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Jan 2020 · 204
Music Is Me
Cardboard-Jones Jan 2020
I’m a child of nature so come meet your neighbor.
I make my own way, I don’t need your favors.
It got dark sometimes, but it made me braver,
Now no one can say “please go save her”.
What did you think that I put my cape up?
I’ll either make it now but for sure later.
So each step that I take, ooh I savor like
Good morning, I don’t need no makeup.
I’m on a mission to be greater,
Shooting for the stars, Ursa Major.
I don’t fall
I don’t fail
I won’t bend
I won’t break.
I’m way too authentic to ever be fake.
Got too many dreams but now I’m awake.
Just give me a beat and let me create.
Just listen to the beat if you wanna hear me speak.
I’ll say it again, put me on repeat.
I am music, and music is me
So I’ll show you a world that your eyes can’t see.
A friend of mine makes music so I dedicated this to her talent and visions
Jan 2020 · 226
Private Dance
Cardboard-Jones Jan 2020
She looks like temptation.
There’s no way I’d ever tell her no.
She tries so hard to fake it.
She can’t let anyone know.
As soon as the lights get low,
She starts dancing real slow
And I just go with the flow.
But she just wants to leave.

She dreams big in this small town.
Bright lights, fame, a house in L.A. hills.
But she’s scared she’ll never make it,
Stuck here with her desires unfulfilled.
It’s right there on her face…
It’s right there if you’d care to see.
The tears stream down her face...
But it’s hard to see in subdued lighting.

So she’ll dance in a thong.
And she’ll dance to every song.
Bring fantasies to reality,
But hers remain asleep.
Cardboard-Jones Jan 2020
That night, you stole,
Something precious from me.
One glance, my heart,
Couldn’t disagree.
Everything was fine until
I walked in on your last ****.
Even though the signs all showed, I didn’t know
That you’re just evil.

I catch you sneaking out at night,
I knew something wasn’t right.
I thought that I knew you.
It’s always robberies in progress
Or some threat you made to Congress.
By the way you got some blood on your shoes.

Don’t try to distract me,
You always side track me
Your outfit does attract me, let’s get back to my point.
Thought it was love at first sight
But you just want to plan heists.
Am I just someone you see you can exploit?
And she said
“You’re my minion now.”
Jan 2020 · 213
The Odyssey Man
Cardboard-Jones Jan 2020
A stranger among familiar faces.
His return was celebrated by all.
Surface, he was the same.
None ever looked in his eyes.
Ignored the wounds from his travels.
He was distant.
Estranged from his former life.

What happened to my friend?
What did he see?
Did he leave something behind?
Or was it taken from him?
Jan 2020 · 111
Strong Fight
Cardboard-Jones Jan 2020
To everybody strugglin’, this is your song.
When you feel everything about you is so wrong.
And everyone tells you to move on.
So you try to pretend and play along.
It’s a feeling you’re afraid you won’t escape from.
Even more scared of what you might become.
Working so hard to keep it stable,
When there’s so much sitting on your table.
The weight feels so much like you’re not able,
Like you can’t overcome all the labels.
But you’re showing up,
And that’s alright.
So keep showing up,
It’ll be alright.
It’s a long fight.

Now the real you goes into hiding
Because there’s no one you can confide in.
You’re barely speaking up on these issues
Because all the say is “Oh my gosh, here’s a tissue.”
I understand.

Then the morning comes, can’t get out of bed.
Thinking of the day ahead, you’d rather be dead.
You hold it together, feet on the ground
Because you’re one bad moment from a breakdown.
Reminisce back when you could really shine.
But that’s the past tense, these are dark times.
You still face the day
Gotta show the world what you’re made of
‘Cause you know it’s too easy just to give up.
And you’re showing up,
And it’s alright.
And you’re not alone
In this long fight.
Give it a strong fight.
Jan 2020 · 139
When I Was King
Cardboard-Jones Jan 2020
Once upon a time I had it all.
I was King.
Never thought that I would ever fall.
Lose everything.
Songs about me would echo in the halls.
Oh how’d they sing.
Now my future’s come to a crawl.
What will it bring?
What will it bring?

I woke up too early from dreaming.
Oh how I miss all those feelings.
I can’t seem to shake off these demons.
Wonder what else they’ll be scheming.
Jan 2020 · 226
For The 'Gram
Cardboard-Jones Jan 2020
I remember when I knew you.
You were so authentic, so original.
And you didn’t mind being invisible.
Never had desires to be digital.

Now I can’t recognize you.
Never post a picture if the lighting’s wrong.
Adopt whatever trend happens to come along.
Twerking in your ******* to your favorite songs.

I can’t help but wonder
What is it that made you decide to start wearing less?
Who is it that you’re so desperate to impress?
Why you think that showing off your body equals success?
Why are you so obsessed?
What is it you want suppressed?
Always going live.
Always online.
Used to be so reserved, and so in tune
To who you are inside.

Can you confess to me,
Who is it you’re trying to be?
Dec 2019 · 302
Stay In Love
Cardboard-Jones Dec 2019
Will you stay in love with me
If I sing a rhyme?

Because the past is the past
And I’m in a different frame of mind.
Come share this heartbeat of mine
So we can flourish over time.
Oh, honey, won’t you stay in love with me?
And let me be…
Oh, we can be...
Dec 2019 · 158
Enemy
Cardboard-Jones Dec 2019
So it’s like that?
For so long we’ve been estranged
All because you wanted “change.”
Oh you like that?
Feeling like you’ve grown
Because you abandoned everything you’ve known?
I’m deep in your bones.
You think you could’ve survived
Out there on your own?
No, no, no….
It was me that you ran to
When the world couldn’t stand you
This picture that you paint is so contrived.
I won’t be ignored.
Show them who you wish to be,
I’m as much of you as you are of me.
I’ll be around to collect my debt
Because the mirror won’t let you forget.
Dec 2019 · 418
The Performance
Cardboard-Jones Dec 2019
I see myself from the outside.
They observe me as they are.
I laugh.
I smile.
I render a friendly gesture.
But they do not know.
And how could they?
We are tethered together, but not the same.
I grow tired of this place.
I grow tired of this dance.
I grow tired of this stage.
I grow tired of the applause.
I grow tired of this routine.

I await the end of my solitude.
Dec 2019 · 169
Trash Man
Cardboard-Jones Dec 2019
Trash man came by today,
Same time he comes every day and
He asked for all my trash.
He didn’t care if it was in a bag so I
Gave him all my anxiety
That’s living inside of me.
My depression, all my fears, and my insecurity.

Trash man, trash man,
I’ll never understand how
He can tip his hat and smile
And say “I’ll see you in a while.”
He never once complains or
Mentions the weight of my pain.
Wind, hail, snow, or rain,
Tomorrow he’ll be back again.

Well I love you trash man,
Make your rounds in a flash.
I can’t help but wonder, though,
Who takes the trash man’s trash?
Dec 2019 · 271
Time
Cardboard-Jones Dec 2019
I’m weeping,
I forgot how to love, I need you to reteach me.
Been abused so long my heart’s no longer speaking.

Want to tell you all of the secrets it’s keeping.
You’re being so patient, I know this isn’t easy.

A prisoner of my own past, I just wonder can you free me?
Tried to hide it so long, I’m so glad that you see me.

Love has been a travesty for years.
Everything I knew just disappeared.
I want to spend more time with you.
I want to love just like you do.

Apathy hit me so severe.
I want love to be something I revere.
Love came back on time with you.
So let me take my time with you.
Nov 2019 · 808
Hush
Cardboard-Jones Nov 2019
Diamond skies.
Moonstruck eyes.
Silent lips
Tells no lies.
Stardust quietly floats around,
A frozen blanket mutes the slumber town.
The chill runs deep
While the season sleeps.
But my heart is warm,
And that, you can keep.
Nov 2019 · 197
So Ghostly
Cardboard-Jones Nov 2019
So ghostly.
Always running away.
You got nothing to say?
So ghostly.
So alive for the ‘gram,
But you’re cold in my hand.
So ghostly.
You fade in and out,
Are you having doubts?
So ghostly.
So, isn’t this real?
How could you feel
So ghostly?

Hold on to my love,
Hold on to it love.
Give it more time to be a little bit stronger.
Words go in and out her ears.
She would rather disappear.
Nov 2019 · 533
Goodbye October
Cardboard-Jones Nov 2019
This wasn’t supposed to be
Nothing more than a normal day.
The next five years were gone
When you told me you couldn’t stay.
Then there it was, the silence we just couldn’t avoid,
Was here now.
Your speech is slurred, I look away,
It’s all fleeting now.

I notice the leaves.
I wish that they would stay orange and red.
I wish the crickets kept serenading through the night.
I wish the moment stayed for a while longer.
It’ll all be gone by winter.
Nov 2019 · 337
The First Truth I Told
Cardboard-Jones Nov 2019
I’m in a dorm room with the lights all off,
You were there, it’s 5:15.
The day was fading and all I see
Is the flickering lights from the city.

The sun was burning now just like the whiskey,
Or was it Crown? It’s 9:16.
I smelled tangerines.
Was that your perfume?
I swear I could see for miles in your eyes.
You wanted me to say it, so I said it.

I’m afraid.
To be myself, to be a man.
But I’m 19.
Guess I’ll figure that out as best I can.

I really miss that dorm room.
Oct 2019 · 426
My Beautiful Monster Part 2
Cardboard-Jones Oct 2019
Your scars
Tells the story that your lips could never utter,
Safe in the basement of your heart.
Bloodstains and tear drops have brought us to this moment.
I won’t abandon you now.

Hurry,
They’ll surround us, didn’t think they’d ever find us.
We’re so close to sanctuary and peace.
They’ll have to **** me before I ever surrender.
We can’t hide anymore.

Beautiful
Monster.
I’ll scream.
You roar.
The wounds you thought would never heal.
The loss of love you never knew.
I’ll love you til the end of time.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
It’s time they know who you really are.
Oct 2019 · 381
Howl
Cardboard-Jones Oct 2019
Maybe I can
Howl once again.
It seems, you’re far more damaged…
I’ve been a fool.
If it’s easier
I’ll stand for you.
Tell me when you can howl once more.

If I were you
And I could see the moon,
Maybe I’d understand why you weep.
I’ve been a fool, but I’ll make amends.
I’ll learn how to see.
Tell me if you can’t...see...no more.

Don’t abandon your light.
These nights will always come.
You’ll sing again and...
I’ll be the freak
That keeps you company.
Oct 2019 · 404
Neon Dusk
Cardboard-Jones Oct 2019
And we looked at the summer for the last time
In the twilight of our youth.
And we spoke to the summer for the last time
In the highlight of our truth.
And it was real but we never knew.

You needed emotions for the first time,
It reflected in your eyes.
I hid my emotions for the first time,
As it echoed through my lies.
And it was real but we never knew.
We never knew it.

When you can see who you could be,
Maybe we’ll meet again.
When I forget all my regrets.
Maybe we’ll meet again.
Sep 2019 · 571
Smiles & Cries
Cardboard-Jones Sep 2019
I used to laugh.
Now I cry.
It's been so long
I don't remember why.
You took me by the hand.
I didn't understand
Why you were smiling...
Aug 2019 · 211
Charm City: Azure Hall
Cardboard-Jones Aug 2019
I say I’m fine
But I know how to lie.
Dumping all of me into this drink.
My friends do their best,
To show me how I’m blessed.
Loving up on  me, but I’m faking.
I guess…
I’m still hurting, it’s still weighing.
Wondering where you’re laying.
Who’s this new guy you’re displaying?
…….
Approaching me
With danger in her eyes.
Poison on her lips, I bet.
Lingering,
The smell of her perfume.
Allure on her tongue calling out for me.
I can’t…
You should know this, you should know,
I may glitter but I’m not gold.
I was told not to love anybody
‘Cause I’m just gonna hurt somebody.
She said “I know that road is rocky,
‘Cause I’ve already been somebody.”
So I put my hands on her body.
It felt good to be close to somebody.

It’s not love, it’s not romance.
She just came here for a dance.
I say I’m fine, but I can lie.
She sees the truth behind my eyes.
“Let me cure you, bring your pain.
Hopefully you’ll do the same.”
Jul 2019 · 310
Hypnagogia
Cardboard-Jones Jul 2019
Underneath the clouds
But stumbling above the ground.
I quietly shout
What’s keeping me around?
What keeps me silhouetted in the background
Of your fickle heart and your crown?

When I open my eyes,
A blurry masquerade of a reality unmade.
I can’t tell if I’m awake.
And I can’t tell if I made a mistake.
I’m putty in your hand
At home with the ******.

I can’t tell if I’m awake.
And I can’t tell if I made a mistake.
And I can’t tell if I’m insane.
Hypnagogia is the transitional phase between wakefulness and sleep.
Jul 2019 · 328
Bridges
Cardboard-Jones Jul 2019
I see that troubled water,
I just cannot be bothered.
I know it looks bad, I know that it looks bad.
Looking for greener times,
Clearing my foggy mind.
I get the tool bag, I’m getting my tool bag.
Distances seems like a lot.
When you’re travelling and everybody just forgot.
It’s been so long since I transitioned into this,
But they only see the old me, they reminisce.
Communication without comprehension,
Though good intentions, is just lack of info retention,
I swear.
I build them up, and they just burn them down.
Then have the audacity to ask why I’m never around.
“Oh, hey, how are you?
You look so familiar.”
School them once, school them twice,
I’m on a different curricular.
I don’t have the time to keep repeating lessons
When all they seem to give me is false confessions.
With change on my mind, the past on my nerves,
I’m building bridges to get to something that I deserve.



Sleepy,
It’s 11:30, why you come to see me?
Ain’t seen you for months, girl, now you wanna see me?
Standing on my porch now, saying “You complete me.”
With the low cut tank top, thinking than intrigues me.
Bite your bottom lip, ooh, you thought this would be easy.
Thought that I’d forget just how bad you treat me?
I know all your tricks, yeah, that ****’s beneath me.
You used to be a playlist that I could put on repeat.
All your cute words, they’re just trying to deceive me.
But that bridge is gone now, why don’t you believe me?
Jul 2019 · 283
6 Feet Beneath
Cardboard-Jones Jul 2019
How many days have slipped through your fingers like the wind?
Did you notice? Did you feel it?
It’s like this feeling inside
Makes you feel like you’re going nowhere,
And nothing matters.
What if I caught you stargazing
And ran into your arms,
Would you see then what I always see?
I’d look into your eyes and tell you
The stars have been here all along.
It’s easy to say everything’s going to end.
Especially when you can’t see where you started.
It’s safer to say that we are all alone.
So before your heart becomes your grave site
And you’re buried six feet beneath the ground.
You didn’t lose your shine,
You just forgot where you put it.
You didn’t abandon your shine,
You just overlooked it.
Bring those starry eyes back
And see what I’ve seen all along.
Jun 2019 · 300
Devil Town
Cardboard-Jones Jun 2019
I just moved to Devil Town.
Off the map, it can’t be found.
Didn’t take me long to fit right in.

My neighbor is a vampire.
Up all night at his campfire.
Singing songs of never seeing the sun.

Met an angel with devil horns.
Lost her wings and now she mourns.
I don’t think I’ve seen her smile.

There’s a ghost that lives up the block.
Comes right in, he never knocks.
Says he wishes he could feel my hugs.

There’s a monster under my bed.
Used to live in the woodshed.
Said he never called a place home.

Threw a cookout that weekend.
The ignored, the hurt, they could all attend.
Turns out they just needed a friend
In Devil Town.
The real question is, why was I in devil town?
Jun 2019 · 388
My Beautiful Monster
Cardboard-Jones Jun 2019
Homeward bound, fast asleep,
She doesn’t even know what she’s done.
The quiet fire that rages on inside.
They don’t even know what she’ll become.

They will come with anger and pitchforks
To quell what they created.
Tainted sight, they will twist and ***** with truth
To justify your defeat.

You’re marked, you’re marked for all to see.
But, my sweet, I know it’s not your fault.
Don’t scream, don’t let them see your pain.
Don’t leave them reassured in their assault.
Just sleep for now.
Shh, shh, I’m here.

When they left you alone bleeding out tears,
You were ready to give in.
But I carried you.
I did.
When they left you alone shattering your lungs,
You were convinced of this sin.
But I gave you life.
I did.

We’ll make them fear you.
Jun 2019 · 334
Charm City Favorite
Cardboard-Jones Jun 2019
It’s 12 a.m. Tuesday night
And something in me doesn't feel right.

Guess I was thinking of you, I want to call
Just to hear your voice.

I wanna ask if you had a good day.
I wanna see if everything’s okay.

But I roll over again, I feel dead
And I can’t get out of my head.

I miss you.
I wish you could know that.

How do you like your new zip code?
Is it everything that you were told?
Do you smile and smile?
That’s more your style, I haven’t seen that in a while.
I’m kinda hating everything here.
Don’t think I can handle another year
Of you inside my head,
Just come back to bed
So I can see that smile again.

I miss you.
I wish you could know that
I sat with myself in the middle of the night for awhile
And I’m so stupid
To not see you were the best thing for me by a mile.
And let’s be honest
You’re my favorite thing about this little town.
You’re my favorite thing about me.
Jun 2019 · 168
Infinite Me Part 2
Cardboard-Jones Jun 2019
I am haunted by the dream;
The dream that dreams of me.
The dream where I saw all of me
And all I could ever be.
Although we went our separate ways
A nagging thought stays;
Could it be I have not seen the last of me?

What if one decides
He’d rather have my life?
What if my demise
Will make them feel more alive?

They want to take what I have earned.
Yes, that must be so.
But when they shall stake their claim?
That I do not know.
They’ll come with knives, they’ll come with fire.
They’ll come with guns and rope.
They’ll come with poison, they’ll come with bats.
They’ll come with prayers and hope.

I have become my worst enemy.
Me, me, me….
Which is the real me?
Jun 2019 · 299
Bouquet Of Clumsy Words
Cardboard-Jones Jun 2019
HiHowYouDoing?IJustWannaSayHi
IWasStandingWithMyFriendWhenYouWalk­edBy
AndIHaveToSayYouHaveABeautifulSmile
AmIBeingTooForward?OhLet­MeStartOver
SoIHopeEverythingIsGoingOkay
It’sSoNiceOutButLaterITh­inkIt’sGonnaRain
ButHowThisHeatIsIWouldn’tComplain
ActuallyIt’sPe­rfectDayForAnIceCreamCone
There’sAPlaceThatIKnowThat’sPrettyGood
­100%MilkYou’llSayMmmThat’sForSure
It’sNotFarFromHereMaybeTheNextN­eighborhood
Was it...on like, 5th street?
WellMaybeNotNowButICouldTakeYouSometime
ThatIsIfYou’reNot­BusyAndHaveSomeFreeTime
IfWeCouldExchangeNumbersThatWouldBeSublim­e
ItWouldBeMyTreatOfCourseForGoodEats
I’mSorryITalkFastWhenIGetNe­rvous
AndIApologizeForAnyPossibleDisturbance
ButHonestlyThoughItW­asTotallyWorthIt
OhNoI’mStartingToSweatSorry
TextMeIfYou’reIntere­stedInThatIceCreamByTheWay
I’llLeaveYouAloneNow
Goodbye.
Just a dude mad nervous to talk to a girl
Jun 2019 · 533
The Pale Princess
Cardboard-Jones Jun 2019
The mist quietly, softly, rests on her face
As she walks through the ravaged forest.
It still whispers to her,
Though the whispers fade.
The last of lasts, she rebukes her title.
Knights of the old, braves of the new,
They no longer bear her insignia.
She is but folklore now,
A reminder of tarnished treasure.
Her wayward compass guides her to forgotten crossroads,
Shrouded in darkness and hollow memories.
I wonder why she settles here?
Is it fear?
Is it acceptance?
Will her light bloom once more?
Or is a tempest raging inside her bruised heart?
Jun 2019 · 224
Desire And Shame
Cardboard-Jones Jun 2019
It’s the right time to fall asleep
And remember...everything.
We can start again, I’m so over this…....I wish.

We're so destructive with lack of care.
Douse the fire that we claim we need but instead,
Lie awake, eyes on the wall.
Every night, there is a chance, such an obvious chance
We're making a mistake,
But we denounce our logic.
Lights out, open thighs... ...I won’t regret this.

Get a phone call from our significant’s
Ignore it, and their pain increases.
And we fade into this secret world
That we forged through infidelity.
I recall the sweetest sin you said... ...baby it’s just a kiss.

And now we're changing
The future in my bed sheets,
Leaving a trail of bleeding hearts.
I shoulda burned you out of my mind
A long time ago, but I’m fixed on you
Like an addict….
...I think I’m gonna be sick.
Jun 2019 · 224
The Space In-between Me
Cardboard-Jones Jun 2019
I see me
Ready to face this new world alone.
And I see fear
Accompany the thoughts of the unknown.
The struggle
To discover the strength I had the whole time.
The challenge
To open my eyes when I’ve been so blind.
I see me,
And all of the mistakes I’ll ever make.
I feel it,
The pain of holding on to that regret.
It’s daunting
To think that I would never catch a break.
But I swear it,
These are times you don’t want to forget.

Reach out with a brave shout
Through the space in-between me.
The sunlight on the skyline,
You’ll make it, guaranteed.

I’ll answer the question that burns like midnight oil.
Am I the flower or am I the soil?
I hope this message finds me well.
You’ll be alright.
Your faults are not the end of me.
You ever wanna talk to your younger self and say you'll be ok?
May 2019 · 300
Let Me In
Cardboard-Jones May 2019
If you were me,
Would you still be
Obsessed with the damage?
Am I to blame?
Maybe we’re the same;
Wanderers that can’t feel.

I hear you breathe.
You’re just out of reach.
Walk through me and I vanish.
Am I a fool?
Lingering beyond my time, waiting for a sign.
I cannot leave.

I’ll wait for you
To fall asleep.
Make it easier for us both.
You’re not alone, you’ll never be.
I’ll be here,
To share a dream.
To share your thoughts.
To share you.
Don’t say a prayer,
Just let me in….
I was really thinking from a ghost perspective of not wanting to leave a loved one
May 2019 · 237
A Tale Of Two Wolves
Cardboard-Jones May 2019
A man was walking a path
Searching for himself
When he came across two wolves.

One wolf was peaceful,
Bringing tranquility and love.
The other wolf was chaotic,
Bringing distress and sorrow.

The wolves were hungry
And looked to the man for nourishment.
The man had a choice to make.
Feeding the peaceful wolf
Would starve the chaotic wolf,
Rendering the peaceful wolf with no purpose.
Feeding the chaotic wolf
Would make it stronger,
Effectively putting peace in danger.

The man took bread from his satchel
And broke the loaf in half,
Feeding both wolves.
Though the wolves did not look pleased,
They accepted the offering.

The man sat with the wolves as they ate.
Both peace and chaos sat together.
As the man sat with the wolves,
Eating in perfect harmony
He found himself.
May 2019 · 331
Tie Dye Harlequin
Cardboard-Jones May 2019
The autumn wood have the winters brow
And the tree line holds me captive.
I run through the pleasantries but I know I cannot escape.
The gray shaded outline is filled in with a mixture of colour,
Melting into one bowl,
Dripping from the leaves.

I am ambushed by the emotions of my childhood.
Emotions long forgotten.
At least attempted.
The promise of tomorrow lingering on my lip,
Quivering and curious.

She comes out from the trees that imprison me.
Beauty flawless and without regret.
Standing with her feet bare
She says not a word, not a word shall be said.
And I shall keep my words.

She wears a smile with saddened eyes.
A simple oxymoron,
Yet the most challenging to understand.
Off her face the mask would fall.
Suppose she is tired of the role.
The gray shadows of the woods stalk her no more,
And the color once belonged has returned to her skin.

As I don the mask all I can do is wonder
If I shall see these woods once more.
May 2019 · 276
Caesar The Immortal
Cardboard-Jones May 2019
One man who brought the world to one city
The center of their universe
The sky rains rose petals
The streets echo his name with thunderous roar and applaud
The king of a long line of kings
Raises his head above his ego
Statues created to honor his marvel to stand against time
Love and adoration finds him
From the most insignificant peasant
To the most honorable politician
One emperor, one king, above them all
He would be remembered far past his passing

One man in Rome had a different voice
One man hired by the immortal himself
One man to do the job behind the curtain
He stands behind his boastful aura
Behind the fabled greatness
Whenever someone gave him love
Whenever someone praised his name
Whenever someone kissed his hand
There was this man to remind him
Whenever someone blessed his life
Whenever someone sacrificed in his name
Whenever someone idolizes him with infamous intent
There is this man
A loyal servant to Rome and her bounty
To whisper in the modest King's ear

"You are just a man. You are just a man."
May 2019 · 281
Safe & Home
Cardboard-Jones May 2019
Safe and sound back home again,
Let the fire burn bright.
Lost and found back home again,
Sing our stories all night.

So long the road for weary toes.
Rest your bones at home again.
We revere the summer’s eve,
O, the reverie.

Ran away at seventeen,
With your high school sweetheart.
Regretful head and grateful bed,
Now the family tree starts.

Golden ticket in your hand,
Given keys to your haven.
Traded that for an M16
To fight for your nation.

You set sail to find yourself
Somewhere in the yonder.
Got more questions than answers,
But was your time squandered?

Well the road is long for weary toes
Only to come home again.
Have some cheer and summer beer,
Enjoy the reverie.
May 2019 · 154
She Would Never Say
Cardboard-Jones May 2019
Running through the mud, playing games outside,
It must have been summer ‘95.
Everything would change when her dad arrived,
And for the first time I saw fear in someone’s eyes.
She would never say.
She would never say.

Hiding in my bedroom, hiding from what’s true
On that autumn evening 2002.
“How come your mom’s face is always black and blue?”
She just made up lies like she never knew.
She would never say.
She would never say.

Sitting in the driveway, tears in her eyes,
It’s the end of school, 2005.
“We could run away, leave it all behind.”
But she swallowed her tears and went back inside.
She would never say.
She would never say.

Reunited again, and she swears she’s fine
At the grocery store 2009.
She gave up hope for a healthy life.
Saw the fear replaced by the guilt inside.
She would never say.
She would never say.
May 2019 · 245
Tomorrow Is My Year
Cardboard-Jones May 2019
Couple miles from my new life,
Thousands from my home.
Forced to rely on all I know
But all I know is a joke.
I can hear my mom say “Son you can’t give up”
As I’m pulling over because I might just throw up.
So I grit my teeth, dust off my sleeves,
I’m feeling hopeless, I may need to eat.
All my friends keep texting “When will you be home?”
Man I don’t know.
I’ll figure that out tomorrow.

Oh what an awkward life I’ve made.
A future forged by silly dreams and a fairy tale masquerade.
Trying to survive on my trade,
Armed with fear and an education I probably overpaid.
Every week I’m in a different state.
State of mind and through state lines, there’s friends at every gate.
But I don’t want to wait.
Say man, I’ll see you in New York.
Ok, I’ll meet you in Austin.
Oh yeah, I see you in Charlotte.
Ok, let’s meet up in Boston.

Tomorrow is my year, oh,
I’d shout out but I’m waiting for
Anxiety to quiet down inside me.
But I’ll wait and see,
With some luck I won’t **** this up
Because I’ll be home this week.
May 2019 · 352
Golden Town
Cardboard-Jones May 2019
While on my way to Golden Town
To save the weary dead,
I saw a man in tattered clothes
Rubbing his wounded head.
I offered him assistance,
I helped him to his feet.
Despite my kindly gesture
He was hesitant to speak.

“Good sir,” I asked, “are you alright?”
The stranger did not respond.
Though he was looking right at me,
I swear his eyes looked beyond.
“I’m headed down to Golden Town,
To save the weary dead.”
I expected a joyful reaction,
But was greeted with apathy instead.

He scoffed, and laughed, at my endeavor,
Placing his hand on his hip.
“You’re wasting your time,” he finally said,
“I’m saving you a trip.
That Golden Town is rotten to its core,
Filled with wretched disease.
I, like you, went to rescue the lot,
Only to get cut at my knees.”

He began to walk to where I came,
Expressionless with his stride.
Before he left, his last words to me were
“You won’t come out there alive.”

I gazed upon the Golden Town,
Conflicted by the light.
How could a town be so crooked and dark
When the walls shine so bright?
Cardboard-Jones Apr 2019
Calling me.
Leaving me messages saying how you’re sorry.
Voice mailbox is full, it’s exhausting.

Texting me.
Repeating feelings you already expressed.
At this point, I don’t know what you expect.

Changes.
You swear you’ve been going through some changes.
You wanna know what I find strange is?
You were better the way you were.
But you wanted to be somebody.
Made me think I was nobody.
Hooking up with girls at parties.
Only cared when I was departing.
Now I’m becoming somebody.
Now you wanna love my body.
But you shouldn't love nobody.
‘Cause you’re just gonna hurt somebody.

It’s not fair, don’t make me say this.
Don’t try to make me reminisce.
We can’t go back to fish and chips.
We can’t get back that rooftop kiss.

You don’t get it, you don’t get it.
This dream you have of us, forget it.
I’m someone new, someone new.
And you’re just someone that I knew.
Apr 2019 · 356
Charm City: Apology
Cardboard-Jones Apr 2019
I hope you accept my apology.
I know it’s hard to trust me.
I told myself that I would keep my cool
But I know I’ve just been a fool.
Ashamed of what I’ve turned into.
Though you’ve forgotten me,
I’m missing you.
Do you believe that we can start again?
Make amends?
To where we began?

Ever since you left I wondered
What could I have changed to keep you from running off?
What could I have said to prevent you from becoming lost?
What is it I did to make me just another afterthought?
You wanted something new?
I can be somebody new.
Oh, but you changed your zip code.
Out in Philly in the cold.
That part of me is forever closed.
Charm City’s not the same without you,
I need you back home.
Please just pick up your phone.
Apr 2019 · 279
The "I" Inside
Cardboard-Jones Apr 2019
It was random, one evening
It just came for all the people.
For the neighbors and my friends.
My loved ones didn’t stand a chance.

It was growling, it was howling.
In the dark I knew it was prowling.
Born on a full moon.
It’s here for all our doom.

There’s no warning, or a reason.
It must be killing season.
You can run and try to hide
But it hears you breathing.

Then it showed up like a whisper.
I saw the monster clearer.
I began to get the shivers
As this monster looked familiar.

It’s consuming, getting bigger.
No sign it’ll reconsider.
This could be the end of days
‘Cause nobody’s safe.

And no matter how loud I try to scream
The monster never came for me.
Apr 2019 · 353
Moonwalker
Cardboard-Jones Apr 2019
I gaze upon the cosmic void,
Alone and tired from my journey across the frontier.
I pick my feet up, and drift across the surface.
And all I’m surrounded by is silence.

I reach my hands up towards the stars,
Trying to catch a passing comet by its tail.
Flagging down UFO’s to see if I can catch a ride
Along this space highway to anywhere.

I often think of coming home.
I wonder what I’d look like after all this time?
Would I be familiar, or would you greet me as a stranger?
And all I could think to say is sorry.

I see the hues of where you are.
The planet looks like a giant marble with an azure aura.
I need to say goodbye, and I wish you were coming.
But I desire to float on.
Float on….
Mar 2019 · 384
Brand New Me
Cardboard-Jones Mar 2019
I know what you’ll say.
“You’re making the same mistakes.”
But the feeling is different now.
My head is safe on the ground.
Emotions I would ignore,
I don’t ignore anymore.
Yeah, yeah, I can see the signs
But I promise that I’ll be fine.
You don’t have to agree,
But can you for once trust me?

I’m a brand new version
(You’re making the same mistakes)
I know, this time, that it’s love.
(Slow down for a bit and wait)
A brand new vision
(It actually looks the same)
I got a good feeling this time.
(You’re in way over your head)
(Hanging on by a thread)
(Maybe just think instead)
(Don’t rush where fools like to tread)
I know what I’m doing.
(Turn back before before you’re misled)

She’s looking right in my eyes,
I know that this feels right.
You say that there’s more to this.
Why can’t it be black and white?
She isn’t like the rest.
(I would highly contest)
I think it’s worth a try.
No way this could go awry.
(She’ll leave you high and dry)
Why can’t you just trust me this time?

I’m a brand new person.
(It sure doesn’t seem that way)
I finally figured it out.
(Just listen to what I say)
She’s my new direction,
(She’ll lead you back to regrets)
I’m giving her all I have left.
(This is not a good bet)
But this is worth the fight.
(You can’t find yourself inside of someone…)
Stop talking, it’s the only option I have left.
Everything else has been addressed.
I’ve come a long way, I’ve progressed.
(You can’t find yourself inside of someone else)

But….why not?
The internal struggle of trying to convince yourself you're over your mistakes, when you aren't.
Mar 2019 · 366
Likes & Shares
Cardboard-Jones Mar 2019
She logs on to see if she's been trending,
Do anything to make it to the top.
Addicted to the glamour and attention,
Can’t imagine why she'd ever stop.

The reflection in the mirror is confusing
‘Cause she can barely recognize herself.
She needs the perfect lighting and a filter.
She wants to live the life of someone else.

She just changed her hair and it looks perfect.
Upload with a caption for her fans.
Gotta take a picture of her dinner
‘Cause she knows she’s gotta feed the ‘gram.

She’ll never be sober, long after it’s over.
The feeling she gets, it gets her so high.
The love that she’s chasing will never embrace her.
Even if it’s not there, she’s still gotta try.
And she’ll never face it, she’ll want to replace it.
But every night when she sleeps, she’ll ask herself why.
Mar 2019 · 717
We're Just Pioneers
Cardboard-Jones Mar 2019
Yet again I zone out on these back streets
Guided by the instinct
Of my former self.
I can see the past now,
Pretentiously smiling back.

There’s things I can’t escape,
But everything else, I just ran.
My eyes were focused on the clouds.
I can remember seeing the places that I’ve never been
For the first time
And the last time.

I was swinging for the moon.
I knew I would see it soon.
Did I oversleep? Did I overdream?
It still thinks about me to this day.

The past is something I wanna eject from my brain.
Then lock it in a box and never ever see it again.
But the past still thinks of me to this day.

I was swinging for Mars
Or at the very least, the stars.
Couldn’t hesitate, no time to delay.
I’m still trying to find the best way.
But I think back to in that classroom asking myself why.
Why can’t I just walk away?

It still thinks about my everyday.
I still think about it to this day.
Feb 2019 · 204
Midnight Kids
Cardboard-Jones Feb 2019
As you and I melt away
I can’t let go
Of everything that I cannot control.
Who am I to be?
Who am I supposed to be now?
When we collide, is it true?
We’re stuck in time
Of everything that I cannot control.
Who am I to you?
Who am I to you now?

You tell me
Fairy tales.
All of this means nothing
When you and I melt away.
I’m holding tight
To everything that I’m afraid to know.
It’s part of me.
It’s part of you now.
The years that passed never settled in.
You kiss my lips
And I don’t understand your affection
Of who I am,
Of who I am now.

I stay grounded
When you look to the sky.
You wanna fly, you wanna fly.
I guess that I
Will watch you fly away in your new light.
Leave me behind under the weight of time.
And you sing of dreams, and fairy tales.
I don’t fit in those details.
You wanna know who’s the boy underneath?
Well so do I.
So do I.
Feb 2019 · 389
Neo Art
Cardboard-Jones Feb 2019
This piece speaks with subtle attitude.
Its whispers echo over the crowded gallery
Yet only I can hear.

My eyes are fixated on its delicate details,
Tracing every stroke of the brush.
My sight is paralyzed.

The colors move and swirl,
Caught in a maelstrom of creativity.
The hues melt off the canvas,
Bleed down the wall,
Pool at the bottom,
Mixing but not blending,
And all I can do is watch.

Slowly the others follow suit,
Bleeding down the walls in a patient rush,
Stretching across the floor
So desperate and calm
Until It caresses my shoe.

It climbs my leg, rising and rising,
Staining my pants and skin.
It rises and rises still,
An orchestra of color making permanent residence.
I am terrified yet my breathing is slow,
Watching the details form.

Engulfed by color I turn to see
All the masses staring at me.
Speaking to one another with subtle attitude,
Whispers echo the crowded gallery,
Their eyes fixated on the delicate details,
Tracing every line,
Paralyzed.

My fear was met with thunderous applause.
Feb 2019 · 396
City Of Sisterly Love
Cardboard-Jones Feb 2019
Found herself sitting in LOVE Park
Trying to find her spark.
She put Charm City in her rear view.
Her friends tell her she’s been long overdue.
New tattoo, hair do, and Dior shoes.
If you wanna be brand new you gotta look brand new.
No more reminiscing over mistakes and headaches.
The world is hers to take.
It’s ladies night and they’re hitting the town.
It’s time to act like queens and take their crown.
Smile for the future, ******* to the past.
She started looking forward to the forecast.

She just came to listen to the band.
The DJ shouted “Get on up and dance.”
Her friends grabbed her by the hand,
And told her “**** it, do it for the ‘gram.”

Filtered selfies and a ***** with some cran,
She knew her happiness was in high demand.
Go M.I.A in MIA,
Or catch a flight to LA,
Hit the coast to Monterey,
Her new life is underway.
Can’t wait around to be a wife,
She just wants to find her light.
She just wants to feel alive.
She used to survive, now she wants to thrive.
Take each moment in stride,
Warming up in her sunshine.
So she takes another pic,
Tags her friends real quick,
Put her smile on real thick,
Her old shell is fading,
Her old shell is fading….
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