It's not you
    I promise
What I say is true
      He never deserved
           You

     It's not your fault
           I know for a fact
      Trust me
             You are better
          Than a boy like that

It's for the best
       Please,
    Believe me
          He'll do it to the next girl
       And the next
            And next
      You'll find your one
          In this world

        It's time to breathe
             Have faith in what
          I'm saying to you
      This might just be
                Poetry
          But I was cheated on too

It's time to believe
      You're worth more than
   You can see
           No more tears, please
      He's not worth your pain
             You're gorgeous
       And you're NOT to blame

     It's for the best,
              It's not you
          Please,
    Just Breathe.
          Believe me,
  Cause I've made it through.
         I know,
      What I say is true.
             Cause
         **I was cheated on too.

The perfect friend has flaws
And he knows all of mine
They laugh, joke and flatter,
Leaving your worries behind
He's sweet, shows he really cares
Even when there's none, he makes the time

The perfect friend is always honest
Even when you don't want him to be
You'll know they want what's best for you
Especially when it's really hard to believe
He'll remember the stories you've shared
And be there to tell you it's time to just 'breathe'

The perfect friend has his own demons
And so many things to worry about
Although, you're there to help him through
They still have time, to lift you off the ground
Hold each other up, day after day, resilient
Sensing the laughter, when there isn't a sound

The perfect friend is beautiful inside
The perfect friend has a heart of gold
This perfect friend is here to stay
He's truly tried and touched my soul
My perfect friend is perfection indeed
But this perfect friend is mine, so get your own!







They say there's no such thing
             as "perfect".
Yet,
    here I write,
          with solid proof,
       That anything is possible
I've found the perfect friend,
              It's true.

I wanna be your medicine
               To take away your pain
         I need you to take me regularly
To be swallowed whole by you
                              Daily
                  I want you to feel
  That you'd die without me
          And never leaving my side is
     Necessary

          I wanna be your cigarettes
                          To burn for you
     I want you addicted to me
In your mouth constantly
                   I want you to inhale me.
         Every time you
                     Breathe

         I wanna be your music
                     Your drugs
   Your heart and soul
           Your liver and your lungs
I want you to NEED me
             I need to feel that feeling
   The feeling that I'm
                Not just something
                            But everything



Because,
For far too long,
I've felt like nothing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  Remembering
The
      Beginning
              Is
      Necessary
         To
             Heal
       From
                  The
       Ending
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm
   Faster
      Than
         I
            Look,
               But
                  I'm
                     Not
                        So
                           Bold.

I'm
     NEVER
  Gonna
          Allow

    Men
           To
      Put

              Me
     D
         O
           W
         N

*Again

Oh, how I love to
            light you up
       Watch you slowly burn
            Writhing
       between my finger
I know my love for you
         is slowly killing me
     But I enjoy watching you suffer
                    Filling my lungs
             Watching the smoky
      Leftovers of your soul
Float into the air
         I breathe you in so deeply
               Deep inside me
     Then slowly let you out
             Over and Over
        I created you
              I've made you who you are
Then I devour you
        Oh, how I love the taste of you
     The scent of you
                The fact that you're bad for me
         Just makes you all the more enticing
       Like life and everything
                 If you were good for me
          You wouldn't be so **addicting

I realize

       Now

    You're

The Reason

        I've

     Been

  *Holding
          Back

Dear The Creep That Loved You:

You were the first one to like the first poem I ever posted,
For that alone, I could've fallen in love
But then I started to read all YOUR poetry
And I just couldn't get enough!
Of course, your name really caught my eye too
A creep and a girl that LoveD you
Everyone can see
Our collaboration was meant to be


"You're an unnecessary part of the story."

Well, isn't that just the truest 7 words ever written,
Once I read that, I became completely smitten.
These "past tense" men in our lives...
Well, seriously, for hurting you, they deserve to die.


"Wake up in the middle of the night
for inspiration,
new ideas,
thoughts waiting to be poured onto paper."

Well, this perfectly described me to a tee
I'm Blessed to have found you here on Hello Poetry, seriously... All your words resonate deep within me
I'm totally obsessed with you, can't you see?


"You're the villain in this story,
the only thing keeping me from falling asleep,
but driving me insane with anticipation as well"

Wow
This just makes me think of bad boys,
How all us good girls just can't help but fall
We know they're no good for us
But sometimes, were naive, we just want it all...


"I sit here in tomorrow,
as you lay there in yesterday."

Sometimes, the people who don't wanna move forward
Just need to be left in the past,
Us girls just have no time for games
We need determination, we need something to last.


I could continue on, quoting all your poetry,
But you know all your lines already
What you may not understand yet, is what every word means to me.
How every stanza hits me so deeply
How every note is written so sweetly
How every title draws me in so stalkerishly
I just hope you understand that every letter you type
Reverberates deep in the core of me
And that I'm totally in love with you
Almost obsessively.

*Dear The Creep That Loved You:
Please, say you're in love with me too?

Poetry is the voice chattering in my head...
Never lets up... It is the voice for when I'm afraid...
Conjured up from deep looping thoughts...
Vented out through written words when the voice could not.
Necessity forged by the mind and heart.
Feelings and emotions that the core wouldn't carelessly discard.
Poetry is an outlet of sorts, tentatively I can afford.
In this realm, the pen be my sword.
Poetry is everything... Beauty spanning multiple universes...
All we do is try to have it harnessed and channelled into individual artful verses...


An outlet, escape, my hole in the wall,
where I can hide from the Hell in my heart.
You're learning to walk, I'm just trying to crawl
beneath the flak; as it once tore me apart.
I've got my demons, how about you?
Faceless legions strung through my soul;
with ink and paper, they often bleed through
From lines and verses, I regain some control.
So, if you're asking me what poetry means
I won't say much, but I'll show you my scars.
Words and rhymes slash stitches and seams,
but in my unraveling, I see shooting stars.


My escape from the world
A distraction from myself
Instead of a mark on my body
I place a mark upon paper
I watch the ink flow from the pen
Happy that it's black
And not red
It bleeds into the crinkled paper
Mapping out the story
The story of my life so far
I don't think
I just write
Emptying my mind
My messed up mind
But the mess will never truly be gone
Just temporary relief
This is my relief


Poetry doesn't mean something,
Poetry is telling somebody who knows the truth, a lie and making them believe you anyways.


The air I breathe, the life I lead, everything I believe, poetry
The truest, permanent written form, at its finest
Even if it doesn't rhyme, every word is still the dearest
It's my relief from anxiety, my calm when I'm panicking
It's a sight for sore eyes when I wake up with a hangover and a headache
The only way I can express myself, show my deepest heartache
The only happiness I have when I'm depressed, my only friend when I'm lonely
My poetry and yours, day in and day out, is like oxygen to me
I can't breathe without poetry


A poet sees rivers where veins
run, caged birds where hearts
beat against ribs, stellar explo-
sions in place of emotion.
To be a poet means to breathe
through your eyes, to find life
in the weeds suffocating your
lungs, to build an ocean
of metaphors and memories,
never knowing which is which.


Poetry is art in itself
It is our passion that is slowly dying out throughout humanity
Because humanity is slowly forgetting what makes us human
What we survive on and die for everyday
But not us poets...
Our poetry is the chain to what we are
What we fought for all these years
What we die for trying to protect
For poetry is our mortality
Poetry is our life.

Passionate kisses, touching, arousing, pleasing,
Leaving a trail of sensations, covering
Every inch of my body, finally being
Adored by your mouth, watching you
Sweat and starting to writhe, the pleasure is
Even more than I thought possible, ever.

From moments like that, to moments like these,
Usually, I'm not that much of a tease, please...
Come on, get a little closer, wrap me up in you,
Kick off the **** covers, I really wanna move

Moments are to be savored, with a sweet ****** thrill,
E**ven after I'm devoured, I want so much more, still....

Thank God*

        For

     *Humility,

             without
                    it

            I would
        be

             Proud.

Sometimes

       All of this

           Sanity

   Just makes

            Me

       Go **Insane

You don't really wanna know the truth,
Do you?
I'm scared of what you might see,
Or that you just won't believe...
I think I'll try this new thing called
Honesty
Granted, it's not really new to me
I'm all for telling everyone else the truth
But I need to be honest with myself
There's just certain things I don't wanna believe
If everyone else can see,
Then I'm really gonna try for you
I guess what they say is true...
"The Truth Will Set You Free"

Still fresh
    with that "popping" sound
Not yet throwing
     that dreaded "L" word around
   Starting to fall
         but having fun going down
        
First taste,
     a different kind of feeling
Going slow
          not yet hoping
or dreading
      Just beginning to notice all
           the little things
  Too soon for deeper meanings

      It's all still so new to me
but just recently...
         I had a glimpse of chivalry,
    opening doors and carrying bags
      Actual, honest to goodness, decency!
        Very pleasantly
             surprising....

Well now,
I seen you got that look in your eyes
I know you saw right through my disguise
This front, this mask I wear
Trying to tell everyone
"Beware"

Yeah sweet,
I see your hidden side,
That you've been trying to hide,
But please, just be fair,
I'm different I really do
Care

So...  
You've seen what's been hidden
Underneath the paint on my face
I guess I'll have to apply a layer again
Can't let anyone touch my grace
I like being a mystery
Trapped in a
Haze

And...
There you are, out of my view
After I had a glimpse of the real you
Now I won't be put off
Or easy to faze
My life's complex
So I love a
Maze

It's true,
I do enjoy a chase
Sometimes, getting caught
Just ruins the game
So, as I look over my shoulder
I begin to
Wonder

I see...  
I'll  show you respect, admiration and grace,
I'll  continue to follow  but slow up my pace.
I still have my wits, but that's a wonder,
Considering it's your spell that I'm
Under

Do you now...
You know that I run for a reason?
I hide my inner light,
Cause I'm someone no one believes in
This life has been hard
And I'm the one dealing the cards
But I know now, I'm not the
Queen

Ah,
Unbelieved in is what you say?
I see it from another way,
You deal me the cards, and I pocket the hearts,
And you had it planned from the start,
You outplayed me, my trickster queen,
As we exit arm in arm as our final
**Scene

~
      
           If
            I
        Could
         Find
           The
            Rhymes...
    Would
         You
             Be
                Mine?

~

Do any of y'all really know me?
Can you see who I am from my poetry?
If your answer is yes, you're wrong
Even I don't know where I belong
When people ask who I am
I say I'm 26, a mother, a poet,
I basically just read my bio
But you've all read that too
Does that mean you really know?
A friend told me lately
To stop being so humble about my poetry
I don't like to come off sounding cocky
He says I'm **** good at what I do
But not every poem is about you
Not every word is always true
Sometimes, they're just words written in ink
To give you an idea, to really make you think....  
But my poetry doesn't define me
Doesn't show you who I am inside
Sure, you've read about my heartaches
And all the nights I've cried
But nothing I write,
Can show you the inner workings of my mind
So, please don't think you really know me
Based solely on all my posted poetry
Because, to be honest, I'm not even sure who I am
And I know me, better than all of you
But please continue to read and comment
Because I'd love to know the truth
About what you all really think of me
Honestly, y'all have really helped me through

LOVE
       is
         Like
A
       W
          A
             T
           E
         R
       F
         A
            L
          L

       The longer
          It is
      The harder
         It crashes

      The stronger
         It is
            The
               Faster it
          F
            A
          L
             L
                 S

        The *deeper
          It is
            The *longer
        It takes
             To
            *Get
          Out

Unsure
Not feeling so sure
Skeptical
Feeling insecure
Bashful
Completely intimidated
Fearful
Absolutely trepid
Doubtful
Unconfident and uncertain
Cowardly
Disbelieving
Shy and coy
Hesitant
Incredulous
Questioning everything
Dubious
Scared to death
Timorous
Feeling so unsure


But will I take the risk?

*Sure...

Bye bye Boy, I'm done with regret
I know we haven't even met
But I'm turning a new leaf
And you best believe
This is gonna be a brand new beginning
A new way to experience my poetry

Hello Girl, hey, where you goin?
Walkin off like she thinks she's Lindsay Lohan
I ain't done yet! And you can bet
You don't wanna turn that new leaf
Without me
Cuz time is a thief
Oh YOU can walk off, stomp off and cuss
But all you REALLY wanna experience
.....Is us

Hey there little Boy,
First off..  Lindsay?
She's got nothing on me
Secondly...
Where you come off acting all cocky?
Like you actually know me
I'll walk away if I **** well please
Look at you
Smiling
Like you think I won't do it
Have you never met a poet?
I'll walk, no I'll run...  
Drip this ink I got for bullets
Out of my gun
On this page
Just for fun

Hold up, now anybody could see
That even YOU had enough
Sense to spell Boy
With a BIG B
And I DO know YOU
And you CAN walk away this is TRUE
It's cool
Cuz all I'ma do
Is follow you
Follow you
Till you don't run no more
Just let me get my feet in the door
And what you got guns out for?
Girl, I'm a lover not a fighter
A man whose heart burns with desire
Stop all this walking, all this running
PLEASE sit DOWN!
How do you KNOW I don't deserve your hearts CROWN?

Fine then boy,
Maybe I just like being chased
But seriously, stop wasting my time
I run even faster when love is on the line
Love = Heartbreak
I've learned that a time or two
I'm not gonna get my self tore up
Over the likes of You
Boy...  Can't you just see
I'm through
Done with the misery
I'm not gonna sit down
I Am gonna run away
Trust me...
You don't really want me to stay
I'm gonna get out my gun,
Use the ink I have for bullets
Start writing down my misery
In tiny poetic fragments
Hoping you can't really see
All my disappointments

I'm sorry,
I'm sorry that someone,
A LOT of someones, got here before me
And they hurt you and I'm sure I don't know WHAT you've been through
But don't you at least wanna TRY?
You really gonna tell me you can't SEE that in my eyes
That PASSION, that LOVE
I always heard that love was ENOUGH
And I got your BACK on your writing
Cuz I know it EASES your pain
We'll have a lifetime together,
Hold on, let me explain
I KNOW what you WANT
What you WANT is FOREVER
And to do it like that ..
We're gonna HAVE to be clever
Sometimes the ONLY way to be BROKEN
Is
*BROKEN TOGETHER

I'm still trying and crying
Feeling like I'm dying
Stop lying,
             I'm not buying
I'm not relying on what your supplying
Keep denying what your implying
All this prying and spying
Leaves me sighing
I'm no longer complying
No more trying
I'm done crying

Your going down,
           make you drown
Lose the frown,
        talk of the town
Drop the crown
Actin like a clown,
                showdown
Got pushed down,
        shot down
Put down,
      knocked down
Left laying on the ground
But I'm coming around

In preclusion to the confusion
I've come to a conclusion
I'm not losin this illusion
         Tired of your aggression
I'm left in seclusion
It's a transition,
           a new resolution
It's not confusin
I'm winning this aggravation


        Just
             Some
         Food
      For
              Thought

So what if I'm outspoken
My hearts been broken
I'm not jokin,
           my mind is awoken
Soul is stolen,
               must be an omen
Words unspoken,
       open and golden
Not what I would have chosen

***** the heartache,
      now I'm awake
Looks so opaque,
           you were fake
It was a mistake just to partake
Do a double take,
       no more heartbreak
Time to remake and fix the break
Give and take,
        now I'm awake

Was so miserable,
     unforgivable
It's criminal,
      be an individual
So predictable,
           you're an imbecile
It's unthinkable,
         not unconditional
Unintentional,
      you're unemotional
Not original,
        be considerable
It's so pitiful,
          not traditional
I'm rational and very visual

You ought to not get too distraught
You got caught tied in a knot
Like an afterthought,
            you fought
And brought the plot,
         overwrought
Maybe you forgot what you taught
But I'm not distraught
Over what you brought
Just
     some
         food
     for
  thought...

Walk away slowly
      Please don't run
Remember
    I'm still holding the gun
It's cocked
        And loaded....
Aimed at my temple
     Why didn't you listen?
The rules....
    WERE SIMPLE!!!
I handed you my heart
    Expecting you not to
        Break It!
You should've known it...
   I'm a ******* poet!
I can turn anything you say
     Into a **** ****** scene
Make you wish
      It was ALL A DREAM
But it's not
       And you're gone
I'm holding the trigger
          Thank God
I decided to use ink
      Instead of bullets...

I wish I was one of
      Those people
Who has the ability
       To break a heart
So badly they **** a soul
          If I was....
I swear I'd never let someone hurt
      The way I have

I wish I was one of
          Those people
Who could be loved so fully
        Cherished so deeply
      If I was...
I'd return the favor tenfold
      So lovingly
   I'd never let them go
      The way I never was

I wish I was one of
        Those people
Who are worth all the love
      and genuine affection
Someone worth having someone there
             Someone
        That really cares
            If I was....
I'd never take them for
     Granted
The way I always was

I wish I was one of
           Those people
Who have found their true love
      Happiness and joy
Someone who deserves that
        Love and companionship
I wish I could be the other half
         To anothers soul
     If I was....
I'd never let it go

The things we do
The way we feel
One word at a time

Nervous
That's my stomach
When you come into my sight

Fast
Is the beating of my heart
When you come close enough to touch

Soft
The feel of your bare skin
When it's barely up against mine

Sweet
The smell of your body
When you're all wrapped up in me

Heat
What we make
When our hearts pound together

Friction
The best thing to have
When you're all up inside me
Pleasing to every inch

More
The way we feel
When we never wanna stop

Yes
My answer to anything
When all I want is you

Beautiful
The only thing you see
When you look into my eyes

Wild
What I see
When I look into your soul

Tired
What we are
When we've had *** for hours

Everything...  One word at a time

Love
What I feel for you
And a million words couldn't
Describe how much
Love
I feel for you,

One word at a time...

I'm sorry...
  I was never good enough for you,
     That you never really loved me...
         I'm sorry for all the things I didn't do...


I'm sorry...
   I learned from my past and tried,
      That I did everything right...
          I'm sorry for all the times I cried...


I'm sorry...
   I'm trying so hard this time around,
       That you'll never really love me...
           I'm sorry you lift me up when I feel.  
                                                         ­   down...



                                           I'm so sorry....

"It's gonna be OK"
How do you know?
Have you ever felt this way?

"Stay Strong"
For much longer?
It's already been so long...

"You'll survive"
But I'm losing motivation
I don't have the will or drive...

"It will pass"
Possibly... But..
How long is it gonna last?

"There's always tomorrow"
You don't know that
Tonight could be the night I decide to go...

"You'll find someone to love you"
But I'm lonely now,
I need help to make it through

"You're resilient"
Maybe...
But I could still use a friend...

"I understand"
No, you don't
Please don't ever say that
You really have no clue
About all the things I'm going through

"I know you're sad, just try to think positive"
I positively think my mind's destructive

"You can handle it"
What if I don't want to?
What if I don't want hurt again?
What if this is the end?

"You'll figure it all out"
And if I don't...
Will you be there when I go down?
Help me up from off the ground?

"I'm here for you"*
Yea...  
Thanks...  
Me too...

If
One
More
Person
Tells
Me
To
"Stay Strong"

*I'MGONNAFUCKINGTHROWSOMETHINGLARGEANDHEAVY

Thoughts
           Mingling
Brain
           Tingling
Disturbance
           in
             the
                force

          *Who cares?

The world was on fire and no one could save me but you.

Burning, drowning in never ending flames
All you had to do was reach for my hand
You walked away, with no blame
Why you did, I'll never understand

It's strange what desire will make foolish people do.

You played foolish games, so many lies
Cheating and drugs, always hiding the truth
You simply say desire got the best of you
When I finally had all the ugly proof

And I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you.

In the beginning, you were the one
We were young, stupidly in lust
I think back to the good years, before we were done
Trying to remember happy times, when I must

And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you.

You, before I knew the truth, were perfect in every way
But after finding those 40+ women, it made me realize
It didn't matter what you did or what you had to say
It was over, done, no more will I listen to your ridiculous lies


No, I don't want to fall in love,

With you

Nobody Loves No One

I don't want you to say you love me because I only want the truth
I don't want you to say you can't live without me because that's too much to lose
I'd like you to say you want me, desire me, even after all the things I've been through
Because in reality, that's all I really need from you
I can live without the love unless it's really the truth
You can live without me, I'm not much to lose
But desire, want, need...  To touch, to feel, to taste...  That would make my day,
Not being desired, well..  It makes me wanna waste away
Although I think I love you, never knowing your touch...  
To actually never feel your skin, might just be too much
I don't need love, honestly... I'm not worth it anyways
But if I knew you desired me, intimately, it would get me through my days.
Lust on fingertips is better than love from lying lips

Smile when you think of all those that love you,
remember all the happy times in the past
not the sad ones.
Feel blessed to have all the joys you have had
and feel stronger for surviving all the bad moments.
So many people love you and want you to be happy.
Forget the people that don't,
they're not worth your thoughts.
I love you.
~ Tgwly/Melz

Digging
Ditches
In my
Mind
Trying
          To
              Bury
                   The
                          P
                             A
                                 S
                                    T
                                   .......

Love is a precarious thing
           A precious thing
When you're handed someones heart
               .......Hold it gently
Don't drop it or let it slip away
       Even when you can't love back
             For whatever reason you think
                  Care...
Care about them
      It's not too much to ask
Sometimes love is given
      With NO expectations
Simply because you're deserving
    There's nothing more to do
          Except, remember..
               Love is........
                       *A precious thing

HE:
It was a long while ago
since I left my village
There’s been no word
no traveller with news –
and I am dying for any song
from the girl I left behind


SHE:
It's been some time ago
Since that boy left me behind
Where he is, nobody knows
There's been no news to find
I would like to just sing him one more song
About how he's the boy that I've loved for so long
Maybe he'll come to me, in my dreams
But in reality, he's nowhere it seems...


HE:
The day’s work offers diversion
but the quiet evening
brings back the pain
How is she now
the one I left behind?
I see her still in my mind –
across the river
and she would not wave goodbye


SHE:
I regret not waving to him
On that dreadful final goodbye
I wonder if he thinks of me
On that last day, did he see me cry?
Daily chores and family
Offer me some solace
But nothing feels the same
As when him and I were US


BOTH: (Chorus)
Staring at this glassy water,
Our eternal hearts divide
Do you stare at the same moon’s reflection
From the other side?
I hope you find my love one day
Floating across this wayward water
Until then, I will pray
Our hearts are broken no longer

I'm just the girl                  I'm just the creep
Who loved you                  That loved you
Who else could I               Who else could I
be?                                       be?
What else could I              What else could I
do?                                       do?
Please notice the               Please notice the
past tense                           past tense
Cause it's not like             Cause it's not like
before                                 before
I did love you once          I did love you once
But now I love you          But now I love you
no more                             no more

This girl right here
That loved you long ago
Well, I'm finally through
Just thought you should know
I no longer dream of you
I no longer wish you were mine
Truly, I loved you once
But I've left those feelings behind

                    I'm sitting here thinking about
                    His mischievous smile
                    When you walk by, I look there
                    To where my new prince
                    charming sits,
                    You leer at me, finally realizing
                    That you're lost at sea
                    Without me.
                    I'm gone, you see...
                   You should've caught me
                   When you still captivated my naiveté.

You should have loved this girl back
I've got so much heart to share
I could have loved you so right
Unfortunately, you never did care
I'm glad I'm so over you
I can finally move on to someone new
What I want, you never did give
A real man and poet, who's so true

                   I've already torn you out
                   From your throne in my heart,
                   I dragged you out by the throat,
                   While you got scratched by all
                   the thorns
                   Lying neatly everywhere.
                   You stare at me from the ground,
                   Pleadingly, but
                   No... I have grown.

Not only do you no longer reside
Inside this heart made of gold
You no longer haunt my dreams
You no longer have the key to my soul
The love I gave, you took for granted
But now my heart is free to love another
After this, my poetry will have no more specks of you
You'll be out of my mind forever

                    No longer will I fall into your divinity,
                    I can't stand your fake holiness.
                    I am the devil that caresses your soul,
                   The creep that awaits you in
                    your mirror
                   The little parasite that will
                    poison your mind
                   Whispering hymns and psalms
                    into your fingers and lips.

Can't you see?
That creep that haunts you,
Is secretly me.
But now that we're both through
We'll taunt both your dreams
Tear you from the inside out
Ripping at you from you inner seams
We loved you without a doubt
But now we'll forget about you
While you're left drowning in the deep
Remember us, when you can no longer breathe
Sincerely ~ This girl and that creep