It's trapped inside my body,
a dark and cloudy dust...
I can't let it out,
it's merged with my blood.
I call for a doctor,
but they won't pick up the phone..
I spend my time wallowing,
It's not leaving me alone...
How can I be better,
when the past is always on my mind...
I'm scared to love,
I'm scared to live,
I just watch the days go by..
Finally, I find a way to remove it from inside of me.
Now I hear a ring from my phone,
But, now there is no need...
There is a time these feelings come back so intensely.
On other times...
they are a passing thought.
I don't blame it on the lack of care but...
I tried to want,
I tried to wait,
to be here...
the space given couldn't even accommodate the start of what I actually felt.
I am at a point where I let part(s) of myself go.
Those that I outgrow and don't work for me no more.
It is black, white, grey, blue...
many are colors of hope,
some are those of pain.
A woman's gotta live,
and when she is drowning,
she has to fight here way up and allow herself to breath again.
She then finds a safe home within herself before looking for it in other people and places.
I felt the silence like a shiver through the night,
Oily darkness like smoke it swallows light,
But I cannot fear when darkness was a part of me,
It almost ate my soul and stole my heart right out of me.
Now I keep myself to the fringes,
I seal the lock I melt all the hinges,
Now I stand so strong & happy by myself,
Sifting through the ashes of my minds wealth.
I needed isolation to find absolution for my self insurrection,
Confidence grows out of impotence with this correction,
Harvesting worth while I walk this direction,
Rebirth of the spirit in this resurrection.
My cells all sighed a breath of relief
My soul shimmering with the glow of belief
My mind finding balance banishing this grief
My life looking lighter with more life than a reef.
You hid pieces of yourself,
In places you would never look.
Hidden within those inner landscapes;
Unable to remember their names.
"Within each of us
Yes, it's under the surface
Is a land of mystery
Just waiting to be explored ."
a hint that there is more to life and it is uniquely yours.
i have an unpopular opinion
the title there is now, call it:
musician, programmer, writer, designer, editor...
this is me. this is all me.
i'm no master at one, i'm no jack of all trades,
i'm master of some.
this thing doesn't make you who you are
you can't be defined by your careers
or even your hobbies.
they're supposed to complete you
and make you whole.
not some competition who gets what the best
don't sweat it, you have your own path
you like making music? good. you're a musician
you like programming? yikes. you're a programmer
you like writing? nice. you're a writer
you like designing? brilliant. you're a designer
you like singing? awesome. you're a singer
only you can define who you are
you're not what others tell you
- p.a -
I’m the cling-clang of coins in my pocket,
and loose paperclips in a desk drawer.
Like lipstick and gum in a lady’s purse,
I’m a kid’s toys strewn about on the floor.
When I walk my insides rattle about,
like a janitor’s keys without his ring,
like groceries bagged by junior baggers,
I’m jumbled as a cat’s unraveled string.
I’m less ordered than a box of Legos,
or debris remaining after a storm.
Nuts and bolts in an amateur toolbox
click-clack and click-clack with even more form.
I’m just a package of random loose parts,
though the world sees me as perfectly fine.
Life is making order of that chaos,
but it’s my life and that chaos is mine.
Blogging at www.insightshurt.com
Buy “Insights Hurt: Bringing Healing Thoughts To Life” at store.bookbaby.com/book/insights-hurt
At last we lay silent
under the bliss of Joy
Your body drifting off
into another realm
where calm blankets
I watch your chest
rise and fall
listening to your breath
ebb and flow
like the gentle rhythmic tide
as you retreat and return
to the moon sprawled
across your bed
my eyes take in
every aspect of you
I find my fingers
brushing your hair
away from your face
kissing the crevice
between your nose and cheek
settling on your warm mouth
as your out breath emerges
from your lips to mine
I watch as you fall
further and further away
knowing we are separate souls
unable to save each other
from the dark night
but for now we have found a place
for our bodies to rest
in embracing arms
Syncing our heart beats
until day breaks
where we part again