I'm told knowledge is a virtue.
Knowledge leads to understanding.
Fulfillment.
Shrewd eyes perceive it as arrogance;
Self-elevating over others.
I must love believing I am better,
As so the snickering goes.
In reality, it's sadness.
The joy of sharing knowledge
Is shamed back into a pit,
For knowledge is the enemy of ignorance
And a protégé of wisdom.

.
.
.
Are we going?
Are we flowing?
Kiss me slow.
I’m decoding.
Okay, now you got me floating in your head...
...while I’m sinking...
...in your bed...
.
.
.
take me up
show me what you owe me
take me up
.
.
.
so this is what you mean, “all eyes on me?”
im brushing off debris,
soaking in your dream.
Show me the unseen.
Where has it all been?
Show me the extent, I don’t wanna pretend.
Take me up.
.
.
.
Show me what?
What you know?
Kiss me fast.
I’m encoded.

Do you always wear your smile like this?
Have you tried it from the side, like this?
You’re the highlight of the show.
Let’s live tonight like we’re myths.
Do you always ride the vibe like this?
Have you ever felt the hype like this?
Be the highlights of the night.
Kiss me through your sunset tears.
I might,
Tonight,
Empty my conscious out,
Invite you to newer heights,
A modest view of the sprites,
Tonight,
I might.

I was floating on the moon now I’m back in town.
My feet still hover, smooth, they don’t touch the ground.
It’s hard to fall in love
When you’re guilt trippin’.
When my back was against the wall
Somehow, you went missin’.
Now that I’m doing good
You start blowing kisses.
Talking wedding bells in June,
You wanna be my Mrs.
I’m onto better days.
I’ve outgrown this zone, how could I ever stay?
I just want to elevate.
I can’t afford the time to just sit and wait.
Floating through the stars because they can relate.
It’s not up for debate, you’re already too late.
I’m driving on the cosmic interstate while you hesitate.

I’m onto better days….

I hear whispers in my ear.
They're tempting me, they're always here.
They're haunting me.
They're stalking me.
The shadows move once they speak.
I don't know what they want from me.
They're taunting me.

Moon beams shatter the sky.
Bring me the light.
Keep me alive.
I'm not alright.
They have arrived.
Get me through the night.

Don’t come back.
I know that you can’t understand.
I wanna fight.
I’ll win this time.
You don’t think I can?

Last time
Everything was numb, my heart was cold.
Yet somehow you convinced me I was home.
If I shut my eyes,
When I wake up, you’ll be gone?

There’s a thin line between hero and villain.
Everyone’s a hero in their own story,
But someone must be the villain.
Both are born through trauma and grief,
Yet one rises above
While one brings others down.
A gentle push from fate
Spirals an innocent mind.
Eventually a choice is made.
The proverbial line is drawn.
And teetering on that line
Is the indifference of man,
Waiting for their push.

She’s the last of the fairy tales.
The mobs came with pitchforks and torches.
The ashes of the golden era stains her skin.
Her magic dwindled, wounded by the sins of man.
She seeks not revenge, nor justice.
She seeks punishment.
I have been the guardian of her heart;
A heart she feels she no longer needs.
There will be a day where it beats again.
Not this day.
On this day she waits in the dark,
Waiting for the day her memory is forgotten;
The day her tragedy becomes a myth.
On that day, reckoning will come
To remind them their cruelty is unequalled
By the spirit of a fallen star.
On that day, I will be her harbinger.
On that day, I will resurrect the memory
They wished would stay buried in the depths.
On that day, the hearts of man will cry for mercy,
Only to fall upon deaf ears...
Because I made a promise.
Cross my heart, she’ll never die.
Look your devil in her eyes.

You say you love me, ooh, make me better.
When they all abandoned you, I would never.
Diamonds only debut under pressure.
So whatever you’re going through, it’s together.

When your mind feels like a zombie,
When you can’t trust nobody,
We’ll wait ‘til after dark
Get away from everybody
And I’ll sit in the dark with you, ooh ooh.

Stand clear
I’m a bomb and I’m set to explode.
I swear
It’s best that I do this alone.

Head for the hills love,
Go lock your doors.
It’s how I’m programmed,
I can’t do more.
Leave me be and let me explode.

You can’t stay here, love
I can’t disengage.
My manual is missing pages…
Tonight, I’m shooting straight for the moon.
Oh, I won’t be back soon.
Tonight, I’m going to detonate.
Oh, I don’t wanna be late.
Don’t wait.
Don’t wait for me.

It took three drinks just to get me here.
You said it wasn’t enough, that it wasn’t clear.
Four calls to your voicemail.
I didn’t understand why, but I apologized.
Two trips down memory lane
And I don’t think it will ever be like that again.
One moment of clarity
But I can tell you’re forcing that smile.

I can’t bring myself to tell you what’s wrong with me.
Maybe I’m too afraid you’ll be angry.
No one’s been able to look under the surface.
It’s a mess like a circus, I thought it was my burden.
I couldn’t look at you and hope that you would understand.
That’s why I keep it close to the chest.

It took six drinks just to get us here.
You said it wasn’t my fault, but it is my dear.
Five hugs and a kiss for luck.
I want to tell you more but my words are stuck.
One date to make it up to you
And I’m so sorry.

The center of attention, she commands the room.
She’s on her own frequency, try to stay in tune.
She’s lookin’ like champagne, never coming down.
I never stood a chance.

She’s got eyes like the sunrise, a smile like July.
She speaks life with every word, no wonder I’m alive.
She’s smoother than champagne, she deserves her crown.
I won’t resist the trance.

Sweaty palms and a fever, how do I approach?
My feet left the ground now, I’m losing control.
Then she offers me champagne, a night on the town.
I need a heart transplant.

The night started off right, good friends, good vibes, all love.
Downtown Charm City and it was all about us.
Got a couple rounds of shots, pretty soon it was all hugs.
I was fading, for real.
Here’s a good pic of a girl all in my ear.
Telling me everything that I probably wanna hear.
I think I said “Girl I’m from the Old Bay.”
And then she said “Mmm bring it my way.”
Put in a request for the DJ, he said
Alright, okay.

We kept drinking drink after drink, we’re tipsy.
Now we’re on the floor cutting loose, acting like a fool.
She gave me a kiss? Did I kiss back?
Oh ****, don’t remember that!
How much did I have to drink last night?

I woke up with a total stranger.
She had her grips on me.
Here’s me in the car with her.
Made me feel like a king.
I made a slideshow with her?
Everything’s such a blur.

I woke up in her bed while she's downstairs making eggs.
Am I alright?
I’m okay.

You would tell me “Everything’s better with time.”
That everything’s gonna be fine.
But I’m still waiting.
The truth is time has forgotten about me.
I can’t recognize anyone I see.
Anxiety’s invading.

So I ask the stars to show me where I belong.
I’m so tired of being strong.
No, I cannot stay here.

You remind me of everything I said back then.
I was so naive back then.
Oh how I’ve learned.
But I’m barely put together by glue.
I don’t know if I’ll make it through.
Anxiety’s returned.

So don’t ask me where I belong.
I’m so tired of being wrong.
So don’t ask that of me.
I just know I cannot stay here.

No, nothing about this says home.
I cannot stay here.
No, I’m just a stranger, I’m just alone.
I cannot stay here.
No, I don’t know where I will go,
But I cannot stay here.

You emerge from the shadows
With a glimmer in your smile.
Your fingertips are soothing
But your demeanor is hostile.

I feel safe in your embrace
But I’m shaking like a child.
Build me up with your seduction,
Leave my innocence defiled.

I hear whispers tempting.
I see my journey ending.
My heartbeat’s not resting.
Kiss slow while *******…
I hear echoes of my past,
They warn me this will never last,
“Remember me.”
They’re warning me.

They tell me what I will become
But what we’ve started can’t be undone.

Truth under my breath
But nobody can hear the words.
I’m thinking out loud, what’s keeping me alive?
What’s keeping my mind occupied on Mars,
Fickle friends and fast cars?

I’m too nervous to
Stand in the room, waiting for the world to swoon.
I don’t see none of my regrets
And I don’t need anybody’s help.

A puppet on the string,
Control everything.

I don’t need any more regrets.
And I don’t see anybody’s help.
But I don’t see anybody else.
Just mute me.

There’s some lightning in your heartbeat,
Can’t you see
There’s a lot of storms around you?
But I brought us an umbrella,
Stand with me.
I know it’s not home,
But you won’t be cold alone.

Au Revoir, twinkle star.
It’s okay to cry a little, baby.
As the night comes to play,
I’ll be here for you to claim me.

Thanks to Gene, I can see,
How the world is pure imagination.
But it means not a think
If you can’t share in my elation.

As you sleep, dream of me,
In your world of slumber animation.
Won’t be long, sing this song,
And I promise it will hasten.

So bonsoir, little star.
Wrap yourself inside your little blanket.
I’ll be here for you dear,
Just as you always expected.

Photographs.
There was love here once.
There was happiness here once.
Once...
But time flew past
And we couldn’t keep up.
We tried our best
But you stopped to rest.
It doesn’t matter where you were
Or where you are now.
‘Cause you’ll never be where I am again.

Smiles and laughs.
We couldn’t get enough.
We couldn’t give enough.
But...
When the magic left,
And all that remained was us,
It wasn’t good enough,
I was never good enough.
I couldn’t recognize you,
But you swore you didn’t change.
I swear that I believed,
Because why lie to me?

You left me breathless
And God, did I miss the air.
You couldn’t care.
It doesn’t matter where you were
Or where you are now.
You’ll never be where I am again.
You’re a stranger.
A stranger of love.

Life is never expected.
Experiences, I collected.
Spent a lot of time reflecting
On aspects of me I neglected.

A house in Beverly Hills?
I don’t need it, I don’t need it.
Ferrari with rims on the wheels?
I don’t need it, I don’t need it.
Victoria’s model, no secret.
I don’t need it, I don’t need it.
Superficial stuff, you can keep it.
I don’t need it, I don’t need it.

You’re synonymous with music.
It’s like you’re my favorite playlist.
Sweatpants Saturday with your hair in a twist.
I was yours before our first kiss.
You protect me from my demons.
Strengthen me when I’m weakened.
Wanna get high on the weekends.
Attracted to you like a beacon.

Stay as you are.
I need it, I need it.
Be my shooting star.
I need it, I need it.
Don’t feed into external stuff.
I need it, I need it.
‘Cause you’ll always be enough.

If life was a career then,
We were at our height
From the hallowed high school hallways
To the Hollywood nights.
Acting like it’s our birthright
Called ourselves “mid flight”.
Destination unknown
It never mattered where we landed
Because Saturday night was our own.

Link up at the skate rink,
I see Teresa, I fake wink
There’s some drama starting in the parking lot
But it’s mostly dudes who just talk a lot.
****, we would show off our fashion,
Posted up on the wall for all the see
They all wanted to show love, stand next to you and me.
But that was never our scene.
Yeah, we had different passions.

Aw yeah, picking up girls to be romantic.
They swore they saw through our antics.
We laughed it off, then trashed the mall,
Then drove to the Atlantic.

Aw, the OC waves.
Those were some good days.
Then it happened in a flash.
Your reign ended in a car crash.
Now I’m smokin’, thinking of the ordeal.
I love you, my soul for real.

Cold
That was all I felt
Not a broken bone or wounded flesh
Just cold
I'm breathing heavy but I'm not panicking
My breath forms a cloud around my face
Before disappearing into the fading skyline
I knew something was wrong
I knew because there was nothing wrong with me

My eyes were polluted with the sight of death
Carnage at my feet
Life leaving their blood and bone host
Lives more important than mine
Yet I was chosen
I was the one fate decided to keep
It were as if hands were plunged into the mud and grief
To spare me the tarnish
The light in the dark hollow
Or the dark in the light bastion

A void captured my true emotions
Holding them captive until I figure it out
The papers had their stories of me
"Miracle Man" they called me
The one death forgot
The one who escaped a tragedy
Without a scratch to show truth
A walking folklore
A bedtime story for the kids
Any other man would have felt blessed
Lucky or even grateful perhaps
I just felt cold

Sleep became a chore, and the bottom of the pint became my guilt
One day I bring my gaze from upon my mug
To see a man dressed in purpose
A man with a stare
A man with a story
A man of pain and misfortune
He didn't have to say anything
He knew
I knew
We could feel it
The cold followed us, ever looming on our shoulders bare
Through those blank faces that torment our memories
Constantly reminding us of the burden we choose to carry
Through all the dust, fire, and filth there stood us

Anomalies

Don’t know what I’m doing here.
You’re so far out my league, but
I saw you standing there
And I knew I had to speak.
I swear
I’m not usually this shy.

I’m not tryna be your guy.
The last one left you jaded.
I wanna make you smile
And maybe get faded.
I swear,
There’s something waiting for us tonight.
And I
Know I’ve been drinking
But I
Really have been thinking
Of you.
What I say is true,
I just wanna be in your world.

They say the truth shall set you free.
Truth is a matter of perspective.
I know the picture you see.
I don’t agree.
I know you are misinformed
And the truth will release you from ignorance.
The truth will set you straight.
The truth will enlighten you.
But that truth is just my truth.
I know what my truth can do to you.
I know it will rumble your foundation.
Change your picture.
But I don’t share my truth.
I’m afraid.
I’m afraid it will hurt you.
I know you are not ready.
And I care about you.
So I lie.
And we are both prisoners.

The orchestra awaits in the pit;
Waiting for their cue.
Waiting for the lights.
The hierarchy of the symphony ready’s their instruments.
The concertmaster prepares the string section.
The principle trombone and trumpet
Rallies the brass section.
The flute looks over the woodwinds.
All these parts and pieces brought together
To make beautiful music;
Music that pierces the soul,
Soothes the turbulent mind,
And brings sophistication
To the chaotic mind.

Yet there is a man
Who stands before the assembly.
He does not play strings.
He does not play brass.
He does not play woodwind.
He stands before the assembly with wand in hand
With his back facing an eager audience.
For he has the most important job of all.
The orchestra would remain an assembly
Of beautiful noise with no direction
Without that magic wand.

This man directs the noise
To blend and flow
To make sense to our ears.
He is the conductor,
And he plays the orchestra.

What if a mouse
Had the power of a human?
Would it do as a human does?
Or would it continue as a mouse?
What if a human
Had the power of a god?

We yearn for something greater,
Something that gives meaning
To our flesh and bone.
Answers to questions we desperately seek,
Only to find our ambition
Outweighs our ability.

We want something we don’t understand
With the hope that we will.
Should a man possess the power of a god,
That man will not be godly.
That man would still be a man,
But seen as a god to other men.
Who would teach that man to be a god
If no other man has been a god?

We shun the notion of a mouse
Being human,
Yet laugh at the challenge
Of being a god.
But what’s the difference?

Crying loud, stuck in your throat.
No one can hear.
Tread along, feet drag behind.
No one is near.
It’s too late to restart.
You’re faking your part.
Go down that avenue,
You’ll never find peace.
When you come home to good medicine,
You’ll finally sleep.

Light it up, let it out.
Whole mind is sore.
Inhale, holding on tight.
Flowing to your core.
It gets late, it gets dark.
You’re playing this part.
Lay down, obscured view,
You’re searching for peace.
Come down from good medicine
So you can get sleep.

Windows

It’s not the truth I seek,
But my truth I desire.
I’ve been trapped in this room so long
That I didn’t notice the window.

Outside this window was light.
Within that light, I saw life.
A landscape of green, vibrant and stunning.

Another window appears.
A midsummer rainstorm
Washing the streets and nourishing the world.
The smell of life penetrates the glass.

Then I noticed several more windows.
A sky painted with sleepy hues.
A deep ocean, calm and tranquil.
A metropolitan skyline, busy and loud.
A symphony of animal shouts and chirps.
A desert oasis full of wonder.

In awe of the splendor, I glance back to the room,
And I realize my truth.
I was never trapped in this room.
I just never looked for an exit.

It begins with a spark.
A surge I feel in my bones.
I’m unaware, at first,
But slowly it spreads throughout.

The sensation reaches full potential,
It builds to the surface.
Suddenly, my interior sneaks out
And dares anyone to witness.

As an expression.
As words.
As a gesture.
I am left with conflict.
Do I stroke this flame
And let it consume its surroundings?
Or do I let it wither,
Starved of attention?

Just as I begin to understand,
Just as I begin to see this flicker
Draped over me,
It vanishes,
As quickly as it came.

I’m left with the aftermath,
And the wonderment
Of if I’ll ever catch it as it sparks,
Or continue to be seconds behind.

Took my breath from me.
Passion swept us off our feet.
Sunk her teeth so deep in me,
Left me numb in this reverie.
She gives a smile for me
As my blood falls to her cheek.
Sing a lullaby off key.
What has she done to me?

While I was sleeping I felt compressed.
Weight of the world, I felt on my chest.
Open my eyes, I just see blood-red.
No going back.

Undead fantasies replaces memories of old
Like a story once told, stripped away,
I won’t need them.
The world just stares at me,
But there’s no life out there for me.
I just want her to take me home,
See what’s beyond this flesh and bones.

I must be dreaming, it’s in my head.
My body’s empty, I feel undressed.
I’m barely breathing, but there’s no stress.
No going back.

Hearing the words but they don’t come out my mouth.
I can’t work up the nerve
To ask her to dance and maybe buy her a drink,
I think I might throw up.
Another song, hope I’m not wrong,
I’m leaning on the jukebox.

Standing in place like nobody is there,
I can’t believe myself.
A million reasons I should go over there
But I hide in my cup.
Another song, hope I’m not wrong,
I’m leaning on the jukebox.
I’m pleading with the jukebox.

When your heart goes numb
You’ll do anything to feel again.
In the cold, dark, night,
Wandering aimlessly to see again.

Is this just a warning
Of who we’ll become in the morning?
Is this just a moment
Or is there a call we’re ignoring?
Choices and consequences.
Did you learn nothing?

When your heart goes numb
You’ll do anything to feel something.

I used to speak a language that had no limitations.
I could speak to the birds,
Ask them how it felt to fly.
I could speak to the trees,
Ask them how tall they could grow.
I could speak to the wind,
Ask it where it was going.
I could speak to the babbling creek,
Ask it why it was so talkative.
Ah, the visible world was so chatty back then.
I could even speak to the invisible world.
My imagination would sometimes come to life.
It would often be my company through the days.
As I grew older my world became less talkative.

How did that language go?

A brand new morning
The same old feelings,
I have to face the day.
Put on a good show,
Put on a great display.
It’s so cliche.
I don’t know how to say
That I’m not okay.

I’m falling apart now,
Fading away.
New moments keep coming,
Old feelings stay.
I need you to lean on,
I can’t stand today.
I don’t wanna sprint through this,
I just need to keep pace.

Done with me,
Ending us early,
It seems to me you got all you needed
I bet.
“It’s all me,
I know it’s hard to believe,
I didn’t mean to mislead,”
You said.
When did you know we wouldn’t make it?
Why’d you spend so much time tryna fake it?
Texting that guy, you told me not to worry.
But you ran to his arms in a hurry.
And here I thought I deserved love
But you only gave me hurt love.

It’s all blurry, it’s all faded.
All of the time that I wasted.
2 a.m. deep talks all wasted.
Charm City harbor nights wasted.
Foundation for love, I gave it.
Island trips and diamonds, you were chasing.
Does he do the things for you that I do?
Or were you looking for something new?
Does he know the games that you’re playing?
Does he know that your love is dangerous?

It’s all blurry, it’s all faded.
He’s probably thinking he deserves love.
He doesn’t know you give hurt love.

I am
The guy on the side,
The one you desperately try to hide,
But that’s alright.
I’m willing to let it all slide
Just as long as you show up on time,
Then everything is fine.
It’s lust, that I understand
But don’t get mad if I don’t hold your hand,
Because I’m not your man.
By and by, put your feelings aside,
And remember this it what you implied.

I heard them talking.
Saying how I was a fool,
And everybody knew.
Except for me I guess.
But nonetheless,
I had to see if these wings
Could fly,
Go beyond the azure sky.
What should I do?
Keep my feet safe on the ground?
But what if I
Find something no one’s ever found?
If I fall,
At least I know I tried.
When myself and fate
Collide,
I’ll greet it with a smile.
It’s better than
Lying awake at night.

A picture captures a dream of a time
That I was living.
A time where the sky was always gold
And no worries were given.
My only responsibility
Was to be back before the streetlights.
Nintendo 64 with my friends
And Nickelodeon all through the night.
I wasn’t bothered by thoughts
Of what people thought of me.
We were true to ourselves
Even if we didn’t know what that meant.

I wonder if I went back now
To meet who I was back then,
Would I be proud of myself
Or see I’m way off track once again?
Have I found my truth
Or did I forget the lessons from youth?
Can’t help but laugh at this photograph.
Oh, it’s time that I went back.

As it begins,
You explore who you are
And how you fit into the world.
More questions than answers.
Answers begets more questions.
You know you must choose a direction.
The abundance of obstacles
Clutter your path,
And an overwhelming sensation occurs,
One you’ve experience before;
Fear.

As you fall,
You are unaware of lost footing.
The world shows multiple grays,
And all the fear
You fought valiantly to subdue
Reminds you it never left.
The fires spread,
Consuming all for its feast,
Conflicting with all you stand for.
You hit the ground soaked in its residue;
Chaos.

Through the pain
You endure the worst,
Discovering the secrets of the fickle world
And who you must be to survive.
Adapt, reinvent, unlock
Your next form, your new wisdom.
Reach down, gather your strength
And stare down the flames
With an unyielding resolve,
And achieve what chaos thought you could never do;
Rise.

Sweet tea
And mustard stains’ what I remember first
Of the night we watched
Fireworks at the Inner Harbor,
Then I threw up.
Nervous from your mild touch
As you held my hand, it wasn’t planned.
It was mid July
And we watched our favorite band
Play our song.

That’s all we had.
That summer night
And neon lights to guide our way home.
You kissed me softly on the cheek.
Your eyes said words I couldn’t speak.
I’m whistling our playlist
And hoping your kiss won’t fade.

While I try to sleep,
I couldn’t help but to think
This just might be my moment.
So I grabbed my keys, took dad's car,
I’m practicing my repertoire.
How was I to know
What I’d see in your window?

The shadows moved from right to left,
Feeling my heart break in my chest.
The clear picture made me sick
To see who you replaced me with.
When it rains it will surely pour
And my socks soaked to the floor.
I wish I would have stayed in bed.

I clutched my hand upon my cheek.
My tears said words I couldn’t speak.
I’m deleting our playlist
But still hoping your kiss won’t fade.

Silhouette
Of your beautiful heart
Saunters
Over my lonely shoulders,
Clutching
Your very memory,
Reminding me you’re not here.
Oh, how empty, without you.
Waking up, and I feel
Your breath.
Your touch.
Reality wakes up too
And humbles me.
I know
I could
Never
Show you
How much you shaped me,
How much I see you,
How much I love you,
How much I need you.
My world is my house
But your love feels like home.

You take the worst of you.
You take the worst and hide it away,
Deep in a dark building,
In its dark basement,
In the darkest room,
And lock it away.
Hidden and forgotten.
You hide it because you’re ashamed;
You hide it because you can’t erase it.
So it’s buried with all your flaws,
Mistakes,
Regrets,
Never to see the light.
Time convinces you this is who you are.
And you believe it so.

Then someone comes along
And sees what you want to become.
What you can become,
And the light they shine on you
Is the warmest your skin has ever felt.
You want them to know the real you,
Not the version common eyes feast on.

You clutch the key in your pocket,
Twirling it in your trembling hand,
Wanting to hand it to them,
Allow them to venture to the depths of your failures.
You want them to see it and exclaim
“I still accept you.”

The thought fades,
And you’re reminded of the storage
That haunts the basement of that lonely building.
You see the terrors tucked away
And imagine what this special person would think.

You are a hoarder of horrors,
Too afraid to let anyone see,
And too afraid to let go.

Peace.
It’s so far fetched to think I could catch a moment of solace.
Eluding me, so close and yet so far..
But you’re the answer to a question I could never ask.
If I’m the sky then you must be the star.

Trying to remember the emotions I lost in a year.
It’s flooding back each time you look at me.
The lies I told myself were all I knew.
The truth inside your bright eyes let’s me see.

But I don’t want to see beyond this night
As the morning light is too bright.

Spent so long
Trying to make sense of it all.
Starry night
Makes me feel so big, yet so small.

This world conforms to me.
Landscapes bursting with hues,
You can almost smell the colors.
Benevolent to my wounds.
Distorted shapes and figures
Blending with one another.
My solace,
My sanctum,
My peace.

My worries,
My pain,
My memories,
None are welcome.
An escape from all that wishes to harm me.
One stroke of my finger
And all my imagination appears.

I hear familiar voices from the outside.
“Come back,” they shout,
“Come back to reality
And face what troubles you.”

“No,” I whisper,
“I think I’ll stay.”