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Apr 14 · 171
gem
solfang Apr 14
gem
she was the gem
that shined bright
in your eyes;
but today,
you compared
her with trash

one man's trash,
is another man's
treasure;
perhaps you've
not seen her value,
or you're never a
lapidary to begin with
thought of a relationship my friend had, and it didn't last.
guess I knew why
Apr 14 · 169
let it go
solfang Apr 14
let it go,
and it's going
to be okay;
my mind gently
comforted my
broken heart

still,
my mind chooses
what it wants to see;
but my heart
knew exactly
what it felt
my feelings right now
solfang Apr 6
I can't afford to
hurt myself anymore;

my heart shatters
into tiny shards
each time it breaks;
and I've lost
too many pieces
to mend it again

my heart
no longer has a place
in my body;
it always chooses
to come and go
to find love
with pain

I've spent hours
waiting for it to
skip back in glee;
but my heart
always returns
with nothing but
sad, sad memories

when my
heart breaks,
my soul does too;
and I can only afford
to lose one,
but not two
when will it be the right time to let go?
Apr 4 · 174
see
solfang Apr 4
see
if our love
was meant to be,
why is it
that you were
the only one
who can't see?
got me doubting if we're in this for real
solfang Apr 3
I learned
why clouds
sometimes rain
on sunny days;

it's hiding
sunbeams that light
the days away;
because when people
get too comfortable
with warmth,
they'll forget
thunderstorms exist
sometimes when you get too happy being in a relationship, you'll forget that it can potentially hurt you
Apr 3 · 220
muse
solfang Apr 3
you were my muse,
the creative influence
in my poetries;
the inspiration
to my many
tales of heartbreaks,

a performer,
you sang the
songs of sorrow
that played in
my heart;
yet I found myself
singing along

your presence
is a unique form
of abstract art,
and I was the curator
that knew
your real value

I am no longer
a starving artist,
but even I had once
dreamed a dream
we'll be making
art together again
someday
your affection has been inspiring me recently, but I can feel you're slowly ghosting me– and it hurts.
Apr 3 · 122
object
solfang Apr 3
all these items used
to describe my love
for you;
but I'm the one
treated like
an object
in this relationship
does anyone want to share their experience as well? I would love to hear them and give you some words of comfort.
Apr 2 · 166
soul
solfang Apr 2
goodbye, my soul

I'll see you again
when I stop lying
to myself

when the reflection
in my mirror
looks beautiful to me

when I am kinder
to myself

and when I finally
stop writing poems
like this
Apr 2 · 210
this feeling
solfang Apr 2
return
this feeling
you did not want;
this feeling
that was once mine,
deformed over time;
this feeling,
warped and wrecked,
this feeling,
stomped and threaded;
this feeling,
has no cure,
this feeling,
it hurts for sure.
feeling sad
Apr 1 · 146
break the block
solfang Apr 1
not only did you break my heart,
but also my writer's block;
let this help me tell our stories
in the form of scattered poetries
Apr 1 · 191
fairy tales
solfang Apr 1
a girl can dream
for her prince;
but fairy tales
just don't exist
Apr 1 · 134
bait
solfang Apr 1
a big catch
that is worth it;
that's what you once said
when you attempted
to reel me in

yet I see there's
no longer a bait at
the end of your hook;
perhaps an easy catch
just wasn't thrilling
enough for you
suitors aplenty, yet they seem to disappear the moment I return their affection.
Apr 1 · 133
vessel
solfang Apr 1
how is it
possible that both
love and hatred
exist in the
same empty vessel
my body owns?
gotta stay strong, gotta keep the feelings going
Mar 30 · 860
heartbeats
solfang Mar 30
our heartbeats
can never be in sync;
for I know mine
will always be beating
faster than yours
Mar 26 · 131
honeymoon
solfang Mar 26
they call it the honeymoon stage
as it's supposed to taste sweet
but why does mine taste like
a different kind of bitter?
choices were made, but were those the right kind?
Mar 26 · 127
butterflies
solfang Mar 26
you told me
I smelled like butterflies;
perhaps they've escaped
from your stomach
and metamorphosed
into this fluttering feeling
you're having for me
So recently, someone told me I smelled like butterflies (I'm not kidding).
I guess they were just flustered and messed up flowers with butterflies.
Feb 18 · 123
body with no direction
solfang Feb 18
is my body gravitating down,
or levitating up?

either way my body
is out of control,
and I'm stuck in the middle
trying to figure out
where my feelings for you
is taking me
Not sure if this feeling will take me somewhere good, or it'll just spiral downhill from here.
Jan 15 · 246
blossom
solfang Jan 15
I'll go back to my roots,
and sprout up new strength;
and when I blossom again,
it'll be done beautifully,
for the bees and butterflies,
and the gardener who believed in me.
started a new job; previous job took away my spark, but it's time to shine once again. During this period, I'm glad I had great support from people around me.
Dec 2019 · 764
boy
solfang Dec 2019
boy
your love is a decoy,
because you'll always be a boy,
and my feelings,
is your toy to destroy;

that is how
you find joy
Boys will always be boys– because real men knows how to handle things with care
Dec 2019 · 116
learn to love again
solfang Dec 2019
a lesson to learn,
a passion to return,
a new love I yearn,
my trust, for him to relearn
the feeling of hurt; love itself is a process, and whether if it progresses, it's a different story to tell.
Dec 2019 · 160
white christmas
solfang Dec 2019
How can it be a white Christmas,
when my feelings is blue,
And my eyes,
all red from the crying;
the room emits sombre greyness
just because you're not here ,
to tell me how pure today is
Merry (?) Christmas
Dec 2019 · 277
pleasure is pain
solfang Dec 2019
seek me for pleasure;
and you might end up in pain
physically, and emotionally speaking.
Dec 2019 · 188
tainted
solfang Dec 2019
I've tainted our friendship
with love that isn't platonic;
it's spreading fast,
yet I can only see
it's covering nothing

because like us,
we're nothing
should learn to stop liking people that doesn't like me back
Dec 2019 · 285
pause
solfang Dec 2019
let me pause
these daydreams,
and wake up to a reality
where it was never as it seems,
and you were never there to begin
the truth hits you harder when you realise these feelings should never exist in the first place.
Dec 2019 · 255
mine
solfang Dec 2019
my body
and my mind;
these are the things
i wish are still mine
ever felt like you're losing yourself, slowly but certainly?
Dec 2019 · 285
love at first sight (iii)
solfang Dec 2019
from the way
you're staring at me,
i think I've made you
believe in
love at first sight
feels like it is going to be a series at this point.
Dec 2019 · 637
the language of you
solfang Dec 2019
kindness is a rare craft,
yet it's etched on you;
so show the world
what you're made of,

and someday,
the world will share
the story of you,
and they'll speak
in the language of kindness,
the language of you
a poem dedicated to a friend
---
hey Juls (Juliet), if you're reading this, thank you for everything.
thank you for showing us what kindness is made out of.

best of luck in your journey, and may you do what you do best.
take care!
Nov 2019 · 469
love at first sight (ii)
solfang Nov 2019
love at first sight
only exist to me
because it's you
You made me believe what I never believed
Nov 2019 · 261
let's give away love
solfang Nov 2019
i don't deserve love
because i gave
mine away
so easily
to the wrong one,
when the right one
fought for it
so badly
sometimes I wonder, have i found the right one - but pushed them away, thinking they are the wrong one?
Nov 2019 · 137
love at first sight
solfang Nov 2019
if love at first sight exist,
why are you still here?
go find love.
Nov 2019 · 106
stung
solfang Nov 2019
your love stung,
the last time
i tried to
hold it tight

perhaps it was
poisoned by past lovers
and they've forgotten
to hand you the antidote

or maybe,
you've wrapped it
with sharp thorns;
like a wild garden
unexplored and afraid
to be trampled on

whatever it is,
it's spreading to me;
but i could tell
it's from the time
you broke my heart
[so, this is heartache?]

Used to have crushes on people who were afraid of loving again, and afraid to love in case they experience hur.
Nov 2019 · 289
couldn't do
solfang Nov 2019
he swore that I am his world,
something you couldn't do;
he worshipped me as if I was his,
something you couldn't do;
he told me I was his sun, moon, stars
something you couldn't do;
he said he loved me and only me,
something you couldn't do;
but the one who stole my heart,
my laughter, and my love,
it was you
something he couldn't do
I hate one-sided feelings; I wish I can do something about it.
Aug 2019 · 300
just imagine.
solfang Aug 2019
just imagine if it was us getting old together,
just imagine if it was us getting together,
just imagine if it was us,
just imagine.
[warm up post] just imagine if I've more ideas for this.
Jul 2019 · 181
I like how you're
solfang Jul 2019
I like how you're
the sunlight that
lands on my face
during warm winter days

I like how you're
the meaning to
the sun in sunflower,
and the breath
in a baby's breath

I like how you're
the laugh box
in my body,
and the batteries
are still running

I like how you're
the happy ending
to fairy tales,
with prince and princesses
but no villains

I like how you're
just the way you are
so I can write this poem
in remembrance of you
I like how you're reading this.
Warming up my brain for something more maybe.
Jul 2019 · 252
warm breath
solfang Jul 2019
I'm learning to lose my love
over your warm breath,
because when it stops one day,
mine would too.

your warm breath,
over my shoulder, over my neck,
hands tighter and firmer,
more than they used to be

from the front to the back,
everywhere with your warm breath;
masking my unspoken agony,
your warm breath is mine,
mine and only.
these feelings are meant to be written, not spoken
Jun 2019 · 192
feeling feelings
solfang Jun 2019
I'm incapable of feeling feelings,
but that's okay.
these feelings are feelings
I have to pay,
what more can I say?

when feelings are allowed to feel,
that's when it's harder to heal,
my emotions are now sealed,
it'll never be concealed.

I can't feel happy,
even when days ain't ******;
I can't feel sad,
even when everything goes bad;
I can't feel love,
even when I can see doves;
I can't feel feelings,
this is what I'm dealing.
This poem is the side effect of taking anti-depressants.
My therapist said if I'm okay with the numbness.
Casually, I told her these feelings I'm feeling are the reason why I'm sitting here with her today.
Jun 2019 · 633
worst heartbreak
solfang Jun 2019
my worst heartbreak
is when I learned
to love someone
who isn't myself
self-love is important!
May 2019 · 318
glad you got away
solfang May 2019
hey mutual,
how are you doing today?
glad you got away
from the abuse he gave,
and the mean words he said.

mutual,
I remember you,
defending the bruises
and the scars he left,
they were all blue.

mutual,
you were in love
with the idea of being loved,
you weren't in love,
with the idea of getting hurt.

mutual,
we're no longer mutuals,
you're no longer mutuals
with him too,
and that's okay.

I'm glad that help is on its way.
I was mutual friends with this ******* Facebook; constantly saw her updates on her abusive relationship. Last we got connected, I figured she got out of it, and that's more than okay.
Apr 2019 · 571
i think i'm depressed
solfang Apr 2019
my head is numb,
and I'm here to express;
it's looking real glum
I think I'm depressed

I'm taking meds,
wouldn't budge from my bed,
my eyes scream out sad;
this feels really bad.

everyone says,
"it's going to be okay",
but they are not here to stay,
who gave them a say?

I think I'm depressed,
feeling kinda gray,
perhaps I'm feeling stressed,
but it's just like any other day.
big mood.
Mar 2019 · 546
cactus.
solfang Mar 2019
I killed my cactus,
distressed and helpless;
it'll never survive regardless.

I watered it more than I should,
for some reason it withstood;
as more affection is never no-good,
but intentions are often misunderstood.

one time I changed its ***
and had a second afterthought.
I then changed its soil,
yet I'm stuck in a turmoil.
these weren't the changes I seek,
for I loathe its spines -
so cluttered and bleak.

maybe I should have gotten
a tiny potted succulent,
or plants with stinger;
perhaps I never even had
the green fingers.
I have friends who were stuck in an unconventional relationship - abusive.
they believe they were changing each other for the better but couldn't differentiate their wrongs and rights.
----
side note: was asking opinions on what hobbies I should take up, some friends suggested caring for succulents - told them I couldn't even keep a cactus alive.
Mar 2019 · 390
you couldn't. i couldn't.
solfang Mar 2019
you couldn't love me
the moment you realised,
I couldn't love me
Been struggling with depression; wondering how long will it take before people leave
Jan 2019 · 281
my father's road
solfang Jan 2019
I wish it's my father's road,
For my father,
He'll take the right actions;
When strangers make a monkey out,
Of themselves, and induce fear
onto his daughter of flesh and blood.

I wish it is my father's road,
For my father,
Would not allow atrocity
To happen when he's on guard.

I wish it is my father's road,
For my father,
He does not have a vile temper,
But shows real anger when
I'm hurt.

And I'm hurt,
By names my father did not gave me,
On the road that does not belong
to my father.
Grandfather/father's road: A retort to druvera/pedestrian who act like they own the roads. Commonly heard, and said as part of Malaysia/Singapore's street language.

Feels like cat-callers owned the road these days. I live in fear.
Oct 2018 · 935
to the person I am today
solfang Oct 2018
to the person I am today,
thank you for loving
the yesterday's me.
Talked to a friend, learned a little something about self-love.
I resented my past, but today I learned to embrace bits of the hatred and turning it into appreciation.
Oct 2018 · 1.2k
you don't own me
solfang Oct 2018
you don't own me;
yet you gripped my past
gave me nightmares,
and made me loathe living.

you don't own me;
but you claimed to be
my saviour when
you blindly tied me
to your wills.

you don't own me,
for I won't be owned,
by no one but myself.
Been through few events in my life, where I felt like I do not belong to myself
Sep 2018 · 240
grief//love
solfang Sep 2018
how grieving
can a heartbreak be,
till one swears off love
completely?
I hate rainy seasons— those are the times when I think of the love that never happened.
Sep 2018 · 580
im perfect until you
solfang Sep 2018
I was told that
you do not like
my disjointed arms,
my geekish look,
my elongated legs,
my unruly manner.

I never knew
I am imperfect,
until you
pinpointed my
obviously beautiful flaws.
allow me to love myself the way I want.
Aug 2018 · 223
the day after tonight
solfang Aug 2018
the reason
I'm happy every day
is because
I woke up
from a nightmare
that almost consumed me
the night before.

and I laugh
for I fear;
when I face
the same nightmare again
I wouldn't wake up
to see
the day after tonight.
the pain from my anxiety is getting into me. every night.
Sometimes, I'm afraid that I wouldn't wake up to see the day after tonight.
Aug 2018 · 1.1k
fell/fall in love
solfang Aug 2018
I fell out of love
with the thought of
falling in love.
I think there's a phase in life where you'll stop fantasizing about love and focus more on what's really revolving around you
Jul 2018 · 1.0k
future || present | past
solfang Jul 2018
how can I envision the future,
when I'm stuck in the present,
dwelling on my past.
I find it hard to plan or foresee my future because I can't handle the things on my hand now. I blame my past memories for all of this
Jul 2018 · 744
acceptance
solfang Jul 2018
when will I ever,
accept the acceptance
of letting go?
There are things in life that I can't get over.
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