MTH 2d

Look at my smile, and look into my eyes,

Can you see the soul withered, I'm dead inside.

I will not cry, cause I lost my mind,

Insanity driven, I wonder why...

Cursed to live, when I want to die,

Won't kill myself, I wouldn't even try...

But I want to, guys...I really really do...

I wish you all understood the situation too...

I'll type it down below, in the box of notes...

My soul was snatched with all of my hopes.

I can't really explain it in the way I wish that I could. Let's just say that I was mercilessly dragged, my heart and my emotions by my first love. I fell for someone who was Demisexual and Alexithymia...literal polar opposites...He dumped me but offered to be friends...like I begged for it. I cried before this moment, multiple times. I knew already that it'd be over...I just wanted him to tell me...and when he told me...I laughed. I laughed, even though I wanted to cry. I want to die...but I can't help but to want to with a smile on my face...I'm losing my mind...but I wish I knew why...

I don't give a shit

The shit doesn't give a smell
The smell doesn't give a cloud
The cloud doesn't give a raindrop
The raindrop doesn't give a splash
The splash doesn't give a ripple
The ripple doesn't give a shiver
The shiver doesn't give a cold
The cold doesn't give a sneeze
The sneeze doesn't give a snot
The snot doesn't give a booger
The booger doesn't give a dirt
The dirt doesn't give a bacteria
The bacteria doesn't give a rod
The rod doesn't give a fish
The fish doesn't give a fin
The fin doesn't give an end
The end doesn't give a death
The death doesn't give a grave
The grave doesn't give a flower
The flower doesn't give a root
The root doesn't give a plant
The plant doesn't give a strawberry
The strawberry doesn't give a seed
The seed doesn't give a sprout
The sprout doesn't give a leaf
The leaf doesn't give a stem
The stem doesn't give a bud
The bud doesn't give a flower
The flower doesn't give a petal
The petal doesn't give a pollen
The pollen doesn't give a nectar
The nectar doesn't give a honey
The honey doesn't give a sugar
The sugar doesn't give a grain
The grain doesn't give a flour
The flour doesn't a bread
The bread doesn't give a toast
The vein doesn't give a blood
The blood doesn't give a heart
The heart doesn't give me up

And I already told you,
I still don't give a damn about it!

THIS IS LITERALLY HOW MUCH I DON'T CARE
Leonila Sep 26

The Thing About Love

The thing about this entity called love
It will consume your every thought
Take control over all of your senses
Seduce your mind until you’re empty
It’s merciless with your entire being
Confuse you until you lose direction
Leave you life- less in a two way street
Sever into pieces your heart and soul
Crush your emotions leave you numb
Poke your eyes out and leave you blind
Make you famished still never satisfied
Leave you empty and so impoverished
Keep your distance from this thing love
Fight it off with a strong soldier’s armor
Saturate yourself with as much repellent
This thing called love will bury you alive
Comes upon you suddenly with revenge
Even if you’re innocent of wrong doings
It visits you without invitation and stays
Love’s stay is not vacation it’s a lifetime
But if you stick around love long enough
Captivates and ravishes, it changes you
You become it’s fanatic enchained slave
Softens all parts of you 'til you are mush
You view life through a new perspective
You see life through rose colored lenses
Everyone is a loving friend and not a foe
You become love’s very crazed advocate
You’re in it’s hold to never let go of it
It makes a true sold out believer of you
In love’s involvement you become love
The thing about this entity called love
Is that is not such a bad thing at all…
So when it comes knocking on your door
Don’t treat it as a vagabond begging for you
Welcome it with open arms for it will make…
Love will make a new creation out of you
That is the thing about this entity called love.


©Leonila

Ginelle Sep 7

the gentle kiss on the lips
the smell of hunger in your breath
the taste of hennessy on your tongue
my fingers tangled in your hair

.  .  .

your lips lingered against my neck
the time stood still;
i glanced into those gleaming, beautiful, chocolate brown eyes

.  .  .

i always wonder,
what if?

i try not to think about it a lot, but talking to you always brings the memories back.
Mims Sep 3

"Why can't you just make sense? I can't figure you out"
It's quite easy really.
But I guess the stars understand more then you do.

Basic space kid

You thought I treated you unkindly
Though I gave my heart to you
My love was real and gentle  
Now my love is gone that's true

It is you that broke our love
Our friendship you refused
I will never forgive you for this

I regret that I forgave you
Letting you feel satisfied
It's you that I hate now
The one I truly despise

I now hate you so deeply
I will never forgive you again
Sadly I love you
Though I hate you
With all my heart

It's hard to explain the feelings I have
Moamina K Aug 10

Recklessly, I’ll hit my soul with a violin
And blow my heart’s candles
The sounds of the dropping strings
would get into the monk's house
And enter his secret room
And play along with illusionary elements of virtue
Since the monk is a human too.

Fake tattoo of you is being carved
On a salty layer of my brain
I’m sorry about you
Cause you,
I mean you, indeed
Have a heart stuffed with fur and simple wishes
Easy to knock its doors
And easy to book a flight between its rooms.

You've trusted me
You handed me that small bloody object.
That is covered by many blue and yellow veins..
Involuntarily, but voluntarily
Subconsciously…
You haven’t seen the ropes that were pulled out of your heart with every single word I'd say.

You loved your mind
And I loved mine more.
I plowed your eyes
By a harmonized symphony.

Dreams of preaching is like a pasture
When to be adorned with harmony
Under the sun light
And in air full of allergies..
The sons of the country are black
When their souls are out of touch.

And the wonders of a blind's speech cheer in the ascension
To Gemini bones in the corner
Repercussions at the top
that can't deter it from repelling tyranny.

I’m tired. Really tired.
It was the first time I had felt so tired.
my mind is confused.
My heart is muddled.
Conspicuous conscience.

I know the virtue
It doesn't last for so long
Without the columns of darkness
that are made of human, monk-like sins.

Quick write
back to sleep

Yes, I know you But I don’t know is it you or me
Yes, you came in my dream again
Refreshing the world which was fading out
I saw you were standing and I was trying to reach you
In a land where no physics works and no mathematics
I move toward you but I never reach
I want your attention but I didn’t get
Your last message was a rock, it stops me
It enlightens me and it made me sick
Is it you or mine insanity
That is what I ask ask and ask
Is it love or my weakness
Is it me or somebody else
But, I am hopeful to be able to make mockery of my thoughts
I am hopeful I will tell myself this is insanity
I am hopeful that one day I would find sanity

Something may haunt when you awoke
Always Ally Jul 29

I want it to be love
Oh desparate heart
I want it to be you
But what you is real

If you hold my hand
What a great start
If you be closer
I know you would feel

For me, a thousand kisses
For you, a golden throne
I want it to be real
But I'm really
All
Alone.

Do I only love the you in my head or you as you truly are
SATAN'S GIRL Jul 21

Up until my eyes are bloodshot.
I think about my life until my stomach is in knots,
I feel sad, happy, mad, sometimes it gets confusing.
In the end I do fall asleep but tomorrow I know what's awaiting me.

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