Alexia Noel Mar 8

I've become so convincing in the role of myself,
I'm starting to believe it's actually me.

VD Lee Feb 20

This city shines with gold
The streets are crowded and old.
Everywhere you turn
A star has once stood.
Livin' near Tinsletown
Are people whose lucks are down
And they spurn
The names on Hollywood.

Envy bites at them deeply
As they live very cheaply
All alone,
Dreaming meekly.
Once awhile they go to a studio
Where they hope to be on a show
And the phone
Will let them know.

But most times
Disappointment rears its ugly head.
And the hopeful people
Hear this sound instead:

You're turned away.
Turn away
Turn away
Turn away
Turn away
Turn away

You're turned away.
Turn away
Turn away
Turn away
Turn away
Turn away

Getting your name out there
Is harder than it appears
When others are
Doing it too.
And for people born with privledge
Fame is easily given.
Others are barred
From "dreams come true".

Crossing fingers give hope,
And praying can help you cope,
But actual success will
Never come that way.
Make sure you look thin and pretty
Or willing to act mean and petty
'Cause sometimes skill
Doesn't count at the end of the day.

Even with those requirements
Someone has them more.
They're better, smarter, prettier
While you're shown out the door.

You're turned away.
Turn away
Turn away
Turn away
Turn away
Turn away

You're turned away.
Turn away
Turn away
Turn away
Turn away
Turn away

Mama, it's your kid
I want to come back home.
LA's days are scorching,
Its nights' cold to the bone.
I'm lost in my direction
And have nowhere to go.
I fit no one's satisfaction
And I've hit lowest low.
So come save me from my depression.
Who knew such hardship would come from an entitled profession?

You're turned away.
Turn away
Turn away
Turn away
Turn away
Turn away

You're turned away.
Turn away
Turn away
Turn away
Turn away
Turn away

Anonymous4070 Feb 2

I'm an actor.
I can smile.
I can laugh,
cry for a while.

I'm an actor.
I can care.
I can worry.
I can beware.

I'm an actor.
I can talk.
I can breath.
I can walk.

I'm an actor.
I leave the stage.
I keep on acting.
I engage.

Randy Johnson Dec 2016

Robert Vaughn's demise is something that billions of people deplore.
If he had lived just eleven days longer, he would've turned eighty-four.
Vaughn had the ability to make movies and TV shows enjoyable.
When we lost this great man, it was like losing a precious jewel.
When we watched him on the small and the big screen, it was always sure to please.
During his later years, he continued to act and he did commercials for attorneys.
If you visit Hollywood, you can see Vaughn's star on the Walk of Fame.
Because of his death, television and movies will never again be the same.

Dedicated to Robert Vaughn (1932-2016) who died on November 11, 2016.
Randy Johnson Dec 2016

Robert Vaughn was married for forty-two years and had two children.
He starred in many movies and TV shows and he stood five feet ten.
He was the proud father of a daughter and a son.
When he died, he was surrounded by loved ones.
He died of Leukemia which is the same kind of cancer that took my dad.
Vaughn was loved by many people and his death has made everybody feel sad.
He was asked to run against Ronald Reagan for Governor but he declined.
Vaughn was an extraordinary actor and he was also a credit to Mankind.

Dedicated to Robert Vaughn (1932-2016) who died on November 11, 2016.
Randy Johnson Nov 2016

He was an exceptional actor but now he's gone.
The man who I'm speaking of was Robert Vaughn.
Vaughn starred in The Man From U.N.C.L.E. and twice on Columbo.
He starred in Escape From Witch Mountain and The Towering Inferno.
He guest starred in Hotel, The Magnificent Seven and The Love Boat.
He made a few appearances on The A-Team and Murder, She Wrote.
Millions of people are sad because Vaughn is dead.
It is terrible to lose an actor who was so talented.
I became his fan over thirty years ago when I watched Superman III.
He was a legend and when I learned about his death, I was not pleased.

Dedicated to Robert Vaughn (1932-2016) who died on November 11, 2016.
Elizabeth Squires Sep 2016

a consummate character actor
came to the footlight stage
his performances critically acclaimed
in entertainment's grand page

Burton nor Sir John Gielgud
had not a patch on his prowess
in all facets of the craft
this star did certainly impress

at The Crown Theatre he played
a bearded vagabond
who wandered the Yorkshire Dales
and further beyond

he received many an accolade
for a gripping role in "Where Is The Maid"  
the plot centred around
an English castle's moated ground

scripts by the score keep
flooding in each week
as directors love working
with the sensational Edward Deek

dex Aug 2016

[read the parts that look like gibberish backwards]

July 24, 2016

When the sun rises in the West,
           that is the day I will forget
           the day that I will reinvent
           the day that I will cease to exist.
There are times I fight fire with fire,
           and when it is ice, I am more actor
           and when it is water, I am more faux
           and when I forget, I am more myself.
More often than I care to admit,
                            I am quiet because I cannot
  ­                                                breathe
         ­                                                  dream
                            I am quiet because I do not know
                                    what else
                                           to be.
I never meant to be your ghost.
I never meant to be your grief.
I never meant to be what I am, but I
do not     have               a   say.
I am change,       am adaptation
  am fear,             am recognition
I don't know how to tell you what I am,
I don't know what I am myself.

    of course I remember
    of course I
    of course

Don't let me leave, or I will go.
This thing that I will always know,
will take me away before you can say, no.
Don't let me go, or I will leave.
This tendency is to deceive,
is to protect all those who grieve.
My love, I cannot breathe.
My love, I cannot breathe.
My love, I cannot breathe.

I left behind that second soul.
I left behind all that I know.
I left behind, and so I grow.
luos dnoces ym dniheb tfel i.

I do not know who, but I can guess as to what-
-I am.

I say to run if you know how,
  say, I'd run, if I knew how
  say, I'd run, but where would I go?
I would run to you, and what good would that do?
I would run to you, I would beg you to run, too,
                                 I would teach you
                                 I would show you
I would do my best to unknow you
             for I am dangerous,
                   I am.
I'd unknot you and set you free,
I'd show you all I'll never be
I'd show you how to leave me.
I'd show you how.
I'd show you.
I hear the stars sing,
they mimic
those words, those words:
“To protect you”
In a voice that haunts my sleep,
Like a face that travels my dreams.
A warning I cannot scream.
A life that is all I see.
A you that is more me than me.

Oh, how I wish I could tell you.
uoy evol i,
eid lliw eno, erif hguone toh ot dna
em si ti yarp i
em si ti yarp i
em ekat esaelp, erif, ho
evael ton lliw eno siht fi.
erif, ho.
htob su llik tonnac i
ton lliw
erif ot eid tsum eno fi tub
em si ti yarp i
em si ti yarp i
em si ti yarp i.

deb nwo ym ni peels tonnac i kniht uoy od yhw?
thgir ehtaerb tonnac i, evol ym
ereht ma i nehw ton.
maerd i nehw ton
kaeps ot yrt i nehw ton
diarfa os ma i, evol ym.
elims i, ecnelis ot deirram
diarfa os ma i dna.
eil a i ma? rotca na ma i.
diarfa os ma i.
diarfa os ma I dna, hturt si tahw ton wonk i.

July 25, 2016

I was an earthquake before you found me.
I was the antithesis of calm,
                                 of rational
                                 of right
                                 of sincerity
I was a wrong, I was a lie
                         (eil a i ma?)
I was,     I was
I   cannot   be
          not now or in a hundred years.
I am changed.
Will be changed.
Am. I am changed.    i   a m   c h a n g e d

The name of a rain gauge living in the desert
  her name is hope
                   is why
                   is let go
                   is forget
  her name is never again.
She is dry, dry, dry.
She catches tears, she does not make them.
She does not cry.
But she dies to hot enough fire,
          (eid lliw eno, erif hguone toh ot)
       she is the one it will be
       (em si ti yarp i)
       (em si ti yarp i)

Time, the illusion, he is a key player
            he scrambles words like eggs
       (sgge delbmarcs sih dah uoy evah?)
            he steps by when no one is looking
       (spets eh yaw eht nees uoy evah?)
Time, the illusion.

Sister, the allusion, she is question and is queen
             her intentions crystal clear
             her approach direct and true.
Sister, the allusion, foreboding
sister. the allusion.

July 26, 2016

did you know that she cries in her sleep?
          her parents always just say she's not a talker
          because they can't stand to tell people
          that she is actually a crier
          and she doesn't blame them.
did you know that he loves music?
              only because he can't have it, you see
              only because no one else tasted that night
              only because he can never go back.

The November sunshine is a lovely thing.
   (emoh nrehtron reh)
In those days before Death showed its teeth,
     those days were so very warm,
                                  so very kind.
when the lighting was good
I swear, we could see for miles.
we had so many plans for the years to come.
             so many ideas
             so many hopes
they still visit occasionally, you know
they come through the back door
they think it is still their house
they think they are still welcome here
they never noticed that everyone else was gone
they never smelled the death on my hands
they never saw the blood on my shoes
they never saw the blade on the bathroom counter
they never slipped in the tear stains on my cheeks
they never realized the fridge stayed full
                                       while I stayed empty
they never saw the plea in my eyes
they never trusted the cross hanging on my neck
                                                   but i did
Or at least I thought                        i did.

those old smiles
                              they will not leave me be.

Do you know what a living lie looks like?
I know that you do. I do, too.
She can be beautiful, can't she?
reh ta kool neve uoy nac woh?
reh evol ot dnats uoy nac woh?

i    a m    c h a n g e d
i    a m    c h a n g e d
i    a m    c h a n g e d

derednow i nehw gnorw ton saw i, llew
flesym gnihsawniarb saw i fi.
thgir i saw?

You are rather quite good for me, see:
I forget when I am with you.
I am so focused on you
        worried about you
that I forget to remember,
and I think it is a new sort of lovely,
like a snapdragon planted in a snowdrift,
like the asteroid belt, but sideways.
like Orion, like his precious indifference.
Like a thing I should be sorry for,
         but all I can muster is a thank you.
a snapdragon in the snow.
a snapdragon.

white suits me just fine.

i do not know what is real.

July 31, 2016

did you know
that four days ago,
I slept in a real bed
               for the first time
              in nearly two months?
               four nights I retired
               to a real bed
I am now back to my futon
           or that narrow rock shelf
                         as I believe I once called it.
I haven't slept much the past four nights,
but when I did, I dreamed of you.
                (I always do)
It's been spoiled for me now, sleeping in a bed.
I shouldn't say it, but here
                   ( and only here )    I will:
I never want to sleep in a bed without you again.
It goes even deeper than an
            i don't want to       an
            i never want to

it is also an
   i cannot.
Simply put, I cannot.

I've tried, my love, I truly have, but
                 my eyes will not close
and when they do,
               I see only you
                 my lungs will not breathe
and when they do,
               I swear I breathe you
                 my heartbeats will not slow
and when they do,
                I know I hear you.
I can't fall asleep; not even the restless kind.
Not there, not in that place.

I have not cried myself to sleep in a long time,
but I did that last night.
I prayed until my mind was numb
                       my face, numb, too
(the Hail Mary is my favorite
          and I didn't know who else to call)
but my waterproof heart stood strong
and sent me dreams of you.
the ones of you are always so
yet those brief moments make me feel
as though you've been there all along.

I was so thankful that I got to see you tonight
               that you held me in your arms
                       you rubbed my back
                       you kissed my face
                 (oh, what a joy to be yours)
I didn't mean to keep you late
My love, I hope you know
Anywhere you want me:
This is where I'll go.

My dearest love, I hope that you can sleep.

August 5, 2016

My life, my days, I have a confession to make– a few things to say–

G: I know you see it all, and I hope you can forgive the things I forget to say. I hope you can stomach the thing that I have become. I hope you can stand it when the time comes.
J: I'm sorry she missed your funeral because of me; it's a thing that haunts me in the night
G: I tried to run at the gun, but somewhere along the way I became the gun. I mow them all down just by breathing. Is this what you had in mind when you said I was a gift?
D: I don't blame you for what you do. I'd be trying to drown my misery, too, if I could stand it
J: I know why you didn't go to the hospital for all those weeks, and I'm sorry I didn't get to you sooner. I hope that things are better now. I hope you'll break the pattern.
J: I am so sorry for what I did to you. I can never repair that damage and I will never forgive myself, not even after I'm dead
M: you're the bravest person I know. I'm sorry this is all you've been given
P: you must have been something special, for her to love you like that. Thank you for being what you were for her.
M: I'm sorry for coming to see you the last time. I didn't realize you had forgotten who I was and I didn't mean to upset you so close to the end
G: I wish I knew how to ease this pain for you, how to speed the process of this healing
L: you were right all along, and I still wonder what would have happened if I'd never thrown you away
M: of all the things you said to me when I couldn't sleep, “to protect you” is the phrase that echoes in my mind every time I walk into a dark room. I still flinch at shadows, I still love dragonflies, I still have my guardian, I still remember
E: two planets colliding, you shattered me. I'm sorry I left my mark at all, I'm sorry I burdened you
H: November thirtieth, I was saying goodbye in the loudest way I knew how, the tailgate, your laughter, and the stars. I think you'd been drinking that night. I promised I'd never forget. Still haven't
A: I still whisper “rainbird” and think of you, of that summer, of those dreams. I remember all the time
S: you were so beautiful. We never told you enough. Your laughter still echoes in the hallways of my heart on the warmest summer nights
C: I'm sorry I am where I am, I'm sorry I know what I know, I'm sorry that I can never fall in love with you, that I can never go back
S: I should have never fed the little wolf that growled, “chase her,” should've locked it away to starve in the darkness. I'm so glad I never ruined you, I'm so glad you stayed so far away
H: it will never go away. I'll always miss the precious gemstones you carried in your eyes, the summer night that never was
A: things never should have gone that way. I'm sorry I destroyed something so true and hopeful
T: we would've drowned in each other's misery, we can't even swim in our own oceans, it's better this way, I know that you agree
S: I should've seen the signs, I should've made a change. I hope you're eating again, don't become your mother's daughter
A: even our music couldn't bridge the gap that 1700 miles creates. I don't know how to not miss you, I hope you never miss me
M: I'm so sorry for what I said to you, I'm so sorry I wasted our last moments together, I'm so sorry I let you hurt for so long, I'm so sorry I didn't know, I'm so sorry I pretended I still didn't once I finally did. You were the quietest secret
T: would that I could, you know that I tried
K: you had a chance, you always had a chance
G: you're the only one I cannot fathom
H: I should've been better, simple as that. It'll always be love but it'll always be an afterthought
C: should've never let you get to me, should've never stooped, should've quietly walked away
J: I'm sorry you were caught in the crossfire
M: thank you for always being my older brother, for loving me even when I was so awful to you, when I was so awful to everyone.
M: I'm sorry that I was so mean. I was so sick, still am, always will be, but I'm kinder about it now
E: I didn't know how to do better
S: how did we stray so far? The sickness started early for us; I'm sorry I went along with it
P: I'm sorry I don't defend you better, I'm sorry I didn't turn out to be the person you thought I'd be
K: I always wanted to be like you.
R: you were the best medicine, once upon a time
G: I still smile when I think about you, I hope life is treating you well, I hope you never give away that precious grin of yours, I hope that you're happy

My song, color,
do you believe what I have become?
I cannot bear it when you will not look at me
I'm the lonely kind of miserable that just is
the kind that never goes away
because it has always been there

my favorite sound has always been
the nuclear alarm siren
so maybe that's why, when I heard your voice,
i couldn't stay away
maybe that's why
as I join the wreckage left in your wake
I am content
because I knew the blast was coming
the instant you opened your mouth
to say hello
maybe that's why
I still confuse “hello” with “goodbye.”

Kyle Thomas Dibert Jul 2016

Was it my choice,
As a boy, to be this way;
To wake up every day,
Speak my mind –
Say what I say?
Am I just an actor
In another’s play?
Am I just a character
In someone’s book,
Tucked on a dusty shelf
Where no one may ever look?
Or maybe I’ll be like water,
Crucial to your health;
Or maybe like money,
Crucial to your wealth;
But one way or another,
I’ll be stuck like a paper weight
On the top of an old book shelf.
And maybe there,
After everyone has lost me,
I’ll find myself.

This was one of my first sparks of ‘greatness’, but all in all, it isn’t that great, but I’m grateful for writing it; it paved the way for more sophisticated, deeper material.
Alex's Pipe Dreams Jun 2016

Fancy suits and fancy cars
Rooms full of people, empty places
James Dean, Heath Ledger, Robin Williams
Real money, fake lives, empty faces

As role models or investments
All these people are looked upon
Coffee, drugs, take another shot
I know it hurts, the show must go on

Lights, camera, action
Acting on and off set
Caged birds , flying high
Their only pause was death

Watched the movie 'Life' about James Dean and got inspired. I recommend it, it's a beautiful movie.
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