat them with care.
Water them with love.
And you'll see that they'll grow.

There's no need to wait for them to bring you flowers.
Next time they stop by show them your garden.

(-DF-05/27/16-)

what a gentle beat.
a melody we created.
no one has ever played me like you do.

you may have every dance.

I have a hard time believing in love,
yet I still choose to let the thought creep in the back of my mind.

I believe love makes people act in foolish ways,
they seem to forget that the world keeps spinning.

I don't want unconditional love.

I don't want to be loved in a way that isn't fair.
I don't deserve to get away with my ruthless flaws.

I need someone to tell me when I'm wrong.
I need someone to make me see that there's more than one way.

I don't need pity where it isn't deserved.
I don't want to hurt someone who has let me into their heart.

I need raw and honest love to keep me sane.

(-DF-05/27/16-)

you told me you'd always
be there waiting to catch me for when or if I was ready to fall.

i would look down
and see you with your
outstretched arms and unwavering eyesight set on me.

all this time you've been ready for me,
and so one day i jumped.
i jumped to and for only you.
and as i made my descent i looked down to see you.
and i did. see. you.

but you were running to catch someone else.
someone that was ready before me.

this was the day i had chosen to trust you with my love.
this was the day that you broke me in more ways than one.

you arrived too early and faltered and i arrived too late and shattered.

{d.f. | 11/29/17}

you used to call me every morning,
but you've stopped.
...
now, every morning, i roll over
with your arms wrapped around me
welcoming me home.

{d.f.|08/01/17}

I've discovered
That people can slip from your grasp,
And sometimes all you can do is sit and watch.

All I wanted was to be
Your friend.
The person you'd come to.

You were supposed to be
The one.
The only one.

And yet, here we are.
Distant strangers
That never met.

(-DF-04/25/16-)

the loneliness doesn't bother me quite as much
as being alone w i t h you does.

don't fall in love with me.
for i have a tendency to pen metaphors
of all the ways i'll
inevitably break your h e a r t.

when i tell you that i'm going to love you,
i hope you never wonder or doubt that i will love a l l of y o u.

i will love you the most
when you're falling to pieces,
when you can't stand on your own two feet,
when you h a t e me.

because i'm not signing up to love you only at your best,
but especially at your w o r s t.

In a room full of people
my eyes wander across
their faces in hopes
that I'll see you.

At night when I
crawl into bed
I'm hoping that my dreams will
lead me to you.

When I read my
favorite novels, their
lines remind me
of you.

And although I haven't
seen you in quite awhile,

And I'm sure you may not
remember me...

I still look for you.

(-DF-09/21/16-)

you must think i'm stupid, huh?
i saw you for what you were,
yet still i went for the ****.
but the joke was on me.
you were the gasoline and i was
the match.
the flames you emitted engulfed me.
i never had the chance of coming out alive,
and you knew that.
you devoured me whole.
i ignited you, but you burnt me.
if only you hadn't smoldered me with your deadly charm.

{d.f. - 09/02/17}

If I went back in time
and asked my younger self how I'd be in the future.
I'm sure I would have said many things,
but not in a rare state in between happiness and sadness.

How is it possible that I feel this way?
It's hard pretending like my inner world isn't dying.
The worst part is, some days when the sadness outweighs everything else,
I don't even know why.

Have I caused this on myself?
Other days I'm glad I'm like this,
How would I know happiness if I didn't know sadness?
All I know for sure is that I shouldn't give in to the desires of giving up.

So for now I'll just be in between.
(-DF-04/07/16-)

You're like a smoke detector.
A smoke detector without batteries.

You're supposed to warn me, protect me, save me...
You're supposed to be there before the flames engulf me.

But a smoke detector without batteries is only there for show.
Because by the end of the blaze...

I'm already a pile of rubble.

{df - 03/16/17-}

I want to
lay next to you.

I want to
feel our hearts
beat as one.

I want to
feel your chest
rise and fall
as you breathe
me in.

I want to
feel safe
in your arms.

But I can't...
It's what I want,
not what you need.

(-DF-08/03/16-)

In my dreams I see you driven by passion.
The passion I wish I could have.
You motivate me to become something more.
I'm awoken in a way I've never been before.
Everyone else is a blur, since you are my focus.
When I'm falling you catch me.

And yet, we haven't crossed paths.

(-DF-03/30/16-)

i'm still trying to remember who i was before i
stopped smiling at myself in mirrors,
stopped making silly faces at kids when their parents weren't looking,
stopped looking up at the stars.

i'm still trying to understand what i've come to be, how i
started yelling at myself,
started isolating my mind,
started living in a world where i only stare at the ground.

everything just was, and then it wasn't.

{d.f. | 03/13/18}

I never knew you could
feel at home with someone.
Safe in someone's embrace.
And then I met you...
You didn't give me flowers,
you planted me a garden.
You didn't just tell me you
loved me, you showed me.
You didn't hurt me,
you saved me.
I was waiting for the
emptiness to engulf me,
but you came along and gave me
a safe haven.

(-DF-03/03/17-)

do you still believe?
that if you close your eyes
you’ll dream once more.
of a world we built
under the glow of stars.

each night as i pull the covers tight around me,
i wonder if you still dream
with me. of me. of us.

i must be insane to still stay up,
waiting for you to crawl back under,
to these once vibrant dreams now turned grey.

but you know what they say about dreams,
‘don’t give up on them.’
and that is the reason why after all this time,
still i keep sticking glow in the dark stars up on my ceiling.
may they light the way back to dreamland.

{d.f. | 04/04/18}

I don't see you anymore,
but I feel you in all the places I go.

I don't hear you anymore,
and I'm forgetting the sound of your voice.

And I miss you, yet I wonder how that can be, because we have yet to truly meet.

(-DF-12/18/16-)

No one understands the pain that surges through my body.
I am engulfed in flames.
And yet they laugh at me as though it's just a quirk.
As if I want to be this way.

I'm drowning and yet they tell me to swim.
Every breath is a cry of despair.
And yet they stand there breathing without a care.
As if I'm playing a game.

I thought they loved me.
These were the people I had chosen to let in.
And yet they threw away the key.
As if it didn't cost me anything.

(-DF-03/27/16-)

You made the stars shine every night.
The world revolved around you.

The birds chirped for your existence.
The flowers bloomed in your presence.

You ignited a fire with just one look.
The clocks stopped, because with you, time couldn't be measured.

Except you weren't the person I imagined.
You were just an actor performing for the crowd.

You see...

I used to think you were extraordinary,
but you're simply extra ordinary.

(-DF-04/13/16-)

You were
the last
person I thought
would leave...

But you've closed
the door behind
you.

And I'm left holding the key.

(-DF-07/31/16-)

The spirit of this world is selfish.
They tell you that you're all that matters.
Only you can help yourself.
Stop for no one.
Survival of the fittest.
But haven't you stopped to think how messed up that is?
Why must we leave others behind on our endeavors?
As if we didn't have help reaching the finish line.
How stupid to rely solely on your own experience.
Haven't they told you we learn from others?
Who gave you the right to call yourself righteous?
Open your eyes and see that this world wants to destroy you thinking that 'me, myself, and I' is the only way to live.

(-DF-04/01/16-)

you planted a garden for me.
and i loved every single petal that bloomed.
including the thorns.
but i've noticed some flowers are
missing. taken. cut.

i guess i was just your plot of land, feeding on the lies you gave me.
by all means, go, the market awaits you.
sell them the promises you made me.

{d.f. | 03/10/18}

There are hundreds,
Thousands,
And maybe even millions
Of people who are waiting to meet
Someone to spark within them something
Big.

Waiting to find someone to connect with.
We've lived our lives without someone to share the best and worst parts of ourselves.
We are tormented by the unknown.

Yet all we want is someone to call
our own.

(-DF-06/14/16-)

Among all the beautiful stars and constellations,

I found you.

Among them you were the brightest,

The only one.

Among the whole universe,

I chose you.

(-DF-03/11/16-)

You brought me
the galaxies
in the palms of your hands.

You lit a fire in
my heart so intense
that it burned hearing
you say we were a match.

And the words
you spoke to me,
were a melody
that my soul
danced to.

You were like no other
love I've ever known.

(-DF-11/24/16-)

i never knew it could be like this.
being in love simply felt like a far away dream.
just a number on my bucket list.
a splendid thing i'd never know of.

so, to be with you, is to be real.
because, with you, i've learned that this is real.
love is real.
loving myself is real.

love never felt so good.

{d.f.|02/10/18}

There was a moment in time
when I couldn't imagine my life
without you...

You were the air
that I breathed.

You meant so much
to me.

I would've never imagined
that your love wasn't real...

And as much as I miss the
memory of what we used to be,

without you, I finally feel free.

(-DF-06/20/16-)

the world may be your oyster,
...
but keep in mind that some of us are allergic to shellfish.

{d.f. | 12/07/17}

love of mine, forgive me.
i wanted you all for myself,
and i kept you when you weren’t mine to keep.

here we are.
i look at you with hope, while you’ve stopped looking at me.
so just take me whole.
drown me.
rid yourself of me.

be free. be happy. be yours.

you were never mine to begin with,
i was simply a foolish soul trying to conquer the ocean.

d.f.

When did everyone grow up?
These people act like they know the secrets of the universe,
but my question is...
When did I stop knowing?

Every morning
I pretend that I'm awake,
That everything is okay.

The truth is, I no longer feel alive.

And so I thought everyone felt this way...
But they don't.
They look forward to talking to their friends.
To going on vacation.
To living their everyday.

And I?
I look forward to closing my eyes.
To hoping that today will be different.
That maybe when I wake up in the morning I'll actually be awake.

When will this unnerving sadness end?
When will I feel alive?
When?

(-DF-08/24/16-)

sometimes i wonder
what you felt as i walked out
the door.

were you hoping i'd come back?
did you doubt our love?
or did it ever cross your mind to run after me?

i won't pretend to have no fault,
i was scared that we were too young to make this love last.

so by the time i had made up my mind,
i guess you had too,
my key no longer opened your door.

{d.f. | 01/23/18}

I wrote you a letter.
I told you how much I cared.
How much you meant to me.
I told you I would never let go.

I wrote about my favorite memories of us.
About the way your hair falls so effortlessly to your face.
I mentioned that you made me feel happy.
That you made me feel alive.

I wrote about the ways you had changed my life.
The way we spoke to each other without pause.
How time stopped when we were together.
How the world stopped spinning for moments on end.

Except you never opened my letter...
You burned it like you burned my heart.

(-DF-06/03/16-)