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Ian Robinson Jan 17
Those not afraid
Are the ones most bound
To fall
Straight to the ground
And the ones who are
enjoy the tranquility
of falling
You’re afraid of heights and I of depth
The fear of not having anything to fall back onto
Or the fear of not having something to stand on no matter how wreck-less you allow your mistakes to be
Depth goes in all dimensions, doesn’t it?

It doesn’t stop at deep dark waters
It continues its way through my veins
Through baseless strength and unstable reasons
The look of darkness that finishes into nothingness

It stops at undoubting resilience which I cannot reach

I still like looking into it though, it thrills me
A second, a push and it’ll take me to that resilience or into nothingness
But it scares you, only because it comes from a height
It makes your stomach turn and hands weak
Not of what’s inside of that but of what it takes to get there

It was sometime between 11:30 pm and midnight

You’re afraid of heights and I of depth
You know, the one that stops at undoubting resilience
One which I cannot reach
It makes me sick and my chest feels hollow
My fingers look for grip
And my legs usually shake

But last night I wasn’t afraid
When you pulled my hand back
as I leaned against the edge of the wall above Thames
There was this radiance in your eyes
Brown, which people don’t talk about enough when they exemplify the beauty of eyes

Brown, the depth of which I hadn’t faced before
But I refused to be afraid of
Uncertain if the depth grew with my fingers shaking or your stomach turning

Your brown
Of how its succumbed with restlessness when you’re drunk
Of concern and constant pressure of not losing control of your shield
But still so pure
The hue which deepens when you talk about the person you love
Repeatedly, because you find words insufficient
And of how sometimes you leave traces to the problems you never speak about
The colour that grows deeper the more you look into it
The colour that nurtures the light of the laughter of the people you care about

The brown that falls asleep in complete innocence
Letting down all your guard during so
Slowly, part by part
The one which looks at me with sub-consciousness when your arms pull me in
The gradient that tries to make sure I have company till I pass out
The depth of which I don’t know if I’m scared of

2 hours later it was almost 2 am, and

You’re afraid of heights and I of depth
You know, the one that stops at undoubting resilience
But last night I think I wasn’t afraid
There was this radiance in your eyes
Radiance bright enough to show me the lighter side of depth

It grew brighter with every acceptance of your feelings
And darker with the realization of so
A shade darker every time I tried to draw meaning out of it
Dark to the hue of your afternoon tiredness
As you gently traced delicate lines with your fingers on my back
And softly locked our bodies together, your breath warming my neck
To no fall, nor any height
No stomach turns or shaky legs

It’s way past dawn almost 9am now,
My sleep breaks to realizations

You’re still afraid of heights and I of depth
But last night your brown carried me away
I was still afraid of depths as much as you were of heights
It’s just that your brown was almost a glorified one
One that gently looked at me with assurance

Your brown
Brown, which people don’t talk about enough when they exemplify the beauty of eyes
The brown that I looked into as the sunlight illuminated its light
Your morning brown
Your lightest brown
Which hardly lasted a minute
The best hue, gradient and gold that it could turn to be
Looking around with a blur
Only until it grows back to its darkest shade,
Deeper than the waters last night
Putting your guard back on

It’s way past dawn almost 9am now
My sleep breaks to realizations
You’re still afraid of heights, and I of depth
I’d say you know the drill by now
But this morning, the branches of your umber grew back onto me
blackbox Dec 2018
It’s not the mountains you climb that will matter in the end.
It’s not the heights you reach that will matter in the end.
It’s not the hurdles you cross that will matter in the end.
What’ll matter, my love, is the real happiness within and around you.
21.12.18
lifeonLSD Nov 2018
———
begrijpend lezen
met ogen dicht
———
als braille op je huid
streel ik je
verhalen tot het geluid

je lippen verlaat
en verraad
wat men niet kan zeggen

het zal me vertellen
zonder spraak
vloeiend op de vibraties
in de lucht

zuchtend van geluk en zaligheid
verspreiden de teksten
naar plekken

die alleen de tong bereiken

als muziek
verdovend spelen met tonen
klimmend in hoogtes

waar octaven
worden gehaald in
namen

tot weer terug beneden
zachtjes bevend
schreeuwend
dalen naar aarde

je hete adem tegen mijn oor
legt me uit

dat het woord niet beschrijft
*** eenheid voelt

dat de sterren stralen in liefde

de puurheid
niet omschrijft

dat alleen door het ervaren
van kosmische frequenties
je pas begrijpt

wat het gefluister is
dat achter blijft hangen

als oeroude poezie
omgetoverd in universele talen
met een orgastisch bereik
———
gesproken in tijd
gedeeld met jou
———
******* heights
Andrew Oct 2018
Compulsion for motion overgrown
I experienced an ocean overload
After my warm emotions overflowed
And I was caught in their undertow
I thought of the spiel
Telling you how I feel
And how eyes of steel
Could rebuke the deal

That night I slept
And nightmare wept
As my conscience crept
From the depths

A group of faceless tourists and I
Saw a building shooting into the sky
I have no idea why
We decided to climb
I’m afraid to go high
But my compulsory mind
Determines the storyline

Going up flights
Afraid of heights
Where vertigo sights
Make me turn white
I feel the building swaying
But everyone else is staying
So I’m afraid of relaying
The reasons I’m praying

Tired of my doubting
The others went on without me
Because I am grasping the floor
Terrified to my core
Clinging the patterned rug
Wishing to be safe and snug
For at this humbling height
The building moves with might
Like a Kraken kite
There’s no way to fight
My high strung plight
Of skyscraper fright

Attempting to relieve me
An elevator retrieves me
As I lie there wheezing
I go to the ceiling
With the queasy feeling
That my brain is peeling
In need of grounded healing

The doors open to a staircase
Leading up to the scare place
I must dare to face
To bear the race
Of an empty chase
To witness beauty
That never knew me
Before it’s erased

My appropriate apprehension
Was all I would mention
Creating tension
With the others already there
I told them I wouldn’t dare
They said no fair
And grow a pair
But I didn’t care
I escaped the lair
Going back to floor level
Completely disheveled
Knowing if I’d been divinely dutiful
I could’ve seen something beautiful

I didn’t finish the job
So my vision is flawed
That my mission from God
Will leave me carelessly clawed

When I awoke I began a lonely cry
At my dream version of Vanilla Sky
Telling me I don’t try
Like a feeble admission
Of my fetal position
I use to hide from light
Creating a phobia night
Trying to match your height
LanceSkiies Oct 2018
Time goes on and I'm back again
I said I'd be back again
I Told You
I Told You
*****, I Told You
I'd be the man
And I'm the man

And you?
You're stagnant like a lake
Once a man now a BOY
And I'm the one that

360ed my life into paradise
While you 180ed back to poverty
Foolish pride
You died for yours
While I swallowed mine
And it's all worthwhile

Now I'm back
Drop top, windows down
Cruising pass the ends
Guess who's hugging the block?
YOU
I wave without a second glance
Cause that's the last you'll see of me
But you'll hear of me conquering the world like Cesar.

LanceSkiies
It is what it is.
Cherisse May Oct 2018
i'm deathly afraid
of falling, gravity embracing me,
and continuously feeling adrenaline
coursing through my veins.

i'm deathly afraid
of falling, crashing hard,
my feelings all placed in one bet,
risking it all as i keep falling.

i'm deathly afraid
of heights, the wind blowing,
my legs shaking, my body unsteady,
the ground seemingly a thousand miles below.

but what if
i jump off
to, as they say,
'conquer my fears'?
i'm falling, crashing, and i'm not quite sure where i'm landing.

my poems have lost the feeling i once used to pour out.

now all i have is my self, and it's getting too hard.
Marsha Oct 2018
smooching cotton clouds
soars higher as burners roar
reaching wondrous heights

— Marsh
A haiku...
The tide of time did not touch him favourably,
He suddenly lost his youth and exuberance;
He could now only wait and only wait
For his dreams to unwind and spoil him
All the more extravagantly,
He could seek his past to guide him;
He was alone, he said.

He did not forget the sunshine and the moonlight
And the delight he shared with others
But he could not share his pain,
He had no words to describe that plight,
And he did not let his strings of thought float or splay
As he tested the wind and its direction;
He was rudderless, he said.

He had studied his mind,
He was aware of its apparent movements or states
As the painful and non-painful moods;
That could not be wished away.
All he needed was a direction to find his way,
He had waited for the inner light to burn brightly;
He can scale heights, he said.
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