don't love me for my nice;
love me for my ugly

love me when I transform
into a monster
with the power to
drown everyone with
my tears

love me when I have
claws as my tongue,
even when the words I say
might stab your heart

love me when I lose control,
and start staring at you
with my crazy eyes;
the kind you experience
when hurt is in your sight

I wasn't ugly before;
rather my nice couldn't
mask itself any longer,
and decides that it is best
to let loose by destroying itself,
leaving room for nothing else
but whatever niceness that's left.

my body
and my mind;
these are the things
i wish are still mine

the term 'opposite attracts'
is coined for a reason,
when two similar people are
bonded with chemistry,
it can unwillingly cause
an explosive reaction,
that's physically and mentally
harmful to both sides
due to strong, obsessive
bonds for one another

yet when opposite attracts,
a subtle reaction is triggered
with occasional sparks,
and mixes to become
the perfect formula
we call love

today I ran away
from a home
structured from
obstructed happiness.

lost and oblivious
in stories of the world,
I ran to the doorsteps
to a familiar stranger,
pridefully named Death.

He screamed at me
from behind the door
and chased me away,
but I couldn't budge
as I realise what love is
the moment our eyes met
at the peephole

the memories of us
induced my insomnia,
and the tears on my pillow
became my sleeping pills

let's be friends, wait -
no, let's not be friends;
feelings, stop confusing me.

do you know you sound
like two angels bickering -
and then making out?
when you stare at me,
my reflex says run fast,
but all I want to do;
is run close.

you, I really hate you,
annoying *****,
sometimes I want to
slap you straight
into my face, then lips.

and then when I saw you,
behind the ***** windows
with your friends,
and my female best friend,
laughing and sounds of
woos and hoo's -
I give up.

                ***** this 'friend-****'.                                        

you once said,
let's be friends,
and I said, go to hell;
but ten years later,
all I want to say is,
let's be friends,
behind the screens.

she said
I should suppress
my feelings for now
and she is right;

deep down I'm just
too tired to fight;
sometimes I find myself
walking further from the light;
and for that I feel like
my life can never be bright

the reason
I'm happy every day
is because
I woke up
from a nightmare
that almost consumed me
the night before.

and I laugh
for I fear;
when I face
the same nightmare again
I wouldn't wake up
to see
the day after tonight.