In between city buildings Streets filled with crowded bodies, Loneliness fills my ears like the high pitched frequency of silence. I sit in my car staring at the landscape of apartments hovering one on top of the other
Desolate like a desert of cement.
My body thirsts for contact. My heart for meaning.
I remember my dreams of a holy place, a library where I ran, just a little boy with other boys, with a great stained glass window filling up the space on the pointed ceiling above the sacred text that left me perplexed and mouthing a few syllables when I could understand, and wishing to feel the soft cloth on my head, over a short haircut that I didn't have.
I can't truly say if it was a dream, but I remember walking outside into the desert with those little boys, feeling jealous of their kippahs, and eventually we stopped at what I thought might be like a stream, but was only a canal in the wasteland. The tumbleweeds whispered and rattled, but no snakes slid out of them with a tail that rattled quite the same.
I grew up though, far away now, with the heavy weight of knowledge on my back and the feeling of sweat on my brow. I have heard a lot, and that soundless world where I spent all of my time looking and none of my time listening is gone. I listen and I look now, and I tell a girl about my observations while she marvels and tells me what to do with them, but there is nothing much to become when despite my ambition I hold myself back with the most unholy things.
I need to see the looming sky A wide, gasping chasm of color and power Cold and unfeeling Hot and passionate Black fading into red into blue
I need to feel the burning air Arid and biting on my eyelids ******* the moisture from my skin And the toxins from my heart Engulfing me like the embrace of a captor
I need to see the silhouette of mountains On the striking horizon, eclipsing the void To gasp in the thin and desperate air Cacti that claw at the dusty wind, and Beg for nothing in the kingdom of bones
next to the totem I'm standing make a square make numbers and runners ran down your sweet ice and I'm standing with a totem make square number of knowledge of the way
red stripes and green wild huge sharp eyes big long bright tongue like my late friend like a friend of my past winters oh I will never see him again
squares like circle circles like rhombuses oh yeah i know what a circle is i know what is square and know what is rhombus red and green yellow colors i know i'm near orange desert and no this is my bag of light