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In the space of two hours i wrote

                        a suicide note,

                                         and a love letter.







I posted them the
                                                    love letter.
now once again, i have a small box containing a new suicide note hidden on a shelf in my room
kaehaniya Sep 11
wishing for calm
trying to keep it peaceful
i don't feel good, so don't start
it's a lot of bad things
don't start, i won't struggle
won't tell them ****
won't tell them
i wanna die
don't miss me, don't wish for me
make sure you outlive me
hope it goes down as g.o.d.
there'd be no me
it was god's plan
hope it was god's plan
found poem
9/10/2020
kaehaniya Jul 17
bye,
i love you,
see you on the other side
i'm done trying to hide
what you didn't see, and i denied
i guess at least i can say i tried
to make sure that when i died
you'd be one of them that cried.

bye,
i love you,
see you on the other side
i was too afraid to confide
when i decided i should just die
i guess i always had too much pride
i hope now you're satisfied
now i've committed suicide.

bye,
i still love you,
see you on the other side.
this is supposed to be a suicide note but it's not autobiographical. i'm not committing suicide y'all
Cassandra Sep 2019
For five years I kept a suicide note in a glittery pink heart-shaped box in the bottom of my closet
Until one day I was strong enough to tear it up and throw it away

This summer I saved a suicide note to my desktop
And I don't know when I'll be strong enough to press delete
Isaak Thompson Jun 2019
Who am I ?
In a world full of people
Who am I ?
I'm running round in circles
I
Don't understand
Why
I still can't stand
Up by myself
I'm trying
To find who I am
I'm crying
I don't know who I am
I won't ask for help
Because if you knew how I felt
You'd always run away
I won't ask for help
Because I don't know what I would say
But I swear I'm trying
Though every night I go to sleep crying
I feel like my heart is slowly dying
But I swear
I'm trying
I really hope one day
It will all be okay
But I'm not really sure about much
I know I've said it before
I can't do this anymore
When everything dies at my touch
And everyday I wake up
I layer on the make-up
I'll brush my hair
And say I don't care
When deep inside it's killing me
So hard when my mind is willing me
To give up and let go
You'll never go with the flow
Just give up and write that letter
You'll feel so much better
So I'm writing that letter
I still don't feel much better
I still don't know
Who am I ?
In a world full of people
Who am I ?
I'm running round in circles
My cuts are getting deeper
And I think I'm seeing flickers
I would really just like to know who I am
Who am I ? I'm not really sure what this is but here you go.
Outsider May 2019
Pain used to inspire me to write.
Words would flow easily through my fingers,
substituting my tears.
I used to draw my pain. I painted my canvas with feelings,
and emotions, that words could not express.
If things started to feel hopeless, music was my saviour.
I would write lyrics, amplifying the words with sad tunes,
spilling my deepest, darkest thoughts.
But now, the pain is so strong, it is all I can think of.
My thighs are covered in scars,
from when the pain got so bad, that I needed to bleed it out.
Now, I realize, that I have drained myself.
There´s no tears, no words, no paint, no blood
left,
to spill.
I hope that whoever can relate to this, keeps on going. Don´t give up, even if it feels hopeless. There´s always a way out. Suicide does not have to be one of them.
Verse 1:

You shed a tear
for every hair
that I lost

You held my hand
through every stone
that I crossed

And now you wonder
how you'll live
when I'm gone

But when you feel under
just remember
this song

Chorus:

I'll love you
in every way that
I can

I'm just not sure
what those ways
will be

So look for me
in the kinder words
of strangers

Look for me
in the patterns
In the clouds

I'm not sure
What I'll do
But I'll find
Some ways
To love you

So look
for me

Verse 2:

And when I cross
The other side
Of this viel

I'll drop a crumb
along every step
of my trail

And when I find
the light on the
other side

I'll be right back
to comfort your
troubled mind

Chorus

Bridge:
There'll be
no rest
for me

I'll be back
haunting
your dreams

Things might not
go according
to plans

But I will do
The best that
I can

Chorus

**https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Mrp4gXErJA
This song was originally written as a suicide note in 2015. A lot has changed since then.
-df Mar 2019
call me selfish
i'll be too dead to care.

i burned for everyone i could,
i tried to be the
l i g h t
of their life.
eventually i started to
f l i c k e r,
my wick disintegrated
and i burnt out.

my
f a i t h
saved me time and time again.
my
g o d
is perfect and kind and loving and forgiving.
my god knows i tried, i
f o u g h t.

but somehow after everything, my brain has gone.
where did it go?
i wish i knew.
so now i must go find it.

now i must
g o.
written by d.f.
trying to beat the sadness/nothingness of my brain.
...
suicide prevention hotline:
1-800-273-8255
Shanna Thomas Mar 2019
You don't notice the new scars on my arm... They've been there for a while now... I made some new ones today... I just feel so alone in this world... Like no one really cares... I just think my mental illness is getting the better of me... And honestly I'm not going to fight it any more... So one day you'll probably come home and see me lying on the floor, cold, lifeless... But know that I'm at peace...I'm happier now... I cant make you happy anymore... And that's totally okay. I'm content with that... But the fact that you're still staying with me... It puzzles me... Why stay with a suicidal maniac... A crazy
person... I need to be in a mental hospital... Locked away... In a straight jacket... Where I cant cause anymore harm... To you or to myself... But you don't notice the scars, you ignore the signs... I cry... A lot... You don't notice the fake smile... That I'm wearing this mask... I'm taking it off tonight... Maybe you'll realize before its too late... Then again you probably wont... Its not your fault... I'm just really good at acting... You don't realize
the pain... The constant struggle i have with myself... To be... Perfect... You don't realize the hurt.. When my tears hit the pillow and you're not there... But its okay. I forgive you... Just hope you can forgive me... One day... You don't realize the sadness... But you'll realize it... That day... That day that I'm gone...
I just want to say that I wrote this when I was going through a very dark time in my life. I'm just happy that I was able to get through and be here today!
Lost Soul Mar 2019
I....I can't breathe
It all started when my feet hit the floor
I walked out of my room and heard whispers
You no longer look at me anymore
With every step I took
I wanted to cry out
My legs just shook
I went back to my room
I can't decide whats better
a coffin or this tomb

I feel nothing... absolutely nothing

I cried it all out the night before
So I sit at my computer and write a little note
This time my words won't be ignored
As I write my heart beats faster
DOES ANYONE CARE!! DOES NO ONE NOTICE?!?
Look.... I want to apologize to our pastor
You'll  stand up on stage
to say some half *** message
While my mother cries
as you read the rehearsed words on your page

How many people showed up?
Or did people stay home
because I was a **** up ?
Did he come?.. see he was my last straw
Did he look at my casket and wished he would've  texted me back
when I reached out vulnerable and raw
Did he cry?
I hope he did
cause he gave up on me
so i figured, why even try
I'm sorry to my sister
The pain got worse..I stopped talking
every word was a tongue twister
I prayed for the end...and it came
My cries echoed off the walls
To say my death was an accident
would be just to avoid the blame

Yes I believe God was with me that night
The demons left when he came down to hold me
His tears washed away the hurt
As my lungs finally gave up the good fight
He spared my soul ...well what little was left
I'm in the clouds now
Wishing my life wasn't a victim of theft
This is a poem that I wrote based on an actual suicide note I wrote on 10/25/18. Thankfully I'm in a better place now but i still felt the need to share this.
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