I dream about you
When I'm completely awake
I see you every time I close my eyes
And every time I open them
You're burned into my retina
Like I've been staring at the sun

i feel as though you should know
that the falling was a beautiful blur
but i guess i was hoping that
you'd catch me in the end

partially inspired by the song "catch me"
Maddy S Jan 10

I said goodbye a long time ago,
But I can never seem to keep you off my mind,
What have you done to me,
How do I still feel this way,
What spell have casted upon me,
To cause me to think of you more,
You made me laugh,
You made me cry,
You stole my heart,
And then you threw it away,
Those memories I still have come back,
They appear out of nowhere within reach,
Why do I still feel this way,
How do I still want you,
I moved on,
But I guess my heart didn't
My sisters miss you talking to them,
I still long to talk to you,
I still wait for this sadness to overcome me,
I wish I could know how to talk to you,
I wish I could know what you think of me know,
But all I know is that you want nothing to do with me,
So, if you're willing,
Maybe another chance;

Ari Jan 4

i like seaweed

typically dried
yummy nori
crispy, crunchy
salty, spicy,
always savory
ironically never
on sushi
yes indeed

i love seaweed

Double tap,
LIKED,
Set on auto mode,
The thumb,
Scrolling down Instagram,

Paused,
FROZE,
Not only the finger,
The whole being,
Stared and linger,

Ahhh,
What is with the welled up tear?
When it's been nearly 3 years,
Asphyxiated,
Seeping through the skin,
All the way to the core of ones 'being',

'Oh dear oh dear',
Never have you ever,
Not exist in the mind,
Nor forgotten,
With the passing of time,

Loser loser,
One who loves more,
Continuously falter,
One who loves more,
Continuously suffer,

Will it even recover?
Or the scar just gets deeper and deeper?

-bukannamakau-

Madilynn Rayman Dec 2017

“I’ll make you remember what pain feels like”
I told you
As you looked at the stars above us.
“Maybe that’s what I need”
You replied,
“A reason to feel again”

Key Giovanni Dec 2017

She needs him

And she wants him, a lot

But needing someone is neither beautiful nor romantic

It’s fucking painful

But she embraces the pain



He knows how to paint a smile on her face

Make her laugh until her stomach hurts



But what he doesn’t know is

Sometimes his words carves the pain in her chest

His silence digs a hole in her heart

And she cries her heart out at night

Whilst blaming herself

For all the mess that happened between them



She tells herself that the next day

The sun will come up

And she will eat her breakfast

And she will drink her coffee



Sadly, things sometimes don’t go as planned



She wakes up the next morning,

Again, tears rolls down her cheeks

She hates herself for being weak

She hates herself for being not good enough

She is tired of doubting whether people are coming or going

Still, she is hoping that he would stay

She would rather be hurt by him than be loved by anyone else



She keeps telling herself that she’s okay

Whilst her heart bleed continuously

She knows that she was doping herself a shit-full of lies

Yet she chooses to drown and bleed without him knowing it



She doesn’t know how to love herself

but she really does love him wholeheartedly and blindly



And even if it hurts, she would do it all again in a heart beat

i want to make
a movie out of your
skin, the way you
move like ivy vines,

a movie-ode
to your ode-begging
face.

if i could,
i'd enter us
into a film festival
we could be a sundance
winner, a student
film phenomenon.

i bet you it would
go something
like this,
enter a blank screen,
fade into a shot of you skin,
pan out to show your face, or
body.

all skin.
all skin.


you are beautiful for
a split second,
until my voice cracks the
silence
i tell you that we could be
no one, and nothing.
and you ask me.

for what?
so we make the movie anyways.

I dunno.
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