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photovoltaic Dec 2020
i should have told you
the most important was probably-

i had a gun,
and knew how to shoot it
"I never got to tell you I loved you, too"
Cas Oct 2020
In the space of two hours i wrote

                        a suicide note,

                                         and a love letter.







I posted them the
                                                    love letter.
now once again, i have a small box containing a new suicide note hidden on a shelf in my room
kaehaniya Sep 2020
wishing for calm
trying to keep it peaceful
i don't feel good, so don't start
it's a lot of bad things
don't start, i won't struggle
won't tell them ****
won't tell them
i wanna die
don't miss me, don't wish for me
make sure you outlive me
hope it goes down as g.o.d.
there'd be no me
it was god's plan
hope it was god's plan
found poem
9/10/2020
kaehaniya Jul 2020
bye,
i love you,
see you on the other side
i'm done trying to hide
what you didn't see, and i denied
i guess at least i can say i tried
to make sure that when i died
you'd be one of them that cried.

bye,
i love you,
see you on the other side
i was too afraid to confide
when i decided i should just die
i guess i always had too much pride
i hope now you're satisfied
now i've committed suicide.

bye,
i still love you,
see you on the other side.
this is supposed to be a suicide note but it's not autobiographical. i'm not committing suicide y'all
Cas Sep 2019
For five years I kept a suicide note in a glittery pink heart-shaped box in the bottom of my closet
Until one day I was strong enough to tear it up and throw it away

This summer I saved a suicide note to my desktop
And I don't know when I'll be strong enough to press delete
izzy Jun 2019
Who am I ?
In a world full of people
Who am I ?
I'm running round in circles
I
Don't understand
Why
I still can't stand
Up by myself
I'm trying
To find who I am
I'm crying
I don't know who I am
I won't ask for help
Because if you knew how I felt
You'd always run away
I won't ask for help
Because I don't know what I would say
But I swear I'm trying
Though every night I go to sleep crying
I feel like my heart is slowly dying
But I swear
I'm trying
I really hope one day
It will all be okay
But I'm not really sure about much
I know I've said it before
I can't do this anymore
When everything dies at my touch
And everyday I wake up
I layer on the make-up
I'll brush my hair
And say I don't care
When deep inside it's killing me
So hard when my mind is willing me
To give up and let go
You'll never go with the flow
Just give up and write that letter
You'll feel so much better
So I'm writing that letter
I still don't feel much better
I still don't know
Who am I ?
In a world full of people
Who am I ?
I'm running round in circles
My cuts are getting deeper
And I think I'm seeing flickers
I would really just like to know who I am
Who am I ? I'm not really sure what this is but here you go.
Outsider May 2019
Pain used to inspire me to write.
Words would flow easily through my fingers,
substituting my tears.
I used to draw my pain. I painted my canvas with feelings,
and emotions, that words could not express.
If things started to feel hopeless, music was my saviour.
I would write lyrics, amplifying the words with sad tunes,
spilling my deepest, darkest thoughts.
But now, the pain is so strong, it is all I can think of.
My thighs are covered in scars,
from when the pain got so bad, that I needed to bleed it out.
Now, I realize, that I have drained myself.
There´s no tears, no words, no paint, no blood
left,
to spill.
I hope that whoever can relate to this, keeps on going. Don´t give up, even if it feels hopeless. There´s always a way out. Suicide does not have to be one of them.
-df Mar 2019
call me selfish
i'll be too dead to care.

i burned for everyone i could,
i tried to be the
l i g h t
of their life.
eventually i started to
f l i c k e r,
my wick disintegrated
and i burnt out.

my
f a i t h
saved me time and time again.
my
g o d
is perfect and kind and loving and forgiving.
my god knows i tried, i
f o u g h t.

but somehow after everything, my brain has gone.
where did it go?
i wish i knew.
so now i must go find it.

now i must
g o.
written by d.f.
trying to beat the sadness/nothingness of my brain.
...
suicide prevention hotline:
1-800-273-8255
Shanna Thomas Mar 2019
You don't notice the new scars on my arm... They've been there for a while now... I made some new ones today... I just feel so alone in this world... Like no one really cares... I just think my mental illness is getting the better of me... And honestly I'm not going to fight it any more... So one day you'll probably come home and see me lying on the floor, cold, lifeless... But know that I'm at peace...I'm happier now... I cant make you happy anymore... And that's totally okay. I'm content with that... But the fact that you're still staying with me... It puzzles me... Why stay with a suicidal maniac... A crazy
person... I need to be in a mental hospital... Locked away... In a straight jacket... Where I cant cause anymore harm... To you or to myself... But you don't notice the scars, you ignore the signs... I cry... A lot... You don't notice the fake smile... That I'm wearing this mask... I'm taking it off tonight... Maybe you'll realize before its too late... Then again you probably wont... Its not your fault... I'm just really good at acting... You don't realize
the pain... The constant struggle i have with myself... To be... Perfect... You don't realize the hurt.. When my tears hit the pillow and you're not there... But its okay. I forgive you... Just hope you can forgive me... One day... You don't realize the sadness... But you'll realize it... That day... That day that I'm gone...
I just want to say that I wrote this when I was going through a very dark time in my life. I'm just happy that I was able to get through and be here today!
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