She had galaxies
In her eyes
And her tears
Were falling stars.

You can pretend
That the black gloss
On my lashes
Will glue my eyes shut-
Make me blind to truth;
To ‘true knowledge.’
Go ahead.
Tell yourself
That my red-painted lips
Only spout nonsense.
It will only make it sweeter
When my wing-lined eyes
Give you whiplash
as I walk past you
To get my degree;
My award;
My paycheck.
Maybe if you’re ‘nice’
I’ll buy you an ice pack.

I tried.
I promise you, I tried.
I loved you and
You told me you loved me
And I knew you did.
And because I loved you
I let you go
And I knew
You were at peace.
At least for a little bit.
You were safe.
And I was hurting
And I wanted to scream.
I wanted to set the world on fire.
But you were not in pain,
And that was all I could ever ask for.

But then he came

And he brought you back.

And it hurt you.
You were in so much pain.
I could see it in your eyes.
Feel it in my soul.
And then you were gone.
Again.
But it was not a peaceful end.
And you were gone.
Gone for good.
And he won.
The monster we made with our loss.

And then I felt myself go.
And it was okay
Because I was with you-
My Love.
You were there,
And he was there,
Waiting for me-
          I could see him.
The other half of me.
And I was gone.
And my family
          My family.
They were hurting,
But I was at peace.

I hope they knew.

~
Heroes
They call you,
Heroes.
There's just something-
Something about that
Word.
~
I’ve got this special
Kind of magic,
And wouldn’t it be
Just awesome,
If I could be one-
A Hero-
Too?
~
I did my best.
And I defied you.
Disobeyed you.
I’m sorry
(but it was worth it).
I’m sorry.
~
I don’t want to leave.
I’m not ready to go
I don’t want to go.
Please.
Hold on.
Hold on for me.
Please don’t let me go.
~
I’m sorry.
I’m so sorry.

Made, Made, Made,
We are made into what we are.
We are made
Into monsters,
Into dreamers;
          Believers.
We make ourselves;
Make each other.
We make our kingdoms
and our own personal Hells.
We are the queens of our realms
          And the kings and princes
We are the villains
The rabble-rousers
The Revolutionaries.
We are the killers
        Of our enemies
        Of our own
        Of the land.
We are made into what we are
And oftentimes,
It is not our fault.

The bite of the cold
(Outside)
Is nothing compared to this
(your) Suffocating warmth
(I can’t stand it)

I know a girl
Maybe more
than she knows
herself.
You see,
She looks
In the mirror
And believes that
She's plain.
But when I look
At her
I see
so much
More.
I look and see
Sparkling eyes
As deep
As the universe
Itself.
I see her hair
Shining with
Layers
of soft, secret
Beauty.
I see her
I know
Her joy
Her sorrow
Her.

Sometimes i just want
To curl up on
A cold, rainy day
And sink into
The arms of someone
Who loves me.

Tattoos are scars
we choose to keep--
words we want to carry,
memories we fear losing;
ink and needle are
the self-inflicted stinging:
the pain we choose to feel.
art on our bodies--
out of our minds--
something
real.

I clung to you like a lifeline-
A floating buoy in a violent sea
But when I let go of you
Into the deep, deep
Blue,
I found that I had gills—
And I could breathe.

Sometimes,
When you call out my name
And you smile and wave,
I smile because, well,
Why wouldn’t I smile?

But sometimes,
Hours later when I lie
Awake in bed and smile
To myself, I learn to hate
That smile.

Because you always,
always smile at me,
and never for me.
Never in the way
you smile for her.

I wish I could
draw that smile
from your lips

I want to make you
laugh... and-
Oh, i dunno.

I want to hold
your hand
in mine.

L i s t e n   f o r   t h e   s o u n d   o f   a   b r o k e n   h e a r t ,

C a l l i n g   f o r   a   s i g n   o f   l o v e .

G a z e   i n t o   t h e   e y e s   o f   a   s h a t t e r e d   s o u l ,

S e e k i n g   h e l p   f r o m   u p   a b o v e

in that dark room
Of shadowed histories

the Snake smiles,
and raises a glass-
the Blood on his hands
dripping onto clean cloth.

the Sparrow watches on;
Caged in her own regret.
her face is a blank Mask.

the Fawn gazes across a
would-be bright future.
trees and grasses Glow
With promise and dreams.

THEY run the World.
the rest of -us- suffer through;
raised by Hope,
cut down by Snakes.

i sat there for the
longest time.

In the dark-
in that small,
small space and

fabric rustled around me
with every shift and every
movement and change.

I watched, through
the small crack of light,
the shadows
dance and the soles of
shoes pass.

I tried to make sense
of their movements
the sounds that come
out of their mouths.

Their interactions.

After the longest time I
decided to stand up
from the floor
of that small, dark space.

Quietly,
I put my hand on
the ****, and it turned.

I crept out
of that space.
Timid, unsure.

I don't think
anyone noticed.
I'm glad.

I'm still not quite...

there yet.

A cooling breeze
trickling in through the window
on a humid night

the lights outside
muffled by the drizzling rain,
the rustling trees

the comfortable warmth
of my bed, this blanket,
and your arms around me.

My bones ache
Like crumbling stone cliffs
Constantly battered
By a sea of exhaustion.

My soul grows restless
though I grow weary
I wish for a peaceful adventure
to cure this aching want.

It might be in the way
The buildings seem
to smile at each other
Or the way
The street lamps flicker
Hello
As you walk by.

Maybe it talks
To the small town
just south of the border
By way of the people
who come
and go.

Perhaps the spirit
Of a city
Flows through the power lines;
The grids of fire and lightning.
Maybe the lights are akin to life.

Maybe the city's mind-
Its complex, high-functioning brain
Lies underground.
Its neurons are the subways
Moving the people like so many thoughts.

Maybe the soul of a city lies
Within the people who dwell there.
The new ones that add to it
The ones who are just
Swallowed whole

Into the abyss
Of lights and life and love.

If I could leave my soul behind
I would leave it here-
Where it could dream forever.

The rain descends
like a velvet curtain.

I use that steady
pounding, thrumming
downpour

to cleanse my skin
of your touch.

It fills me up, and I spit you out;
wring you out of my hair.

Thunder crashes
lightning flashes
and I
Let
you
go.

They say when you hit
Rock
Bottom,
The only way left to go
Is up.
But what happens
When I reach
the top
of the mountain?
What happens
when there is no way
to reach higher?
is that my Limit?
When you reach the bottom,
the only way left to go
is up.
When you reach the top
Can you go no further?

I think
I’m crashing down.

Burn the silver from her eyes,
Sharp is the dagger that cuts blood ties

Swift is the arrow that breaks his heart,
Blunt is the ax that cleaves them apart.

Iron teeth and nails of steel,
Cool, the icy wind that heals.

Dare to calm the roaring flame,
Count the people who fear her name.

Drink the blood of fallen foes,
Unseen hands that no one knows.

The many faces she must wear,
A nameless burden, she must bear.

Shadows creep in the dead of night,
The assassin is silent, out of sight.

Slow is the sword that cannot win,
Conceal the flame, keep it in.

Break the collar of restraint,
Black, the keys you must obtain.

Burn the darkness from the night,
For she is the Queen of the Light.

You go out late
at night, and i stay here,
picking up the pieces
of the mess you left behind.

(i am the mess you left behind
and i spend the night
picking up the broken
pieces of myself.)

She sleeps
In the bright meadow
Under the sunny oaks,
maples, pines.

The darkness closes in.
Still,
She sleeps
And the guardian watches on.

Why is saying goodbye
so easy
when every word
every syllable
every sound
of "hello"
was so
*******
hard?

You are the center
of your own world.
You look forward and you
turn around and you
are still looking forward.

(Even if someone tells you
you’re facing backward,
to you it is still forward.)

You are your own
pivot point- the axis-
The pin in the paper.
When you stand
you stand still.

(Everything else around you
Will change and
Sometimes you change too
But you’re still you.)

I find it funny
How we live our lives
Showing our love
And gratitude
And everything else
In the value of
little
metal
pieces
And slips of
paper
Whose value
Is more than it should be,
When all we do is
waste away
Until the world is naught
But dust and starlight.

I could live here
In this old, old town
Running around
Late at night
Kissing up against
Worn brown bricks.

Hiding behind
the lethal blade,
he
slices open to
reveal blackened
pain
and sorrow beyond that
which most could ever
comprehend.

She breathed into them,
The sound of it like a prayer-
Etched into your skin
With permanent ink.

What words
Were so important
That you had to remember them
In such a way?

Time passes
in seconds,
minutes,
hours.

People pass by-
day
by day
by day.

She sits, statuesque,
in the glowing light
of Dusk
waiting for the end.

yet...

An angel comes
on wings of red and gold.
He carries with him
a saving Grace.

**** it,
I'm strong,
independent,
and I'm my own
******* person

But ****,
I'm lonely.

I want
a hug? maybe?
the touch of
someone who cares
the comfort of affection

I crave
that warmth.

I was in the old sector of a city
one day
and I thought
of this boy
whom I might've
            liked
                to love
                      in another life.
I remember he told me
one day
he'd want to live
in the old part
of a big city.

I asked him why,
and in all honesty,
            I wouldn't be able to tell you his answer.
Walking through that neighborhood,
I think
I might've known why.

Modern cities
are full of culture
and people
and noise,
but the historic districts-
the original apartments
and bricks
and stones-
they have souls
and thousands
of memories.
Those buildings have witnessed
        history
in the making.

I’ll never be the ‘nice’ girl
Clean and pure like fallen snow,
But I will burn away the hate
And any demons you may know.

I promise that I’ll be here
When the darkness hurts your heart
I will glow, burn, and light the way
Because ‘pretty’ can’t match art.

I’ll burn with the rage of fire
But I won’t be your glowing moon,
I do not love nor give trust freely,
But it’s strongest when I do.

You might only see my shielded heart
And my ever-guarded soul,
But find the crack and then
I’ll be yours- eternal, broken, whole.

I’ll never be the nice girl
Because I’m ‘better’ than just nice-
Because my fire burns the brightest
And I’ll be willing to pay their price.

What is
A soulmate?

is it someone who
knows
everything about you
without needing to be told?

Or is it someone who
completes you?

Are they supposed to be
your other half?

Do you need to be
completely
dependent
on each other?

Can a soulmate be
a friend?

Do you know exactly
who it is
the moment you meet them?

Do you only have one soulmate?
certainly there
(or somewhere).

What if you
aren't in
Love?

Sometimes
“I'm just tired”
Means
I'm sad

Sometimes
“I'm just tired”
Means
I feel like nothing

Sometimes
“I'm just tired”
Means
I don't know

Sometimes
“I'm just tired”
Means
You wouldn’t understand

Sometimes
“I'm just tired”
Means
I want to cry but I won't

Sometimes
“I'm just tired”
Means
I just wish…

Sometimes
“I'm just tired”
Means
I want to scream

And Sometimes
“I’m just tired”
Means I’m lost
and I don't know what to do

A b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z yes. z y x w v u t s r q p o n m l k j i h g f e d c b a no. a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z stay? z y x w v u t s r q p o n m l k j i h g f e d c b a go. a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z left? z y x w v u t s r q p o n m l k j i h g f e d c b a right. a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z day? z y x w v u t s r q p o n m l k j i h g f e d c b a night. a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z.
M a k e y o u r c h o i c e.

To crave affection
Is to crave-
To long for-
The display of love
And care.

To want affection,
One must first want
To be loved
And then want
To be shown that love.

To crave affection
Is to long for the knowledge
that one is loved and as much as
I shame myself for that craving
I can find no fault in it.

My heart pounds.
My lungs stutter,
chest tightens, hands shake.

Words echo
harsh and
loud like two drums off-beat.

I don't want
to listen
but they don't want to stop.

Be the ocean
Wild and free
Everchanging
And unrelenting

Be the storm
Calm at the center
A whirlwind
All around

Be the sun
Burning bright
Shining down
A source of Life

Be the night
Brilliant as the stars
But also the darkness
Helping them shine

Be the leaves
Flying away
At the whim of the breeze
Colors of the wind

Be brave
Be humble
Have courage
And Be kind

Be the changemaker
Be the change
You want
The world to be

Be whoever-
Whatever-
You want
To be

You were like
that warm spring day in March.
You were my seventy degrees
the tulips poking through the ground
the first crocuses of the season.

You were the warm breeze
the shining sun.
You were my warmth
at the end of the winter.

but you were also a lie.

Because you became that snow
after snow
after snow
You were the less-than-thirty

The flowers froze
and crumbled.
The sun was still there
but it was a cold, harsh light.

You were kind and beautiful,
warm and bright,
but you were a lie.
You were my snowstorm in March.

Paint me a picture
Show me the world
Through Color and beauty
It never grows old.

Draw me as I am
Freeze me in time
Capture the moment
Leave the Past behind.

Sculpt and carve
Build up and chip away
Make something that will stay here
Stand Tall and never sway

Create something, anything
A picture or a memory
Remember forever
Keep it safe for me.

Oh.
You... and her.
Oh.
Well...
I'll just
smile and laugh

and keep your
smile
in the back of my
mind.

I'll just
push those
thoughts
away.

I mean yes,
Fear can rule.
But those people-
The ones who think
They rule fear,
The ones who think
They are fear,
Never account for
The few
Who stand up straight
And spit on Fear
They will stand up
And slap you, fear,
in the face.
They are the ones
Who will save us all.

All I want from life
is that when I smile
someone always smiles back

I️ do not wish you to Heaven
Nor do I️ wish
The fires of Hell
upon your soul,
I️ only ask the abyss
To grant you the eternal
Nothingness
Emptiness
Longing
Pain
That you had given me.
Sincerely,
Jane.

To all the girls
And all the boys
And all those in between

Who bleed the colors
Of all the lights
That no one’s ever seen.

I’d like to think
That as a person,
I am good;
That I do good things.

But sometimes,
As I lie awake at night,
I count my blessings
And I count
My sins.